FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > 6 Weeks In… Still Trying But Honestly a Bit Fed Up
6 Weeks In… Still Trying But Honestly a Bit Fed Up
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"Hey all, So, I’ve been on Fab for about 6 weeks now. Not really a newbie anymore, and I’ve honestly been giving it a proper go updated my profile, added proper pics (with a bit of privacy of course), got photo verified, became a site supporter basically trying to do things the right way. I’ve sent out more than 50 messages, mostly to local users, always respectful and based on their bios no copy-paste, no dick pics, just me saying hi and trying to start a real convo. A few asked for face pics, and I sent them. Some mention needing verification from other users fair enough, but if no one gives new people a chance, how is that even possible? Out of all those messages, maybe 2 replied, and even those didn’t really go anywhere. It’s been frustrating, especially when I see profile statuses that say “looking for quickie,” “local FWB,” or “regular fun nearby” and yet when I message, it’s just silence. Even when I clearly match what they’re looking for. I’m starting to feel like it might just be the fact that I’m a brown Indian guy and if that’s the reason people ignore, fair enough, but let’s call it what it is. I know some people have had bad experiences, but that shouldn’t reflect on all of us. I’m respectful, clean, well-spoken, work in IT, and just trying to find like-minded people like everyone else here. Not writing this to rant just to share how I’ve been feeling. Used to really like the idea of this site, but now I’m just kind of disheartened. Still hopeful, still open to chatting if someone does relate to this or just wants to talk properly. Cheers, Ram " “Call it what it is”. I’m confused - what is it ? | |||
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"We see you’ve posted similar threads in the past few weeks. Have you bothered to take any of the advice given? " Hey, appreciate you taking the time to respond. Just to clarify my profile picture is visible and clearly shows my face, no blur. I’ve also added more pics in the “only friends” section for transparency. And whenever I message someone, I always introduce myself properly and mention that I’m an Indian gent I believe in being upfront and honest. And yes, I’ve definitely taken the advice given in past threads. I updated my profile, added verified pics, became a supporter, and made an effort to tailor every message I send based on each user’s bio. Still, the silence or instant rejection can feel discouraging, especially when you’re putting in effort to be respectful and genuine. Just sharing my experience not here to rant or stir things up. I’m still learning and trying to stay positive. Thanks again. | |||
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"Hey all, So, I’ve been on Fab for about 6 weeks now. Not really a newbie anymore, and I’ve honestly been giving it a proper go updated my profile, added proper pics (with a bit of privacy of course), got photo verified, became a site supporter basically trying to do things the right way. I’ve sent out more than 50 messages, mostly to local users, always respectful and based on their bios no copy-paste, no dick pics, just me saying hi and trying to start a real convo. A few asked for face pics, and I sent them. Some mention needing verification from other users fair enough, but if no one gives new people a chance, how is that even possible? Out of all those messages, maybe 2 replied, and even those didn’t really go anywhere. It’s been frustrating, especially when I see profile statuses that say “looking for quickie,” “local FWB,” or “regular fun nearby” and yet when I message, it’s just silence. Even when I clearly match what they’re looking for. I’m starting to feel like it might just be the fact that I’m a brown Indian guy and if that’s the reason people ignore, fair enough, but let’s call it what it is. I know some people have had bad experiences, but that shouldn’t reflect on all of us. I’m respectful, clean, well-spoken, work in IT, and just trying to find like-minded people like everyone else here. Not writing this to rant just to share how I’ve been feeling. Used to really like the idea of this site, but now I’m just kind of disheartened. Still hopeful, still open to chatting if someone does relate to this or just wants to talk properly. Cheers, Ram “Call it what it is”. I’m confused - what is it ? " Thanks for the feedback. What I meant is after genuinely trying to connect with people, and I mention in nearly every message that I’m an Indian gent. being open about who I am, and still being ignored or dismissed, it feels like race might be part of the reason. I’m not here to cause drama, just sharing my experience and hoping for fairness and understanding. That’s all. | |||
"Can’t be soo sensitive dude, it’s the same for all of us guys " 6 weeks your being very optimistic 6 months your fairly optimistic 6 years well your choice. | |||
"Your profile pic is a small avatar….. but as long as you’re happy that’s all that matters. Best of luck. " Thanks for your reply fair point about the avatar. I’ve now made sure my profile pic is clearer, and I also have proper face pics in my friends-only gallery for anyone genuinely interested. I appreciate the good wishes, and yeah, just trying to stay positive and hopeful. 😊 | |||
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"What were your expectations on joining and in what way have they not been met? " That’s a fair question, thanks for asking. When I joined, my expectation was just to connect with like-minded people, have good conversations, and maybe build towards some respectful, real-life encounters over time nothing pushy or instant. I knew it wouldn’t be easy, but I didn’t expect to be completely ignored so often, especially after putting in effort to read bios, tailor my messages, and be upfront and respectful. It’s not about entitlement, just a bit of frustration when genuine effort doesn’t seem to be noticed. Still, I’m learning as I go and trying to stay positive. | |||
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"What were your expectations on joining and in what way have they not been met? That’s a fair question, thanks for asking. When I joined, my expectation was just to connect with like-minded people, have good conversations, and maybe build towards some respectful, real-life encounters over time nothing pushy or instant. I knew it wouldn’t be easy, but I didn’t expect to be completely ignored so often, especially after putting in effort to read bios, tailor my messages, and be upfront and respectful. It’s not about entitlement, just a bit of frustration when genuine effort doesn’t seem to be noticed. Still, I’m learning as I go and trying to stay positive." It's possible for you to achieve that but over a much longer period than 6 weeks. Good luck | |||
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"Hey all, So, I’ve been on Fab for about 6 weeks now. Not really a newbie anymore, and I’ve honestly been giving it a proper go updated my profile, added proper pics (with a bit of privacy of course), got photo verified, became a site supporter basically trying to do things the right way. I’ve sent out more than 50 messages, mostly to local users, always respectful and based on their bios no copy-paste, no dick pics, just me saying hi and trying to start a real convo. A few asked for face pics, and I sent them. Some mention needing verification from other users fair enough, but if no one gives new people a chance, how is that even possible? Out of all those messages, maybe 2 replied, and even those didn’t really go anywhere. It’s been frustrating, especially when I see profile statuses that say “looking for quickie,” “local FWB,” or “regular fun nearby” and yet when I message, it’s just silence. Even when I clearly match what they’re looking for. I’m starting to feel like it might just be the fact that I’m a brown Indian guy and if that’s the reason people ignore, fair enough, but let’s call it what it is. I know some people have had bad experiences, but that shouldn’t reflect on all of us. I’m respectful, clean, well-spoken, work in IT, and just trying to find like-minded people like everyone else here. Not writing this to rant just to share how I’ve been feeling. Used to really like the idea of this site, but now I’m just kind of disheartened. Still hopeful, still open to chatting if someone does relate to this or just wants to talk properly. Cheers, Ram " Yeah putting it out on forums I don’t feel helps there’s one of these every day ! Try Participate in the forums you get to know people easier | |||
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"No public pics means we wouldn't even reply. We don't add people as friends just to see pics - for every single guy with no pics, there are 99 others with pics. Clubs and socials - get some face to face verifications then we'd know that you do leave the house and meet people, not just sit at home getting excited at the idea of a meet then not show - which is genuinely 75% of our arranged meets that don't have verifications." | |||
"Thank you so much for the suggestions, my dear fellow Fabbers! I really appreciate it and it honestly made me feel good. I’ve already made some updates to my profile, changed my profile picture, and reshaped my bio based on the feedback. Once again, thank you all. Happy Fabbing! 😊" Have you? Because all it tells me is that you're looking a woman between 18 - 99 to give you a blow job 
Also it's worth taking on board what Obi said. You cannot know that you're exactly what someone is looking for. You might at best fit their basic criteria but that's all. There are other things to factor in, such as attraction. | |||
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"There are 100 male profiles to every (real) female one." That's being generous too lol. It's the same everywhere you go now, regardless of app or site. Problem usually starts off with the mentality that because you (they) made a profile, that every lady will be chomping at the bit to chat. Unless certain settings are in place, most ladies can potentially receive hundreds of messages per day. I've tested this in the past by creating a female account on a site I used to frequent. Not on Fab, I must mention. That account received over 300 messages in less than 12 hours. 😐 The majority of which were variants of "Fancy a fuck?" without even a basic friendly greeting lol. I've heard it's not too dissimilar here, at least with the large amount of daily/weekly messages. Take into account how much time would be needed to open, read and reply/delete/block to every message, each day. It's almost a full-time job. Then factor life into that equation. Partners, children, jobs, hobbies, social life, chores and such. If they're regularly busy (as I would imagine most are), the chances of them getting anywhere near one person's message in the pile, is likely very small. All that is long before you even consider preferences, enthusiasm, vibe, mood, availability, free time. It's crazy for the ladies, everywhere you go, purely based on the volume of messages. Food for thought, while people are getting frustrated at no responses. Especially after just a few weeks. In "Fab Time" that is barely scratching the surface for time needed to be considered that you've been here ages. Just keep at it. Take a break when you feel frustrated or annoyed. I've vanished two or three times now, when the novelty wears off and I'm tired of the effort required. It is what you make of it, in every sense of the word. You're in control of your time here. If it's bad, nothing is forcing you to stay and endure it. Sometimes a break can be exactly what is needed, even after a short amount of time. 😄 | |||
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"Honestly, if someone winks or messages us and they don't have any public pics, we aren't going to bother." 100% agree. Public pics atleast give the initial impression someone ticks our boxes. | |||
