FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > After a bad meet...
After a bad meet...
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I had a bad experience from here, Infact it's twice now that meeting men from this site has resulted in women messaging my business with abuse. One being a wife I didn't know about and another being a women off here.
I try not to share my real identity and I never disclose my location. I have a seperate number, but things like hotel check ins etc reveal my identity.
Now I just feel exhausted and honestly a bit scared to meet new people.
How do you overcome the crazy threats ? How do you get yourself back out there? I just have no confidence at all now.
Honestly I never thought a swingers site would result in such stress. I thought the whole point was to be no strings attached? |
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You haven't done anything wrong. If they've lied to their partner and decided to be unfaithful that's on them. You can vet everyone on here as much as you want but a liar is a liar! I'm sorry you've had this experience but don't let it knock your confidence. I hope you find more honest play partners and are able to enjoy yourself again. Stay safe and have fun x |
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"How did the women find your ID and business? "
She is on here and is " best friends" with the guy I had met on here. He told her my name and busy without consent.
They been asked never to contact me again.
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"How did the women find your ID and business?
She is on here and is " best friends" with the guy I had met on here. He told her my name and busy without consent.
They been asked never to contact me again.
"
But the wife? Did her husband tell heer? |
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"How did the women find your ID and business?
She is on here and is " best friends" with the guy I had met on here. He told her my name and busy without consent.
They been asked never to contact me again.
But the wife? Did her husband tell heer? "
My business is the same as my name, so once he found my name out he found my work. He started to send me flowers and gifts to my workplace.
Eventually he sent things to my home, which meant he had followed me home.
His wife found me on my business socials as he had sent perfume to my business from her online shop.
It was a fucking mess. |
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"Contacting people off Fab is crappy. You obviously left a big enough impression with the guy for his "friend" to be that triggered"
Oh well there's more to it. Apparently she was sending messages to me pretending to be him, saying he didn't want to see me again. Then again he could be lying about that. Doesn't really add up because he wanted to carry on seeing me after that.
I agree she was definitely triggered by something.
I pointed out that I think their " platonic " friendship might not be platonic on both sides for such a drastic reaction. |
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"How did the women find your ID and business?
She is on here and is " best friends" with the guy I had met on here. He told her my name and busy without consent.
They been asked never to contact me again.
But the wife? Did her husband tell heer?
My business is the same as my name, so once he found my name out he found my work. He started to send me flowers and gifts to my workplace.
Eventually he sent things to my home, which meant he had followed me home.
His wife found me on my business socials as he had sent perfume to my business from her online shop.
It was a fucking mess. "
Omg OP, this is a terrible experience for you, so he began to stalk you too by sending things to your home even though you never gave him your address & he has a wife too that you knew nothing about Omg 🤔  🤔
None of this is your fault whatsoever, He's very very much at fault - he's the instigator for all this grief you are experiencing.
I so hope they lay off you, & be sure to let his wife know that you had absolutely no knowledge of him being married, you're the innocent party here. |
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"Sounds like you just been unlucky and encountered a pair of crazies. I think your right and have inadvertently played Cupid in a round about way lol"
Yeah definitely, they are both in York and have reported them to Fab, so atleast they can't see my profile and I shouldn't ever bump into them by chance. Hopefully they realise how they feel for each other and stop dragging innocent parties into it.
:/ |
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"How did the women find your ID and business?
She is on here and is " best friends" with the guy I had met on here. He told her my name and busy without consent.
They been asked never to contact me again.
But the wife? Did her husband tell heer?
My business is the same as my name, so once he found my name out he found my work. He started to send me flowers and gifts to my workplace.
Eventually he sent things to my home, which meant he had followed me home.
His wife found me on my business socials as he had sent perfume to my business from her online shop.
It was a fucking mess.
Omg OP, this is a terrible experience for you, so he began to stalk you too by sending things to your home even though you never gave him your address & he has a wife too that you knew nothing about Omg 🤔 🤔
None of this is your fault whatsoever, He's very very much at fault - he's the instigator for all this grief you are experiencing.
I so hope they lay off you, & be sure to let his wife know that you had absolutely no knowledge of him being married, you're the innocent party here."
Thank you. Yeah it's really knocked me tbh. I'm probably just attracted to nutters.
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"If it goes on contact the police over it as it is stalking They are broadminded over this"
I did contact the police about the married guy and they weren't great. They said that he isn't breaking the law sending me gifts.
:/
As for the other two, they haven't contacted me again so hopefully I don't have to take it further. |
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By *irsSubCouple 4 weeks ago
Darlington |
"Sounds like you just been unlucky and encountered a pair of crazies. I think your right and have inadvertently played Cupid in a round about way lol
Yeah definitely, they are both in York and have reported them to Fab, so atleast they can't see my profile and I shouldn't ever bump into them by chance. Hopefully they realise how they feel for each other and stop dragging innocent parties into it.
:/"
It happens to the best of us, in a previous life me and my ex wife were outed as swingers on the school WhatsApp group. Although I will say I've always gotten a lot of attention from the mums on the playground. |
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In 15 years here and more swinging, I've only had a couple of negative experiences that are similar. An option for becoming more hidden, is to look well away from your home and to book hotels under multiple names - if you do add your own, it could be as an additional guest, so the main booking family name is different from your own.
I agree with another poster, that it's definitely worth using the police, without hesitation, should tothers' become troublesome. |
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If your business is traceable from your name, use a fake name. You don't need to tell anyone your real name. Use hotels - they won't reveal any details about you or your name you booked with. Also, don't use any photos here you've used any where else - reverse image search is a thing.
Sorry you had such a crap experience. Don't let it put you off what you want to do. |
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Sorry to hear this, it's awful and most definitely not your fault
And don't let it put you off,
In future get anyone you are meeting to book the hotel, to be fair I would never ask the woman to book the hotel |
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By *ucka39Man 4 weeks ago
Newcastle |
Sorry to hear your awful experience
There is a saying never to use similar information that connects with not only personal information but also from other sites or apps a person may use even down to profile name and email/password because that's how in general hackers are able to collect information and cause havoc |
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"Sorry to hear this, it's awful and most definitely not your fault
And don't let it put you off,
In future get anyone you are meeting to book the hotel, to be fair I would never ask the woman to book the hotel"
I appreciate that and have done that in the past but then they've asked for car reg and details etc for parking reasons etc |
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By *lowupdollTV/TS 4 weeks ago
Herts/Beds/Leeds/London |
Check in to the hotel first. If you arrive together or he arrives before you check in, ask him to wait in the bar while you do. I always tell reception not to say my personal details aloud ill show them my booking info on my phone |
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I would say that if something is putting you at risk then it's time to stop or radically change how you're doing things. It doesn't matter how enjoyable it is when the possible downside starts to impact you badly it stops being worth it. |
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By *bi HaiveMan 4 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
It's honestly not that tricky to maintain a degree of separation between the Fab you and the real you.
It's hard to track someone down from just a first name, so don't tell them your surname. It's difficult to know who you work for or your own business details if you don't divulge them. Job chat can be vague easily enough.
Re hotels...check in alone. No issue with someone overhearing details or car registrations.
Keep photos separate on here from elsewhere online, be that vanilla social media or work sites.
People only know what you tell them and it's down to individual choice how much personal info you divulge and with who. Only good friends on here know my full name, address and what I do for a living. Anyone I meet at clubs or socials gets the basic details, not my full life history.
Sometimes we're our own worst enemies when chatting to complete strangers. Not revealing all is generally the best approach to take. |
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"It's honestly not that tricky to maintain a degree of separation between the Fab you and the real you.
It's hard to track someone down from just a first name, so don't tell them your surname. It's difficult to know who you work for or your own business details if you don't divulge them. Job chat can be vague easily enough.
Re hotels...check in alone. No issue with someone overhearing details or car registrations.
Keep photos separate on here from elsewhere online, be that vanilla social media or work sites.
People only know what you tell them and it's down to individual choice how much personal info you divulge and with who. Only good friends on here know my full name, address and what I do for a living. Anyone I meet at clubs or socials gets the basic details, not my full life history.
Sometimes we're our own worst enemies when chatting to complete strangers. Not revealing all is generally the best approach to take. "
I appreciate this, however my first name is very unique, and is the name of my business. I have started to use a fake name. I use a fake location and don't discuss my job.
The give away is things like hotel check ins.
Either way, people should respect people's boundaries and not give out someone's private information without consent.
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By (user no longer on site) 4 weeks ago
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"It's honestly not that tricky to maintain a degree of separation between the Fab you and the real you.
It's hard to track someone down from just a first name, so don't tell them your surname. It's difficult to know who you work for or your own business details if you don't divulge them. Job chat can be vague easily enough.
Re hotels...check in alone. No issue with someone overhearing details or car registrations.
Keep photos separate on here from elsewhere online, be that vanilla social media or work sites.
People only know what you tell them and it's down to individual choice how much personal info you divulge and with who. Only good friends on here know my full name, address and what I do for a living. Anyone I meet at clubs or socials gets the basic details, not my full life history.
Sometimes we're our own worst enemies when chatting to complete strangers. Not revealing all is generally the best approach to take.
I appreciate this, however my first name is very unique, and is the name of my business. I have started to use a fake name. I use a fake location and don't discuss my job.
The give away is things like hotel check ins.
Either way, people should respect people's boundaries and not give out someone's private information without consent.
"
Sorry that you have had this horrible experience! |
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"It's honestly not that tricky to maintain a degree of separation between the Fab you and the real you.
It's hard to track someone down from just a first name, so don't tell them your surname. It's difficult to know who you work for or your own business details if you don't divulge them. Job chat can be vague easily enough.
Re hotels...check in alone. No issue with someone overhearing details or car registrations.
Keep photos separate on here from elsewhere online, be that vanilla social media or work sites.
People only know what you tell them and it's down to individual choice how much personal info you divulge and with who. Only good friends on here know my full name, address and what I do for a living. Anyone I meet at clubs or socials gets the basic details, not my full life history.
Sometimes we're our own worst enemies when chatting to complete strangers. Not revealing all is generally the best approach to take. "
Yep, this exactly. |
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By *bi HaiveMan 4 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"It's honestly not that tricky to maintain a degree of separation between the Fab you and the real you.
It's hard to track someone down from just a first name, so don't tell them your surname. It's difficult to know who you work for or your own business details if you don't divulge them. Job chat can be vague easily enough.
Re hotels...check in alone. No issue with someone overhearing details or car registrations.
Keep photos separate on here from elsewhere online, be that vanilla social media or work sites.
People only know what you tell them and it's down to individual choice how much personal info you divulge and with who. Only good friends on here know my full name, address and what I do for a living. Anyone I meet at clubs or socials gets the basic details, not my full life history.
Sometimes we're our own worst enemies when chatting to complete strangers. Not revealing all is generally the best approach to take.
I appreciate this, however my first name is very unique, and is the name of my business. I have started to use a fake name. I use a fake location and don't discuss my job.
The give away is things like hotel check ins.
Either way, people should respect people's boundaries and not give out someone's private information without consent.
"
Oh I agree completely. Indiscretion is both disrespectful and just plain rude.
I spent years on here initially as a single and then a couple using a fake name. These days it matters a lot less and I'm fortunate that my first name isn't in any way unusual, so less bothered about it.
But I'm still careful with anything identifiable, such as face photos, tattoos, and discussing personal info too much. There will always be a risk that even with those you initially trust things can go bad. All you can do is hope they won't be a twat about things. 🤞🤞 |
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Couple bad experiences but don’t let it ruin your fun.
Although I can see how it would.
But yeah you’re on right track. Fake name. Make them pay for hotel etc etc.
But also I’d imagine most people on here aren’t weirdos who’ll do things to ruin your experience.
Don’t let it get you down.
Maybe go on a couple awful hinge dates to make this place feel better  |
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Sorry to hear about your problems, unfortunately at times this lifestyle does attract some ‘headcases’.
As a cuck couple we’ve found younger single guys just too clingy and the problems that go with it, so we’ve ended up with Dee mostly playing with married bulls or more mature bulls that are more sensible.
Again, the married thing causes us a few issues as we know very few tell their wives, if at all, but they are less likely to cause scenes and it’s about doing a ‘bulls job’.
It’s a minefield at time, but personal and business attacks are wrong ! |
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It's a tough scene, made better with the right practises and development of spidey senses. But not fool proof.
Like others have said try clubs. They are less drama and sort of exist in a different dimension from the outside universe. Where you can fulfil your desires care free as just another anonymous person.
Years ago I recommend FAB to a freind of mine. She was looking for a bit more sex and we were 300 miles apart so a bit too far for regular booty calls. She may have gone into a bit naively. Her first meet was a disaster. He was a tool, made feel used and fucked off. It was consensual but she was annoyed she didn't follow her gut and pressured by him and her self to just get it done. She subsequently decided fab was not for her and left the site. I feel so guilty because it was my suggestion and I could have maybe done more to advise her (although she didn't ask for any). However happy ending, she's now married to a lovely gent she adores.
Mr |
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