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Overcoming 'cheating' worry
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Sorry if this has already been answered many times...
Me and my partner have been together 15 years, we have a lovely relationship and we're very adventurous sexually.
She knows that I have a real fascination with the idea of watching her get fucked by a hot younger guy or a BBC, I'm very honest with her about wanting to try it.
The issue is that she feels that even though she has my full permission, she feels that after the meet she'd feel like she had cheated on me (I've tried to assure her that this would not be the case)
I know she likes hot guys, she tells me when she finds someone up our rugby club hot and I love hearing it.
If there's any advice for getting around this hurdle, I'd be grateful ❤️ |
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People often rely on their gut instincts and it sounds like she knows how she would react emotionally. Even with reasoning, it's unlikely that she would feel comfortable. Preserving emotional well-being is essential |
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There isn't unfortunately op.
You've told her several times by the sound of it and she hasn't wanted to act on it, so isn't really interested .
Take the hint and don't keep bringing it up, swinging isn't for everyone. |
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This seems to be just a fantasy of yours. Are you sure this is for her or just for you (make you feel ok about being on here).
Does she know you're on here; have you been honest about that? Have you discussed the fact that you're a swinger or at least a wannabe swinger?
If you can be totally honest with her that will help. From my experience being a swinger is better together than without consent. |
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By *uvs2snogMan 1 day ago
Now living in Spain - Vistabella |
We have a similar scenario- she has said she doesn’t want another man to join us however during sex she has fantasised a few times about another woman joining us and the two of them going down on each other infront of me
I love the sound of this - but I know she isn’t comfortable with ‘sharing’ me and hence we haven’t taken it further
So for now it’s fantasy fun |
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By *en_kMan 1 day ago
North West |
It suited my now ex wife and me, but with my ex gf we tried and it ruined our relationship. It seems like your partner is telling you how it would make her feel, so best listen. The reality in your head isn’t the salient point. How she feels is.
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This is the difference between horn/porn and emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence is the buzz phrase these days on all the female dating profiles. Men by and large don't get it. We simply are not wired that way. Age old men from mars women from Venus. If you are an intelligent enough guy you can understand the female mind enough to roll with it. |
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"This is the difference between horn/porn and emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence is the buzz phrase these days on all the female dating profiles. Men by and large don't get it. We simply are not wired that way. Age old men from mars women from Venus. If you are an intelligent enough guy you can understand the female mind enough to roll with it. "
You don't need to understand women's minds (it's not difficult anyway but that's another conversation) you just need to understand that you need to accept her concerns and ' I'm reluctant to do that because I would feel like I was cheating' is a full and final answer. |
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Its incredibly common for one person to lead a journey when they are a couple to follow their fantasy.....and its just that, theirs.
Does she also have an account on here OP? Or is it just you researching. |
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"Sorry if this has already been answered many times...
Me and my partner have been together 15 years, we have a lovely relationship and we're very adventurous sexually.
She knows that I have a real fascination with the idea of watching her get fucked by a hot younger guy or a BBC, I'm very honest with her about wanting to try it.
The issue is that she feels that even though she has my full permission, she feels that after the meet she'd feel like she had cheated on me (I've tried to assure her that this would not be the case)
I know she likes hot guys, she tells me when she finds someone up our rugby club hot and I love hearing it.
If there's any advice for getting around this hurdle, I'd be grateful ❤️"
Do you think this is quite selfish of you |
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I believe you are being very selfish, you have joined this site looking for a guy to fuck your wife when she hasn’t agreed, this is your fantasy not hers, she has told you she would think of it as cheating even though you would know, does she know you are on a swinging site and are open to cheating on her?
Mrs |
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As everyone else is being a bit preachy, I'll try and answer the question. I don't think trying to develop something you can enjoy doing together is inherently wrong.
But the very last thing you want is for her to do it to "make you happy". It's likely to be a disaster, and there's a good chance it will take your relationship with it.
So the real question is how to make it something that she wants to do? For a start, you have to keep it fun. If you constantly tell her that you're happy for her to take things further, then she's going to feel pressurised, and it will never happen. Far better to tell her that you totally respect her feelings and you're happy for it to remain a fantasy, but if she ever changes her mind then let you know.
It probably won't ever happen, but your only chance is to make her feel respected and trusted, and that she can trust you not to push her into something she doesn't want. And even if it doesn't work, if you do all that you'll have a pretty good relationship anyway.
Oh, and delete your profile from here... |
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This feeling of cheating is very common as it was mentioned by a lot of ladies in potential relationships.
I have I've previously been in two cuckold relationship , the second one was cuckold from day one , me wanting a cuckold lifestyle put off many a potential partner.
If You have tried several times to ease her worries and it hasn't worked I'm not sure you will ever be successful and continuing to try will just damage your relationship.
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"Sorry if this has already been answered many times...
Me and my partner have been together 15 years, we have a lovely relationship and we're very adventurous sexually.
She knows that I have a real fascination with the idea of watching her get fucked by a hot younger guy or a BBC, I'm very honest with her about wanting to try it.
The issue is that she feels that even though she has my full permission, she feels that after the meet she'd feel like she had cheated on me (I've tried to assure her that this would not be the case)
I know she likes hot guys, she tells me when she finds someone up our rugby club hot and I love hearing it.
If there's any advice for getting around this hurdle, I'd be grateful ❤️"
Has she said she wants to have sex with another Man? If the answer is yes then a threesome would be less chance of drama. If the answer is no, then...Oh dear. |
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Imo it depends on what her actual response was. I mean how did she reply, was it a "no, I think that's cheating". Or an "I'm not so sure it still feels like cheating". Only you OP knows the context of her reply. I'm in the same boat but I've taken my wife's answer as a firm No. We have however role played the scenario which still ticked the thrill box for me and kept everything between us for her. Maybe that's the answer for you too? |
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no means no push it and then you'll just find cracks in your relationship..
and heres the thing if either of you worry about one of you running off then 100% your relationship is not for this scene.... 30 years on this scene and we have seen those not so strong couples fail you see them in clubs from time to time when they are swinging for the wrong reasons swinging will not fix relationships issues it will tear them apart so quickly some not so |
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so many guys come on here and then think they can change thier wives/girlfriends or other guys think oh i can find someone who would like to swing with me ermm its super hard because for one you need a solid relationship dont get me wrong some ladies do find guy via the scene and make it work but think about it you only hear of the few success storys but no one ever tells you of the fat many more fails |
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"so many guys come on here and then think they can change thier wives/girlfriends "
I think that's the point - it's pretty impossible to change someone, but by making them feel valued and trusted, and by convincing them that they can trust you, then they may just feel able to be the person they always were.
My view is that that would work for most people of either sex. People who are genuinely anti being appreciated are pretty rare. So the difficult thing is not finding the right person, but making them feel secure enough. |
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"so many guys come on here and then think they can change thier wives/girlfriends
I think that's the point - it's pretty impossible to change someone, but by making them feel valued and trusted, and by convincing them that they can trust you, then they may just feel able to be the person they always were.
My view is that that would work for most people of either sex. People who are genuinely anti being appreciated are pretty rare. So the difficult thing is not finding the right person, but making them feel secure enough."
I think a lot of men make the mistake if thinking that women feel appreciated from having sex with multiple men.
Some do of course but very many don't and it's nothing to do with them becoming the person they always were and everything to do with them just not seeking validation that way. |
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"I think a lot of men make the mistake if thinking that women feel appreciated from having sex with multiple men.
Some do of course but very many don't and it's nothing to do with them becoming the person they always were and everything to do with them just not seeking validation that way. "
I'm a guy, so how would I know? But I do know that treating women with respect maximises you chances. |
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"I think a lot of men make the mistake if thinking that women feel appreciated from having sex with multiple men.
Some do of course but very many don't and it's nothing to do with them becoming the person they always were and everything to do with them just not seeking validation that way.
I'm a guy, so how would I know? But I do know that treating women with respect maximises you chances."
I can only agree with you on that |
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I think you have a porn fantasy that you'd like realised,and obviously your other half is far from keen on the idea emotionally....
From experience I'd be careful what you wish for,the act may appeal to you but she certainly isn't comfortable with it ... |
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