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Endless chat
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By (user no longer on site) OP 44 weeks ago
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Is it me or does this piss anyone else off? I completely understand you need to chat 5/10 even 15 messages to see if the person gels or is your type.
But needing essays or learning more about the person. I mean are people looking for a penpal?
Why not arrange a social or just say you’re not interested in the first place? |
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"100% agree, we’re here to meet not write love letters  don’t mind the odd chat with people we’ve met before but yeah would rather people just say if they’re not interested and move on"
We are the same,few messages then meet(where we can chat and see if we fit all together),not in to pen buddies or stories tellers |
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Funnily enough, its okay for people to like different things. Some people like longer conversations and some don't. Just look for people that like the same things as you.
Personally I'd rather spend longer talking to someone and getting to know them and that's okay too. |
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It can often take a bit of time to arrange a meet and we can't really judge chemistry till we've met in person. So we don't actually want to chat too long online before we meet. We tend to like just enough to gauge if we think there's compatibility and then simply ask can we save futher chat to when we meet in person (bar sorting the practical arrangements). To be fair most most people seem perfectly happy with this plan too. There's absolutely no point in chatting endlessly untill you've met in person. |
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For us, not only is it essential to have a nice bit of back and forth to see if there is chemistry and mutual interests, but it also exposes a lot of pushy people.
It doesn't usually take long before they start losing patience and becoming pushy.
And then we know we aren't compatible. |
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"For us, not only is it essential to have a nice bit of back and forth to see if there is chemistry and mutual interests, but it also exposes a lot of pushy people.
It doesn't usually take long before they start losing patience and becoming pushy.
And then we know we aren't compatible."
That for us I a big bonner killer. We struggle with the flexibility to arrange something. So it can take some time and we explain this. Pressure and being pushy is big no from us. Good things will happen when they're at everones speed. After all there's always other fish in the sea in the mean time for them any way. |
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By (user no longer on site) 43 weeks ago
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Piss us off? Nah far from it.
Given our vanilla life meets can be hard to arrangr and we tell people that from the off.
The ones that stick around and actually form a rapport will get to skip the social and come straight over for the fun.
But that's not to everyones taste and that is fair enough. |
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I prefer to chat and get to know people first, bit of chemistry/connection kinda feels better..
But that said, if someone just wanted to meet, id go with the flow.
The ones ive gotten to know by chatting, I actually see regularly |
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By (user no longer on site) 43 weeks ago
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Too much chat usually never leads to a meet.
So many talkers on here and couples are the worst offenders.
The serious ones will ask for a phone call usually.
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By (user no longer on site) 43 weeks ago
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it all depends on what the "10-15" messages contain.
Don't get p'd off just ignore them and save them and yourself wasted time
Why keep on chatting if you feel like that is what i would say - just saying. |
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Love long message exchanges! It’s definitely makes me likely to move up the meet too and I’m so wet just meeting them knowing all the things we’ve discussed and makes the sex epic because we each know what makes the other tick 🥵 |
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"I prefer the endless chit chat as you are learning more about them which adds to the connection/chemistry "
. Agree and people often give themselves away, when you've chatted a while.
If you expect meets after only a short while, be upfront about that, but don't expect that everyone will be happy doing that op.
Many will say on their bios if they want to meet relatively fast or expect a connection. |
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As a single guy, it can be difficult to gauge when to bring up meeting, unless the profiles are very clear about expectations.
If you bring it up too fast with the wrong, you'll just be labelled as someone who only cares about getting laid ASAP. Take too long, apparently you will be a timewaster. |
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By *ustBoWoman 43 weeks ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
I chat for a while before I meet anyone. The one time I didn't and met someone for a social turned out to be the worst and most dangerous meet I've had on here. So now when I'm meeting anyone new I chat for a while as I find people cannot keep up a facade for too long.
If that doesn't suit someone they can move along as I will never risk it again. |
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I'm a slow burn and I tend to chat for weeks and weeks, a month or several months, before looking to meet. Also, I'm not a swinger and I'm not looking for expedited meets - at least not until I've had the first social. I'm here for casual dates, socials and romantic trysts. |
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I want to feel safe if I'm meeting a complete stranger, and that means I need to know a bit about them and build some trust. Whether that's through chatting in messages or through a video call is largely dependent on how the vibe is from outset.
But one surefire way of having me backing out completely is pushing me to meet within a couple of messages! |
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By (user no longer on site) 43 weeks ago
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"Is it me or does this piss anyone else off? I completely understand you need to chat 5/10 even 15 messages to see if the person gels or is your type.
But needing essays or learning more about the person. I mean are people looking for a penpal?
Why not arrange a social or just say you’re not interested in the first place?"
Just put this in your bio: “Unless you’re willing to meet after a maximum of 10 messages, I’m not interested” That will definitely sort this issue out for you. You’re welcome!  |
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"Is it me or does this piss anyone else off? I completely understand you need to chat 5/10 even 15 messages to see if the person gels or is your type.
But needing essays or learning more about the person. I mean are people looking for a penpal?
Why not arrange a social or just say you’re not interested in the first place?"
A single woman is worried about her safety. Meeting a complete stranger even in a public place can be a daunting experience. Personally I prefer to chat for a while before agreeing to meet.
I'd be backing right off if someone was trying to push me into meeting after 5/10 messages. |
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By *am2025Man 43 weeks ago
Leigh/Wigan |
About 15 messages but ping pong texting and getting nowhere raises a red flag to me. I had up to 60 plus with someone still not met they have reported then as think its a male troll acting a female. |
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By (user no longer on site) 43 weeks ago
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"About 15 messages but ping pong texting and getting nowhere raises a red flag to me. I had up to 60 plus with someone still not met they have reported then as think its a male troll acting a female."
My guy, you’ve been here for three weeks... Also what makes you and your profile such a stand out that guys are gonna pretend to be women to catfish you? |
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By *am2025Man 43 weeks ago
Leigh/Wigan |
"About 15 messages but ping pong texting and getting nowhere raises a red flag to me. I had up to 60 plus with someone still not met they have reported then as think its a male troll acting a female.
My guy, you’ve been here for three weeks... Also what makes you and your profile such a stand out that guys are gonna pretend to be women to catfish you? "
I'm not new to the lifestyle been swinging about 15 years. Been on this site years back. Not said its anything to do with my profile . Was only given an opinion. On back and forth messaging. |
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By (user no longer on site) 43 weeks ago
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"About 15 messages but ping pong texting and getting nowhere raises a red flag to me. I had up to 60 plus with someone still not met they have reported then as think its a male troll acting a female.
My guy, you’ve been here for three weeks... Also what makes you and your profile such a stand out that guys are gonna pretend to be women to catfish you?
I'm not new to the lifestyle been swinging about 15 years. Been on this site years back. Not said its anything to do with my profile . Was only given an opinion. On back and forth messaging. "
Okey dokey |
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"For us, not only is it essential to have a nice bit of back and forth to see if there is chemistry and mutual interests, but it also exposes a lot of pushy people.
It doesn't usually take long before they start losing patience and becoming pushy.
And then we know we aren't compatible.
That for us I a big bonner killer. We struggle with the flexibility to arrange something. So it can take some time and we explain this. Pressure and being pushy is big no from us. Good things will happen when they're at everones speed. After all there's always other fish in the sea in the mean time for them any way."
Thats how we feel.
We can't help but feel if someone is going to rush chat and rush a meet, they may also be likely to rush the actual act of play and be selfish in the process.
Rushed play has a place (usually between people who know each others boundaries and turn ons very well) but typically it's far better to take your time and enjoy things rather than racing to orgasm. |
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"For us, not only is it essential to have a nice bit of back and forth to see if there is chemistry and mutual interests, but it also exposes a lot of pushy people.
It doesn't usually take long before they start losing patience and becoming pushy.
And then we know we aren't compatible."
This.  |
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