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Never been to swingers club
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Hey everyone…. Never been to swingers club or party. Part of me thinks will I be accepted and the other side like it’s not my kind of thing, if that makes sense.
I wanted to find out how was your first time!? How did it go? |
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By *ingh89Man 2 weeks ago
Birmingham |
"Hey everyone…. Never been to swingers club or party. Part of me thinks will I be accepted and the other side like it’s not my kind of thing, if that makes sense.
I wanted to find out how was your first time!? How did it go?"
I am in the exact same boat 😬 |
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We was very much intimidated by the idea so we reached out joined the group chat the hosts had where we got to mingle and chat to regulars beforehand
When we arrived everyone was nice and welcoming. |
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My first (Mr) was many years ago a single. I'd always wanted to experience the wider scene and meet like minded people. However I also realised how difficult it is for me in social situations in new environments. But also life is to short and if you never push yourself and see for yourself you always have that question/regret.
So one Saturday morning I just decided I'm going to do it and accept it may turn out to be a complete fail. So I booked a hotel nearby and by just after lunch I was on a train. The hardest thing was getting through the door. I just had to push on through. I was shown around and asked a few questions. This helped put me at ease. And then there I was, alone in a venue full of strangers all getting along. It was daunting. But in for a penny, in for a pound. So I pushed myself to strike up conversation, with different degrees of success. And I just enjoy going around soaking up the atmosphere and some really hot sights. Eventually I got chatting a lady and we got on well. The chatting and flirtation lead to bedroom and that was a end to a really difficult but fun and hot night. From then on I realised clubs are for me and never looked back as a single and then when in a couple (and still can/do go alone too).
I don't think you really know until you go. If you're at least part curious I say go, see, find out for yourself. It something different if nothing else and you may find you were missing out. Recommend a club/night where no membership is needed for your first time. Locally to me good calls would be say the Attic Derby or Newbie night on Thursday at the Naughty Pineapple Leicester. And it is challenging as a single guy in a club. I wouldn't say its easy at all. But the more experience you have of it and the more your face gets known (if for the right reasons) the easier it gets. We know certain regular guys on the club scene who do really well. And from the guys who do really well the common denominator is character above all else. Character and genuine human qualities are the secret weapon to success in clubs.
Mr |
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When we went a few years ago in Spain it was great at the start and all changed about 11 when they let loads of single lads in who were extremely pushy and wouldn’t take no for an answer
Left a bit of a sour taste
I’m sure there are lots of clubs out there who control the crowd better than that |
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Walked in decently dressed and was prompted to put belongings in locker. Then gave ID and paid fee and explained rules. Given a tour of the venue then went and sat in the lounge with cup of tea and watched BBC on the TV (there's a joke there somewhere) and afterwards had a chat with..somebody? Maybe the TV? |
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A club visit was highly recommended by the woman that introduced me to swinging and Fab. I went alone, was sat in the car in the Liberty Elite carpark for ages working up the courage to go in, could barely get my legs to work to get to the front door. Shaking hands trying to fill in my membership details… and then walked in… met by ‘normal’ smiling sexy people. Now clubs are my ‘third space’. I visit when I want social time, relaxation or a sexually charged environment, go with friends, go on my own. I love them (the good ones anyway) and enjoy the company of people that frequent them. |
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We've found the idea of "sex is never guaranteed" is closer to "sex with others is unlikely" when it comes to a club... it is what you make it, so we expect to play alone or soft swing with others in a club, but we have found 90% of couples want to socialise more than play
Next time we go, we will probably arrange a meet there through Fab so we know what to expect a bit more |
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My first club visit was to No.3 in Chorley. I was amazed to be able to park right outside the place on the street, and as soon as I put the handbrake on, I counted to 3, then jumped out of the car and almost ran to the big red door to ring the bell before I talked myself out of it.
I received a very friendly greeting by the owner, filled in the forms, paid my entry fee, then was given a rundown of the house rules, and a tour of the place. After that, I sat at the bar, had a drink, and chatted with the friendly bar staff, and a couple of the guests.
It wasn't a busy night, and my overriding impression of the experience was that it felt more like a Sunday afternoon in a working men's club, than what I imagined a Friday night in a swingers' club might be...
But I went, and I didn't die lol...  |
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I went to a BBW event years ago and it was far too busy plus boiling hot. It was less intimidating than I expected though and I met some great people. I’ve been a number of times since, not to BBW though as I prefer it a bit less hectic.
You need to go without the expectation of having any sex. Plus don’t touch without asking and receiving consent. On my last visit someone didn’t ask and that’s a big no no.
You’ll never know until you go, so give it a whirl. |
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Our first time wasn't great. Think we were not really ourselves, so decided to try again and see how we felt.
It will of course be different as a single guy.
Good luck OP if you decide to take the plunge 👍🏻 |
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Think of it as visiting a pub or club with people who have similar views to you.
The chances of sex could be lower than hooking up in a pub, but people are more open to discussion. Don't assume sex, don't follow people into room, just be normal, you won't walk into a room of nakedness and debauchery  |
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the more people there ie single men, the more of a chance of someone not getting the hint
go early, settle down - don'ttalk too much to someone intially, listen to them and you sort of get a good idea if the are genuine
the liars in our expereice come up to a couple and spout BS along in their chat".......my girl firnd/partner/wife is joing me later." that later never comes. Made me lol as i am not interested in other women as I'm a FT cuk |
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Try the social Heathrow. It's a social at a club.
First time was daunting going through the door as I went alone. 9 years later am still friends with people I met that night.
Try it. You might like it.
 |
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Think of it less about a time visit, as it's likely to be cost effective for a man of he picks the right club for him and invests time in visiting regularly and getting known by others.
Once settled in, you'll be more relaxed etc. Never expect sex on any visits, especially not your first.
If you can visit a pub, you can visit a swinging club. |
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My first was a swingers hotel I booked Fri night finishing work 7am on the train arrived at the hotel was met by a lady who explained everything she showed me the playing areas bars etc she walked up the stairs I was behind her she asked if I was looking up her very short skirt yes I am i replied good job I am wearing panties but I won’t be later on and smiled one rule if you’re door is open so you’re available for guest nice room as she was leaving she asked do you want me too close this door I replied no thanks I just unpacked nice day so putting shorts on the door opened a guy stood there he asked is everything is ok with the room my wife asked me to check I said well do you think it’s warm enough for shorts he replied well we are outside in the hot tub I don’t have any trunks he said that’s okay he said if you want to come down a beer in the fridge near the tub . I walked down outside beer 2 couples and him in the tub chatting he said get in just then his wife appears naked next to me I told you I won’t be wearing panties I stripped naked |
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And join them in the tub one female ask which sexy body do you like and they all started to stand all wet naked the guys were a little excited the owner asked are you more interested in licking or sucking I replied hopefully both we will have to see and the females said .then sat down and said suck on them cocks which I did as the female watched playing with each other beast mm and this was only the afternoon time |
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Our first club over 20 years ago, was Cupids. We drove up and down outside and eventually plucked up the courage to go in. We sat at the bar like quivering wrecks but told everyone who approached it was our first time, they took pity on us. Didn't play but returned the following week, still didn't play with anyone but played together in a group room, loved it.
From there, the rest is history.
We then had invites to private parties, pub meets and swingers holidays weekends away to other UK clubs and clubs abroad.
Be prepared to take your time, make sure you say hello and chat to as many people as possible. Couples are couples, not just the lady.
Don't become a limpet and most of all enjoy yourself, you will then join a very small group on FAB who are into swinging and not just chatting.
Good luck. |
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We have been going to clubs for a number of years now and still get some pre nerves. We enjoy that nervous feeling, it brings something to the night.
We still don’t go with the intention of playing with anyone else, unless we have set up a meet or two beforehand. We treat it as a night out, and we almost always have fun.
Treat it like going to the pub and you won’t go far wrong |
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By *host63Man 4 days ago
Bedfont Feltham |
Honestly you are not missing a thing
Yij can be on your best behavior as friendly as you like mutual as a single man you are invisible and most likely be ignored. And after paying your membership fee which will be twice that of a couple or single lady who will get in free for the dubious pleasure of feeling like shit.
Clubs are great if you are a couple and I would recommend it all day long. But if you are a single man you are better off getting out £100 pouring lighter fluid over it snd setting it on fire. |
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The guys who are successful at clubs generally go regularly so that they know people, and are the sort of guys who are happy to chat with anyone, male or female. Oh, and they generally look after themselves physically.
So is that you? If not, you can still go, but you have to accept that you'll be less successful. |
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"Honestly you are not missing a thing
Yij can be on your best behavior as friendly as you like mutual as a single man you are invisible and most likely be ignored. And after paying your membership fee which will be twice that of a couple or single lady who will get in free for the dubious pleasure of feeling like shit.
Clubs are great if you are a couple and I would recommend it all day long. But if you are a single man you are better off getting out £100 pouring lighter fluid over it snd setting it on fire."
My experiences have been very different to this. That's why I keep visiting clubs.
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"Honestly you are not missing a thing
Yij can be on your best behavior as friendly as you like mutual as a single man you are invisible and most likely be ignored. And after paying your membership fee which will be twice that of a couple or single lady who will get in free for the dubious pleasure of feeling like shit.
Clubs are great if you are a couple and I would recommend it all day long. But if you are a single man you are better off getting out £100 pouring lighter fluid over it snd setting it on fire."
I never got into a club for free as a single woman and I’ve been on the club scene for 20 years.
However, my dress, lingerie and shoes can each cost up to £100 per item. My nails cost £55. If I want to get my hair done in advance of a big event it costs upwards of £50.
Swings and roundabouts, eh? |
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"Hey everyone…. Never been to swingers club or party. Part of me thinks will I be accepted and the other side like it’s not my kind of thing, if that makes sense.
I wanted to find out how was your first time!? How did it go?"
Post on the forums when you intend to go. See if anybody else is going that night. Might make it easier knowing you will know somebody in there. I always say try it. If you don't like it you lost nothing. If you don't you will always wonder what if. |
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By *host63Man 3 days ago
Bedfont Feltham |
"The last and first time I went was a waste of money spent most of the night by myself and no one spoke to me tried to talk to people but on one spoke back "
And be charged double for the privilege of being treated like shit. I know exactly bowwyiu feel and I genuinely believe single men should avoid clubs.
|
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"The last and first time I went was a waste of money spent most of the night by myself and no one spoke to me tried to talk to people but on one spoke back
And be charged double for the privilege of being treated like shit. I know exactly bowwyiu feel and I genuinely believe single men should avoid clubs.
"
As I've said, I respectfully disagree. Having visited a lot of clubs up and down the UK, my experiences have been mixed, but in the majority, positive.
Pricing is very different up north.
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"The last and first time I went was a waste of money spent most of the night by myself and no one spoke to me tried to talk to people but on one spoke back
And be charged double for the privilege of being treated like shit. I know exactly bowwyiu feel and I genuinely believe single men should avoid clubs.
"
Yes, there are clubs that would charge men a lot of money to get in, as the owners know men would pay. However, there are clubs that charge very reasonable fees, so I'd advise doing a very good research before you step into the swingers club. Check the events, membership prices & requirements, entry prices etc. And, if the fees seem too excessive, vote with your feet and don't go. Not every single club/every single event would be suitable. For example, if you're not black, going to BMFC event is a bit pointless as the clients there would be looking for a very specific race (otherwise they'd attend a different night). Same goes to bi nights, in my opinion - don't go if a thought of seeing men getting it on puts you off. |
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By *os19Man 3 days ago
Edmonton |
"Honestly you are not missing a thing
Yij can be on your best behavior as friendly as you like mutual as a single man you are invisible and most likely be ignored. And after paying your membership fee which will be twice that of a couple or single lady who will get in free for the dubious pleasure of feeling like shit.
Clubs are great if you are a couple and I would recommend it all day long. But if you are a single man you are better off getting out £100 pouring lighter fluid over it snd setting it on fire."
. As a single guy who occasionally attends OP4F I pay £40 for a Tuesday night , £60 for a for a Friday night .Yes clubs can be hard work for a single guy especially for me in my late 50’s.As long as I have had a good night out and any adult fun is a bonus then I would rather spend my money on a night out than set it on fire. |
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By *os19Man 3 days ago
Edmonton |
My first club experience must have been about 20 - 25 years ago. Club Lick in Walthamstow in East London.I used to go one a month on a Saturday.I met some nice couples and always had a good time. |
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"As long as I have had a good night out and any adult fun is a bonus then I would rather spend my money on a night out than set it on fire."
I think this is exactly the right attitude. If you know that you'll enjoy yourself whatever does or doesn't happen then you're more likely to end up playing.
If you're only going for the sex, then you probably won't get it. |
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"Hey everyone…. Never been to swingers club or party. Part of me thinks will I be accepted and the other side like it’s not my kind of thing, if that makes sense.
I wanted to find out how was your first time!? How did it go?"
I think it's worth going and see what you think. It doesn't come that naturally to me either tbh. I would go again but I'm not gagging to go again really soon. The occasional visit will suit me fine.
Try it you might like it.. |
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"Honestly you are not missing a thing
Yij can be on your best behavior as friendly as you like mutual as a single man you are invisible and most likely be ignored. And after paying your membership fee which will be twice that of a couple or single lady who will get in free for the dubious pleasure of feeling like shit.
Clubs are great if you are a couple and I would recommend it all day long. But if you are a single man you are better off getting out £100 pouring lighter fluid over it snd setting it on fire.
I never got into a club for free as a single woman and I’ve been on the club scene for 20 years.
However, my dress, lingerie and shoes can each cost up to £100 per item. My nails cost £55. If I want to get my hair done in advance of a big event it costs upwards of £50.
Swings and roundabouts, eh? "
Try Club Shhh in Newcastle; you can get free entry there as a single woman…..
Can I ask what you spend on a vanilla going out occasion? Or do you simply throw any old thing on, and “they’ll just have to accept my hair and nails as they are”?
As you’re not interested in meeting single guys, your comments aren’t exactly valid to the OP… |
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"Honestly you are not missing a thing
Yij can be on your best behavior as friendly as you like mutual as a single man you are invisible and most likely be ignored. And after paying your membership fee which will be twice that of a couple or single lady who will get in free for the dubious pleasure of feeling like shit.
Clubs are great if you are a couple and I would recommend it all day long. But if you are a single man you are better off getting out £100 pouring lighter fluid over it snd setting it on fire.
I never got into a club for free as a single woman and I’ve been on the club scene for 20 years.
However, my dress, lingerie and shoes can each cost up to £100 per item. My nails cost £55. If I want to get my hair done in advance of a big event it costs upwards of £50.
Swings and roundabouts, eh?
Try Club Shhh in Newcastle; you can get free entry there as a single woman…..
Can I ask what you spend on a vanilla going out occasion? Or do you simply throw any old thing on, and “they’ll just have to accept my hair and nails as they are”?
As you’re not interested in meeting single guys, your comments aren’t exactly valid to the OP…"
As the post I quoted talked about the cost for single men vs the cost for single women, and I spent 20 attending clubs as a single woman looking to meet single men, I’d say I have a right of reply. Oh hang on, it’s also an open forum!
When I go out for a vanilla night, I’m not looking to stand out in a crowd of up to 200+ and attract the initial attention of people I’m potentially attracted to. I don’t generally wax as I won’t be walking around semi naked and am less worried about what lingerie I’m wearing under my dress as it won’t be out for public consumption later. |
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Its very difficult for a single at clubs. The best thing to do is if you have any clubs near by to you or far enough for yoj to travel.that have newbie social events is the best for you. At least you are easing yourself in. |
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