FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Am I being TOO harsh on members?
Am I being TOO harsh on members?
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By (user no longer on site) OP 38 weeks ago
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Over 12 months ago, I'd had enough of the unsolicited "friends" requests. So I
block all of them.
Is that too harsh?
The reason I do this, IMO is becsue I feel they may just want to look at our "friends only pics." I may be wrong but it is how I feel and Mrs L agrees with me. |
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People on my friends list I've actually met or talk to in real life. There are those that feel entitled to see friends pictures or add you as a friend as a way of getting your attention. Nothing wrong with blocking. X |
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We tend to drop a message and say we don’t accept from people we haven’t either met in person or had a good chat to here beforehand.
If the response is favourable there is a chance they may get added down the line if it is not/there isn’t one we will block. |
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"Over 12 months ago, I'd had enough of the unsolicited "friends" requests. So I
block all of them.
Is that too harsh?
The reason I do this, IMO is becsue I feel they may just want to look at our "friends only pics." I may be wrong but it is how I feel and Mrs L agrees with me."
I do exactly the same. I guess between 10/20 a day. Despite asking not to on the profile, and often in a status update. Winds me up.  |
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"Over 12 months ago, I'd had enough of the unsolicited "friends" requests. So I
block all of them.
Is that too harsh?
The reason I do this, IMO is because I feel they may just want to look at our "friends only pics." I may be wrong but it is how I feel and Mrs L agrees with me."
No, you control how things work for you. That's all that matters. No-one can tell you how to feel about things, so do what's best and most comfortable for you. Personally I'd never simply send a friends request unless I knew someone well enough face to face - and would ask if it was welcome first. As a single guy the only 'comfortable' way to do it is to wait until a woman or couple decide they're happy to add each other. For me it's a part of the trust process and of being a high value man and establishing me as an individual.
You do you! |
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"I have a VERY short friends list & that's because that is what they are. Friends that I've met. Like yourselves, I delete all others. End of the day it's your account so just do what suits you .  "
Exactly this! |
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By *i versMan 38 weeks ago
Kirkcaldy |
"Over 12 months ago, I'd had enough of the unsolicited "friends" requests. So I
block all of them.
Is that too harsh?
The reason I do this, IMO is becsue I feel they may just want to look at our "friends only pics." I may be wrong but it is how I feel and Mrs L agrees with me."
and so what if they do, you have pics up for a reasons don't you, for people to see them. Alot of people don't make sense on here and are also alot of liars that just picture collect |
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We tend to buck the trend on this thread and will send a friend request after a message or two, or even in place of a wink.
For us it's a way to filter messages for those we want to contact, and as we like to see face pics before messaging too much to see if we like them. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 38 weeks ago
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"Over 12 months ago, I'd had enough of the unsolicited "friends" requests. So I
block all of them.
Is that too harsh?
The reason I do this, IMO is becsue I feel they may just want to look at our "friends only pics." I may be wrong but it is how I feel and Mrs L agrees with me. and so what if they do, you have pics up for a reasons don't you, for people to see them. Alot of people don't make sense on here and are also alot of liars that just picture collect"
Are you sure you are on the correct thread as what you have posted does not relate to what I said.
Cheers |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 38 weeks ago
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I see, many can see my point of view and practice it and reasons why they may block or not, thanks.
Many have talked about "friends list" - we have 4/5 and only one of them keeps in contact or more likle I do - as IMO, once we have met oand or chatted, there is not a lot more to say unless one is very active here and we are not as Mrs is not up to it, ie our age.
I guess the bottom line, do as you see fit but on reading the comments here, I feel less guilty on imediately blocking them, especially those with no messages or just a "hi, I'd like to know bit more about you" type of message -
Others I block is where they blantly claim they have read our profile but have not
Enjoy your day -  |
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"Over 12 months ago, I'd had enough of the unsolicited "friends" requests. So I
block all of them.
Is that too harsh?
The reason I do this, IMO is becsue I feel they may just want to look at our "friends only pics." I may be wrong but it is how I feel and Mrs L agrees with me."
That's not harsh at all. We block for many more reasons all mentioned in our profile.
You'd be amazed we'll probably not by the many 'hi' only messages we get. Meaning they only looked at the photos and thier 3rd eye can't read.
So yes, they are just photo collectors.
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To be honest I've been blocked by people I've never even seen or looked at. Guess some just block if someone isn't what they're looking for. Might be a tad harsh, but can't be taken as personal. Blocking people who act in a less than classy manner is fair dinkum as far as I'm concerned. |
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We block people that arent looking for what we are....there's no point seeing each other's profiles.
We also don't accept friends requests unless were talking to or have met them.
Do what works for you. |
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We have to learn for ourselves how we can use Fab to work for us. I think you're fine OP.
When I got rid of friends only pics, the random anonymous friend requests fell dramatically. I find them intrusive  . It's a way to potentially spoil it for themselves with just a click.
You learn that Fab attracts a lot of men who just want wank fodder . They may try to deceive you that they are interested in meeting but they usually stand out. An awful lot of people here have their time wasted, by men with their cock in hand.
I wonder whether the new porn restrictions will push people here more, as Fab has a very easy age proof mechanism, better than most porn sites. We should monitor this perhaps |
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I do exactly the same and it even says in my profile “if we have not met on person and you send a friend request then you will be blocked”
Clearly if they send one then they haven’t bothered to read my profile or they have and chosen to ignore it. Either way they clearly aren’t the person for me. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 38 weeks ago
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Great, many here act the way I do.
It is reassuring reading the majority of the comments and on that basis, I am doing is good for us.
I find it cuts out the time wasters
Another thing I picked up on is the cut and past messages - often one or two sendences or a several detailing how they have read our profile - clealy they have not as I ask them to post something that shows they've read it - IMO its a great way to avoid those that lie from the outset. However, I do get it as they are often single or married men trying their luck and I really get that - but please don't get caught out  |
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By (user no longer on site) 38 weeks ago
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"If we havnt spoken and its a random friend request, usually we wait until we’re together, accept, browse the photos and videos then delete 😂"
Yep. Exactly what we do toj |
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I don't have any friends only pics they are all public.
I state in my profile that I don't want friend requests unless we've chatted...but I still get them.
Generally i just ignore them and only block if I get rude or crude messages. It's the ones that haven't bothered to read my profile that I find frustrating. First message is a "Hi" second is "wanna meet".
Does that ever work? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 38 weeks ago
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"I don't have any friends only pics they are all public.
I state in my profile that I don't want friend requests unless we've chatted...but I still get them.
Generally i just ignore them and only block if I get rude or crude messages. It's the ones that haven't bothered to read my profile that I find frustrating. First message is a "Hi" second is "wanna meet".
Does that ever work?"
The thing is many dont read the profile and just as many said they have but lie - we know they have not read the profile as we ask them to post a code in the first message - those that claim to have read the profile and clearly have not also get blocked |
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"Over 12 months ago, I'd had enough of the unsolicited "friends" requests. So I
block all of them.
Is that too harsh?
The reason I do this, IMO is becsue I feel they may just want to look at our "friends only pics." I may be wrong but it is how I feel and Mrs L agrees with me."
It is rude to send a friend request without speaking first. |
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"Over 12 months ago, I'd had enough of the unsolicited "friends" requests. So I
block all of them.
Is that too harsh?
The reason I do this, IMO is becsue I feel they may just want to look at our "friends only pics." I may be wrong but it is how I feel and Mrs L agrees with me."
You are not wrong. Lots of people do ask to be friends to get at the friends only pics. Especially the unsolicted friends requests. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 38 weeks ago
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"Over 12 months ago, I'd had enough of the unsolicited "friends" requests. So I
block all of them.
Is that too harsh?
The reason I do this, IMO is becsue I feel they may just want to look at our "friends only pics." I may be wrong but it is how I feel and Mrs L agrees with me.
It is rude to send a friend request without speaking first. "
i think you have hit the nail on the head.
Even after messaging/speaking, imo, they must ask before sending a friends request. |
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No I don't think so.
I block repeat offenders, who send another when you've already deleted the first friend invite and they don't speak etc.
My list has 4 people on it though and I only add those I've met ir know well. |
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By (user no longer on site) 38 weeks ago
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In many cases it shows a lack of respect, especially when mentioned on our profile.
We sometimes ignore them, sometimes block but definitely wouldn't ever play with them as if they can't respect our boundaries on here what will they be like in a play scenario?
Although sometimes we will wait until they're offline, accept the friend request, have a sneaky peek at their pics and then remove them as a friend 😀
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By *lybynightWoman 38 weeks ago
visiting various Wales. .. and Daresbury |
You probably find FAB is a lot
more enjoyable when you're trigger happy with the block button.
My friends list is generally people I've met, and the occasional one I've has great chats with.
Admittedly a few, I've added, viewed their pics in case I've mis judged them, then deleted  |
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"Over 12 months ago, I'd had enough of the unsolicited "friends" requests. So I
block all of them.
Is that too harsh?
The reason I do this, IMO is becsue I feel they may just want to look at our "friends only pics." I may be wrong but it is how I feel and Mrs L agrees with me."
Na you’re right ! Better off to be catious on here |
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By (user no longer on site) 38 weeks ago
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"Over 12 months ago, I'd had enough of the unsolicited "friends" requests. So I
block all of them.
Is that too harsh?
The reason I do this, IMO is becsue I feel they may just want to look at our "friends only pics." I may be wrong but it is how I feel and Mrs L agrees with me."
I just go through deleting them all... almost daily.. sometimes i just leave them there as then they cant send another.
You only add those you want to add... I dont think it is harsh at all. |
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Pretty new on here so too us a couple of weeks to realise how many pic collectors there are.
Love taking pics and most are open to all so most friends one of us accept usually gets deleted by the other.
Some folk we are keeping on for gen reasons but the random requests from many are for one reason only. |
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Very rare I'd be friends with anyone I didn't actually know personally. People are strangers until things are genuinely established. May be different couple to couple, but as a single guy I'd absolutely not send a friend request ever. Waiting until a woman feels ready to also shows a lack of a 'pressure sell' and engenders trust in me as a man. |
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By *CExeCouple 20 weeks ago
Hong-Kong/Exeter |
We don't have a friends photos or videos section, so folks gain nothing by adding us, but they still request anyway. Our inbox is overflowing and I'm crap with Fabmin so use the friends list to remember who to chat with. Have goodness knows how many unsolicited friend invites sitting unaccepted. |
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By (user no longer on site) 20 weeks ago
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Out of the blue friend requests are just crazy. As it's been mentioned here, picture collectors? Without having met someone first, it just seems rather desperate or simply not thought through. I have ignored friend requests before deleting after a few minutes. |
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By *aandLoCouple 20 weeks ago
Southampton |
Our profile clearly says if we haven't chatted and you Friend Request us we will delete your request. We make no exceptions as it demonstrates they haven't read our profile, or don't respect our boundaries.
If we chat and want to share our friend/face pics we're happy to add them as a friend. But we will subsequently cancel the friend connection if it looks like we not going to actually meet that person. |
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By *enelope2UWoman 20 weeks ago
Doesn't matter cant block distances |
I don't block requests I just don't look at them. I add based on conversations had.. that's it that's all..
I block vile racist messages or makes that think just because I'm on here I'll fuck anything with a pulse that can type ...hey... |
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"Over 12 months ago, I'd had enough of the unsolicited "friends" requests. So I
block all of them.
Is that too harsh?
The reason I do this, IMO is becsue I feel they may just want to look at our "friends only pics." I may be wrong but it is how I feel and Mrs L agrees with me."
Our profile states that any unsolicited friend requests will be met with an instant block, so if we get them, I know they have zero interest in us or our profile and just want to look at our pictures, so they get instantly blocked |
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I've accepted requests in the past before chatting but tbh, I'm quite 'trigger happy' with the block button as well. I've blocked people I've never had any contact with just from something I've seen pop up on the updates list(usually something dr.ug related ) or if it's just someone who's after different things/I'm not attracted to. Means neither of us waste our time chatting! |
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By *1876Man 19 weeks ago
Dudley |
"Over 12 months ago, I'd had enough of the unsolicited "friends" requests. So I
block all of them.
Is that too harsh?
The reason I do this, IMO is becsue I feel they may just want to look at our "friends only pics." I may be wrong but it is how I feel and Mrs L agrees with me."
I think the op hit the nail on the head here...although doesn't appear to be on the site anymore |
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Its your profile, so your rules.
Its a bit like displaying verifications, some do and some don't.
If im chatting with a couple, or if tgey have really got my interest then I often send them a friendship request. Not to see their private pics (I only look at their public pics last after reading their profile and verifications), but because it allows me to give their new messages priority in my inbox. |
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"Over 12 months ago, I'd had enough of the unsolicited "friends" requests. So I
block all of them.
Is that too harsh?
The reason I do this, IMO is becsue I feel they may just want to look at our "friends only pics." I may be wrong but it is how I feel and Mrs L agrees with me."
not harsh enough if you ask me but I’m sound you can except my friend request I just sent |
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