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By (user no longer on site) OP 38 weeks ago
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Hi all. I get so nervous about meeting. I was going to attend the Ipswich social a while ago and got nervous. But I really want to meet people.
Question though how do you all keep the swinging fun and separate from personal life?
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I’m sure not all parts of your personal life interact, and this is no different. It does take a certain amount of “shit happens” attitude but most people’s swing life is quite low key so it’s not like your aunt Marjorie is just going to walk in on you in the middle of the high st where you’re having a public swing meet |
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It’s no different to meeting from a dating site or meeting friends. Unless you’re in a club no one is being explicit or having sex. Socials are very much a get to know each other. If anyone sees you out just it just looks like a meetup/networking event. If we see someone we know at the social, we always acknowledge it and everyone knows not to out each other as we all have a risk. To be honest though, most know I’m in the lifestyle so there’s absolutely nothing to lose for us. |
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I'm guessing your partner doesn't know you're here op & you're nervous in case you run into people you know?.
I don't know what to suggest other than look to go futher afield, socials are held all over, so you could choose one that's not near where you are.
There are lots of people on here behind their partners backs, several in the forums alone, who seem to do ok and even attend clubs and socials. |
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"Hi all. I get so nervous about meeting. I was going to attend the Ipswich social a while ago and got nervous. But I really want to meet people.
Question though how do you all keep the swinging fun and separate from personal life?
"
Everyone is nervous at first.
Going to a social is a great idea, but you have to push through the nerves, just go for it, no other way.
Keeping your vanilla life and swinging life separate is simple, just don't be tempted to mix them.
If you have a fabulous time in a swingers club or party, its very tempting to tell your friends a little bit about your night out, its a slippery slope, don't do it, keep them totally separate.
After a while the secret life you have is a great confidence booster.
Tell the organiser of the social you are very nervous and ask them to meet you outside the venue.
We arranged many socials and parties and quite a few times we've gone out to a car in the car park and collected a newbie.
Good luck.
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Really don't over think it. Organised socials are really freindly and surprisingly normal social events. Just treat it like any other event. If you struggle with social situations normally just cope the best you can, but it's no worse than any vanilla social event (probably friendlier and more approachable). So make sure you do go, you won't regret it.
Keeping the two life's seperate is fairly simple to manage. Just keep it to yourself and take reasonable steps to keep identity on here secret. It is possible you run into someone you know on here. But we're all pretty good at keeping a secret. As mentioned above if you do start to share it that's a slippery slope because you lose control over your secret. Everone has different circumstances however for most people knowing your a swinger is hardly the kiss of death or even a big deal these days. Some freinds and family know we are some don't. For us it's not a closely guarded secret, neither is it something we share with everyone unsolicited.
Anyways hope you go and hope you have a wonderful time. |
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"Hi all. I get so nervous about meeting. I was going to attend the Ipswich social a while ago and got nervous. But I really want to meet people.
Question though how do you all keep the swinging fun and separate from personal life?
"
I don't. that's too many spoons for me. The alternative sexual lifestyle community is my personal life. I don't use it to earn money. I'm single and childfree my family members and friends do not care what I do.
so in a way it's easy for me. |
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"Thank you. Definitely thinking playing at socials away from locally is a good idea. "
Most people do not have sex/play at socials. It's usually in a pub and sex there is a good way to get banned from the pub. Keep it PG in public. Just a group of friends meeting up. |
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By *izzy.Woman 38 weeks ago
Stoke area |
"Thank you. Definitely thinking playing at socials away from locally is a good idea. "
An organised social is chance to meet others in the Swinging life style in a pub or similar venue.
There might be flirting and swapping of contact details, but there wont be sexual contact at a social. |
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