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Time between messages
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If a person sends a DM to another, assuming they need time to read the message and compose a response, but you know your initial message may be missed or life get in the way, when is acceptable to message again?
Or should we assume that no response is a response? |
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If it is a first message then don’t send another until they respond.
If it is part of a longer running (proper) conversation then it really depends on what went before but expecting an immediate response is just a dick move IMHO. |
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By *egnMaxCouple 35 weeks ago
East Midlands |
This is tricky as no one wants to seem pushy or overly keen.
I suppose it depends a little on your interactions before the gap.
If you’re having a good conversation it can be fine to reach out again, as women often get bombarded with messages on here and it’s easy for your message to get lost in the morass.
At the same time we try to be sensitive to this and not add to someone’s inbox slush.
So - we’ll reach out again after a few days, if the connection is there. And if not, we’ll leave it and hope she contacts us again.
And if not, then it wasn’t meant to be.
(Bit waffly, but that’s just our take on it.)
M&M |
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Thanks M&M - what about the first message?
As you say, there’s a lot of inbox slush for single ladies to wade through. Does that mean we should message once and assume that if she was at all interested, she would respond? How do we know our message isn’t lost in the slush? Only if a read response is shown are we given an indication |
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People can read messages then mark them as unread so you may think they haven't read it but they may have and not been interested so mark it as unread to avoid the "why didn't you reply etc" drivel |
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"If a person sends a DM to another, assuming they need time to read the message and compose a response, but you know your initial message may be missed or life get in the way, when is acceptable to message again?
Or should we assume that no response is a response?"
No response is a response, if they were interested they would have replied. |
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By *egnMaxCouple 35 weeks ago
East Midlands |
"Thanks M&M - what about the first message?
As you say, there’s a lot of inbox slush for single ladies to wade through. Does that mean we should message once and assume that if she was at all interested, she would respond? How do we know our message isn’t lost in the slush? Only if a read response is shown are we given an indication"
If it’s an initial message, we only ever send one and assume lack of response = lack of interest. |
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"If a person sends a DM to another, assuming they need time to read the message and compose a response, but you know your initial message may be missed or life get in the way, when is acceptable to message again?
Or should we assume that no response is a response?"
Just delete the message straight away after you’ve sent it then you’re not overthinking about whether they’ve read it or if they’re going to reply.
Never have I doubled messaged unless it’s someone I know or I’ve forgotten to add something important.
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If we haven't replied to a message and we get another it's a red flag to us, and will probably result in a straight delete.
After four or five incoming messages where we haven't replied we'll block.
No reply is 💯% all the reply anyone needs. |
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If a message is unread you can never truly know if they've seen it, so by default you don't know if they are ignoring you or not
I wouldn't send a chase up message, but if someone has a new pic, status, meet, or changed something about their profile, you might try again if you feel you have something of value to say, but it doesn't guarantee you'll get a different result
I do personally feel there are probably a lot of missed opportunities on here because of message volume, but, that's not going to change, so you have to accept it for what it is |
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Repeat messages when we've not replied is more likely to annoy rather than get a response. We do try and reply to everything we get sent though as long as the message is respectful  . More annoying is when replying to politely decline and then getting lots of pointless follow ups. That gets the finger on the block button. |
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I don't know but probably always break the protocol. Sometimes we can be chatty, sometimes go to ground mid conversion for a few days. It's not were not intrested. Just we're not in a rush and everday life gets in the way |
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"I would not message again. Not read or no reply is a clear message. "
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I agree. In the rare circumstances that I send an introductory message I immediately delete it from my Sent 'folder'. Thereby I have no reason or impetus to message again. To be honest I never send a follow up message. |
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If your several earlier messages seemed to have longevity, apart from no reply, then perhaps give them a week or two, to remind them of your interest. But keep it light, so it's not going to potentially harass them, if they had decided, no thanks. |
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"Or should we assume that no response is a response?"
Well, you could message them again to insist that they explain why they don't find you at all sexually attractive.
Or you could just take it as read. |
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Heck if the person or couple you send a message to is actually looking for a single man.
Also, the majority of this site is single man, people are looking for you have enough offers, you'll have to make yourself stand out. |
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At least give people time answer...I have today had 6 messages from the same person within two minutes...I'm not going to answer all six messages so just answered the last one only to receive another 8 messages. |
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I will sometimes read a message then mark it ‘unread’ so the sender isn’t waiting for a reply. There’s times we are not both able to read through the messages so we will usually wait until we’re both there logged on. |
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"If a person sends a DM to another, assuming they need time to read the message and compose a response, but you know your initial message may be missed or life get in the way, when is acceptable to message again?
Or should we assume that no response is a response?"
If it's a first message was it actually worth the person responding to.
I immediately delete invisible/hi. Type ones as they clearly haven't read my profile.
If they have made a bit of an effort andy inbox isn't p'ing me off too much I may reply even if it's mo thanks but then I tend to block so as not to get crap follow-up messages
I sometimes am online not to read messages but to speak with friends so I may see a new message then mark as unread to come back to. If though when I am doing admin the one has become multiple -saw you online why you not answering type then even if message one had potential it's a block and delete.
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By *eyeYCouple 35 weeks ago
Nr Leicester |
For us we're potentially not together, in the mood engage with kids and work tribulations as many we're sure can relate to..
Multiple messages as mentioned just come across desperate honestly, we had 18 from one profile in 12 hour's after one of us opened their message without responding as we were apart..
A simple block we're afraid |
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