So you meet someone, they have 2 pre teen kids. Their view on their kids and how they communicate with their kids are totally different to your own. Example the swear at their kids, and they both cant take a " no" for an answer.
You can see this becoming an issue if you move on together as you don't like the swearing especially the kids swearing around you.
Do you leave it as it's their kids how she raises them is her own business.
Or we will be sharing a hone together and that way really is against everything you believe in terms of respect and values. And do you say something about it |
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You’ll never become before a mother and her children.
You’ll either have to accept her parenting style or call it a day on the relationship as if it’s causing you doubt now, it will only get worse. |
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By (user no longer on site) 29 weeks ago
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"So you meet someone, they have 2 pre teen kids. Their view on their kids and how they communicate with their kids are totally different to your own. Example the swear at their kids, and they both cant take a " no" for an answer.
You can see this becoming an issue if you move on together as you don't like the swearing especially the kids swearing around you.
Do you leave it as it's their kids how she raises them is her own business.
Or we will be sharing a hone together and that way really is against everything you believe in terms of respect and values. And do you say something about it"
Do you have kids of your own? Will you potentially have kids together at some point? If so is that how they’ll be acting around them?
Ultimately this seems like a fundamental difference in values between you and your partner, which is never a good thing in a long term relationship.
It will ultimately cause trouble throughout your time together.
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Go with your gut, but be respectful. Yes they're her kids but committment involves compromise, and if there is no compromise or change then it's not worth the risk. Neither of us would want a screamy shouty home. |
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By *iHungMan 29 weeks ago
Blackpool |
"So you meet someone, they have 2 pre teen kids. Their view on their kids and how they communicate with their kids are totally different to your own. Example the swear at their kids, and they both cant take a " no" for an answer.
You can see this becoming an issue if you move on together as you don't like the swearing especially the kids swearing around you.
Do you leave it as it's their kids how she raises them is her own business.
Or we will be sharing a hone together and that way really is against everything you believe in terms of respect and values. And do you say something about it"
Sorry to be blunt but eventually it will destroy the relationship, speaking from experience. |
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"If you are not aligned with how to raise children then it will very likely not end well.
Even if it isn't his to raise? The kids have a goid relationship with their dad"
Their real dad so important but the new guy will have his life turned upside by them. He will have to live with them. They are part of his life. Can he really sit back and do nothing if they are causing him issues in his life? I don’t think so. |
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By *en_kMan 29 weeks ago
North West |
Definitely say something now and explain that ‘you’re’ uncomfortable with the shouty, sweary environment. The dynamics may change if/when ‘you’ move in but ‘you’ have to be prepared to compromise if they don’t become angels overnight (or ever). Sounds like the kids don’t need a temporary dad in their life so if ‘you’re’ not prepared to put up with the struggle that will come then do them a favour and move on. |
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