Now been doing this for a few months and tonight I have a house party first one and got mixed views on it.
I’m looking forward to the social side but the play side I’m not excited about at all,thinking my partner is more up for it than me.
This normal or am I being a wuss. |
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No, you're not being a wuss at all.
I'm half a couple, parties where play is expected, aren't for me either.
My other half has gone to some alone, with my blessing.
I wouldn't like to feel I was expected to play with others, eben if I wasn't attracted to the men there. If that makes sense.
Like many of us, I'm picky though, I'd have to know who was attending already be attracted to them, if that makes sense.
Hopefully it won't be a party where you feel under any sort of pressure though op. |
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"Have you visited a club yet ? I think they are easier than house parties as there is no pressure to play with anyone else or even to play at all. "
I completely agree.
This is the main reason why I don’t go to private parties. |
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"
I’m looking forward to the social side but the play side I’m not excited about at all,thinking my partner is more up for it than me.
"
Could you have a chat with your partner and say you would like it if you both went to the party for the social side but neither of you will play with anyone ? |
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By *aandLoCouple 29 weeks ago
Southampton |
I'm with everyone else who says: if you're not comfortable don't go.
We are fairly new to the scene and our mantra is this should be fun, if it's not, it doesn't happen.
It's just sex, not the central point of your lives or your relationship. You can say 'no, I've changed my mind,' and go back to washing the car, hoovering the lounge, or whatever real life thing you were doing.
We looked at a party where just 10 couples were invited, and said 'no way.' The chances of us finding a couple we both felt attracted to enough to play with, were slim to zero. And we won't be pressured to play, no one should. xx |
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As in any aspect of this wonderful lifestyle, if your doing it as a cpl then it should be a case 💯 both parties.
If it's not ,then my advice would be to not go ahead with it. You need to have honest words with each other. 
Really hope you sort it guys. Xx |
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By *aandLoCouple 29 weeks ago
Southampton |
"... You need to go at the pace for the person who needs more time."
Perfectly put.∆∆
If one person is pressuring another within a relationship, then it's not the right time to start a journey into opening up your sex life. |
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Oh gosh no, if your not comfortable then don't do it.
I don't like intimate house parties where play is expected.
I need to feel attracted to someone and I'm not having sex or any sexual contact with them if I don't like them that's definitely not my vibe.
If your a couple really you should both be on the same page or not be doing it.
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It used to be a bit of a cliché that couples would try swinging because the male had a fantasy about it, but when they actually tried it the woman would enjoy it much more.
House parties are pretty hardcore. Not something to do unless you're both on the same page. |
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We would agree with the many people who have said you shouldn't feel pressure to do what you might not be comfortable doing. We have tended to avoid parties so far because we are uneasy about there being an expectation to play with a small number of other couples, none of which we might fancy  |
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My advice is tell your partner how you feel,I was in the same position a cpl of years ago I told Shell we can go but im not really feeling it but if when we got there she wanted to play thats fine ....turned into a great night in the end ... the trick is to take the pressure off both of you |
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By (user no longer on site) 28 weeks ago
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I’m not sure who I’m speaking to in the couple, but I get like that. For me, the social side is way more important, I miss that side of life at times and find i can socialise here.
Make sure you discuss it together, or being on here will cause problems.
Communication is key in this lifestyle
C |
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We attended a large party, got our communication levels all wrong & it turned out to be one our worst decisions ever.
The problems is that, bad communication allows for bad decision making, which usually ends up with bad decision on top of other bad decisions.
It took a lot to unpick what went wrong. It didn't help that there were some very predatory people sporting another image there. |
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