FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Safety on a meet
Safety on a meet
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By *rdnezzMan 27 weeks ago
Lavenham |
I think it’s a case of building up an online relationship, making sure you put across exactly what you’re looking for, be wary giving too much personal information. If you then find someone who you feel comfortable with, then maybe just arrange a social meet to start with, then if you trust them you can decide if you want things to move forward. Probably meeting at a hotel to start with rather than inviting them to your home. |
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Thankfully, the worst that's happened on a meet, was being stood up.
I do chat for a good while though and then only meet for a public social first though.Which I'd encourage any single person to do, always go with your gut about someone too. If something feels off, don't dismiss it.
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I make sure I chat for a while to get to know someone before I even consider meeting them.
Normally they will fly a red flag at some point. If a man wont chat with me and wants a fast meet that in itself is a red flag for me. |
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"Yes did all but still got a salted by a meet please please be careful as no red flag
Nothing and was married "
. Sorry you had that.
Unfortunately some people are very good at being duplicitous & put their own wants, above being honest with others.
Mostly there are warning signs if someone isn't single, all you can do is ask them and if in any doubt, swerve them. |
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By *questMan 27 weeks ago
peterborough |
I am coming a bit both from the swing and the fet world, and I can see exactly why woman are so wary.
On one forum, a lady said she always wore flat shoes to a first meeting, in case she has to run. Thats sensible advice, but its awful she has to do that.
And its very important to remember that people are very duplicitous online - the Devil doesnt say they are the Devil. Even meeting them can be seductive at first - they can claim lots of things, but once alone, who knows?
I actually enjoy the social aspect anyway - they idea of a friend you can be open with, even if nothing happensd is very attractive to me.
But the most smooth sounding people can have problems below the surface, and I am really worried at some the sitiuations people put themselves in here - the verifactions system is very haphazard.
Unlike kink, swinging doesnt quite have the same social setup, and so reputation etc cant be discussed in quite the same way - and thats far from perfect.
Is there any advice people would pass on to help keep others safe, or as pssoible warning signs?
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By *1c4yMan 27 weeks ago
stourbridge |
I had one bad meet and it was case of mistaken identity. She thought I was an ex using fake pics i rang once I was at the agreed meet and she messaged me abuse and and threatened to send some guys out to batter me.
Hope she’s still on here and reading this 😂
I just blocked her and never contacted her since. |
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By *questMan 27 weeks ago
peterborough |
"I make sure I chat for a while to get to know someone before I even consider meeting them.
Normally they will fly a red flag at some point. If a man wont chat with me and wants a fast meet that in itself is a red flag for me. "
I notie that you come in part from the kink scene.
have you noticed big differences between the two in terms of the kind of warnign signals as to potential problems?
I am thinking of writing something about how Fab really isnt set up to deal with certain types of bad actors when it comes to kink. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 27 weeks ago
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I’m afraid fab dose not help at all I reported this person twice and he still on here trying to meet someone else and he hert me but do worse to someone else and I said what happen and not removed or anything |
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"I’m afraid fab dose not help at all I reported this person twice and he still on here trying to meet someone else and he hert me but do worse to someone else and I said what happen and not removed or anything "
It's the polis you need |
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It's best, as others have said, to go slowly. It can filter many of the undesurables out. I'm slow by nature anyway.
Having a friend who can check in with you, by text etc, is helpful. As is getting them into a public place with CCTV, so there's a record of then with you, etc
I mostly meet in hotels, under my control, not their control |
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"It's best, as others have said, to go slowly. It can filter many of the undesurables out. I'm slow by nature anyway.
Having a friend who can check in with you, by text etc, is helpful. As is getting them into a public place with CCTV, so there's a record of then with you, etc
I mostly meet in hotels, under my control, not their control "
Good advice. Also get a picture of their number plate if they have a car and send that to the friend who knows where you are and what you're doing.
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"It's best, as others have said, to go slowly. It can filter many of the undesurables out. I'm slow by nature anyway.
Having a friend who can check in with you, by text etc, is helpful. As is getting them into a public place with CCTV, so there's a record of then with you, etc
I mostly meet in hotels, under my control, not their control
Good advice. Also get a picture of their number plate if they have a car and send that to the friend who knows where you are and what you're doing.
"
You could even send it to yourself, so that they are traceable too. |
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By *ailinWoman 27 weeks ago
stockport |
Always meet in public first
Never have people to my home
Always let someone know where I’m going and share my location
Send the address I’m going to to a friend
Share car reg/phone number/name/description etc with a friend
Tell the person I’m meeting that I’m checking in with someone
If someone doesn’t like any of the above I don’t bother with them |
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"I make sure I chat for a while to get to know someone before I even consider meeting them.
Normally they will fly a red flag at some point. If a man wont chat with me and wants a fast meet that in itself is a red flag for me.
I notie that you come in part from the kink scene.
have you noticed big differences between the two in terms of the kind of warnign signals as to potential problems?
I am thinking of writing something about how Fab really isnt set up to deal with certain types of bad actors when it comes to kink."
I have actually found that the people coming from the kink side of things tend to be more honest and open. They are normally looking for certain things and tend to be more about mutual enjoyment.
Generally I find kinksters are much more respectful and easier to get on with than the men on here who just want to get their dick wet and will say whatever it takes to achieve that. |
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By *ailinWoman 27 weeks ago
stockport |
Little things like that (wearing flat shoes) are decisions and behaviours women have to do every day to be safe, walking to work in the dark, being on a mostly empty train carriage, every day situations can be just as dangerous as a meet unfortunately 🤷🏻♀️ |
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Social in a public place then go off my gut instinct. The risk is small and that seems to make it smaller. You have to balance r sk with reward and I refuse to be scared into not living myblife,
OP as a man how do you look after your safety on a night out as statistically you are more likely to be assaulted. |
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I meet in hotels too, though I did have a problem I posted a few weeks ago with a guy who just would not leave and I had to leave instead. I could have called security but that could have got out of hand. It never felt unsafe though, just annoying. I have been to guy's hotels though, but I only go to good ones in good areas. There's always a risk, its just a question of judging how much risk we are willing to take for a good time! |
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"I’m afraid this guy I had spoken to for over a
Month he had veris and he was married and felt ok till he just flipped and got violent "
I am sorry you experienced this. I hope you have reported the profile.
I hope you’re okay and there are some amazing kink/trauma informed shrinks that can help. The police are less than useless, but you can try. |
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