FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Didn’t think I was that bad!
Didn’t think I was that bad!
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Iv been on and off here for past 4-5 yrs and its never been like it use to be. I check people in my area or around a club area I attend, if I see something in their profile that looks to suit, I send a constructive, non offence message and face photo only! No dick pics….
Now I get it people need attraction, but perhaps I’m
Missing something here. I don’t even get a no thanks, or check out my profile, maybe females and couples get so many messages that they simply delete?
A few yrs ago, people would interact, even simply for a chat. Just don’t see what the point of Fab is now!
Perhaps it’s me? |
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Most women will check your profile before even reading your message. They will also look at it in stealth mode so you wont know they have looked. If you are not for them they wont reply. No reply is a no thanks at the end of the day. |
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By (user no longer on site) 21 weeks ago
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Im sorry but no matter what the site says no reply is not a no thabk you.
No reply is a selfish rude ignorant person being self important.
That you cant get away from.
If you have children do you teach them its ok to ignore people when they talk to them (assuming they know the person and its not a strangwr).
I know the excuses are busy (if you can open a message you can reply, it takes 5 seconds) or "i have too many messages". All you have to do is use your filters to minimise messages.
As usual people dont take responsibility (before people pick up on my username im not perfect but i accept it have learnt).
I dont bother messaging anyone anymore. I believe if some doesnt reply under the guise of no reply is no thank you thhey arent a nice person.
And no this response is not because my ego hurt or i cant take rejection... its because i simply beileve in manners and common courtesy.
Ps when ive said you in the above its not aimed at anyone specific.
Pps. Feel frew to reply direct to me and i wont block anyone who has an opinion that differs to mine |
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"…
If you have children do you teach them its ok to ignore people when they talk to them (assuming they know the person and its not a strangwr).
…"
You’ve answered the question in your answer. People on here are strangers. As such, no reply, is a reply and is perfectly valid. Let me know how it goes emailing/calling to thank all the junk mail coming through your letterbox at home. |
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By *vaRoseWoman 21 weeks ago
Ankh-Morpork |
"Im sorry but no matter what the site says no reply is not a no thabk you.
No reply is a selfish rude ignorant person being self important.
That you cant get away from.
If you have children do you teach them its ok to ignore people when they talk to them (assuming they know the person and its not a strangwr).
I know the excuses are busy (if you can open a message you can reply, it takes 5 seconds) or "i have too many messages". All you have to do is use your filters to minimise messages.
As usual people dont take responsibility (before people pick up on my username im not perfect but i accept it have learnt).
I dont bother messaging anyone anymore. I believe if some doesnt reply under the guise of no reply is no thank you thhey arent a nice person.
And no this response is not because my ego hurt or i cant take rejection... its because i simply beileve in manners and common courtesy.
Ps when ive said you in the above its not aimed at anyone specific.
Pps. Feel frew to reply direct to me and i wont block anyone who has an opinion that differs to mine"
I’ll reply to those I can see have read my profile. Otherwise why would I give them my energy when clearly they couldn’t be bothered to expend theirs on me?
Do you reply to every spam email?
What about all the junk mail through your door?
If you do reply do they then come back to you with abuse? That happens a lot here. A polite no thank you is often met with nasty comments, abuse and sometimes threats.
Again why should I reply and risk that for someone who clearly hasn’t read my profile? |
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By (user no longer on site) 21 weeks ago
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"Im sorry but no matter what the site says no reply is not a no thabk you.
No reply is a selfish rude ignorant person being self important.
That you cant get away from.
If you have children do you teach them its ok to ignore people when they talk to them (assuming they know the person and its not a strangwr).
I know the excuses are busy (if you can open a message you can reply, it takes 5 seconds) or "i have too many messages". All you have to do is use your filters to minimise messages.
As usual people dont take responsibility (before people pick up on my username im not perfect but i accept it have learnt).
I dont bother messaging anyone anymore. I believe if some doesnt reply under the guise of no reply is no thank you thhey arent a nice person.
And no this response is not because my ego hurt or i cant take rejection... its because i simply beileve in manners and common courtesy.
Ps when ive said you in the above its not aimed at anyone specific.
Pps. Feel frew to reply direct to me and i wont block anyone who has an opinion that differs to mine"
We have took your advice and used the filtering tools to block you 👍
When we And other couples and single ladies reply to guys with a polite no thank you we open ourselves to abuse. We have had threats of death even. We have had guys make couples accounts to get around our filters to continue the abuse.
Don't forget to reply to everyone who is quoting you on this thread btw. Have some manners. |
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"Iv been on and off here for past 4-5 yrs and its never been like it use to be. I check people in my area or around a club area I attend, if I see something in their profile that looks to suit, I send a constructive, non offence message and face photo only! No dick pics….
Now I get it people need attraction, but perhaps I’m
Missing something here. I don’t even get a no thanks, or check out my profile, maybe females and couples get so many messages that they simply delete?
A few yrs ago, people would interact, even simply for a chat. Just don’t see what the point of Fab is now!
Perhaps it’s me? "
You know all those unwanted flyers you get in your letter box,? Do you ring them and say no thanks? |
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"Im sorry but no matter what the site says no reply is not a no thabk you.
No reply is a selfish rude ignorant person being self important.
That you cant get away from.
If you have children do you teach them its ok to ignore people when they talk to them (assuming they know the person and its not a strangwr).
I know the excuses are busy (if you can open a message you can reply, it takes 5 seconds) or "i have too many messages". All you have to do is use your filters to minimise messages.
As usual people dont take responsibility (before people pick up on my username im not perfect but i accept it have learnt).
I dont bother messaging anyone anymore. I believe if some doesnt reply under the guise of no reply is no thank you thhey arent a nice person.
And no this response is not because my ego hurt or i cant take rejection... its because i simply beileve in manners and common courtesy.
Ps when ive said you in the above its not aimed at anyone specific.
Pps. Feel frew to reply direct to me and i wont block anyone who has an opinion that differs to mine"
So if a random woman was walking down the street and you approached her with your cock out saying hey, wanna fuck? Perhaps telling her in lurid detail what you wanted to do to her, and she ignored you and kept walking, you wouldn't accept that as a no thank you?
How about near last orders in the bar and, full of liquid courage, you stagger over to that woman you've been eyeing up all night, and leerily introduce yourself. She ignores you. Still not accepting that as a no thank you?
Or that woman you complimented in the shop who graciously and politely said thank you and is now trying to get on with her day but you're following her around bombarding her with questions?
That job you applied for that requires applicants to be fluent in German and Mandarin. You can't speak a word of any foreign language but you say fuck it and fire off an application anyway because why not take a punt. The employer never gets back to you because you clearly didn't meet the essential criteria. Still holding out for that rejection letter?
I mean, if we're going to use analogies, lets make them realistic right? |
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By (user no longer on site) 21 weeks ago
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Is a tricky one and a catch 22 scenario.
We get so many messages and ‘scan’ the first line etc. some we’ve replied to say no thanks. Some we leave ‘hanging’ (no reply) just to keep the message there with the intention of replying and then the ‘delete straight away’🤣
Coupled with more messages to trawl through daily…. It’s our own fault really so we don’t really complain. We have changed filters but then our fantasies and what we’re looking for changes like the weather. There are a lot of weirdos out there and we have received a lot of abuse. Maybe I should bite the bullet and just reply a ‘no thank you, you are not what we are looking for at the moment’ to all but even that can offend and you leave yourself open to abuse. I agree with most of your points and I’m not making excuses - just sometimes it’s how it is. What really gets me though is when someone post something really hurtful and insulting then blocks you so you can’t even report |
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By *aandLoCouple 21 weeks ago
Southampton |
I think if you can't accept everyone has their own process for dealing with messages received, you've made the right choice in deciding not to message anyone.
We will only send a 'no thanks' message when it's clear the sender has read our profile and taken note of our preferences. There are too many people going for what we call the Mail Merge or Scatter Bomb approach, and it isn't just single guys.
We've sent messages and received nothing back. We don't lose any sleep over it 🤷 |
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Some ingesting and thought provoking responses, thank you. And thanks to those who messaged me directly.
I know and accept it’s 10000/1 male v females on here and I do have sympathy for some of those who receive Vial rude messages.
But we’re not all like that, but like a needle in a haystack finding those are I guess difficult. And you bound to get a prick now and again!
Merry Christmas everyone |
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Silhouette profiles just suggests to us a lazy and pointless profile or one that’s so secretive it would be a nightmare to organise anything with.
There’s really no picture of you at all that you could post that your wife / gf wouldn't recognise?
As for the “because of my job” bollocks file that under Sydney university and other assorted nonsense. |
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"Iv been on and off here for past 4-5 yrs and its never been like it use to be. I check people in my area or around a club area I attend, if I see something in their profile that looks to suit, I send a constructive, non offence message and face photo only! No dick pics….
Now I get it people need attraction, but perhaps I’m
Missing something here. I don’t even get a no thanks, or check out my profile, maybe females and couples get so many messages that they simply delete?
A few yrs ago, people would interact, even simply for a chat. Just don’t see what the point of Fab is now!
Perhaps it’s me? "
As you have been on here so long you should know how hard it can be for single men because the ratio of men to women is crazy females/couples and single men are under no obligation to read or reply at all.
TBh I have been lucky on here but not sure about women but seeing posts like this do single men no good |
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Doesn't matter how engaging and funny your first message is if it doesn't even get looked at. A quick way for women and couples to filter out profiles are ones which can't be bothered to add a profile pic. A black silhouette equals instant delete. It amazes us how people put so little effort into their "first impression" and then moan that they never get lucky. |
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Expecting a reply to messages is just not going to be realistic, especially with the number of messages that some people on here get.
The trouble is everyone is looking for something different, maybe delete/ hold options for messages could be a thing something like the following so rather than a reply the recipient could tick
Stay out of my inbox ( auto blocks the sender)
Thanks for your message but not for me
I’m not looking right now but I might come back to you sometime in the future.
Maybe that’s just a dream and would never happen, maybe it would help clear out inboxes in an efficient way
Who knows
Have a naughty festive season one and all
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By *ixcplCouple 21 weeks ago
Fulham |
"Im sorry but no matter what the site says no reply is not a no thabk you.
No reply is a selfish rude ignorant person being self important.
That you cant get away from.
If you have children do you teach them its ok to ignore people when they talk to them (assuming they know the person and its not a strangwr).
I know the excuses are busy (if you can open a message you can reply, it takes 5 seconds) or "i have too many messages". All you have to do is use your filters to minimise messages.
As usual people dont take responsibility (before people pick up on my username im not perfect but i accept it have learnt).
I dont bother messaging anyone anymore. I believe if some doesnt reply under the guise of no reply is no thank you thhey arent a nice person.
And no this response is not because my ego hurt or i cant take rejection... its because i simply beileve in manners and common courtesy.
Ps when ive said you in the above its not aimed at anyone specific.
Pps. Feel frew to reply direct to me and i wont block anyone who has an opinion that differs to mine"
Wow - entitled much?
When we get a cut and paste message, or just ‘hey’ and it’s clear you don’t meet what we’re looking for / haven’t bothered to even read our profile then you don’t get a reply. Why should we put the effort in when you didn’t?
Or we do reply and we get plagued with ‘why’ or ‘ you don’t know what you’re missing’ or just abuse.
So it’s a no reply and a block to avoid repeat offenders.
We could just block all single guys, but we do appreciate those who put the effort in
Happy Christmas all  |
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"Im sorry but no matter what the site says no reply is not a no thabk you.
No reply is a selfish rude ignorant person being self important.
That you cant get away from.
If you have children do you teach them its ok to ignore people when they talk to them (assuming they know the person and its not a strangwr).
I know the excuses are busy (if you can open a message you can reply, it takes 5 seconds) or "i have too many messages". All you have to do is use your filters to minimise messages.
As usual people dont take responsibility (before people pick up on my username im not perfect but i accept it have learnt).
I dont bother messaging anyone anymore. I believe if some doesnt reply under the guise of no reply is no thank you thhey arent a nice person.
And no this response is not because my ego hurt or i cant take rejection... its because i simply beileve in manners and common courtesy.
Ps when ive said you in the above its not aimed at anyone specific.
Pps. Feel frew to reply direct to me and i wont block anyone who has an opinion that differs to mine"
I try to answer all my messages. I hide my profile from time to time for various reasons but usually because it's weekend and people have drink and "Show us your tits" gets a bit boring.
I've found a lot of people recently thanking me for my reply even though it's a no thank you.
If you can find time to read a profile you can type no thank you. Messages are from human beings not the double glazing company that put a leaflet through your door.
Be kind, if the message is polite just have the decency to respond.
Smile at someone, be happy life's for living not surviving. Have an amazing Christmas all xx |
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I have no problem with anyone not replying. Especially single women and couples as we hear all the time how many messages they get. One woman on here had 776 the other day. It's not feasible to respond to everyone. Also, I expect that once they reply with a No thank you, they hundreds more replies. I just delete my sent messages if they've been online and not read it after a week. I accept that I'm not for everyone as happens in life. |
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"Im sorry but no matter what the site says no reply is not a no thabk you.
No reply is a selfish rude ignorant person being self important.
That you cant get away from.
If you have children do you teach them its ok to ignore people when they talk to them (assuming they know the person and its not a strangwr).
I know the excuses are busy (if you can open a message you can reply, it takes 5 seconds) or "i have too many messages". All you have to do is use your filters to minimise messages.
As usual people dont take responsibility (before people pick up on my username im not perfect but i accept it have learnt).
I dont bother messaging anyone anymore. I believe if some doesnt reply under the guise of no reply is no thank you thhey arent a nice person.
And no this response is not because my ego hurt or i cant take rejection... its because i simply beileve in manners and common courtesy.
Ps when ive said you in the above its not aimed at anyone specific.
Pps. Feel frew to reply direct to me and i wont block anyone who has an opinion that differs to mine"
If I reply to everyone who messages me and then change my message filters the filter will not block all those I have replied to. I therefore do not reply if I am not interested as I want my filters to work should I need them.
I am also under absolutely no obligation to reply to anyone who send me a message.
Messages on here are all basically unsolicited messages so I will only reply if I choose to.
Do you reply to all the junk mail that comes through your door? |
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By *b03Man 21 weeks ago
Exeter |
If I send out a message, while it will be carefully crafted and well, not gross, I definitely wont expect a reply.
You don't know what's going on with the other person, maybe their Inbox is full? Maybe they missed you message? Maybe they glanced at but didn't fully read it. Anything, really.
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"Iv been on and off here for past 4-5 yrs and its never been like it use to be. I check people in my area or around a club area I attend, if I see something in their profile that looks to suit, I send a constructive, non offence message and face photo only! No dick pics….
Now I get it people need attraction, but perhaps I’m
Missing something here. I don’t even get a no thanks, or check out my profile, maybe females and couples get so many messages that they simply delete?
A few yrs ago, people would interact, even simply for a chat. Just don’t see what the point of Fab is now!
Perhaps it’s me? "
What are your expectations from the effort you have put in?? |
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A no reply is a no thank you, or your message didn't interest them enough.
It's part of the site, get over it.
The amount of dribble and tripe women and couple have to wade through is some a single guy just can't comprehend. They simply don't have to time to respond to everyone, that does mean some of the good ones will slip through the net.
Enjoy the site for what it is and don't get too hungry up over it. |
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I’d say when I originally posted this, was for either a no thank you, or perhaps indeed further correspondence. But as it’s been put to me, do I respond to every junk mail I get? And the answer is no; so point made I think.
I did also put later on that I did appreciate the response and that indeed it was though provoking, so to continue jabbing at me is I feel unfair and unwarranted.
I mearley wished to point out that I do take time to write a message and don’t simply put one or two words together. Nor do I solicit with photos of my cock! That’s said, as I pointed out above, in due consideration, perhaps I should accept that even a reasonably written message would also not result in further messages. |
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"
Be kind, if the message is polite just have the decency to respond.
Smile at someone, be happy life's for living not surviving. Have an amazing Christmas all xx"
I used to always reply politely no thanks, til the day i was told he hoped i caught covid and died!
Ive been called various vile names, been told he hoped somthing bad happens to me as i deserve it! All from men who ive been polite enough to reply thanks but no thanks, so No not everyone deserves my decency of a reply! |
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"I’d say when I originally posted this, was for either a no thank you, or perhaps indeed further correspondence. But as it’s been put to me, do I respond to every junk mail I get? And the answer is no; so point made I think.
I did also put later on that I did appreciate the response and that indeed it was though provoking, so to continue jabbing at me is I feel unfair and unwarranted.
I mearley wished to point out that I do take time to write a message and don’t simply put one or two words together. Nor do I solicit with photos of my cock! That’s said, as I pointed out above, in due consideration, perhaps I should accept that even a reasonably written message would also not result in further messages. "
In fairness to you OP I think a lot of the subsequent posts were in response to another comment 🙂 |
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"
Be kind, if the message is polite just have the decency to respond.
Smile at someone, be happy life's for living not surviving. Have an amazing Christmas all xx
I used to always reply politely no thanks, til the day i was told he hoped i caught covid and died!
Ive been called various vile names, been told he hoped somthing bad happens to me as i deserve it! All from men who ive been polite enough to reply thanks but no thanks, so No not everyone deserves my decency of a reply!"
We have all had shit responses like that. Brits don't all drink beer and fight at football games .. all girls don't give blow jobs and not all gay men like it up the arse. We are all human and deserve respect.. until given reason not to. Don't assume it makes an ass out of u and whoever the poor fucker is your speaking too. |
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"Iv been on and off here for past 4-5 yrs and its never been like it use to be. I check people in my area or around a club area I attend, if I see something in their profile that looks to suit, I send a constructive, non offence message and face photo only! No dick pics….
Now I get it people need attraction, but perhaps I’m
Missing something here. I don’t even get a no thanks, or check out my profile, maybe females and couples get so many messages that they simply delete?
A few yrs ago, people would interact, even simply for a chat. Just don’t see what the point of Fab is now!
Perhaps it’s me? "
Its not you-its them! |
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"
Be kind, if the message is polite just have the decency to respond.
Smile at someone, be happy life's for living not surviving. Have an amazing Christmas all xx
I used to always reply politely no thanks, til the day i was told he hoped i caught covid and died!
Ive been called various vile names, been told he hoped somthing bad happens to me as i deserve it! All from men who ive been polite enough to reply thanks but no thanks, so No not everyone deserves my decency of a reply!
We have all had shit responses like that. Brits don't all drink beer and fight at football games .. all girls don't give blow jobs and not all gay men like it up the arse. We are all human and deserve respect.. until given reason not to. Don't assume it makes an ass out of u and whoever the poor fucker is your speaking too. "
No but theres only so much abuse one can take, just not worth it, if am interested il reply if not i wont |
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It's true to say Fab isn't what it used to be. Five to ten years ago it was common to get responses - and to have positive outcomes from those responses. Somewhere down the line things changed.....and sadly not for the better for the most part. I've never been quite able to put my finger on why, but there was a definite point when it happened.
My first observation is to say to any guy don't ever voice your frustrations on here. You're not going to illicit positive responses and may even do your chances further harm going forward, with female strangers unlikely to sympathise and see you as anything but a whiny bloke (deserved or not). Other guys are likely to try to be clever and sarcastic (you can tell this has happened many times before!), while an altogether lower form of male life will use it as an opportunity to take advantage of your circumstances and say the kind of things they think women want to hear, using you as a ladder to achieve that.
Several things are true though;
Women are literally BOMBARDED by single men - many of whom don't make the level of effort that shows who the good guys are. They aren't going to have enough time in the day to reply to all.
Responses do show moral decency, but it's uncommon nowadays. (See above). It's rarely personal.
It may be worth considering attending a few socials in your area - they really help to network and showcase the best guys for who they really are - being a high value man for yourself (not fake for others to see) is a great life lesson. You can build a reputation over time in a non-pressured, non-sexual environment that feels less intimidating than a club. Taking the time to do this over multiple visits can really pay dividends for the long game.
Stop sending messages!! Radical I know, but this is something I did several years ago and immediately felt more at peace with myself. It can be a blow to personal confidence shouting into a vacuum over time, no matter how much positive energy you put into it. As an example I've had one response in five years - although she's turned out to be absolute gold! - which is a seriously poor return.
Personally my results on Fab are almost zero in five years, however in a well-chosen club or social that reverses, with my reputation well and truly established at Libs (and to an extent Purple Mamba), with it being incredibly rare that I leave without a huge smile on my face. I've also managed to get myself invited onto the Vanilla to Vixen podcast several times as a result.
I'm no Adonis - in fact I'm relatively short, bald and in my opinion a distinctly average bloke, but I do well. Why? Because I respected myself, set my personal standards as high as I could, behaved impeccably but sociably, in a manner that hopefully put people at ease. I've also not dropped my standards, even when things haven't been going quite so well on here. Swinging can be a wonderful place if you take the time to find what works for you, but don't waste your time flogging a dead horse. There are lots of badly behaved men on Fab, as well as the great ones, so if that's all that ends up left on here, so be it. You do you.
Hope this has been helpful and constructive, if a little long-winded.
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"Im sorry but no matter what the site says no reply is not a no thabk you.
No reply is a selfish rude ignorant person being self important.
That you cant get away from.
If you have children do you teach them its ok to ignore people when they talk to them (assuming they know the person and its not a strangwr).
I know the excuses are busy (if you can open a message you can reply, it takes 5 seconds) or "i have too many messages". All you have to do is use your filters to minimise messages.
As usual people dont take responsibility (before people pick up on my username im not perfect but i accept it have learnt).
I dont bother messaging anyone anymore. I believe if some doesnt reply under the guise of no reply is no thank you thhey arent a nice person.
And no this response is not because my ego hurt or i cant take rejection... its because i simply beileve in manners and common courtesy.
Ps when ive said you in the above its not aimed at anyone specific.
Pps. Feel frew to reply direct to me and i wont block anyone who has an opinion that differs to mine"
couldn’t said it better my self manners only cost nothing and a few seconds of your time when someone has taken minutes to massage you |
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By (user no longer on site) 21 weeks ago
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"Im sorry but no matter what the site says no reply is not a no thabk you.
No reply is a selfish rude ignorant person being self important.
That you cant get away from.
If you have children do you teach them its ok to ignore people when they talk to them (assuming they know the person and its not a strangwr).
I know the excuses are busy (if you can open a message you can reply, it takes 5 seconds) or "i have too many messages". All you have to do is use your filters to minimise messages.
As usual people dont take responsibility (before people pick up on my username im not perfect but i accept it have learnt).
I dont bother messaging anyone anymore. I believe if some doesnt reply under the guise of no reply is no thank you thhey arent a nice person.
And no this response is not because my ego hurt or i cant take rejection... its because i simply beileve in manners and common courtesy.
Ps when ive said you in the above its not aimed at anyone specific.
Pps. Feel frew to reply direct to me and i wont block anyone who has an opinion that differs to minecouldn’t said it better my self manners only cost nothing and a few seconds of your time when someone has taken minutes to massage you "
You might want to read through the rest of the thread and see the experiences of people who refute this.
The guy that posted that has also not replied to anybody on this thread despite being online since. |
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By (user no longer on site) 21 weeks ago
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Whilst I have yet to attend a club / socials night it is true that some people are better experienced in person than via text / photos and I count myself as one of those people.
Though I get along ok via messages I'm definitely more a people person irl and can more express my personality that way, so I guess I'm more coming to the conclusion that I should just attend a social.
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"Whilst I have yet to attend a club / socials night it is true that some people are better experienced in person than via text / photos and I count myself as one of those people.
Though I get along ok via messages I'm definitely more a people person irl and can more express my personality that way, so I guess I'm more coming to the conclusion that I should just attend a social.
"
You can't lose with that kind of approach. Good luck to you! |
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On my account and our couples profile I have a policy of always being nice and always reply even if it's a "no".
But if a message is obviously a cut and paste or a single word I sometimes hit delete because I think that person doesn't expect much back from their efforts.
If someone has taken the time to be nice, or has an interesting profile then I will always take time out to pay them a compliment even if they really aren't of interest to us. FAB can be a demoralising place, good people deserve some nice words and encouragement. |
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"Im sorry but no matter what the site says no reply is not a no thabk you.
No reply is a selfish rude ignorant person being self important.
That you cant get away from.
If you have children do you teach them its ok to ignore people when they talk to them (assuming they know the person and its not a strangwr).
I know the excuses are busy (if you can open a message you can reply, it takes 5 seconds) or "i have too many messages". All you have to do is use your filters to minimise messages.
As usual people dont take responsibility (before people pick up on my username im not perfect but i accept it have learnt).
I dont bother messaging anyone anymore. I believe if some doesnt reply under the guise of no reply is no thank you thhey arent a nice person.
And no this response is not because my ego hurt or i cant take rejection... its because i simply beileve in manners and common courtesy.
Ps when ive said you in the above its not aimed at anyone specific.
Pps. Feel frew to reply direct to me and i wont block anyone who has an opinion that differs to mine"
Tbh looking briefly at your own profile i suspect that your well worded post, which tbh reads like a different person wrote it in comparison, is aimed purely at generating incoming messages.
If we received a message from a profile with a single pic of a cock, and a short uninteresting commentary it is very unlikely we would reply.
As others have said no one is obligated to respond to any message received.
Have a great day everyone. |
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"Im sorry but no matter what the site says no reply is not a no thabk you.
No reply is a selfish rude ignorant person being self important.
That you cant get away from.
If you have children do you teach them its ok to ignore people when they talk to them (assuming they know the person and its not a strangwr).
I know the excuses are busy (if you can open a message you can reply, it takes 5 seconds) or "i have too many messages". All you have to do is use your filters to minimise messages.
As usual people dont take responsibility (before people pick up on my username im not perfect but i accept it have learnt).
I dont bother messaging anyone anymore. I believe if some doesnt reply under the guise of no reply is no thank you thhey arent a nice person.
And no this response is not because my ego hurt or i cant take rejection... its because i simply beileve in manners and common courtesy.
Ps when ive said you in the above its not aimed at anyone specific.
Pps. Feel frew to reply direct to me and i wont block anyone who has an opinion that differs to mine"
Just to say, it's also selfish and rude to not read someone's profile and still message them. Or ignore what they've written because you sill want to message them.
I'm not specifically directing that at you, but that's 99% of my inbox, so why do they deserve a reply?
I'll always reply if someone sends me a nice message though, even if it's a no thanks. |
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"Im sorry but no matter what the site says no reply is not a no thabk you.
No reply is a selfish rude ignorant person being self important.
That you cant get away from.
If you have children do you teach them its ok to ignore people when they talk to them (assuming they know the person and its not a strangwr).
I know the excuses are busy (if you can open a message you can reply, it takes 5 seconds) or "i have too many messages". All you have to do is use your filters to minimise messages.
As usual people dont take responsibility (before people pick up on my username im not perfect but i accept it have learnt).
I dont bother messaging anyone anymore. I believe if some doesnt reply under the guise of no reply is no thank you thhey arent a nice person.
And no this response is not because my ego hurt or i cant take rejection... its because i simply beileve in manners and common courtesy.
Ps when ive said you in the above its not aimed at anyone specific.
Pps. Feel frew to reply direct to me and i wont block anyone who has an opinion that differs to mine
Just to say, it's also selfish and rude to not read someone's profile and still message them. Or ignore what they've written because you sill want to message them.
I'm not specifically directing that at you, but that's 99% of my inbox, so why do they deserve a reply?
I'll always reply if someone sends me a nice message though, even if it's a no thanks. "
Very fair point! If someone takes the trouble to put a decent message together, but hasn't read the profile properly and doesn't fit the other person's criteria they only have themselves to blame. Reading and absorbing a profile can count for a lot. No sense in messaging if we're not what that individual is looking for. |
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Pics always help. As well as a profile that says more than I’m horny and want sex…
I’ve looked at your profile and it doesn’t make me want to engage. There’s only one photo and it’s ok but not super interesting. Sorry, don’t want to offend. Share your best feature. Entice the reader. |
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"Im sorry but no matter what the site says no reply is not a no thabk you.
No reply is a selfish rude ignorant person being self important.
That you cant get away from.
If you have children do you teach them its ok to ignore people when they talk to them (assuming they know the person and its not a strangwr).
I know the excuses are busy (if you can open a message you can reply, it takes 5 seconds) or "i have too many messages". All you have to do is use your filters to minimise messages.
As usual people dont take responsibility (before people pick up on my username im not perfect but i accept it have learnt).
I dont bother messaging anyone anymore. I believe if some doesnt reply under the guise of no reply is no thank you thhey arent a nice person.
And no this response is not because my ego hurt or i cant take rejection... its because i simply beileve in manners and common courtesy.
Ps when ive said you in the above its not aimed at anyone specific.
Pps. Feel frew to reply direct to me and i wont block anyone who has an opinion that differs to mine"
When someone spends 30 seconds on their whole profile, but gets annoyed that you won't spend time replying to every single message you get...🥱🙄 |
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"
I know the excuses are busy (if you can open a message you can reply, it takes 5 seconds) or "i have too many messages". All you have to do is use your filters to minimise messages.
"
Friend of mine has filters on and still has over 1400 unread messages and it grows by the day |
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"
Friend of mine has filters on and still has over 1400 unread messages and it grows by the day
I have over 9000 winks. I have always totally ignored them. "
I never look at winks either.
I also don't look at friend requests, I state in my profile I don't accept them if we havent spoken but the list is stupidly long. |
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I feel for some of the men on here , it can be hard not getting replies, im no oil painting by any means but i think being patient and polite wins the day.
Just wished id joined back in the early glory days
Good luck all |
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"As above.
I'll also add that I find AI written bios off-putting."
AI is writing some bios now  . Don't exactly know why that should surprise me these days. I think we may just stick to clubs/parties/events to meet new people. You can't beat meeting people in the real physical world. |
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We may sound selfish on here but we're here to chase our desires not to play customer service to a loads of unsolicited messages. What do we owe strangers who have sent an unsolicited message we didn't ask for over the Internet? No one owes you their time in response to a message they did not ask for. I get it can be frustrating on here. I get people want some kind of validation and feedback. But you have to accept people are not here to serve you at the expenses of their time and energy. No reply is just the nature of the beast. Accept it as a no thanks and move on. |
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I'm 22 now but ive been on fabs since I was 18 during lockdown. I used to get 100 messages+ a day and it used to stress me out if i didnt reply to everyone. Sometimes, guys would curse at me if i didnt and call me an "ugly btch". I've understood over the years, not replying was a valid response in itself.
Now, I dont just look at the pictures. I'm more attracted by personality and vibes. None of us will be attractive to everyone so dont ever think its just you.  |
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"Im sorry but no matter what the site says no reply is not a no thabk you.
No reply is a selfish rude ignorant person being self important.
That you cant get away from.
If you have children do you teach them its ok to ignore people when they talk to them (assuming they know the person and its not a strangwr).
I know the excuses are busy (if you can open a message you can reply, it takes 5 seconds) or "i have too many messages". All you have to do is use your filters to minimise messages.
As usual people dont take responsibility (before people pick up on my username im not perfect but i accept it have learnt).
I dont bother messaging anyone anymore. I believe if some doesnt reply under the guise of no reply is no thank you thhey arent a nice person.
And no this response is not because my ego hurt or i cant take rejection... its because i simply beileve in manners and common courtesy.
Ps when ive said you in the above its not aimed at anyone specific.
Pps. Feel frew to reply direct to me and i wont block anyone who has an opinion that differs to mine"
The whole if you have children is irrelevant to fab.
You message a stranger, they didn't ask to start a conversation & you aren't entitled to a response.
Do you reply to everyone who's taken the time to respond to this comment - no.
Do you reply to evey spam email to say thanks but no thanks - no.
Do I want to respond to a penis in my face - no.
What benefit do you get out of someone saying no?
The level of entitlement is rife, because you spam an inbox you aren't entitled to a reply.
Mrs
|
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I've always seen a no response as a response, a social is not a gaurenteed meet for fun. It would be good if there was an auto reply box which you can click on that says intrested/not intrested and it could work similar to the spam messages where it blocks the other person from replying to you for a few hours so no abuse. |
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By *sm265Woman 20 weeks ago
Perthshire |
In the time it has taken me to read through this post I've had multiple messages, none are from people that match my interests, most have clearly not even read my profile, 2 are from several hundred miles away...why should i spend any time replying to them? |
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I'm in the human camp where if someone makes the effort it's polite to respond and impolite to ignore. Whatever is in the fab constitution. A cheap website is not supposed to be able to re write the rules of human interaction. If people feel the need to justify that behaviour by falling back on fab rule #1 that's OK. But fab doesn't dictate the etiquette of how humans wish to interact. To each their own.
Is it the same as it was years ago.? Probably not but nor are us humans the same. Good luck op. |
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By *istr3ssWoman 20 weeks ago
Stockton-on-Tees |
"If you do reply do they then come back to you with abuse? That happens a lot here. A polite no thank you is often met with nasty comments, abuse and sometimes threats.
Again why should I reply and risk that for someone who clearly hasn’t read my profile?"
This.
I often get abuse when I explain that my profile already explains exactly what I'm looking for.
Many men on this site thinks it's their right to fuck any woman they chose to send a message to |
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"I'm 22 now but ive been on fabs since I was 18 during lockdown. I used to get 100 messages+ a day and it used to stress me out if i didnt reply to everyone. Sometimes, guys would curse at me if i didnt and call me an "ugly btch". I've understood over the years, not replying was a valid response in itself.
Now, I dont just look at the pictures. I'm more attracted by personality and vibes. None of us will be attractive to everyone so dont ever think its just you. "
That's a lovely way to put it!
Sorry you've had that abuse - god knows what possesses anyone to stoop to that. On the side of the silver lining it certainly helps with working out who doesn't deserve a moment of your time. |
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By *otBunsHunWoman 20 weeks ago
The North where we do what we want |
"Im sorry but no matter what the site says no reply is not a no thabk you.
No reply is a selfish rude ignorant person being self important.
That you cant get away from.
If you have children do you teach them its ok to ignore people when they talk to them (assuming they know the person and its not a strangwr).
I know the excuses are busy (if you can open a message you can reply, it takes 5 seconds) or "i have too many messages". All you have to do is use your filters to minimise messages.
As usual people dont take responsibility (before people pick up on my username im not perfect but i accept it have learnt).
I dont bother messaging anyone anymore. I believe if some doesnt reply under the guise of no reply is no thank you thhey arent a nice person.
And no this response is not because my ego hurt or i cant take rejection... its because i simply beileve in manners and common courtesy.
Ps when ive said you in the above its not aimed at anyone specific.
Pps. Feel frew to reply direct to me and i wont block anyone who has an opinion that differs to mine"
🥱🥱🥱🥱🥱🥱 |
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By (user no longer on site) 20 weeks ago
|
As someone said earlier,"No response to a message,is a response"!
We don't reply to 99.9% of all messages received for one reason or another especially when they are too far away to meet socially.
|
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This is a conversation that goes round in circles here.
- People sometimes get 100s of messages and can't reply to all.
- A no can often lead to abuse
-Far too much 'entitlement' and a no reply dressed up as being bad mannered. 'Not like the old days' etc
Thread after thread saying same thing.
It is up to people whether they reply or not. I always reply, but i only get a few messages a day, if that.
Be nice, read profile, message if appropriate, move on if nothing comes of it.
It's as simple as that.
Happy new year everyone
X
|
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"As above.
I'll also add that I find AI written bios off-putting."
“ Bing, write me a bio for a swinging web site in the style of a Romeo Paul Newman love god. Make sure to mention I’m a professional, easygoing no drama lover and for fucks sake don’t mention the wife !” |
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By *hovskolMan 20 weeks ago
South Manchester |
If it's a copy and pasted message, or they don't like our my type then I'll ignore. It also means fab will warn them that they messaged me before with no reply.
I don't understand people who try and argue with you when you say you're no interested, they are only strengthening the case against them.
Most zero effort messages are ignored, especially from blank profiles. Also just because you feel comfortable sending a face pic, doesn't mean I should. |
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I guess are are not aware pf just HOW MANY messages single women get?! Its mental! We are allowed to be picky and choose who WE like and want to talk to. If you want to interact more, i suggest you try the chat rooms? |
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By *enelope2UWoman 20 weeks ago
Doesn't matter cant block distances |
"Iv been on and off here for past 4-5 yrs and its never been like it use to be. I check people in my area or around a club area I attend, if I see something in their profile that looks to suit, I send a constructive, non offence message and face photo only! No dick pics….
Now I get it people need attraction, but perhaps I’m
Missing something here. I don’t even get a no thanks, or check out my profile, maybe females and couples get so many messages that they simply delete?
A few yrs ago, people would interact, even simply for a chat. Just don’t see what the point of Fab is now!
Perhaps it’s me? "
Profile is great... great ends there..lack of other pictures would be a delete and no bother replying why |
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By *enelope2UWoman 20 weeks ago
Doesn't matter cant block distances |
"Im sorry but no matter what the site says no reply is not a no thabk you.
No reply is a selfish rude ignorant person being self important.
That you cant get away from.
If you have children do you teach them its ok to ignore people when they talk to them (assuming they know the person and its not a strangwr).
I know the excuses are busy (if you can open a message you can reply, it takes 5 seconds) or "i have too many messages". All you have to do is use your filters to minimise messages.
As usual people dont take responsibility (before people pick up on my username im not perfect but i accept it have learnt).
I dont bother messaging anyone anymore. I believe if some doesnt reply under the guise of no reply is no thank you thhey arent a nice person.
And no this response is not because my ego hurt or i cant take rejection... its because i simply beileve in manners and common courtesy.
Ps when ive said you in the above its not aimed at anyone specific.
Pps. Feel frew to reply direct to me and i wont block anyone who has an opinion that differs to mine"
If I put on MY PROFILE what I'm looking for and or not looking for and someone disregards it then it is no longer my responsibility to be polite.
I have had a detailed profile and it was ignored. I have a BASIC profile now and it has been ignored.
The results will be therefore my choice because the sender had 1st and last opportunity to think before sending a message..they simply chose to disregard mine. |
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"Im sorry but no matter what the site says no reply is not a no thabk you.
No reply is a selfish rude ignorant person being self important.
That you cant get away from.
If you have children do you teach them its ok to ignore people when they talk to them (assuming they know the person and its not a strangwr).
I know the excuses are busy (if you can open a message you can reply, it takes 5 seconds) or "i have too many messages". All you have to do is use your filters to minimise messages.
As usual people dont take responsibility (before people pick up on my username im not perfect but i accept it have learnt).
I dont bother messaging anyone anymore. I believe if some doesnt reply under the guise of no reply is no thank you thhey arent a nice person.
And no this response is not because my ego hurt or i cant take rejection... its because i simply beileve in manners and common courtesy.
Ps when ive said you in the above its not aimed at anyone specific.
Pps. Feel frew to reply direct to me and i wont block anyone who has an opinion that differs to mine"
Is it bad manners that you haven't replied to anyone in this forum? Is there a reason you haven't? |
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By *D40Couple 20 weeks ago
Wolverhampton |
"Im sorry but no matter what the site says no reply is not a no thabk you.
No reply is a selfish rude ignorant person being self important.
That you cant get away from.
If you have children do you teach them its ok to ignore people when they talk to them (assuming they know the person and its not a strangwr).
I know the excuses are busy (if you can open a message you can reply, it takes 5 seconds) or "i have too many messages". All you have to do is use your filters to minimise messages.
As usual people dont take responsibility (before people pick up on my username im not perfect but i accept it have learnt).
I dont bother messaging anyone anymore. I believe if some doesnt reply under the guise of no reply is no thank you thhey arent a nice person.
And no this response is not because my ego hurt or i cant take rejection... its because i simply beileve in manners and common courtesy.
Ps when ive said you in the above its not aimed at anyone specific.
Pps. Feel frew to reply direct to me and i wont block anyone who has an opinion that differs to mine"
I agree. A no thank you takes 20 seconds to type
Mrs wd |
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"Im sorry but no matter what the site says no reply is not a no thabk you.
No reply is a selfish rude ignorant person being self important.
That you cant get away from.
If you have children do you teach them its ok to ignore people when they talk to them (assuming they know the person and its not a strangwr).
I know the excuses are busy (if you can open a message you can reply, it takes 5 seconds) or "i have too many messages". All you have to do is use your filters to minimise messages.
As usual people dont take responsibility (before people pick up on my username im not perfect but i accept it have learnt).
I dont bother messaging anyone anymore. I believe if some doesnt reply under the guise of no reply is no thank you thhey arent a nice person.
And no this response is not because my ego hurt or i cant take rejection... its because i simply beileve in manners and common courtesy.
Ps when ive said you in the above its not aimed at anyone specific.
Pps. Feel frew to reply direct to me and i wont block anyone who has an opinion that differs to mine
I agree. A no thank you takes 20 seconds to type
Mrs wd"
And as I stated before, that 20 second reply to all of those who message me randomly stops any future filters from working when I want them. So no I won't reply to everyone just to be polite. |
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"Im sorry but no matter what the site says no reply is not a no thabk you.
No reply is a selfish rude ignorant person being self important.
That you cant get away from.
If you have children do you teach them its ok to ignore people when they talk to them (assuming they know the person and its not a strangwr).
I know the excuses are busy (if you can open a message you can reply, it takes 5 seconds) or "i have too many messages". All you have to do is use your filters to minimise messages.
As usual people dont take responsibility (before people pick up on my username im not perfect but i accept it have learnt).
I dont bother messaging anyone anymore. I believe if some doesnt reply under the guise of no reply is no thank you thhey arent a nice person.
And no this response is not because my ego hurt or i cant take rejection... its because i simply beileve in manners and common courtesy.
Ps when ive said you in the above its not aimed at anyone specific.
Pps. Feel frew to reply direct to me and i wont block anyone who has an opinion that differs to mine
I agree. A no thank you takes 20 seconds to type
Mrs wd"
20 seconds × 1400 messages = 7.77 hours, aye no bother! |
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"Iv been on and off here for past 4-5 yrs and its never been like it use to be. I check people in my area or around a club area I attend, if I see something in their profile that looks to suit, I send a constructive, non offence message and face photo only! No dick pics….
Now I get it people need attraction, but perhaps I’m
Missing something here. I don’t even get a no thanks, or check out my profile, maybe females and couples get so many messages that they simply delete?
A few yrs ago, people would interact, even simply for a chat. Just don’t see what the point of Fab is now!
Perhaps it’s me? "
Not another one of these posts you have been on fab a few years and must know the amount of these woe woe is me post come across as very needy.
Grow up you know the site by now please for sympathy shags rarely work |
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By *sm265Woman 20 weeks ago
Perthshire |
At least 90% of messages I receive have clearly either not taken time to read my profile , or have read it and decided to completely ignore what it says. Why should I be polite to them when they have already shown disrespect to me?
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By (user no longer on site) 19 weeks ago
|
Have a picture on your profile, I would say it helps but for me it’s clearly an issue.
Who wants to talk to an anonymous profile? Girls get hundreds of messages, they can’t reply to them all.
On behalf of the good guys on here I’d like to apologise for the knuckle draggers who send abuse to you all. Please don’t tar us with the same brush, some of us are nice people |
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"Iv been on and off here for past 4-5 yrs and its never been like it use to be. I check people in my area or around a club area I attend, if I see something in their profile that looks to suit, I send a constructive, non offence message and face photo only! No dick pics….
Now I get it people need attraction, but perhaps I’m
Missing something here. I don’t even get a no thanks, or check out my profile, maybe females and couples get so many messages that they simply delete?
A few yrs ago, people would interact, even simply for a chat. Just don’t see what the point of Fab is now!
Perhaps it’s me? "
I will check your profile before fully reading your message and looking at your profile it’s not one I would respond to.
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"I dont blame women not replying , if a woman likes what shes sees she will respond , survival of the fittest lol "
It comes down to this, as brutal as it may be.
If I am not attracted, I will not respond, unless:
a) I’m really bored
b) the message is really nice and it made me laugh or react in a positive way
I might reply and say thanks but I wouldn’t be meeting you as I don’t find you physically attractive. But sometimes that response gets me abuse so most of the time I don’t bother.
I personally would choose a more flattering photo for your profile. OP. Not edited or anything, just a better photo? The one now isn’t attractive in any way. |
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"Im sorry but no matter what the site says no reply is not a no thabk you.
No reply is a selfish rude ignorant person being self important.
That you cant get away from.
If you have children do you teach them its ok to ignore people when they talk to them (assuming they know the person and its not a strangwr).
I know the excuses are busy (if you can open a message you can reply, it takes 5 seconds) or "i have too many messages". All you have to do is use your filters to minimise messages.
As usual people dont take responsibility (before people pick up on my username im not perfect but i accept it have learnt).
I dont bother messaging anyone anymore. I believe if some doesnt reply under the guise of no reply is no thank you thhey arent a nice person.
And no this response is not because my ego hurt or i cant take rejection... its because i simply beileve in manners and common courtesy.
Ps when ive said you in the above its not aimed at anyone specific.
Pps. Feel frew to reply direct to me and i wont block anyone who has an opinion that differs to mine"
It doesn’t take 5 seconds to reply to 100 single men. You underestimate how much time it takes to reply to everyone
Xx  |
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