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Menopause
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By *ocra OP Couple 19 weeks ago
blackpool |
Hi guys and girls
I knew sex would reduce during the menopause but twice in 5 years?
Wife has completely gone off it.
Anybody else struggle
Marriage good or comfortable some would say
Anybody else similar and going through this |
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"So how are you guys going to support your wives?"
I wish I knew, bluntly. She's not ever been very sexual anyway, and is reluctant to take HRT thru family history of cancer. Everything outside of sex is fine...but 6 years is a long time to go without sex. |
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By *aandLoCouple 19 weeks ago
Southampton |
Entirely from my own experience but I'll share my thoughts.
-HRT is not a cure all. It doesn't come with a guarantee to increase a woman's libido.
-She has to feel unhappy about the lack of sex herself, and want to change that. I used to say it wouldn't matter if Jack Davenport was in my bed, I'd rather read my book.
-I was scared to show J affection as he might think I wanted sex, I didn't.
-It takes a lot of talking to get through it and improve things. And it's a literal landmine scattered subject where you need to walk very carefully. And if you come across as accusatory or demanding you'll be blown sky high. Aah, fuck it, honestly the tone of your voice could set off mines 😬😂 |
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The thought of sex physically makes me feel sick, been prescribed HRT but havent started it yet, luckily im single so dont have a man to keep satisfied.
Menopause is horrible and believe me sex is probably the last thing on a womans mind, read up on it! |
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By *ehimusCouple 19 weeks ago
Beverley |
Love the honesty. As male half i do find the lack of closeness difficult. I do try been suggestive but realise it will only happen when the feels right. It would be nice to know that in time things will get better ? |
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"Love the honesty. As male half i do find the lack of closeness difficult. I do try been suggestive but realise it will only happen when the feels right. It would be nice to know that in time things will get better ?"
Who knows?
I get its hard for men but its harder for the women theres no right or wrong answer and every woman is different and has different symptoms, its not as easy feeling as we do. |
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I’ve been in a sexless marriage for years (he’s the one not interested)
I’ve been in perimenopause for about 4 years now but it’s been the last one or so where I could happily take or leave sex. When I was younger I was horny most of the time. It was very uncomfortable! 😂😂😂
I still enjoy sex a lot when it happens but I don’t feel like it or think about it all the time. |
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"
-It takes a lot of talking to get through it and improve things. And it's a literal landmine scattered subject where you need to walk very carefully. And if you come across as accusatory or demanding you'll be blown sky high. Aah, fuck it, honestly the tone of your voice could set off mines 😬😂"
I relate to this so much! I have to mask at work even though at times I do feel like slapping people, hard! But at home, it all comes out onto my partner, sadly. It has been the eggshells for quite a while, very much not helped by the fact that I got diagnosed with type 2 diabetes at the end of August last year. I go from tearful to angry in a split second, and constantly feeling tired is not helping. Finally went to GP today to ask to go back on HRT (I came off it last year, as I wanted to see if the symptoms I was experiencing were due to perimenopause or faulty coil), got prescribed tablets as patches weren't working for me, kept coming off. Let's see if my moods improve.
And I very much agree with Aviatrix, every woman experiences perimenopause/menopause differently, and not everyone has the "classic" symptoms of hot flushes and loss of libido. It's getting better now, regarding more information being available on the subject and it being discussed more openly, but still more openness is needed, in relationships, too. The problem is, when all of a sudden your body doesn't feel like your own any more, where do you stand? How do you explain that to others, in a way they could understand? |
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By *aandLoCouple 19 weeks ago
Southampton |
So true Miss Devil, symptoms vary from woman to woman. Apparently there are more than 100 different reported symptoms. It's finding the assistance that helps you as an individual.
Whether that's HRT, supplements, exercise, or other coping techniques. And the things that work change over time too, e.g for me that meant accepting the supplements didn't work any more and going on HRT.
IMO until a regime that improves a woman's general state of mind and health is in place, sex is the last thing on the list 😬 |
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By *ehimusCouple 19 weeks ago
Beverley |
So as a guy and having no idea .. do I. Wait until partner shows interest in fun herself , do I still keep suggesting myself , even if i know not happening. I'd really like to do what's best but reading here all the mood swings and me saying wrong thing without knowing it, they all daily 🫣. |
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"So as a guy and having no idea .. do I. Wait until partner shows interest in fun herself , do I still keep suggesting myself , even if i know not happening. I'd really like to do what's best but reading here all the mood swings and me saying wrong thing without knowing it, they all daily 🫣. "
Have a look through your chosen browser for Dr Brendan McCarthy, his podcast called "Helping Men Understand Menopause". I came across him by accident, but he's explaining things in simple terms. I would just try and get your wife to open up about what she's experiencing, without any pressure or judgement.
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By *ocra OP Couple 19 weeks ago
blackpool |
"Entirely from my own experience but I'll share my thoughts.
-HRT is not a cure all. It doesn't come with a guarantee to increase a woman's libido.
-She has to feel unhappy about the lack of sex herself, and want to change that. I used to say it wouldn't matter if Jack Davenport was in my bed, I'd rather read my book.
-I was scared to show J affection as he might think I wanted sex, I didn't.
-It takes a lot of talking to get through it and improve things. And it's a literal landmine scattered subject where you need to walk very carefully. And if you come across as accusatory or demanding you'll be blown sky high. Aah, fuck it, honestly the tone of your voice could set off mines 😬😂"
Thank you for this answer. Much appreciated as this is from a women.
It's like leading a seperate life and anxiety and ADHD has come out in wife. Im very supportive by the way and she has downloaded the balance app. You could be right about hrt |
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By *ocra OP Couple 19 weeks ago
blackpool |
"The thought of sex physically makes me feel sick, been prescribed HRT but havent started it yet, luckily im single so dont have a man to keep satisfied.
Menopause is horrible and believe me sex is probably the last thing on a womans mind, read up on it! "
I have. I'm a pt so have encouraged strength exercise and healthy diet. Also got wife to download balance app |
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By *ocra OP Couple 19 weeks ago
blackpool |
"I’ve been in a sexless marriage for years (he’s the one not interested)
I’ve been in perimenopause for about 4 years now but it’s been the last one or so where I could happily take or leave sex. When I was younger I was horny most of the time. It was very uncomfortable! 😂😂😂
I still enjoy sex a lot when it happens but I don’t feel like it or think about it all the time. "
Thanks for your honesty this is all great knowledge |
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By *ocra OP Couple 19 weeks ago
blackpool |
"
-It takes a lot of talking to get through it and improve things. And it's a literal landmine scattered subject where you need to walk very carefully. And if you come across as accusatory or demanding you'll be blown sky high. Aah, fuck it, honestly the tone of your voice could set off mines 😬😂
I relate to this so much! I have to mask at work even though at times I do feel like slapping people, hard! But at home, it all comes out onto my partner, sadly. It has been the eggshells for quite a while, very much not helped by the fact that I got diagnosed with type 2 diabetes at the end of August last year. I go from tearful to angry in a split second, and constantly feeling tired is not helping. Finally went to GP today to ask to go back on HRT (I came off it last year, as I wanted to see if the symptoms I was experiencing were due to perimenopause or faulty coil), got prescribed tablets as patches weren't working for me, kept coming off. Let's see if my moods improve.
And I very much agree with Aviatrix, every woman experiences perimenopause/menopause differently, and not everyone has the "classic" symptoms of hot flushes and loss of libido. It's getting better now, regarding more information being available on the subject and it being discussed more openly, but still more openness is needed, in relationships, too. The problem is, when all of a sudden your body doesn't feel like your own any more, where do you stand? How do you explain that to others, in a way they could understand? "
This is amazing and so honest
Great knowledge
Thank you
Have you downloaded the balance app |
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By *ertcoupleCouple 19 weeks ago
Welwyn Garden City |
The problem is I'm always too hot and tired!!! I know it's no fun for hubby, it's no fun for me either as I love him and love making love with him, got to say he's so understanding and supportive  |
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By *ocra OP Couple 19 weeks ago
blackpool |
"
-It takes a lot of talking to get through it and improve things. And it's a literal landmine scattered subject where you need to walk very carefully. And if you come across as accusatory or demanding you'll be blown sky high. Aah, fuck it, honestly the tone of your voice could set off mines 😬😂
I relate to this so much! I have to mask at work even though at times I do feel like slapping people, hard! But at home, it all comes out onto my partner, sadly. It has been the eggshells for quite a while, very much not helped by the fact that I got diagnosed with type 2 diabetes at the end of August last year. I go from tearful to angry in a split second, and constantly feeling tired is not helping. Finally went to GP today to ask to go back on HRT (I came off it last year, as I wanted to see if the symptoms I was experiencing were due to perimenopause or faulty coil), got prescribed tablets as patches weren't working for me, kept coming off. Let's see if my moods improve.
And I very much agree with Aviatrix, every woman experiences perimenopause/menopause differently, and not everyone has the "classic" symptoms of hot flushes and loss of libido. It's getting better now, regarding more information being available on the subject and it being discussed more openly, but still more openness is needed, in relationships, too. The problem is, when all of a sudden your body doesn't feel like your own any more, where do you stand? How do you explain that to others, in a way they could understand? "
This is amazing thank you |
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By *riel13Woman 19 weeks ago
Northampton |
"Hi guys and girls
I knew sex would reduce during the menopause but twice in 5 years?
Wife has completely gone off it.
Anybody else struggle
Marriage good or comfortable some would say
Anybody else similar and going through this "
Yet you have a couples profile  |
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By *sm265Woman 19 weeks ago
Perthshire |
"Hi guys and girls
I knew sex would reduce during the menopause but twice in 5 years?
Wife has completely gone off it.
Anybody else struggle
Marriage good or comfortable some would say
Anybody else similar and going through this
Yet you have a couples profile "
With multiple verifications from the past 5 years!
Ultimately perimenopause and menopause can be an absolutely hellish time for many women and it impacts significantly on far more than just her sex drive!
I'd suggest reading up on it from reliable sources (rather than a swingers forum), and getting a proper understanding of what she is potentially dealing with, would be a good starting point. Make it about supporting her mental and physical wellbeing, not about the fact you dont feel like you're getting enough sex. |
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By *ocra OP Couple 19 weeks ago
blackpool |
"Hi guys and girls
I knew sex would reduce during the menopause but twice in 5 years?
Wife has completely gone off it.
Anybody else struggle
Marriage good or comfortable some would say
Anybody else similar and going through this
Yet you have a couples profile "
I don't get the relevance. Would it be better as a single male! |
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By *ocra OP Couple 19 weeks ago
blackpool |
"Hi guys and girls
I knew sex would reduce during the menopause but twice in 5 years?
Wife has completely gone off it.
Anybody else struggle
Marriage good or comfortable some would say
Anybody else similar and going through this
Yet you have a couples profile
With multiple verifications from the past 5 years!
Ultimately perimenopause and menopause can be an absolutely hellish time for many women and it impacts significantly on far more than just her sex drive!
I'd suggest reading up on it from reliable sources (rather than a swingers forum), and getting a proper understanding of what she is potentially dealing with, would be a good starting point. Make it about supporting her mental and physical wellbeing, not about the fact you dont feel like you're getting enough sex. "
Please read my replies above . I wasn't saying I wasn't getting enough however I wanted a greater understanding of the subject. I go to andropause and support my wife to menopause groups as well as both downloaded the balance app. Changing to a better diet and including strength based exercise to my wife which are all important during the menopause.
The more info I get the better for both of us |
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By *ocra OP Couple 19 weeks ago
blackpool |
"Hi guys and girls
I knew sex would reduce during the menopause but twice in 5 years?
Wife has completely gone off it.
Anybody else struggle
Marriage good or comfortable some would say
Anybody else similar and going through this
Yet you have a couples profile
With multiple verifications from the past 5 years!
Ultimately perimenopause and menopause can be an absolutely hellish time for many women and it impacts significantly on far more than just her sex drive!
I'd suggest reading up on it from reliable sources (rather than a swingers forum), and getting a proper understanding of what she is potentially dealing with, would be a good starting point. Make it about supporting her mental and physical wellbeing, not about the fact you dont feel like you're getting enough sex. "
Verifications don't mean having sex. We have friends who swing and enjoy the lifestyle without the physical side nowadays. Thanks for your input though |
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By *sm265Woman 19 weeks ago
Perthshire |
"Hi guys and girls
I knew sex would reduce during the menopause but twice in 5 years?
Wife has completely gone off it.
Anybody else struggle
Marriage good or comfortable some would say
Anybody else similar and going through this
Yet you have a couples profile
With multiple verifications from the past 5 years!
Ultimately perimenopause and menopause can be an absolutely hellish time for many women and it impacts significantly on far more than just her sex drive!
I'd suggest reading up on it from reliable sources (rather than a swingers forum), and getting a proper understanding of what she is potentially dealing with, would be a good starting point. Make it about supporting her mental and physical wellbeing, not about the fact you dont feel like you're getting enough sex.
Please read my replies above . I wasn't saying I wasn't getting enough however I wanted a greater understanding of the subject. I go to andropause and support my wife to menopause groups as well as both downloaded the balance app. Changing to a better diet and including strength based exercise to my wife which are all important during the menopause.
The more info I get the better for both of us"
That wasn't how your OP came across at all, you made it about lack of sex rather than a general enquiry about perimenopause/menopause symptoms. Granted your replies did expand on things, but a lot of people wont read the whole thread.
Your wife will probably be experiencing many symptoms due to the drop in hormone levels, there's so much more involved than mood swings and hot flushes.... extreme joint pain, inflammation and stiffness, overwhelming fatigue but also insomnia, sudden onset of anxiety, dental pain, vertigo, skin itchiness, restless leg syndrome, bladder issues, hair loss, breast pain, brain fog/memory issues, dry eyes/watery eyes..... the list goes on and on. Diet and exercise can certainly help with some symptoms, supplements and hrt can help with others, sadly a lot of them we just have to put up with and hope that they wont last forever.
Patience, understanding and love will undoubtedly help, and counting your many blessings. Trust me its much harder for her than it is for you.
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My experience with menopause has been completely different and has sent my libido sky rocketing. I'm on HRT, I take Maccaroot and ashwagandha too (they work extremely well like a female viagra on me). I'm lucky that HRT has completely stopped all menopause symptoms and if the Dr ever thinks of trying to take me off it I'll fight them tooth and nail! : |
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"So how are you guys going to support your wives?
I wish I knew, bluntly. She's not ever been very sexual anyway, and is reluctant to take HRT thru family history of cancer. Everything outside of sex is fine...but 6 years is a long time to go without sex."
HRT and its risks has changed enormously over the past few years |
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We’ve met so many couples 40’s 50’s 60’s who’ve got into swinging within a year or two of a new relationship.
Why is that? Maybe because sex is high on the agenda when you begin a new relationship.
Perhaps we put too much emphasis on a woman’s sex drive diminishing because of the menopause.
Perhaps it’s because sex can become boring in long term relationships unless we make a serious effort to spice it up! |
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By *ocra OP Couple 19 weeks ago
blackpool |
"My experience with menopause has been completely different and has sent my libido sky rocketing. I'm on HRT, I take Maccaroot and ashwagandha too (they work extremely well like a female viagra on me). I'm lucky that HRT has completely stopped all menopause symptoms and if the Dr ever thinks of trying to take me off it I'll fight them tooth and nail! :"
Thank you and we will look at the supplements. The wife takes nmn, CBD patches and is on hrt but not sure if it works. Thank you for your reply |
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By *ocra OP Couple 19 weeks ago
blackpool |
"We’ve met so many couples 40’s 50’s 60’s who’ve got into swinging within a year or two of a new relationship.
Why is that? Maybe because sex is high on the agenda when you begin a new relationship.
Perhaps we put too much emphasis on a woman’s sex drive diminishing because of the menopause.
Perhaps it’s because sex can become boring in long term relationships unless we make a serious effort to spice it up!"
100% |
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By *aandLoCouple 19 weeks ago
Southampton |
"Guys should bring younger lads with a good stamina in bed for their wives to awaken bring back their libido "
My initial thought was a ignorant young lad wrote this, but no a fully grown man...supposedly. |
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