FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Well....shit!
Well....shit!
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Bit of a moan, but having built up the confidence totry some new things been more active.
Someone messages me, comes on super strong, organise to meet, drive out and as soon as I'm parked in town go te message that I'm going for a drink so let me know what's up as I hadn't heard from them but I was a little early,only to find out they've blocked me.
I'm sure it happens lots, to lots of people, but damn, at least I got a half of good beer and did something brave.
Going to sit a little longer and enjoy taking a chance, even if it didn't work out. Hope you're all having better luck. |
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By *vie1967Couple 14 weeks ago
hayling island |
We take it all with a pinch of salt. It's the Internet after all. We had the same with another couple. Arranged to meet then some cock and bull story about why they couldn't, oddly the next day they have a new verification from someone else.
We get lots of messages showing interest for a few messages, then just get ghosted. As already mentioned, it's the Internet, what would one expect |
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By *abulincsCouple 14 weeks ago
near a bridge |
We got used to it almost expect it lol
Once turned up guys house see get up go to back of property,ring doorbell several times 5 minutes later get in car start reversing out of drive comes running out ,saying come in come in , keep driving calls us saying he needed to put a shirt on we see he definitely had one on lol
It’s ok only 11/2 each way |
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All very true.
And for just a second of self-pity, more annoyed than anything. Was a big step, seeing if it's my thing in real life and not just a fantasy.
But you know what, I had a lovely half of great beer, and proved to myself I can put myself out there and take a chance rather than lurk waiting for life to come get me.
Clubs are something I'd try, but only just about scratched up the confidence for this, think I'd be a bag of nerves walking into a whole building of people.  |
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"All very true.
And for just a second of self-pity, more annoyed than anything. Was a big step, seeing if it's my thing in real life and not just a fantasy.
But you know what, I had a lovely half of great beer, and proved to myself I can put myself out there and take a chance rather than lurk waiting for life to come get me.
Clubs are something I'd try, but only just about scratched up the confidence for this, think I'd be a bag of nerves walking into a whole building of people. "
Well done mate, don’t let it get to you. It sounds like their loss. |
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The way we see it mate. Everyone is in their own heads and they are worried about themselves.
Truth be told. Who gives a shit? Nobody except you.
I'm just trying to not bump into someone or hit a door or something and the missus is trying to keep her goods all in 1 place.
You'll be surprised how quickly the nerves leave and you start having fun.
As long as you are sociable and have 0 expectations. You will have fun in one way or another.
Also I like your approach. We would see it the same way. More time for us. Get a few drinks in. Laugh at someone spilling their beer and off we go haha. 🤣 |
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By *vie1967Couple 14 weeks ago
hayling island |
"All very true.
And for just a second of self-pity, more annoyed than anything. Was a big step, seeing if it's my thing in real life and not just a fantasy.
But you know what, I had a lovely half of great beer, and proved to myself I can put myself out there and take a chance rather than lurk waiting for life to come get me.
Clubs are something I'd try, but only just about scratched up the confidence for this, think I'd be a bag of nerves walking into a whole building of people. "
That's what we thought, but you will be surprised how friendly the places are, give it a go |
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I think I've surprised myself already a few times in the last 24 hours, agreeing to go out of my comfort zone, following through despite the nerves, and then feeling very zen about being messed about, so who knows, maybe there's more to me than I thought.
The best thing I've found out tonight though is how nice and grounded people can be on here. Thanks, all of you. If I'm honest posted this sitting with my beer as a way to shout into the void. Really touched how nice everyone is, can't all be bad ones aye. |
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By *egnMaxCouple 14 weeks ago
East Midlands |
You’ve got to be in it to win it.
Glad you’re seizing the day my friend and keep putting yourself out there.
Sorry tonight didn’t work out for you but sounds like you’ve still got something out of doing it.
Good luck.
Max |
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That must have taken some pluck to put yourself out there. You’ll have to chalk this one up to experience, but the good thing is it will be easier when you try again.
We have been on here for a while now and we have been so very lucky to have met the people we have. There are good, genuine people on here, don’t fear. Of course there are some losers too, buts that’s why they’re called losers, they loose out!
Have fun out there  |
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Well yeah. Sucks doesn’t it? We were stood up by TWO guys for separate social meets this evening. Husband so fed up with timewasters like this on fab he actually wants to quit the LS…
If you are a SM in East Midlands without an excessive beard and a decent mush body then reply here. But only if you’re prepared to meet!! |
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"Exactly why we only play in clubs. Can't be let down if you can't be let down. 🤣
It's like tinder hook ups. Only met with disappointment and ghosters. 🤣"
Same happened to me
Looks like clubs the way to meet genuine people |
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It's very bad form to fully arrange and then not to turn up.
Please report inappropriate behaviour from others, to Admin, who always investigate. You can still report a profile, even when it's blocked |
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Absolutely know this feeling. Happened a couple of times when I was a single male. And probably would have to us as a couple too if we did arrange private meets on here (generally club/party swingers). It's the nature of the beast (and why we rarely arrange meets on here). But it's disappointing, disrespectful and just shitty. And of course life happens or its totally ok to change your mind but when someone then ghosts you or blocks you without explanation that's so out of order. Sorry to hear you've had this happen.
I like you your attitude to the situation. Roll with the punches and make the best of the time/location. When I was a single guy on here I was also a single parent to very young kids. So I remember spending a really nice night in a hotel room after a last minute drop out enjoying room service, a bottle of wine and just peace and quiet. So all was not lost because it was still a lovely evening.
Hopefully today is not a dead loss and you have a nice afternoon or meet someone out old school or even find another meet on here. Either/or I hope you have a lovely afternoon.
Mr |
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By *cgmcgMan 14 weeks ago
kingston |
All of us have been there..nervous for first few meets, and many of us have been there...let down on first meet.
It's shit, but par for the course. There are some Wannabees on here and way too many catfish.
So, my own rules...approach any new meet with zero expectations; swap face pic before meet; suggest phone number swap and see reaction; always get there on time; wait no more than 10 minutes; don't get mad if they don't turn up, just chalk up another one to the trolls. |
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It sadly happens regularly now on here op.
Please report them to admin, you can still do so if blocked.
Also I wouldn't set off, unless someome kept in touch and confirmed the meet was going ahead.
Some unfortunately get off on wasting people's time now. |
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Apologies this happened to you OP… people are just dicks, sadly the anonymity of the internet enables such behaviour without consequence.
At least you can say you put yourself out there and went to “shoot your shot” unfortunately on some occasions you will miss more than you’ll hit.
Your scenario is here is the very reason why I & many of the other commenters stick to clubs for meeting people. |
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I’m so sorry to hear about this. Weirdly, we have a thing now where we always have a plan b in case plan a didn’t happen. At least no hotels were paid for or club entrance fees. I genuinely know all about it as we’ve been let down as well. However, it’s amazing that you’ve given it a go and you’ve just got to keep putting yourself out there. Honestly, we go into clubs and it feels like we’ve gone back in time to when we were much younger and we don’t know what to do or say and get awkward xx |
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"Honestly, we go into clubs and it feels like we’ve gone back in time to when we were much younger and we don’t know what to do or say and get awkward xx"
We're much the same. We don't enjoy nightclubs and most clubs that we've been to evenings at are very nightclubby. It takes all our social energy just to try and talk to people over the noise, and we find we have no energy left to even think about play.
The general advice of "meet at a club, then if they don't show you still have a nice night out" doesn't apply to us as we don't have a nice time |
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By *WANDTGCouple 14 weeks ago
Borough of Greenwich |
Similar to what someone wrote above, we always arrange a social around shopping or a meal out, so if there's a no show we would have been shopping or having a bite to eat, that's why we normally meet at weekends. |
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Still blown away by the support everyone, if I didn't manage to get blown on the night.
Really glad I reached out, and made me a lot more confident about standing my ground about things like people asking for contact details straight away, people with no pictures asking to see more pictures. Hey we're all on here to feel good about ourselves which takes different forms but you get to have that too.
And the half was pretty good, three blind mice brewery stout, can't remember that name but was lovely.  |
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Mate wait till you get sent to the wrong address then blocked. Or a hotel room and you’re stood in the corridor like a twat knocking. Hearing the whole corridor peeking from behind the peepholes  as you walk away in shame. |
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"Mate wait till you get sent to the wrong address then blocked. Or a hotel room and you’re stood in the corridor like a twat knocking. Hearing the whole corridor peeking from behind the peepholes as you walk away in shame. "
Another reason why we generally meet at our place.
Honestly, even though more than half don't show, we're always amazed when a guy does turn up what with the risk of us being fake and sending him to some random address somewhere! |
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