FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Remove link to partners profile?
Remove link to partners profile?
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By *enk15 OP Man 12 weeks ago
Evesham |
Hello good folks!
So my Wife joined FAB a while ago, I have her profile mentioned in my bio, but since joining she hasn't really bothered with it and hasn't logged in for a while.
We also made a couples profile, just because we wanted to. That profile hasn't done anything, and we don't message anyone from it.
Now, after a bizarre conversation with someone yesterday who accused me of having a fake couples profile and making my wife's profile behind her back... Should I remove the mentions of these profiles? Would people find it suspicious?
I only ever message from my singles profile, for meets only with me.
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We had similar.
As a couple i log on every day, Claire has to be in the mood.
Her single profile got so many crass msgs it put her off so we deleted it. Now I just mention things to her when I think something would interested her. |
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By *enk15 OP Man 12 weeks ago
Evesham |
"Whenever I'm faced with a dilemma such as this I think how many people haven't mentioned it compared to how many have and make my decision from there.
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I thought this but not everyone who is put off by it will say so, they will just delete and move on. 🤷♂️
But the alternative would be to just mention I have a wife in my Bio which is probably met with just as much suspicion 😅
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"Whenever I'm faced with a dilemma such as this I think how many people haven't mentioned it compared to how many have and make my decision from there.
I thought this but not everyone who is put off by it will say so, they will just delete and move on. 🤷♂️
But the alternative would be to just mention I have a wife in my Bio which is probably met with just as much suspicion 😅
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You're on the horns of a dilemma I can see that .
My opinion which isn't worth the screen it's typed on, is that your profile as is shows a transparency that I find admirable. That's no help to you I know but I surely can't be the only person who thinks that way. |
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By *enk15 OP Man 12 weeks ago
Evesham |
"
You're on the horns of a dilemma I can see that .
My opinion which isn't worth the screen it's typed on, is that your profile as is shows a transparency that I find admirable. That's no help to you I know but I surely can't be the only person who thinks that way. "
Thank you ❤️ I think I will keep it as it is. |
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"Whenever I'm faced with a dilemma such as this I think how many people haven't mentioned it compared to how many have and make my decision from there.
I thought this but not everyone who is put off by it will say so, they will just delete and move on. 🤷♂️
But the alternative would be to just mention I have a wife in my Bio which is probably met with just as much suspicion 😅"
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I agree with the above comment but you could always add the URL to this thread in your profile. That might shut down some of the 'doubting Thomases' on here. 🙂 |
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When we first started out we got really hung up on proving that we are real and genuine, to the point of going on cam regularly.
Now we are like MEH !
Tbh we are coming to the end of swinging journey and she has a couple of hundred veris on her account and we have a good number as a couple so not that fussed.
But if she's not using hers and same with your couples profile just close them or just hide them.
It would be great if the site had the option to hibernate an account so we could obscure it's presence completely and the only way to use it would be to reactive it with site password.
People forget that a couples verified account HAS to have picture sent to admin of the both of you holding a paper dated and with your username on it. |
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You could approach it like I/we have... Both our singles profiles and couples profiles mention that the other profiles exist and partner knows about it... But we don't name those profiles or "link"to them.
Generally they each serve different "markets" someone going to my single male profile isn't interested in looking at the couples profile and vice versa. The only reason we mention in the profile that the others exist is so that people understand how our relationship functions, because some people do care if the wife of a married man knows what he is up to.
It would be trivial for someone to join the dots and find the other profile if that so interests them, but very very few people care enough to do that. |
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As a fellow ENM person and someone who considers singles as well as couples and more, I love a cross-reference or mentions of other partners that may be available. I suspect the person who made the accusations is not too comfortable with open relationships, and certainly not familiar with the running of multiple accounts. Yes there are some sockpuppet accounts out there but yours are not them, lots of tell-tale signs...including, ironically, your wife having totally abandoned her account 😅 |
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"Hello good folks!
So my Wife joined FAB a while ago, I have her profile mentioned in my bio, but since joining she hasn't really bothered with it and hasn't logged in for a while.
We also made a couples profile, just because we wanted to. That profile hasn't done anything, and we don't message anyone from it.
Now, after a bizarre conversation with someone yesterday who accused me of having a fake couples profile and making my wife's profile behind her back... Should I remove the mentions of these profiles? Would people find it suspicious?
I only ever message from my singles profile, for meets only with me.
"
People are idiots. 
I don't understand how people can run around and have the time and energy to accuse strangers of things.
But maybe it's because I'm autistic and I meet couples in socials and at clubs First!!
I don't have time, money, energy or autistic spoons to waste with accusers.
Trust is earnt so I have nothing to prove to blatant strangers!! The audacity thet have to accuse you and then assume that they are entitled to their own personal proof that you are a real couple.
Autistic ick for demanding entitled people.
You have done nothing wrong OP.
I have 2 male partners whose wives do not really get deeply and highly involved in the scene for various personal reasons and it's nobody's business why those wives do not want/need to be so active. We had a social meet and a video call first and they explained their understanding of the whole situation.
Real authentic people won't be accusing you of anything. |
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"Also I've realised recently that people look for red flags in the wrong place, thereby missing the real ones "
Cackle.
I believe nothing online until I've met the person ( couple) in person several times and in different scenarios!!
I don't ask who is married in clubs as it's a less personal experience. But anyone who wants to meet me out of clubs and enter the poly pod, I need to know if they are married and lying, cheating, omitting or withholding the truth.
I've had a girlfriend approach me on Fab because the man I played with in the club omitted that he was married and he had a girlfriend and that his wife is not part of the swinging scene. It creates suspicion if you are in a committed relationship. He was panicked. She upset and believed he was lying and I was chilled.
I've known the man quite well from the clubs so us regulars view him as a "safe" club and social guy but the club is not a partnership or a committed relationship. Expectations are different.
Standards and the risks are higher if someone is meeting you at a hotel or at your home or at their home.
to fully assess the red flags, I need to meet the person in person to sense with all my 8 senses. Lol! If they trigger my austistic ick, that's a red flag for me. It's not a definite but it's an evaluation necessary.
and inactive profile is not a red flag for me because it's only assessed by my visual. |
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