FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Normal meets.
Normal meets.
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By (user no longer on site) OP 12 weeks ago
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Do normal meets still happen anymore where a single male can meet a couple or female away from events or clubs? Still trying to get the first meet under my belt? |
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Some people are of the opinion that organised socials and clubs are the way to go. Although we have attended several organised socials we've never taken things further with anyone we've met there. All of our meets came from messages on fab. |
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Yes, people still meet through here, as far as I'm aware, but women and couples pay great attention to profiles, and they have loads to choose from so they can afford to be picky. Is your profile, OP, making you stand out from all the other thousands of men looking to meet women and couples? Does it tell them everything you'd like them to know about you and what you can "bring to the party"? |
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Also, from a single woman perspective, clubs are much safer than either meeting someone at theirs or inviting them over to mine, once the initial attraction has been established. Also, if the person does not turn up, there are other people in the club that may be a good replacement. |
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Not sure what you think in your profile is so much better than the 1000s of other male profiles.
Why is a couple/female going to be interested in you compared to someone with a full profile text and some good verifications? |
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"Yes they do
Oh right ok just that when ever I say I dont attend socials or anything like that it seems frowned upon "
There isn’t a right or wrong way to do Fab. There is just the way that works for you. I almost never attend socials. They are just not for me. I do ok on here.
Don’t pay too much heed to “advice” on the forums. Most people’s circumstances will be different to yours and they will be looking at the world through their lens. Their “advice” will reflect that worldview. |
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By *G LanaTV/TS 12 weeks ago
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Absolutely meets do occur without involving clubs or socials but as Miss Devil said they offer a degree of safety to people. I now mostly meet at events as the rate of no shows or being sent on wild goose chases for private meets was getting just too high. |
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"Do normal meets still happen anymore where a single male can meet a couple or female away from events or clubs? Still trying to get the first meet under my belt?"
Only 3 weeks in and already getting disheartened? There's no hope for you! 😂 |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 12 weeks ago
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"Do normal meets still happen anymore where a single male can meet a couple or female away from events or clubs? Still trying to get the first meet under my belt?
Only 3 weeks in and already getting disheartened? There's no hope for you! 😂"
Not getting disheartened at all. I thought thats what this forum was for asking questions and getting advice |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 12 weeks ago
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Well just had a message to say " will not get anywhere in this area unless I attend the socials and join the group". Well i didn't know i had to be in the inner circle to get a.meet  |
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Yes "normal meets" do happen. If they didn't I would have departed from these shores a long time ago.
I only meet women for one-to-one dates. I don't do clubs or group play or similar; it's not my scene because I'm not a swinger. |
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We like a social and usually on neutral ground
So we wonder what you are gonna do without one ?
Knock on a door, that someone your dont know has messaged you the address ?
We've met people and its been months before we get a date in the diary
We've met people and never got a second round of drinks in , because were gonna be off to get it on
We do well with single ladies because we build up their feeling of safety
So a social is definitely important to us |
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Yes, they happen.
It's hard for guys. Very hard. It's much harder for unverified guys.
The clubs/social advice is given out a lot, because it's extremely easy to get a verification that way. Show up (be invited, for some socials), don't be a dick, ask someone. Boom, verification.
Does that open you up to a whole world of endless meets? No. There are many more guys than women or couples here. It just removes one of many impediments.
My guess is most people prefer private meets over clubs and socials - but clubs and socials are the lowest bar to entry (other than money, in the case of a club). |
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"Do normal meets still happen anymore where a single male can meet a couple or female away from events or clubs? Still trying to get the first meet under my belt?"
They do happen. We have done it a couple of times.
We prefer couples. I would say make your profile stand out.
Good luck |
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"Absolutely meets do occur without involving clubs or socials but as Miss Devil said they offer a degree of safety to people. I now mostly meet at events as the rate of no shows or being sent on wild goose chases for private meets was getting just too high. "
This. Not to mention the safety risk as a woman/transwoman! Read one transwoman was having to navigate men not being sober for private meets at their house or her house ugh! Wasted time and journeys.
Even if I don't play in a club I still have fun and relax so never a wasted journey and once I got to know the regulars we always get up to some shenanigans or the other.   . |
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"Yes "normal meets" do happen. If they didn't I would have departed from these shores a long time ago.
I only meet women for one-to-one dates. I don't do clubs or group play or similar; it's not my scene because I'm not a swinger."
But I met out at a social.  Lord Nero. tiddley fibs.
lol! not a swinger on a swinger site. My autistic brain cannot compute. |
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"Most of our meets have been arranged outside of a club recently. It seems to be the more favourable way for us. But we do attend clubs most weekends too x
Mrs x"
Yeah but you are a couple with lots of verifications.
Single men get the short straw.
If I were honest, a lot of us have single man fatigue on here which is why I close my filters to single men unless I have a special day/event for them. It's absolutely exhausting to deal with single men on this site. There are far more of them and far more of them that are desperate than there are grounded, balanced, stable people!!
Unfortunately, it's a case of Peter pays for Paul and Paul pays for all. |
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"Try being 77 As well then moan no one wants us oldens lol"
I say this I can't shag anyone who reminds me of my dad or my (unborn) child. My autistic brain won't allow it.
I'm not old enough to be in the adult grandchild category, but I'm sure I'll have the same feeling if I get that old. The feeling being the autistic ick.  |
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"Do normal meets still happen anymore where a single male can meet a couple or female away from events or clubs? Still trying to get the first meet under my belt?"
No. Never. Rarely. Occasionally. Actually no. Normal meets? Lol
That gave me a good chuckle brothers chuckle.
Do not message anyone. Don't waste your time. Look out for groups or private parties or better yet just use it as information portal for parties. Not clubs. They hate single guys. It's brutal for single guys on here and I'm not quiet sure why there's so many paying to message people that will never message back. You're better off going down the pub or seriously signing up to professional dating apps. At least you will get results that way.
Hope this helps... And bless. 
Normal meets he said *giggles* |
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"Do normal meets still happen anymore where a single male can meet a couple or female away from events or clubs? Still trying to get the first meet under my belt?"
"Normal" meets happen....we very rarely do clubs and get little interest from couples/women so almost all our meets are single guys and almost all at our home.
BUT we don't meet guys that don't have their own meet verifications to prove that they actually leave the house and turn up for things. Those verifications could have been gained at clubs or socials if they can't get "normal" meets.... |
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They do happen and very often. If you're a regular straight male starting off then its tough going and many drop out within weeks. It's important to be realistic and realise challenges. You need to stand out and offer something special.
If someone wants a few drinks and a chat that's fine. Message them. At least you will have a laugh and giggles...and possibly more down the line.
I barely had any meets for months, then started attending socials and got lucky. The key is to not expect much - high expectations and entitlement will ruin many people on here. If you're positive, laid back and non-pushy you will have some joy on here. And if you don't that's fine. Try another approach.
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"Yes they do
Oh right ok just that when ever I say I dont attend socials or anything like that it seems frowned upon "
We have met single guys as a 121 but it can be a nightmare sorting through the strange, delusional people that float around FAB but we have met some really nice guys.
We do prefer socials, clubs and parties as there is more people and you will never be stuck with a bore, you smile and move on.
A couple of the guys we have met from FAB its obvious within a few minutes why they don't do socials etc and why they are single, not just the guys, single women are just as bad.
Good luck.
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Up till last week I would have said, yes, they still happen normally… in 8 years on this site I had never struggled to meet great people, even with meets set on the day.
But last week was an eye-opener. Same filters, same screening process I have followedd for years and years and I was still fooled and stood up three times! This has taken any appetite for meeting really. I think I will just stick to group socials and clubs in the future. |
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"Up till last week I would have said, yes, they still happen normally… in 8 years on this site I had never struggled to meet great people, even with meets set on the day.
But last week was an eye-opener. Same filters, same screening process I have followedd for years and years and I was still fooled and stood up three times! This has taken any appetite for meeting really. I think I will just stick to group socials and clubs in the future. "
This sounds awful. I'm sorry to hear you've had this experience. I don't get why people think it's acceptable to stand someone up. Surely it's common decency to be honest with someone if you have changed your mind. |
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