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Want to visit a club help!
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there will be so many couples who would love to take you along to a club.
we were so nervous the first time - ali didnt make eye contact with anyone, not even the very lovely american lady who finger fucked her in the middle of the bar.
but after a few visits, she was so into it she would go on her own, usually arriving an hour or two before me so she could put on a show.
the main thing is choose the right night - maybe a couples and women only night for your first trip. |
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By *erdyguy45Man 7 days ago
Solihull/milton keynes & other |
"As a single woman… how do you control the nerves to go to a club alone? I really want to go but so nervous! "
I would agree with Alianda. It's good to go with someone the first time. I went with a social group for my first couple clubs and really helped to have friendly faces around.
It reduces the pressure a little but as always go with no expectations and just try to enjoy yourself. |
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The first time i (the fem) went alone (i was single then) i was nervous but loved it. All that freedom was amazing. I'd been with various guys as a couple many times but always limited by that at the time so went alone. The nerves lasted 3 mins if that. I had a fantastic time despite being a very shy, nervous person in real life.
I wouldn't advise you to go with someone else, you will be limited by them so just pluck up courage and go alone  |
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"As a single woman… how do you control the nerves to go to a club alone? I really want to go but so nervous! "
Decided what club and day you want to go to a club and asked if a couple or a lady or guy would like to take you for your first time , but everyone is nervous the first time but you not forced to do anything you can just socialise and chat to others or just watch others having fun and then if you feel like it have some fun yourself, there is no pressure it’s totally up to you . |
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I am nervous every time I go to a club, but once I am through the door, drink in hand I feel much better
Going with someone always makes me feel limited and I have to keep checking they are ok and feel I can’t be as open as I want to |
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On same page as you haha, hopefully find a social that's local to me and find someoe connection and do a club meet. Haven't looked too much into where I cant find a local social yet, event page seems to be club stuff and too far away from midlands |
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As a woman who goes a lot alone the first advice I'd give is go alone or with another solo woman. Don't let a man drive you etc. It's nerve wracking but honestly the freedom to turn up when you want, do what you want and leave when you want with no expectations from anyone else will be so beneficial to you. A solo lady you won't be alone for long. Men and couples will talk to you. Don't feel pressured to keep talking to anyone or do anything if you aren't feeling it. I used the phrase 'I'm just going to take a wonder-mayhe catch up later' or something similar if I'm not feeling it. Enjoy! ❤️ |
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"As a woman who goes a lot alone the first advice I'd give is go alone or with another solo woman. Don't let a man drive you etc. It's nerve wracking but honestly the freedom to turn up when you want, do what you want and leave when you want with no expectations from anyone else will be so beneficial to you. A solo lady you won't be alone for long. Men and couples will talk to you. Don't feel pressured to keep talking to anyone or do anything if you aren't feeling it. I used the phrase 'I'm just going to take a wonder-mayhe catch up later' or something similar if I'm not feeling it. Enjoy! ❤️"
Such rubbish spelling and grammar (sorry 😬) |
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"As a woman who goes a lot alone the first advice I'd give is go alone or with another solo woman. Don't let a man drive you etc. It's nerve wracking but honestly the freedom to turn up when you want, do what you want and leave when you want with no expectations from anyone else will be so beneficial to you. A solo lady you won't be alone for long. Men and couples will talk to you. Don't feel pressured to keep talking to anyone or do anything if you aren't feeling it. I used the phrase 'I'm just going to take a wonder-mayhe catch up later' or something similar if I'm not feeling it. Enjoy! ❤️"
This feels like really sound advice, thanks |
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"As a single woman… how do you control the nerves to go to a club alone? I really want to go but so nervous!
Reading this thread with interest as I'm so curious to check out a club"
Most clubs will give you a tour anyway if you tell them it's your first time. We have had tours at every club we have been to.
I can be daunting when you first go. We just went on a night when there's no event on so it was quiet. That let us get used to the place. We have also taken women with us for there first time so they had someone to talk to, helped them relax a bit. |
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By *ed FlameWoman 7 days ago
South Gloucestershire |
I have always gone to meet someone there so I already have a connection.
Lots of people have said you will feel like you have to stay with the person you meet or go with but I personally prefer that.
I like having a main focus as it makes me feel safer.
That doesn't mean I will not play with others it just helps me personally as I am not a club person really.
I also try to go when no events are on as I don't like it too busy.
Xx |
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"As a woman who goes a lot alone the first advice I'd give is go alone or with another solo woman. Don't let a man drive you etc. It's nerve wracking but honestly the freedom to turn up when you want, do what you want and leave when you want with no expectations from anyone else will be so beneficial to you. A solo lady you won't be alone for long. Men and couples will talk to you. Don't feel pressured to keep talking to anyone or do anything if you aren't feeling it. I used the phrase 'I'm just going to take a wonder-mayhe catch up later' or something similar if I'm not feeling it. Enjoy! ❤️"
This is very good advice. Never go with a guy you barely know, make your own way there and home, don't share a locker, don't let a barely known guy make the 'rules' for you such as 'we only play as a couple'. I've had guys think they can make rules for me plus i know of fems who have shared a locker with a barely known guy and the guy has left without telling her (he was supposed to be giving her a lift home)/left a big bar tab/ took the womans handbag etc. Just be careful. I found club visits alone far safer and more fun when i went completely alone in my early swinging days. Now i have my other half that i go with which is equally fun and safe. |
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"As a woman who goes a lot alone the first advice I'd give is go alone or with another solo woman. Don't let a man drive you etc. It's nerve wracking but honestly the freedom to turn up when you want, do what you want and leave when you want with no expectations from anyone else will be so beneficial to you. A solo lady you won't be alone for long. Men and couples will talk to you. Don't feel pressured to keep talking to anyone or do anything if you aren't feeling it. I used the phrase 'I'm just going to take a wonder-mayhe catch up later' or something similar if I'm not feeling it. Enjoy! ❤️
This is very good advice. Never go with a guy you barely know, make your own way there and home, don't share a locker, don't let a barely known guy make the 'rules' for you such as 'we only play as a couple'. I've had guys think they can make rules for me plus i know of fems who have shared a locker with a barely known guy and the guy has left without telling her (he was supposed to be giving her a lift home)/left a big bar tab/ took the womans handbag etc. Just be careful. I found club visits alone far safer and more fun when i went completely alone in my early swinging days. Now i have my other half that i go with which is equally fun and safe."
very much this! Be your own boss! Also, even if you've met someone a few times for 1:1 sessions, you have no idea how they're going to behave in a club, especially if they've never been. It can be an overwhelming environment. If you go on your own, you make your own rules, you don't have to hang around if you don't like it. Also, if you let staff know you're on your own, especially if it's your first time, most clubs would make sure you are looked after, they'd be checking with you to make sure you're ok and having a good time. |
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I think the perception of what a club is and what it actually is are two very different things which put a lot of nerves into people.
The best advice I can give is “it’s a pub where people want to play”. There are rooms and areas for play and there are usually bar area for no play. People dress down but there is no pressure (unless stated) to dress down.
Most people tend to be so welcoming and friendly particularly to women but yeah, treat it like a normal bar and let yourself go where you’re comfortable with. |
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