FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Single Men on Fab: Is This a Common Experience?
Single Men on Fab: Is This a Common Experience?
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"I have to admit, I'm finding this a very difficult scene to get into as a single man. I'm interested to know whether other single men have had similar experiences, or whether mine is unusual. I know there are plenty of people who have had much more positive experiences, which is great. People are welcome to disagree or not like what I say, but that doesn't change the fact that this has been my experience. I've been on the site for around six months and have kept working on my profile to improve it, with the kind advice of Fab members. I've also been to several socials to prove I'm real and not just another fake profile. For me, messaging on here has felt almost pointless. I take the time to write tailored messages based on someone's profile or most recent update rather than sending a dick pic or simply asking to fuck. Sadly, it seems to make little difference. Most messages go unread or are simply deleted. I completely understand that couples and single women receive a huge number of messages, but it can still be frustrating from the other side. When you spend time writing a genuine message just to be ignored, after a while you start wondering why you bother. The socials haven't really been fun for me either. Don't get me wrong, everyone I've spoken to has been friendly, so this isn't a criticism of them, not for one moment. One problem is that the venues are usually bars with loud music. My hearing isn't great, so having a proper conversation is difficult. It can also feel a bit like being back at school, with established groups naturally sticking together, which can make it very hard as a newcomer to join in or feel included. I did hit it off with one person on here, but it became clear that I was more interested in them than they were in me, which is absolutely fair enough. In the end, though, I got tired of doing all the chasing. It has to work both ways. After a while, you inevitably start to question your own value when you keep putting yourself out there but get little or nothing back. It isn't great for your confidence or your mental wellbeing. I'm not saying that's everyone's experience, but it has certainly been mine. I'd genuinely be interested to hear whether other single men have had similar experiences, or whether you've found approaches that work better. I'd also be interested in hearing from couples and single women about how it looks from your perspective, as I'm sure there are things I haven't considered." This experience is pretty universal although your mileage may vary and it's not like it's a new thing. And yes, verifications, pictures, good profile can help, but it's rarely worth sending messages, and if you do don't expect a quick reply. Last social I went on, they only were able to get to my message 3 weeks after I sent it, due to the sheer volume they receive. That's universal amongst fab too. Truer more than ever that your best bet of actually meeting, or having any interest, social or otherwise is actually at clubs or events. | |||
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"I have to admit, I'm finding this a very difficult scene to get into as a single man. I'm interested to know whether other single men have had similar experiences, or whether mine is unusual. I know there are plenty of people who have had much more positive experiences, which is great. People are welcome to disagree or not like what I say, but that doesn't change the fact that this has been my experience. I've been on the site for around six months and have kept working on my profile to improve it, with the kind advice of Fab members. I've also been to several socials to prove I'm real and not just another fake profile. For me, messaging on here has felt almost pointless. I take the time to write tailored messages based on someone's profile or most recent update rather than sending a dick pic or simply asking to fuck. Sadly, it seems to make little difference. Most messages go unread or are simply deleted. I completely understand that couples and single women receive a huge number of messages, but it can still be frustrating from the other side. When you spend time writing a genuine message just to be ignored, after a while you start wondering why you bother. The socials haven't really been fun for me either. Don't get me wrong, everyone I've spoken to has been friendly, so this isn't a criticism of them, not for one moment. One problem is that the venues are usually bars with loud music. My hearing isn't great, so having a proper conversation is difficult. It can also feel a bit like being back at school, with established groups naturally sticking together, which can make it very hard as a newcomer to join in or feel included. I did hit it off with one person on here, but it became clear that I was more interested in them than they were in me, which is absolutely fair enough. In the end, though, I got tired of doing all the chasing. It has to work both ways. After a while, you inevitably start to question your own value when you keep putting yourself out there but get little or nothing back. It isn't great for your confidence or your mental wellbeing. I'm not saying that's everyone's experience, but it has certainly been mine. I'd genuinely be interested to hear whether other single men have had similar experiences, or whether you've found approaches that work better. I'd also be interested in hearing from couples and single women about how it looks from your perspective, as I'm sure there are things I haven't considered." The truth is this site represents real life as much as anything else. Despite being a sex-site, the female of the species is still as selective and flaky as the real world. I don't bother with single women on here as the amount of choice and attention even the average one's get seems to entitle them to be as flaky and choosy as real life dating. Maybe stick to couples or even go to a club. People tend to be in the mood at clubs and more willing to give new men a chance. Just a thought. Best of British, you'll need it! | |||
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"it was well over 12 months before I managed to meet up with a couple on here and ironically it wasnt through the site that I met them." I don't think that that's unusual. I think that most of the couples on here use it mainly to keep in touch with people they've already met, and rarely to make new contacts. | |||
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"It's because 99.9% of single males are on here for a quick wank while their mrs is at work so continually let single females,couples down this not only annoys them,and can unfortunately affect the confidence of women making them less likely to continue on here, it was well over 12 months before I managed to meet up with a couple on here and ironically it wasnt through the site that I met them." Thissss Just makes you think not worth it | |||
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"This is a swingers site. Not a sex site. Even people replying have got that wrong. Are you a swinger or part of a swinger couple, or are you another single man looking for sex? If you are a swinger, then this site works exactly as it should. If you are another single man looking for free sex, then good luck with that"  | |||
"I have to admit, I'm finding this a very difficult scene to get into as a single man. I'm interested to know whether other single men have had similar experiences, or whether mine is unusual. I know there are plenty of people who have had much more positive experiences, which is great. People are welcome to disagree or not like what I say, but that doesn't change the fact that this has been my experience. I've been on the site for around six months and have kept working on my profile to improve it, with the kind advice of Fab members. I've also been to several socials to prove I'm real and not just another fake profile. For me, messaging on here has felt almost pointless. I take the time to write tailored messages based on someone's profile or most recent update rather than sending a dick pic or simply asking to fuck. Sadly, it seems to make little difference. Most messages go unread or are simply deleted. I completely understand that couples and single women receive a huge number of messages, but it can still be frustrating from the other side. When you spend time writing a genuine message just to be ignored, after a while you start wondering why you bother. The socials haven't really been fun for me either. Don't get me wrong, everyone I've spoken to has been friendly, so this isn't a criticism of them, not for one moment. One problem is that the venues are usually bars with loud music. My hearing isn't great, so having a proper conversation is difficult. It can also feel a bit like being back at school, with established groups naturally sticking together, which can make it very hard as a newcomer to join in or feel included. I did hit it off with one person on here, but it became clear that I was more interested in them than they were in me, which is absolutely fair enough. In the end, though, I got tired of doing all the chasing. It has to work both ways. After a while, you inevitably start to question your own value when you keep putting yourself out there but get little or nothing back. It isn't great for your confidence or your mental wellbeing. I'm not saying that's everyone's experience, but it has certainly been mine. I'd genuinely be interested to hear whether other single men have had similar experiences, or whether you've found approaches that work better. I'd also be interested in hearing from couples and single women about how it looks from your perspective, as I'm sure there are things I haven't considered." I've been on this site for 5yrs or so, it's only in the last couple that things have happened. Patience, reflection and adjustments plus don't just rely on fab get yourself out to clubs and socials | |||
"This is a swingers site. Not a sex site. Even people replying have got that wrong. Are you a swinger or part of a swinger couple, or are you another single man looking for sex? If you are a swinger, then this site works exactly as it should. If you are another single man looking for free sex, then good luck with that" Single men and single women can be swingers. If you’re looking for recreational sex with more than one person. There are also a lot of shaggers on here, single people looking to hookup with single people. (Nothing wrong with that) And there are an awful lot of spectators on here. People who set up accounts, to perv on those who are actually meeting. These are the ones who set up meetings, for the thrill of the chase, but never show. These profiles are too good to be true, because they are made up. What can you do? Be honest, be genuine and be prepared for a long wait. | |||
"I have to admit, I'm finding this a very difficult scene to get into as a single man. I'm interested to know whether other single men have had similar experiences, or whether mine is unusual. I know there are plenty of people who have had much more positive experiences, which is great. People are welcome to disagree or not like what I say, but that doesn't change the fact that this has been my experience. I've been on the site for around six months and have kept working on my profile to improve it, with the kind advice of Fab members. I've also been to several socials to prove I'm real and not just another fake profile. For me, messaging on here has felt almost pointless. I take the time to write tailored messages based on someone's profile or most recent update rather than sending a dick pic or simply asking to fuck. Sadly, it seems to make little difference. Most messages go unread or are simply deleted. I completely understand that couples and single women receive a huge number of messages, but it can still be frustrating from the other side. When you spend time writing a genuine message just to be ignored, after a while you start wondering why you bother. The socials haven't really been fun for me either. Don't get me wrong, everyone I've spoken to has been friendly, so this isn't a criticism of them, not for one moment. One problem is that the venues are usually bars with loud music. My hearing isn't great, so having a proper conversation is difficult. It can also feel a bit like being back at school, with established groups naturally sticking together, which can make it very hard as a newcomer to join in or feel included. I did hit it off with one person on here, but it became clear that I was more interested in them than they were in me, which is absolutely fair enough. In the end, though, I got tired of doing all the chasing. It has to work both ways. After a while, you inevitably start to question your own value when you keep putting yourself out there but get little or nothing back. It isn't great for your confidence or your mental wellbeing. I'm not saying that's everyone's experience, but it has certainly been mine. I'd genuinely be interested to hear whether other single men have had similar experiences, or whether you've found approaches that work better. I'd also be interested in hearing from couples and single women about how it looks from your perspective, as I'm sure there are things I haven't considered. The truth is this site represents real life as much as anything else. Despite being a sex-site, the female of the species is still as selective and flaky as the real world. I don't bother with single women on here as the amount of choice and attention even the average one's get seems to entitle them to be as flaky and choosy as real life dating. Maybe stick to couples or even go to a club. People tend to be in the mood at clubs and more willing to give new men a chance. Just a thought. Best of British, you'll need it!" " I don't bother with single women on here as the amount of choice and attention even the average one's get seems to entitle them to be as flaky and choosy as real life dating." Are you saying because uts a 'sex site' women shouldn't be selective and should just shag anyone that messages them?" | |||
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" I am really enjoying this discussion. It is a great opportunity for us to connect and develop a better understanding. Thanks for keeping the dialogue alive; hopefully, we will all be on the same page soon." What page is that ? | |||
"I have to admit, I'm finding this a very difficult scene to get into as a single man. I'm interested to know whether other single men have had similar experiences, or whether mine is unusual. I know there are plenty of people who have had much more positive experiences, which is great. People are welcome to disagree or not like what I say, but that doesn't change the fact that this has been my experience. I've been on the site for around six months and have kept working on my profile to improve it, with the kind advice of Fab members. I've also been to several socials to prove I'm real and not just another fake profile. For me, messaging on here has felt almost pointless. I take the time to write tailored messages based on someone's profile or most recent update rather than sending a dick pic or simply asking to fuck. Sadly, it seems to make little difference. Most messages go unread or are simply deleted. I completely understand that couples and single women receive a huge number of messages, but it can still be frustrating from the other side. When you spend time writing a genuine message just to be ignored, after a while you start wondering why you bother. The socials haven't really been fun for me either. Don't get me wrong, everyone I've spoken to has been friendly, so this isn't a criticism of them, not for one moment. One problem is that the venues are usually bars with loud music. My hearing isn't great, so having a proper conversation is difficult. It can also feel a bit like being back at school, with established groups naturally sticking together, which can make it very hard as a newcomer to join in or feel included. I did hit it off with one person on here, but it became clear that I was more interested in them than they were in me, which is absolutely fair enough. In the end, though, I got tired of doing all the chasing. It has to work both ways. After a while, you inevitably start to question your own value when you keep putting yourself out there but get little or nothing back. It isn't great for your confidence or your mental wellbeing. I'm not saying that's everyone's experience, but it has certainly been mine. I'd genuinely be interested to hear whether other single men have had similar experiences, or whether you've found approaches that work better. I'd also be interested in hearing from couples and single women about how it looks from your perspective, as I'm sure there are things I haven't considered. The truth is this site represents real life as much as anything else. Despite being a sex-site, the female of the species is still as selective and flaky as the real world. I don't bother with single women on here as the amount of choice and attention even the average one's get seems to entitle them to be as flaky and choosy as real life dating. Maybe stick to couples or even go to a club. People tend to be in the mood at clubs and more willing to give new men a chance. Just a thought. Best of British, you'll need it! " I don't bother with single women on here as the amount of choice and attention even the average one's get seems to entitle them to be as flaky and choosy as real life dating." Are you saying because uts a 'sex site' women shouldn't be selective and should just shag anyone that messages them?"" No. I'm saying that women are more naturally selective than men and when they have so much choice, single men on here find it nearly impossible to be selected, ffs. That sort of defensive, daft reaction is exactly why I don't meet single women like you! Peace. | |||
"I have to admit, I'm finding this a very difficult scene to get into as a single man. I'm interested to know whether other single men have had similar experiences, or whether mine is unusual. I know there are plenty of people who have had much more positive experiences, which is great. People are welcome to disagree or not like what I say, but that doesn't change the fact that this has been my experience. I've been on the site for around six months and have kept working on my profile to improve it, with the kind advice of Fab members. I've also been to several socials to prove I'm real and not just another fake profile. For me, messaging on here has felt almost pointless. I take the time to write tailored messages based on someone's profile or most recent update rather than sending a dick pic or simply asking to fuck. Sadly, it seems to make little difference. Most messages go unread or are simply deleted. I completely understand that couples and single women receive a huge number of messages, but it can still be frustrating from the other side. When you spend time writing a genuine message just to be ignored, after a while you start wondering why you bother. The socials haven't really been fun for me either. Don't get me wrong, everyone I've spoken to has been friendly, so this isn't a criticism of them, not for one moment. One problem is that the venues are usually bars with loud music. My hearing isn't great, so having a proper conversation is difficult. It can also feel a bit like being back at school, with established groups naturally sticking together, which can make it very hard as a newcomer to join in or feel included. I did hit it off with one person on here, but it became clear that I was more interested in them than they were in me, which is absolutely fair enough. In the end, though, I got tired of doing all the chasing. It has to work both ways. After a while, you inevitably start to question your own value when you keep putting yourself out there but get little or nothing back. It isn't great for your confidence or your mental wellbeing. I'm not saying that's everyone's experience, but it has certainly been mine. I'd genuinely be interested to hear whether other single men have had similar experiences, or whether you've found approaches that work better. I'd also be interested in hearing from couples and single women about how it looks from your perspective, as I'm sure there are things I haven't considered. The truth is this site represents real life as much as anything else. Despite being a sex-site, the female of the species is still as selective and flaky as the real world. I don't bother with single women on here as the amount of choice and attention even the average one's get seems to entitle them to be as flaky and choosy as real life dating. Maybe stick to couples or even go to a club. People tend to be in the mood at clubs and more willing to give new men a chance. Just a thought. Best of British, you'll need it! " I don't bother with single women on here as the amount of choice and attention even the average one's get seems to entitle them to be as flaky and choosy as real life dating." Are you saying because uts a 'sex site' women shouldn't be selective and should just shag anyone that messages them?" No. I'm saying that women are more naturally selective than men and when they have so much choice, single men on here find it nearly impossible to be selected, ffs. That sort of defensive, daft reaction is exactly why I don't meet single women like you! Peace." I think it's safe to say that the feeling is extremely mutual. Have a good day | |||
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"This is a swingers site. Not a sex site. Even people replying have got that wrong. Are you a swinger or part of a swinger couple, or are you another single man looking for sex? If you are a swinger, then this site works exactly as it should. If you are another single man looking for free sex, then good luck with that" spot on 100 zillion% this .. | |||
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"Yeah, seems like the regular single male experience." Yes, spot on. | |||
"This is a swingers site. Not a sex site. Even people replying have got that wrong. Are you a swinger or part of a swinger couple, or are you another single man looking for sex? If you are a swinger, then this site works exactly as it should. If you are another single man looking for free sex, then good luck with that" Well said. Another thread from a single man who hasn't worked out that it isn't a sex site. Single men need to work very, very hard to have any chance of success. That's just the way it is. | |||
