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First time club for a single male.
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Hi everyone, looking for some advice and/or help as a single male wanting to arrange a visit to a club.
Obviously dont need to go into turning up smartly dressed, clean and smelling nice (I hope so anyway).
Mainly for when inside? Like how do I socially approach it all? Thinking just wait at the bar and wait for people to approach and chat? Im not bothered about playing too much but would be great to meet people and friends.
Thank you. |
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"Hi everyone, looking for some advice and/or help as a single male wanting to arrange a visit to a club.
Obviously dont need to go into turning up smartly dressed, clean and smelling nice (I hope so anyway).
Your best bet would be to approach people yourself and introduce yourself as being new as an ice breaker.
Mainly for when inside? Like how do I socially approach it all? Thinking just wait at the bar and wait for people to approach and chat? Im not bothered about playing too much but would be great to meet people and friends.
Thank you. "
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By *aandLoCouple 2 weeks ago
Southampton |
"Hi everyone, looking for some advice and/or help as a single male wanting to arrange a visit to a club.
Obviously dont need to go into turning up smartly dressed, clean and smelling nice (I hope so anyway).
Mainly for when inside? Like how do I socially approach it all? Thinking just wait at the bar and wait for people to approach and chat? Im not bothered about playing too much but would be great to meet people and friends.
Thank you. "
Please don't lurk creepy and suspiciously at the bar 🤣 Just go up to friendly looking people, say Hi, introduce yourself and explain it's your first time and get talking about the club/scene/how far you've travelled etc.
If you feel you like them, and think it's mutual then you could ask about their dynamic etc. Well, that approach works for us anyway.
Remember we're all just normal people so treat it like any other social situation: polite, friendly, demonstrate you're genuinely interested in others. |
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"Hi everyone, looking for some advice and/or help as a single male wanting to arrange a visit to a club.
Obviously dont need to go into turning up smartly dressed, clean and smelling nice (I hope so anyway).
Mainly for when inside? Like how do I socially approach it all? Thinking just wait at the bar and wait for people to approach and chat? Im not bothered about playing too much but would be great to meet people and friends.
Thank you. "
Be respectful, don’t follow couples or women around, give couples some space to start playing, don’t touch unless invited to, don’t expect to play and mainly don’t be a dick and you’ll be ahead of the game |
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By *oxesMan 2 weeks ago
Southend, Essex |
"Hi everyone, looking for some advice and/or help as a single male wanting to arrange a visit to a club.
Obviously dont need to go into turning up smartly dressed, clean and smelling nice (I hope so anyway).
Mainly for when inside? Like how do I socially approach it all? Thinking just wait at the bar and wait for people to approach and chat? Im not bothered about playing too much but would be great to meet people and friends.
Thank you. "
Treat it as a night out just with the possibility of sex. Get talking to people and make friends you could end up talking about sexual things or what you do living.
Doin't feel pressured to have sex. |
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Dont have your locker key around the wrist you are wanking with.
Hearing "jingle bells" in the background when i'm fucking someone is really annoying 🤣😢
As above, just chat to people, say hello, tell them its your first time, you may or may not click with someone. Can be quite daunting, some people can be a bit rude but generally speaking people at clubs are friendly.
Enjoy |
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By *oxesMan 2 weeks ago
Southend, Essex |
"Dont have your locker key around the wrist you are wanking with.
Hearing "jingle bells" in the background when i'm fucking someone is really annoying 🤣😢
As above, just chat to people, say hello, tell them its your first time, you may or may not click with someone. Can be quite daunting, some people can be a bit rude but generally speaking people at clubs are friendly.
Enjoy"
When I went to a club in Berlin. I lost my raffle ticket which was in order to get you jacket out of the cloakroom. It was past 8 o'clock I was the last person accept staff to be in there I had to prove my leather jacket was mine even though it was the only one there. By saying what was in the pockets. Unlock my phone and state what the last photo was. The girl in the cloakroom advised me for next time place your raffle ticket in your shoe. |
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"Hi everyone, looking for some advice and/or help as a single male wanting to arrange a visit to a club.
Obviously dont need to go into turning up smartly dressed, clean and smelling nice (I hope so anyway).
Mainly for when inside? Like how do I socially approach it all? Thinking just wait at the bar and wait for people to approach and chat? Im not bothered about playing too much but would be great to meet people and friends.
Thank you. "
You are going to have to approach people sorry. couples, single women, groups of people. If you just stand at the bar, people will just think you are there as a voyeur. You can talk to people the same way you would talk to anyone of any gender in a pub. If you are polite, experiences swingers and club regulars will take you under their wing.
Jacuzzis and pools are also good places for chit-chat. Not the dungeon while play is occuring. |
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Choose the right club for you, based on facilities, events, single men days, costs and your budget and then attend at the right point, after researching membership purchase terms, etc
Be friendly to everyone and some will show themselves as more open to you. Assume first few trips are to learn the place and get to know others. Staff will show you around but you can focus on the social area, like the bar.
Just be warm and friendly with everyone. Don't monopolise people's time, as they may know what they want to do but may not want to discourage you. Have fun, learning a new environment and getting to know new people.  |
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"Hi everyone, looking for some advice and/or help as a single male wanting to arrange a visit to a club.
Obviously dont need to go into turning up smartly dressed, clean and smelling nice (I hope so anyway).
Mainly for when inside? Like how do I socially approach it all? Thinking just wait at the bar and wait for people to approach and chat? Im not bothered about playing too much but would be great to meet people and friends.
Thank you. "
As a single guy in a club with no connections inside, you will have to do all the running mate. It’s rare for someone to approach a guy sat by himself, the EGOF’s stick to their little groups, and the club staff usually lose interest in you once your cash is in the till.
Just try to look chilled, and look to see if you catch anyone’s eye. Some guys hang around the play areas until the end of the night, hoping for an invite in, I feel desperate doing that, so tend to avoid the play areas unless I’ve made a connection with someone.
Clubs are an alternative night out. You can see some sights you wouldn’t see anywhere else, including some sights you wish you hadn’t, have an absolutely amazing night, or booking a taxi by 11pm. Just give it a go, we only live once 😋 |
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Perhaps take a book to read or go and watch the TV.
The clique culture that exists in clubs doesn't really encourage new people, especially single men.
I've only experienced clubs as part of a couple but if you're not one of the faces then the experience can be a lonely one.
Good luck |
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By *rad670Man 2 weeks ago
South Lakes |
From experience when I visited a club in Swindon. To start I just people watched and politely smiled at anyone who's eyes you met with. I learned from this a few things, from people watching you soon see that many are friends with others and will usually stick with that circle. You will also notice some very creepy behaviour from small groups of predominantly younger men and realise why single men are deemed to be creepy in clubs, be different even if it seems no- one is noticing you. What happened with me is that some noticed I was alone, shy, probably looked lost and started simple friendly chat and once 1 or 2 people chatcwith you others notice you're not a creep. Go with the same attitude you should have on here that you might not even get chatting let alone physically involved and you won't get ratty. Just enjoy watching everyone interacting and learn body language, you might get some veris if people sre members on here and might just make new friends. I would go quite often if I could even to enjoy the atmosphere and occasional chat, just prepare for a lonely night and hope for the best. Some people like quiet lads and some zoom in on decent people who look a bit lost. |
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"From experience when I visited a club in Swindon. To start I just people watched and politely smiled at anyone who's eyes you met with. I learned from this a few things, from people watching you soon see that many are friends with others and will usually stick with that circle. You will also notice some very creepy behaviour from small groups of predominantly younger men and realise why single men are deemed to be creepy in clubs, be different even if it seems no- one is noticing you. What happened with me is that some noticed I was alone, shy, probably looked lost and started simple friendly chat and once 1 or 2 people chatcwith you others notice you're not a creep. Go with the same attitude you should have on here that you might not even get chatting let alone physically involved and you won't get ratty. Just enjoy watching everyone interacting and learn body language, you might get some veris if people sre members on here and might just make new friends. I would go quite often if I could even to enjoy the atmosphere and occasional chat, just prepare for a lonely night and hope for the best. Some people like quiet lads and some zoom in on decent people who look a bit lost."
That's brilliant advice tbh  |
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Buy a wristband pouch. Think tennis cuff with a zip pocket. Keep condoms, lube, locker keys and breath mints in it.
Making a connection and then excuses about not having a condom or running to the lockers is awkward and kills the vibe.
When invited no thank you is also okay from guys. It’s okay to say no.
Don’t get too close/crowd a woman even at a GG night. Ask before shoving your dick in their face.
Ask for consent and continue as you ladder until you get the go ahead not to ask. If that doesn’t happen, continue to consent/check-in as you go.
Address the man as well. He exists too and most likely does please his woman.
Finally if he has a bigger dick than you, don’t discuss dicks for half an hour. It’s dull and kills the vibe.
If you go soft. Seen back and come back to play. 100% okay to do that avoid excuses no tumbling softies. You’ll get in your head and everyone feels it.
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There will usually be a Queen Bee at these events, a social butterfly who knows a lot of people you will see her confidently strutting around like she owns the place ! Try and catch her eye and get chatting. If you get in her good books you are halfway there ! |
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There is some absolute stellar advice in here!
I’ve been to two different clubs so far both times as a solo male. And honestly just talking to people like can feel so intimidating but it’s honestly the best way to enjoy the night. If you want for someone to approach you it might be a long lonely one but if you just introduce yourself, you’ll find that a lot of people come to these to meet other people |
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By *rct4Man 2 weeks ago
london |
"Buy a wristband pouch. Think tennis cuff with a zip pocket. Keep condoms, lube, locker keys and breath mints in it.
Making a connection and then excuses about not having a condom or running to the lockers is awkward and kills the vibe.
When invited no thank you is also okay from guys. It’s okay to say no.
Don’t get too close/crowd a woman even at a GG night. Ask before shoving your dick in their face.
Ask for consent and continue as you ladder until you get the go ahead not to ask. If that doesn’t happen, continue to consent/check-in as you go.
Address the man as well. He exists too and most likely does please his woman.
Finally if he has a bigger dick than you, don’t discuss dicks for half an hour. It’s dull and kills the vibe.
If you go soft. Seen back and come back to play. 100% okay to do that avoid excuses no tumbling softies. You’ll get in your head and everyone feels it.
"
I’ve Just gone hard |
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