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safe sex
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Just been messaging and texting a couple with a _iew to a meet tonight, but they went cold as soon as the subject ofsafe sex came up, oral in particular. I'm not willing to risk having any regrets in the morning so I always use a condom, even for oral.
So that's a bit frustrating but I'm gonna stand my ground. What's your opinion? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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we totally agree with u we only ever play safe for sex n oral sex for both of us ie condoms and damms ...the.amount of people that try push our boundaries...one even said do we have.to wear marigolds to touch ya....good on u stick to.yr boundaries x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Stick with what works for you but for me i aint ever giving a bj with a condom on so i wouldnt go for it either....just have a suck on one and then see if you would like it....each to their own but it wouldnt be for many i expect. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Stick with what works for you but for me i aint ever giving a bj with a condom on so i wouldnt go for it either....just have a suck on one and then see if you would like it....each to their own but it wouldnt be for many i expect."
When it comes to full sex tho condoms all the way |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Stick to your guns and I also lost a meet because I wouldn't play bareback, he did mention someone else that also does the same that I have chatted to before so have put notes on both profiles. Very annoying too as wasn't working and looking for some fun, ended up watching tv again on a Saturday night too  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We met a guy a while back who waited for Andy to go to the loo and then tried bareback, I stopped him very quickly. His excuse was he had no condoms (luckily Andy always has some) he then asked when performing oral would I spit or swallow. The answer was neither, to me that's the same as bareback!
Although he had safesex on his profile, he obviously preferred something else, no way were we going to play like that.
Wouldn't verify him as we felt he'd got us there under false pretences, always stick to your guns that's what we say. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's up to you.. personally wouldn't play with someone who expected oral with a condom but that's my preferences..
As to the marigolds comment to be fair I'd say that cross contamination using fingers is the the most over looked area of safer sex ever.
Cali |
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Everyone plays with different rules and boundaries .... its personal preference and no one should judge others... if u dont like the boundaries . Just move on there is someone for everyone on here . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Stick with what works for you but for me i aint ever giving a bj with a condom on so i wouldnt go for it either....just have a suck on one and then see if you would like it....each to their own but it wouldnt be for many i expect."
Try flavoured lube or flavoured condoms   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Stick with what works for you but for me i aint ever giving a bj with a condom on so i wouldnt go for it either....just have a suck on one and then see if you would like it....each to their own but it wouldnt be for many i expect.
Try flavoured lube or flavoured condoms "
Tried them.. still foul.. and as yet not found flavoured non latex condoms. |
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"do your thing 
I wouldn't blow someone with a condom as the taste would make me gag and do nothing for me..."
I agree with that! But I am at a loss as to what the difference is , giving a blowjob with a condom on is just nasty, but in reality it's not any different than going bare back( my tubes are tied no pregnancy risk) I'm not sure what to so when it comes to this. We have a meet next week and hubby wants safe sex and really so do I but I'm not blowing anyone with a condom. I'm kinds confused about this. I wouldn't even know where to buy those dental dams. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I agree with that! But I am at a loss as to what the difference is , giving a blowjob with a condom on is just nasty, but in reality it's not any different than going bare back( my tubes are tied no pregnancy risk) I'm not sure what to so when it comes to this. We have a meet next week and hubby wants safe sex and really so do I but I'm not blowing anyone with a condom. I'm kinds confused about this. I wouldn't even know where to buy those dental dams. "
Actually there is quite a big difference between unprotected oral and bareback vaginal or anal sex.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just been messaging and texting a couple with a _iew to a meet tonight, but they went cold as soon as the subject ofsafe sex came up, oral in particular. I'm not willing to risk having any regrets in the morning so I always use a condom, even for oral.
So that's a bit frustrating but I'm gonna stand my ground. What's your opinion?"
I think you should do what you feel comfortable doing and not feel presurised into doing something else. I also think you should put up a picture with a condom on your tongue to make me smile  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Either way you can contract a disease. So that's where my question lies. "
Yes but you can catch a disease using a condom too.. it's just lesser risk, same as oral without is a significantly lesser risk than full sex without. |
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This I know is an endless debate that has no ultimate outcome as many don't.
The glaring omission from this is the assumption that playing unprotected for oral is somehow less of a risk, when infact there are some pretty nasty things you can get that would make life pretty miserable in future if you get some bad luck. HPV is seldom mentioned on here, yet a real risk for all of us that play unprotected oral.
So back to OP, good for you, if you want to play safe, stand by it! We all look for mutually combatible partners and nobody should think holding up to whatever they believe should be disregarded.
Have fun! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My opinion is that you are right to stick to your guns and they are right to stick to theirs. We all play the way that suits us best and take the risks we're prepared to take."
Agree. OP - at least both of you were honest with each other in your own way. You have your rules, they have theirs. It only becomes a problem when someone starts pulling the wool over your eyes... 
ted. |
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Good on you for sticking to your guns, like other posters have said.
I dont mind giving oral with a condom on, but must be non latex. However I mostly give oral with no protection, its a risk I take, but wont give if I have mouth ulcers, had bleeding gums or flossed my teeth before a meet. I get regular check ups at the GUM clinic every 2-3 months |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" However I mostly give oral with no protection, its a risk I take, but wont give if I have mouth ulcers, had bleeding gums or flossed my teeth before a meet. I get regular check ups at the GUM clinic every 2-3 months"
I can see the humour here. Play on words folks, not content: bleeding gums and GUM |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" However I mostly give oral with no protection, its a risk I take, but wont give if I have mouth ulcers, had bleeding gums or flossed my teeth before a meet. I get regular check ups at the GUM clinic every 2-3 months
I can see the humour here. Play on words folks, not content: bleeding gums and GUM"
I can't. Thought the comment was absolutely serious..?
ted. |
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There is a real link between oral sex, human papilloma virus and oropharyngeal carcinoma.
Remember that genital warts can take quite a time to become visible on the penis and scrotum and can be intra-vaginal in the ladies, so they can be a ticking time bomb.
Doctor Nasty |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This I know is an endless debate that has no ultimate outcome as many don't.
The glaring omission from this is the assumption that playing unprotected for oral is somehow less of a risk, when infact there are some pretty nasty things you can get that would make life pretty miserable in future if you get some bad luck. HPV is seldom mentioned on here, yet a real risk for all of us that play unprotected oral.
So back to OP, good for you, if you want to play safe, stand by it! We all look for mutually combatible partners and nobody should think holding up to whatever they believe should be disregarded.
Have fun! "
It's not an assumption... My _iews on this come from actually speaking to the clinic.. there are risks with everything except no sex..
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We met a guy a while back who waited for Andy to go to the loo and then tried bareback, I stopped him very quickly. His excuse was he had no condoms (luckily Andy always has some) he then asked when performing oral would I spit or swallow. The answer was neither, to me that's the same as bareback!
Although he had safesex on his profile, he obviously preferred something else, no way were we going to play like that.
Wouldn't verify him as we felt he'd got us there under false pretences, always stick to your guns that's what we say."
you should have just kicked him out the house naked trying that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The op is entitled to his decision and as others have said ....quite right to stick to his guns .
However I would sooner stay at home and wash my hair than have a meet with someone so paranoid that even oral requires condoms and denta dams !
Maybe rubber gloves would be a good idea too ?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The op is entitled to his decision and as others have said ....quite right to stick to his guns .
However I would sooner stay at home and wash my hair than have a meet with someone so paranoid that even oral requires condoms and denta dams !
Maybe rubber gloves would be a good idea too ? "
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The only completely safe sex is..... no sex.
So, anything else comes with some form of risk.
Its how you manage the risk that's important.
Also, knowing the risks gives you a better idea of what you are comfortable with, and what you are happy doing.
We checked out various info on the internet, and decided that, within certain parameters, oral sex is a very low risk activity, so we don't use condoms or dental dams for oral, but that's our informed choice, and in nearly 5 years of swinging, the same choice as all our swinging partners, friends and acquaintances.
Search the info, weigh up the risks and make your choice, and let no one tell you that you are wrong. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There is a real link between oral sex, human papilloma virus and oropharyngeal carcinoma.
Remember that genital warts can take quite a time to become visible on the penis and scrotum and can be intra-vaginal in the ladies, so they can be a ticking time bomb.
this is so very true 90% of men and women carry hpv and dont know it 9 times out of 10 the human body can defend its self from the virus and clear itself as there is no cure usually hpv is picked up on a womans smear test and can remain dormant for years and you would never know you had it ....it could and i say could turn into cervix cancer where the cells on the cervix have to be burnt or scraped away....school teenagers are now vaccinated for hpv ....the whole meening in what i writting is all these viruses can be passed orally as its body fluids that do it so unless you get tested and get ur partner to be tested then the pair of you never had sex with anyone else if proved negative yeahhhh happy bareback and oral ....but to everyone else comply or die lol
Doctor Nasty"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sounds dogy for a dude to post such a post .. U need advice of what to do?? Or you wanted to do bareback then told to F off ?? Hmmm very unusual kinda post |
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By *andcCouple
over a year ago
Cheshire and London |
What every you do..condoms all the time, condoms only for vaginal sex..bareback all the time..doesn't make a difference..you need to be tested regularly.
The faster you know you're infected the better chance of a good out come, whatever you have caught! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I know of 2 people who have contracted hiv. Both straight non drug users just shows what's out there risks etc. everyone in this game needs to get yes tested frequently! Play safe x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yup, oral sex is risky, personally I don't use dams or condoms but that's my choice... It is possible to move thrush from genitals to mouth and vice versa, vaginal bacteritis, chlamydia believe it or not, HIV, HPV...the list goes on. Just as you can play with masturbation then put a condom on and still transmit via fingers.
Sex is risky, end of. Just be sensible, set what limits mean you can live and love comfortably and be content with your choices. Don't change for anyone!
As for the poster who said where to buy dental dams, well online is the easy option just Google - but nice n naughty the sex shop chain sell them as an example.
Special care has to be taken in the swinger community because we all feel more confident here knowing that everyone is up for it. I've had so many blokes say they only play safe whilst trying to arrange a meet but on their profiles there's photos of bareback play with more than one different ladygarden on show in the pics...they cant all be "only with the missus"
unless she's had vaginoplasty?
Xxx  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know of 2 people who have contracted hiv. Both straight non drug users just shows what's out there risks etc. everyone in this game needs to get yes tested frequently! Play safe x "
Being tested isn't the total answer but there are a hell of a lot of people who claim to be getting regular tests but don't which is rather worrieing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Always makes me giggle reading posts about safe sex on a swingers site. As has been said the ONLY safe sex is no sex. Everything else is just about reducing risk not eliminating it. We use condoms for penetration but nothing for oral as we hate the taste. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Stick with what works for you but for me i aint ever giving a bj with a condom on so i wouldnt go for it either....just have a suck on one and then see if you would like it....each to their own but it wouldnt be for many i expect."
The taste of rubber is narley lol taste it for hours afterwards lol xx |
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noo sod it as wer northen folk..esp in our 50s.wev been doing the scene for 12 years..bare back rules..so we will fly the bare back flag ..on a sane note we only meet couples like us who have been married years if we do 3sums with a guy he will have to be married a long time like us..so we only tramp this path just once so ditch the ol condom nobody likes them..and live what life we have ..party.!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"noo sod it as wer northen folk..esp in our 50s.wev been doing the scene for 12 years..bare back rules..so we will fly the bare back flag ..on a sane note we only meet couples like us who have been married years if we do 3sums with a guy he will have to be married a long time like us..so we only tramp this path just once so ditch the ol condom nobody likes them..and live what life we have ..party.!! "
Okay I am going to assume this is tongue in cheek.. just checking though... Lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There are more than enough people on Fab to find those that are compatible. If you are not compatible just move on.
You are not right; they are not wrong. You just don't agree.  |
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By *ollie_JCouple
over a year ago
London |
"Sounds dogy for a dude to post such a post .. U need advice of what to do?? Or you wanted to do bareback then told to F off ?? Hmmm very unusual kinda post "
He is bi, that dynamic changes the post |
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