FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Bad experience.. what to do.
Bad experience.. what to do.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Well tonight I met a girl off here who I'd been chatting to. So we had a drink at hers sitting on separate sofas and then I decided to leave as my intention was just a social meet. I told her I had to go and gave her a hug we had a little kiss and feel then I left. Since I left though she seems to have taken huge offence to me politely leaving on basis of not taking things further than a kiss.. I have since received a number of abusive messages, threatening me and my kids. Obviously I have reported her to fab but should I report to police? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would just block and move on...you get the police involved she will turn it against you in someway. And the police will back the women everytime |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Wow! a woman scorned
Id completely ignore any further messages and if you have a phone that can block numbers then use the facility |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would just block and move on...you get the police involved she will turn it against you in someway. And the police will back the women everytime"
How do you know the police do that?! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would keep a record of the abusive messages just incase you need to take it further ie go to the police. In the meantime id say reporting, blocking and moving on is the best option.
Wonder if she reads the forums.... |
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Were the messages on here or on phone/email?
Does she know where you live?
Report any messages she sent on here. After that it's your choice about the police. If you think she might act on her threats or persists with the messages instead of getting bored then consider the police.
If you do opt for the police do not delete the messages.
If she is calling your phone you can download something like Mr Number which will dump all her calls etc. You can also set it to refuse withheld numbers.
Good luck. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Wow! a woman scorned
Id completely ignore any further messages and if you have a phone that can block numbers then use the facility"
I wish my phone could :/ ..thanks for advice. I'm actually shocked by this, didn't expect that at all and puts me off fab! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This thread is against the rules. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wow! a woman scorned
Id completely ignore any further messages and if you have a phone that can block numbers then use the facility
I wish my phone could :/ ..thanks for advice. I'm actually shocked by this, didn't expect that at all and puts me off fab!"
Perhaps have any socials, in future, in public. No signals can be misread then. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Were the messages on here or on phone/email?
Does she know where you live?
Report any messages she sent on here. After that it's your choice about the police. If you think she might act on her threats or persists with the messages instead of getting bored then consider the police.
If you do opt for the police do not delete the messages.
If she is calling your phone you can download something like Mr Number which will dump all her calls etc. You can also set it to refuse withheld numbers.
Good luck. "
Abusive messages are on my phone and backup up. I'll try the Mr number thing sounds ideal! ...she knows my a street name but not house no. ...I know lesson learnt! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Wow! a woman scorned
Id completely ignore any further messages and if you have a phone that can block numbers then use the facility
I wish my phone could :/ ..thanks for advice. I'm actually shocked by this, didn't expect that at all and puts me off fab!
Perhaps have any socials, in future, in public. No signals can be misread then."
Noted! |
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In future keep socials to a public place. I use a busy chain coffee shop. It means if we don't want to play we both still have anonymity.
Also consider a play phone, the supermarkets all have one's at around a tenner. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"In future keep socials to a public place. I use a busy chain coffee shop. It means if we don't want to play we both still have anonymity.
Also consider a play phone, the supermarkets all have one's at around a tenner. "
Mr Number seems to work ... But for future your right about a play phone. Thanks X |
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"This thread is against the rules."
I think that if this were against the rules then Admin would have removed it.
The OP didn't give out the name of the 'lady' concerned, so I don't think any harm has been done.
I totally agree with the majority of posters: use a play phone; keep socials to a public place; report to Admin and keep messages in case this particular 'lady' does go too far with her threats  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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FYI fab works with police
I know this frm personal experience x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The police consider a threat to be as serious as a crime, if you have proof of a threat the police will take it seriously, man or woman, or TV, |
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I'm another who thinks that of you feel it necessary report it to the police, your gender is irrelevant and I'm betting that a woman with the same problem would have been encouraged to do that from the start.
Hope it gets resolved. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If the threats are against you and your children, and you feel threatened then go to the police, as others have said keep the messages as evidence.
And get a play phone and meet in a public place in future. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The police consider a threat to be as serious as a crime, if you have proof of a threat the police will take it seriously, man or woman, or TV,"
That's good to know, she can threaten me all she wants just not my kids! That's taking threats too far...I have all the messages. I just hope fab removes her she's got issues! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If the threats are against your kids the police will act and probably quite promptly. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Why the need to even chat about the kids when you don't know this woman well. Some nutters out there and you have to look at the bigger picture and take care .. if you feel they really are at risk you need to sort this. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Despite the threats which should be saved and handed over to the police your first mistake was having a social in her own home, in my book that is a stonewall 'fuck me' invitation like the 'come in for coffee' metaphore.
In future follow the rules of internet meeting and keep it somewhere public, once you are comfortable then go for somewhere more intimate and private.
i think people get lost and confused this is a swingers site so going into it with a dating mindset is bound to cause confusion when the other one just wants to fuck. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Despite the threats which should be saved and handed over to the police your first mistake was having a social in her own home, in my book that is a stonewall 'fuck me' invitation like the 'come in for coffee' metaphore.
In future follow the rules of internet meeting and keep it somewhere public, once you are comfortable then go for somewhere more intimate and private.
i think people get lost and confused this is a swingers site so going into it with a dating mindset is bound to cause confusion when the other one just wants to fuck. "
Sorry, totally disagree with the above.
Our first meet is ALWAYS social, and 99% of the time in our own home.
At no point has any of meets thought they were getting some on the first meet, and we have been doing this type of meet for years.
Guess its dependent on what discussion the guy had before he went to meet this so called 'lady', however why in this day and age would anyone think an invite to someone's home is a god given right to a quick legover? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You don't have to apologise for expressing an opinion,it is entirely your choice if you want to allow random internet people into your own home without getting to know them first.
I am not saying an invite in is a god given right to a leg over but i am saying that is a common perception.
As we have no idea of the preceding correspondence then we have to fall back on assumptions and examine the motives of an irrational internet persons behavior. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Maybe its a different scenario when there is 2 of you present to meet either a single or a couple?
Either way, if the discussion is made BEFORE the meet, at what point would someone think just because they are in our home, we are up for it?
Often invite the gas and leccy man in...possibly they think we are up for it as well? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe its a different scenario when there is 2 of you present to meet either a single or a couple?
Either way, if the discussion is made BEFORE the meet, at what point would someone think just because they are in our home, we are up for it?
Often invite the gas and leccy man in...possibly they think we are up for it as well?"
If you have a sign on your front door that says "Swingers Live Here" then i would think the gas and leccy men would think their dreams had come true.
if you dont have that sign then i am positive they will stick to good old fashioned perving! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It would be interesting and hear the females version of events  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well tonight I met a girl off here who I'd been chatting to. I have since received a number of abusive messages, threatening me and my kids. should I report to police?"
I can understand how upsetting threats are but do you really really think this bunny boiler is going to harm you or your kids because you didnt do the honours?
Threats are verbal actions in place of physical actions. We all know if you threated someone its to intimidate or scare them - not to warn them youll be doing it in reality.
Ignore the woman and get on with life.
Her threats are only as powerful as you allow them to be.
Reporting her to the police is more trouble than a few threats would be worth and as mentioned wold escalate a situation that is a mountain/molehill
Did you tell her your address? name? where and when she can find your kids unprotected? No-ones going to go to the trouble to find all that out just because you rubbed them up the wrong way ( or didnt lol)
Learn from the experience and play your cards closer to your chest next time out. There are weirdos out there. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would just block and move on...you get the police involved she will turn it against you in someway. And the police will back the women everytime"
actually they wouldnt
but i would block the phone number and her off here x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It would be interesting and hear the females version of events "
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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago
North of The Wall - youll need your vest |
Sorry Ive removed the OP and Im closing this now. |
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