FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > to all those single guys....
to all those single guys....
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So you all claim to be genuine but very few of you show for an arranged meet at a club. Why is that?
there's also the other side to the problem... You show for the meet, ignore me all night long, then bitch and moan that you make an effort to go to the club with no communication...
am I too fussy in saying that i will not ask to play but will wait to be asked.
so... All in all, ive had two club meets over two days, one no show, one ignorant. Now im left extremely horny, frustrated and a week til i can next play out  |
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Can't say I've experienced the same but then I've spent a long time chatting to people I've arranged to meet in clubs beforehand.
At least if your in a club the night isn't wasted and you can still have fun! |
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"So you all claim to be genuine but very few of you show for an arranged meet at a club. Why is that?
there's also the other side to the problem... You show for the meet, ignore me all night long, then bitch and moan that you make an effort to go to the club with no communication...
am I too fussy in saying that i will not ask to play but will wait to be asked.
so... All in all, ive had two club meets over two days, one no show, one ignorant. Now im left extremely horny, frustrated and a week til i can next play out "
I would never treat anyone like that. It's so unfair for you to have your time wasted by idiots. Keep trying... |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"At least if your in a club the night isn't wasted and you can still have fun! "
This is why my one on one meets have decreased and my club meets have increased. If the guy is a no show I have other ways to enjoy myself.
A couple of concerns about meeting someone INSIDE the club:
a) He will have had to pay a lot more than you to get in so
b) He may assume that, if you didn't go in as a couple, you're not there as a couple.
Probably a good idea to discuss exactly how you both want the night to go if you're both paying to go somewhere to do it. Or have a social meet first to get the vibe of the guy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So you all claim to be genuine but very few of you show for an arranged meet at a club. Why is that?
there's also the other side to the problem... You show for the meet, ignore me all night long, then bitch and moan that you make an effort to go to the club with no communication...
am I too fussy in saying that i will not ask to play but will wait to be asked.
so... All in all, ive had two club meets over two days, one no show, one ignorant. Now im left extremely horny, frustrated and a week til i can next play out "
Have you thought about meeting them socially first to gauge what they're like and see if you get along/whether they can string a sentence together? You might find a little face to face vetting saves you a lot of time & hassle wasted on going straight to a club with men who might only be able to speak with their genitals. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If a guy had posted this thread he would be told paying to get into a club does not mean your going to get laid. So the same logic should apply to you.
Just be glad it did not cost you £40 to get in and the weekend is not far away. |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"If a guy had posted this thread he would be told paying to get into a club does not mean your going to get laid. So the same logic should apply to you.
Just be glad it did not cost you £40 to get in and the weekend is not far away."
Does that mean I might not get a shag when I visit Jaydees in June? Bloody liberty! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's a fair point though - just because you're in a swinging club doesn't mean you're 100% going to have anyone want to have sex with you.
Owning a vagina isn't enough on its own. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If a guy had posted this thread he would be told paying to get into a club does not mean your going to get laid. So the same logic should apply to you.
Just be glad it did not cost you £40 to get in and the weekend is not far away.
Does that mean I might not get a shag when I visit Jaydees in June? Bloody liberty!"
Yes it is a possibility you might not. I have never met you but I get the impression you would have no problem asking somebody to play  |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"If a guy had posted this thread he would be told paying to get into a club does not mean your going to get laid. So the same logic should apply to you.
Just be glad it did not cost you £40 to get in and the weekend is not far away.
Does that mean I might not get a shag when I visit Jaydees in June? Bloody liberty!
Yes it is a possibility you might not. I have never met you but I get the impression you would have no problem asking somebody to play "
You're down as going too *rubs hands and cackles evilly*  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It's a fair point though - just because you're in a swinging club doesn't mean you're 100% going to have anyone want to have sex with you.
Owning a vagina isn't enough on its own."
i 100% agree that a meet does not guarantee play, but surely a meet guarantees an actual meet and conversation....
my free time is limited and want to make the most of it with true gen guys... That really isn't too much to ask from a swingers site... Is it? |
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"So you all claim to be genuine but very few of you show for an arranged meet at a club. Why is that?
there's also the other side to the problem... You show for the meet, ignore me all night long, then bitch and moan that you make an effort to go to the club with no communication...
am I too fussy in saying that i will not ask to play but will wait to be asked.
so... All in all, ive had two club meets over two days, one no show, one ignorant. Now im left extremely horny, frustrated and a week til i can next play out "
You've also got to make an effort! I don't play with women who don't say anything either. Going to a club with a guy does not mean that he is going to fuss over you! You also have to put effort in.
And by your description, do you really think men want to be happy with mmmf? Be realistic about your expectations. In a club, I find that I can be picky too because my competition is not usually as strong.
If you want a guy to go with you, tell him!
Good luck! Xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If a guy had posted this thread he would be told paying to get into a club does not mean your going to get laid. So the same logic should apply to you.
Just be glad it did not cost you £40 to get in and the weekend is not far away.
Does that mean I might not get a shag when I visit Jaydees in June? Bloody liberty!
Yes it is a possibility you might not. I have never met you but I get the impression you would have no problem asking somebody to play
You're down as going too *rubs hands and
cackles evilly* "
Posts bodyguard meet request lol |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
" That really isn't too much to ask from a swingers site... Is it?"
you seem to be doing ok on the site, you had a lesser than successful weekend.....
suck it up to experience and move on
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"So you all claim to be genuine but very few of you show for an arranged meet at a club. Why is that?
there's also the other side to the problem... You show for the meet, ignore me all night long, then bitch and moan that you make an effort to go to the club with no communication...
am I too fussy in saying that i will not ask to play but will wait to be asked.
so... All in all, ive had two club meets over two days, one no show, one ignorant. Now im left extremely horny, frustrated and a week til i can next play out "
You are just picking up the wrong guys  |
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
"So you all claim to be genuine but very few of you show for an arranged meet at a club. Why is that?
there's also the other side to the problem... You show for the meet, ignore me all night long, then bitch and moan that you make an effort to go to the club with no communication...
am I too fussy in saying that i will not ask to play but will wait to be asked.
so... All in all, ive had two club meets over two days, one no show, one ignorant. Now im left extremely horny, frustrated and a week til i can next play out
You've also got to make an effort! I don't play with women who don't say anything either. Going to a club with a guy does not mean that he is going to fuss over you! You also have to put effort in.
And by your description, do you really think men want to be happy with mmmf? Be realistic about your expectations. In a club, I find that I can be picky too because my competition is not usually as strong.
If you want a guy to go with you, tell him!
Good luck! Xx"
The no shows happen, fortunately I ve not had that however its an often discussed topic,
The ladies profile does make it quite clear what she is looking for so the guy / guys should be aware beforehand it maybe a group meet,
We re all adults on here so if the guy you ve arranged to meet didn t show or doesn t converse you could always chat to others, takes at least two to have a conversation
As for the guy ignoring you , maybe he just wasn t into you,
I m sure you l have fun next weekend,  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Surely there were others at the club? I'm sorry but I don't understand the issue. Isn't this one of the reasons why people arrange club meets? Or have I missed the point on this? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So you all claim to be genuine but very few of you show for an arranged meet at a club. Why is that?
"
We were at Chameleons on Friday,travelled from Belfast,out of the many guys that arranged to meet us there,not one of them turned up.typical,all talk.fortunately there was plenty of fun to be had,but as for arranging meeting there?never again! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Surely there were others at the club? I'm sorry but I don't understand the issue. Isn't this one of the reasons why people arrange club meets? Or have I missed the point on this?"
I've never been to a club but I would have assumed there were plenty of others to choose from |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why wait to be asked and then complain you weren't asked? It's no more difficult for you to approach a man than it is for him to approach you."
Probably because some women like to be seduced or taken .and certainly like men who have the ability to chat them up, if a guy is too shy tp make the first move some women don't find it attractive .
I personally don't like women who make it too easy . I prefer those that play hard to get its so different to the others
A guaranteed shag at a club for £40 is still cheaper than tanking a vanilla girl out for dinner, drinks etc
A night out for £40 is pretty cheap. I spend more than that going into southampton having a few drinks and a taxi.
My advice to op is if you don't like shy guys that arrange to meet and are too scared to approach you , it's their loss, move on and find someone that you find exciting and attractive at the club..
Good luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have met this hot and sexy lady on many occasions . Enjoyed one on one , MMF and MMMF .. All of which were awesome . I witnessed the ignorance of a previous meet last night all I can say is his loss , my gain .. Out of all the guys slating this post , how many have messaged and been given a polite "No Thanks" erm that would be all of them :-/ .. I can assist with you horny this week |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So you all claim to be genuine but very few of you show for an arranged meet at a club. Why is that?
there's also the other side to the problem... You show for the meet, ignore me all night long, then bitch and moan that you make an effort to go to the club with no communication...
am I too fussy in saying that i will not ask to play but will wait to be asked.
so... All in all, ive had two club meets over two days, one no show, one ignorant. Now im left extremely horny, frustrated and a week til i can next play out "
don't blame single guys blame yourself for making bad choices. |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"I have met this hot and sexy lady on many occasions . Enjoyed one on one , MMF and MMMF .. All of which were awesome . I witnessed the ignorance of a previous meet last night all I can say is his loss , my gain .. Out of all the guys slating this post , how many have messaged and been given a polite "No Thanks" erm that would be all of them :-/ .. I can assist with you horny this week "
happy days, least she had you |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"I have met this hot and sexy lady on many occasions . Enjoyed one on one , MMF and MMMF .. All of which were awesome . I witnessed the ignorance of a previous meet last night all I can say is his loss , my gain .. Out of all the guys slating this post , how many have messaged and been given a polite "No Thanks" erm that would be all of them :-/ .. I can assist with you horny this week
happy days, least she had you "
I thought she was complaining that she's not had a shag. Looks like all was well after all. |
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"So you all claim to be genuine but very few of you show for an arranged meet at a club. Why is that?
there's also the other side to the problem... You show for the meet, ignore me all night long, then bitch and moan that you make an effort to go to the club with no communication...
am I too fussy in saying that i will not ask to play but will wait to be asked.
so... All in all, ive had two club meets over two days, one no show, one ignorant. Now im left extremely horny, frustrated and a week til i can next play out "
Quite a few guys will go for the cheaper option in not going to clubs, parties or using hotels as they cost money.
Not all guys are like this but that is the main reason. |
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I find it extraordinary and unbelievable to hear this in a swinger site with so many single guys complaining that they cannot pull and yet when they secure themselves a meet... They do not turn up!
I can sympathize with OP that some of us have a life with limited free time and there is no excuse for not informing that person that we have arranged to meet that something awful prevents them from attending the meeting.
It's an absolute lack of respect. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I find it extraordinary and unbelievable to hear this in a swinger site with so many single guys complaining that they cannot pull and yet when they secure themselves a meet... They do not turn up!
I can sympathize with OP that some of us have a life with limited free time and there is no excuse for not informing that person that we have arranged to meet that something awful prevents them from attending the meeting.
It's an absolute lack of respect."
thank you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So you all claim to be genuine but very few of you show for an arranged meet at a club. Why is that?
there's also the other side to the problem... You show for the meet, ignore me all night long, then bitch and moan that you make an effort to go to the club with no communication...
am I too fussy in saying that i will not ask to play but will wait to be asked.
so... All in all, ive had two club meets over two days, one no show, one ignorant. Now im left extremely horny, frustrated and a week til i can next play out "
Shame I'm one year to young to message you I'd take you to a club and chat love the conversation before you going into the rooms relaxes me.
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"I find it extraordinary and unbelievable to hear this in a swinger site with so many single guys complaining that they cannot pull and yet when they secure themselves a meet... They do not turn up!
I can sympathize with OP that some of us have a life with limited free time and there is no excuse for not informing that person that we have arranged to meet that something awful prevents them from attending the meeting.
It's an absolute lack of respect.
thank you "
I agree. I'd never let a woman down like that.
However, it still stands. In a club, I do not play with a woman who doesn't talk! I go for the ones who are fun and chatty.
I've had this myself. The woman says nothing and does nothing and expects you to fuss over her! Unrealistic! I don't need to fuss as there are more women around who chat back.
You must atleast put a small amount of effort in! If you don't, you'll end up getting chatted up by the guy who looks down at the dance floor who everyone is avoiding lol.
Xxxx |
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"Hello :@ it won't message me keeps saying I can't because of age or something do you have kik or whatsapp? "
That's because the filters are probably set to prevent anyone outside the ladies age preferences from messaging her! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hello :@ it won't message me keeps saying I can't because of age or something do you have kik or whatsapp?
That's because the filters are probably set to prevent anyone outside the ladies age preferences from messaging her! "
think shes changed them and actually she message me asking for a face picture so there :P just trying to send one back |
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"Hello :@ it won't message me keeps saying I can't because of age or something do you have kik or whatsapp?
That's because the filters are probably set to prevent anyone outside the ladies age preferences from messaging her!
think shes changed them and actually she message me asking for a face picture so there :P just trying to send one back"
If she's messaged you you shouldn't have a problem sending one back as that bypasses filters |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"So you all claim to be genuine but very few of you show for an arranged meet at a club. Why is that?
there's also the other side to the problem... You show for the meet, ignore me all night long, then bitch and moan that you make an effort to go to the club with no communication...
am I too fussy in saying that i will not ask to play but will wait to be asked.
so... All in all, ive had two club meets over two days, one no show, one ignorant. Now im left extremely horny, frustrated and a week til i can next play out "
few questions.... and a few answers...
a) I do go to clubs.... I would meet someone if I was already going to a club that night, but I wouldn't go out of my way to meet someone in a club if I wasn't already going.... added expense If that makes sense...
b) so people are much shyer than others... even me... for example, I met a lovely couple last night and spoke to them for a little while eventually, because the club was so busy I didn't want to feel I was taking up all their time if there were other people they wanted to talk to......and yes nerves can still get the better of people!!!
c) if you want to play with someone then why not ask!!! is it a fear of rejection thing, because now you get a bit of a sense on what it is like to be a single guy in clubs!....
there is a lovely phrase round here..."shy bairns get nowt"... and to be honest men are not mindreaders at the best of time....
I don't know someone is interested in me half the time unless there is a big neon light flashing above their head!
fussy..... bordering on being stubborn... you call it what you want... I will say you may be missing out on a lot of fun by having that rule..... |
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"So you all claim to be genuine but very few of you show for an arranged meet at a club. Why is that?
there's also the other side to the problem... You show for the meet, ignore me all night long, then bitch and moan that you make an effort to go to the club with no communication...
am I too fussy in saying that i will not ask to play but will wait to be asked.
so... All in all, ive had two club meets over two days, one no show, one ignorant. Now im left extremely horny, frustrated and a week til i can next play out "
Absolutely nothing to do with your selection process or the lack of communication regarding your expectations, eh? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"So you all claim to be genuine but very few of you show for an arranged meet at a club. Why is that?
there's also the other side to the problem... You show for the meet, ignore me all night long, then bitch and moan that you make an effort to go to the club with no communication...
am I too fussy in saying that i will not ask to play but will wait to be asked.
so... All in all, ive had two club meets over two days, one no show, one ignorant. Now im left extremely horny, frustrated and a week til i can next play out
few questions.... and a few answers...
a) I do go to clubs.... I would meet someone if I was already going to a club that night, but I wouldn't go out of my way to meet someone in a club if I wasn't already going.... added expense If that makes sense...
b) so people are much shyer than others... even me... for example, I met a lovely couple last night and spoke to them for a little while eventually, because the club was so busy I didn't want to feel I was taking up all their time if there were other people they wanted to talk to......and yes nerves can still get the better of people!!!
c) if you want to play with someone then why not ask!!! is it a fear of rejection thing, because now you get a bit of a sense on what it is like to be a single guy in clubs!....
there is a lovely phrase round here..."shy bairns get nowt"... and to be honest men are not mindreaders at the best of time....
I don't know someone is interested in me half the time unless there is a big neon light flashing above their head!
fussy..... bordering on being stubborn... you call it what you want... I will say you may be missing out on a lot of fun by having that rule....."
i think you have the wrong end of the stick. This is a guy i have met before who came to meet me. I am not shy one bit. My main query was why do single guys say they will meet then dont show? They have pre-agreed to a place, a time and what I am looking for/what i am in to. These guys with their unhelpful comments, are you one of these guys? |
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
"I have met this hot and sexy lady on many occasions . Enjoyed one on one , MMF and MMMF .. All of which were awesome . I witnessed the ignorance of a previous meet last night all I can say is his loss , my gain .. Out of all the guys slating this post , how many have messaged and been given a polite "No Thanks" erm that would be all of them :-/ .. I can assist with you horny this week
happy days, least she had you
I thought she was complaining that she's not had a shag. Looks like all was well after all."
If she got a shag, why still horny and frustrated still maybe she did need mmm afterall, |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A night out for £40 is pretty cheap. I spend more than that going into southampton having a few drinks and a taxi. "
Is anyone else tired of hearing this false comparison?
Just because it costs £40 to get into a club, doesn't mean the night out costs £40! You have to pay for the taxi and drinks no matter where you end up going. The £40 is an additional cost.
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"
i think you have the wrong end of the stick. This is a guy i have met before who came to meet me. I am not shy one bit. My main query was why do single guys say they will meet then dont show? They have pre-agreed to a place, a time and what I am looking for/what i am in to. These guys with their unhelpful comments, are you one of these guys?"
no... you don't make any of that clear in your post..... and if anyone has the temirity to disagree they are "one of those guys".... got it!!! only tell you what you want to hear! right....
so I am now going to say what a lot of the others have.... your selection process may need looking at....
the bit about waiting to be asked absolutely stands! if someone always wait on someone else then invariably nothing get done...
so the question is why do you always wait to be asked? they may well be waiting on you.. and dont want to look as if they are being pushy.....
maybe (controversial time) you should remember we are all adults, and if you want to play, then pipe up rather than pouting! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's a fair point though - just because you're in a swinging club doesn't mean you're 100% going to have anyone want to have sex with you.
Owning a vagina isn't enough on its own."
I could not agree more. An excellent statement |
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"So you all claim to be genuine but very few of you show for an arranged meet at a club. Why is that?
there's also the other side to the problem... You show for the meet, ignore me all night long, then bitch and moan that you make an effort to go to the club with no communication...
am I too fussy in saying that i will not ask to play but will wait to be asked.
so... All in all, ive had two club meets over two days, one no show, one ignorant. Now im left extremely horny, frustrated and a week til i can next play out
few questions.... and a few answers...
a) I do go to clubs.... I would meet someone if I was already going to a club that night, but I wouldn't go out of my way to meet someone in a club if I wasn't already going.... added expense If that makes sense...
b) so people are much shyer than others... even me... for example, I met a lovely couple last night and spoke to them for a little while eventually, because the club was so busy I didn't want to feel I was taking up all their time if there were other people they wanted to talk to......and yes nerves can still get the better of people!!!
c) if you want to play with someone then why not ask!!! is it a fear of rejection thing, because now you get a bit of a sense on what it is like to be a single guy in clubs!....
there is a lovely phrase round here..."shy bairns get nowt"... and to be honest men are not mindreaders at the best of time....
I don't know someone is interested in me half the time unless there is a big neon light flashing above their head!
fussy..... bordering on being stubborn... you call it what you want... I will say you may be missing out on a lot of fun by having that rule.....
i think you have the wrong end of the stick. This is a guy i have met before who came to meet me. I am not shy one bit. My main query was why do single guys say they will meet then dont show? They have pre-agreed to a place, a time and what I am looking for/what i am in to. These guys with their unhelpful comments, are you one of these guys?"
Why didn't you say that in your post?!?
If someone arranges then let's you down, he's just unreliable. Maybe he bottled it? Maybe he is just messing about? Maybe he isn't interested anymore? It's annoying I know but just move on.
The other thing you mentioned, that's equally your fault as it is his. It works both ways.
Also, I don't know if you considered my comments to be unhelpful, but I'm not one of the guys who messes around. However, ill admit that I wouldn't play with you if you expected me to do all the work. I simply don't need to as there are many women who are eager and I'd probably go for one of those. there's nothing worse than coming onto a woman who shows no interest in you and makes no effort... Personally speaking anyway. Other guys may be different.
Xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So you all claim to be genuine but very few of you show for an arranged meet at a club. Why is that?
there's also the other side to the problem... You show for the meet, ignore me all night long, then bitch and moan that you make an effort to go to the club with no communication...
am I too fussy in saying that i will not ask to play but will wait to be asked.
so... All in all, ive had two club meets over two days, one no show, one ignorant. Now im left extremely horny, frustrated and a week til i can next play out
few questions.... and a few answers...
a) I do go to clubs.... I would meet someone if I was already going to a club that night, but I wouldn't go out of my way to meet someone in a club if I wasn't already going.... added expense If that makes sense...
b) so people are much shyer than others... even me... for example, I met a lovely couple last night and spoke to them for a little while eventually, because the club was so busy I didn't want to feel I was taking up all their time if there were other people they wanted to talk to......and yes nerves can still get the better of people!!!
c) if you want to play with someone then why not ask!!! is it a fear of rejection thing, because now you get a bit of a sense on what it is like to be a single guy in clubs!....
there is a lovely phrase round here..."shy bairns get nowt"... and to be honest men are not mindreaders at the best of time....
I don't know someone is interested in me half the time unless there is a big neon light flashing above their head!
fussy..... bordering on being stubborn... you call it what you want... I will say you may be missing out on a lot of fun by having that rule.....
i think you have the wrong end of the stick. This is a guy i have met before who came to meet me. I am not shy one bit. My main query was why do single guys say they will meet then dont show? They have pre-agreed to a place, a time and what I am looking for/what i am in to. These guys with their unhelpful comments, are you one of these guys?
Why didn't you say that in your post?!?
If someone arranges then let's you down, he's just unreliable. Maybe he bottled it? Maybe he is just messing about? Maybe he isn't interested anymore? It's annoying I know but just move on.
The other thing you mentioned, that's equally your fault as it is his. It works both ways.
Also, I don't know if you considered my comments to be unhelpful, but I'm not one of the guys who messes around. However, ill admit that I wouldn't play with you if you expected me to do all the work. I simply don't need to as there are many women who are eager and I'd probably go for one of those. there's nothing worse than coming onto a woman who shows no interest in you and makes no effort... Personally speaking anyway. Other guys may be different.
Xxx"
Can you work on me? Is that enough interest loooooool 
Seriously though it's meant to be fun, just look at it as his loss!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So you all claim to be genuine but very few of you show for an arranged meet at a club. Why is that?
there's also the other side to the problem... You show for the meet, ignore me all night long, then bitch and moan that you make an effort to go to the club with no communication...
am I too fussy in saying that i will not ask to play but will wait to be asked.
so... All in all, ive had two club meets over two days, one no show, one ignorant. Now im left extremely horny, frustrated and a week til i can next play out "
why didn't you make the effort with the guy that did turn up? maybe he was the same as you and waiting for you to ask, maybe he thought cause you didn't you wasn't interested so didn't want to push it, not being rude but if your calling him ignorant for not asking you to play, yet you didn't ask him does that not in return make you ignorant, ny your own example? or am I miss reading what your saying? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So you all claim to be genuine but very few of you show for an arranged meet at a club. Why is that?
there's also the other side to the problem... You show for the meet, ignore me all night long, then bitch and moan that you make an effort to go to the club with no communication...
am I too fussy in saying that i will not ask to play but will wait to be asked.
so... All in all, ive had two club meets over two days, one no show, one ignorant. Now im left extremely horny, frustrated and a week til i can next play out
why didn't you make the effort with the guy that did turn up? maybe he was the same as you and waiting for you to ask, maybe he thought cause you didn't you wasn't interested so didn't want to push it, not being rude but if your calling him ignorant for not asking you to play, yet you didn't ask him does that not in return make you ignorant, ny your own example? or am I miss reading what your saying?"
Conversation is a two way street...why should he be expected to do all the running just because he is a guy? He might be somewhere now wondering why he bothered to come to the club because you ignored him all night...we only have your side of the story after all. There is always the fact too that guys are repeatedly told (and rightly so) that just because they have turned up/paid entry to a club they are not guaranteed sex...there is the possibility that he was waiting for some kind of signal from you before making a move because he didn't want to come across as pushy or get kicked out. You can't put it all on him because you didn't get what you wanted...you need to put the effort in too.
The no show from the previous night is a different story and yes I can understand you being miffed about that, but I'm not going to pander to you thinking that because he didn't make the first move he has wasted your time...maybe you could have done a better job at communicating that a first move was wanted if you're too shy to make the move yourself. I'm not the best at making the first move either, but would rather risk a knock back than waste a potentially great meet |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So you all claim to be genuine but very few of you show for an arranged meet at a club. Why is that?
there's also the other side to the problem... You show for the meet, ignore me all night long, then bitch and moan that you make an effort to go to the club with no communication...
am I too fussy in saying that i will not ask to play but will wait to be asked.
so... All in all, ive had two club meets over two days, one no show, one ignorant. Now im left extremely horny, frustrated and a week til i can next play out
why didn't you make the effort with the guy that did turn up? maybe he was the same as you and waiting for you to ask, maybe he thought cause you didn't you wasn't interested so didn't want to push it, not being rude but if your calling him ignorant for not asking you to play, yet you didn't ask him does that not in return make you ignorant, ny your own example? or am I miss reading what your saying?
Conversation is a two way street...why should he be expected to do all the running just because he is a guy? He might be somewhere now wondering why he bothered to come to the club because you ignored him all night...we only have your side of the story after all. There is always the fact too that guys are repeatedly told (and rightly so) that just because they have turned up/paid entry to a club they are not guaranteed sex...there is the possibility that he was waiting for some kind of signal from you before making a move because he didn't want to come across as pushy or get kicked out. You can't put it all on him because you didn't get what you wanted...you need to put the effort in too.
The no show from the previous night is a different story and yes I can understand you being miffed about that, but I'm not going to pander to you thinking that because he didn't make the first move he has wasted your time...maybe you could have done a better job at communicating that a first move was wanted if you're too shy to make the move yourself. I'm not the best at making the first move either, but would rather risk a knock back than waste a potentially great meet"
If he'd made the first move the thread may have been complaining about guys that expect sex when they go to a club!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's a fair point though - just because you're in a swinging club doesn't mean you're 100% going to have anyone want to have sex with you.
Owning a vagina isn't enough on its own.
i 100% agree that a meet does not guarantee play, but surely a meet guarantees an actual meet and conversation....
my free time is limited and want to make the most of it with true gen guys... That really isn't too much to ask from a swingers site... Is it?"
No need in time wasters. There needs to be some kind of reporting feature as it gives the site a bad name even though it's not the sites fault it would put a lot of people off. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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have seen many threads about single guys can not get meets
then when offered meet they are no shows all say wont let you down but so many do we was let down yet again that is the 12 th time on the bounce so quess what guys not again !!!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's a fair point though - just because you're in a swinging club doesn't mean you're 100% going to have anyone want to have sex with you.
Owning a vagina isn't enough on its own.
i 100% agree that a meet does not guarantee play, but surely a meet guarantees an actual meet and conversation....
my free time is limited and want to make the most of it with true gen guys... That really isn't too much to ask from a swingers site... Is it?
No need in time wasters. There needs to be some kind of reporting feature as it gives the site a bad name even though it's not the sites fault it would put a lot of people off."
There is. Click on the profile. Click report. Choose 'arranged meet - did not turn up'. Simples!!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Like people have said, don't expect men to do all the chasing, you've gotta put the effort in and thinking you're queen bee by not making the effort and expecting them to do all the work, suck it up and move on instead of whinging |
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"If a guy had posted this thread he would be told paying to get into a club does not mean your going to get laid. So the same logic should apply to you.
Just be glad it did not cost you £40 to get in and the weekend is not far away.
Does that mean I might not get a shag when I visit Jaydees in June? Bloody liberty!
Yes it is a possibility you might not. I have never met you but I get the impression you would have no problem asking somebody to play
You're down as going too *rubs hands and
cackles evilly*
Posts bodyguard meet request lol"
Whats the pay like.... and are there any benefits |
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"I find it extraordinary and unbelievable to hear this in a swinger site with so many single guys complaining that they cannot pull and yet when they secure themselves a meet... They do not turn up!
I can sympathize with OP that some of us have a life with limited free time and there is no excuse for not informing that person that we have arranged to meet that something awful prevents them from attending the meeting.
It's an absolute lack of respect. "
your the posters fb...maybe you being there made it difficult for him to know what to do or feel with you being there!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If a guy had posted this thread he would be told paying to get into a club does not mean your going to get laid. So the same logic should apply to you.
Just be glad it did not cost you £40 to get in and the weekend is not far away.
Does that mean I might not get a shag when I visit Jaydees in June? Bloody liberty!
Yes it is a possibility you might not. I have never met you but I get the impression you would have no problem asking somebody to play
You're down as going too *rubs hands and
cackles evilly*
Posts bodyguard meet request lol
Whats the pay like.... and are there any
benefits"
The payment is in kind and the benefits are the payment |
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It always takes two to tango, and the art of conversation will always be a two way street. I'm just very puzzled why the OP never made the first move and went over to say hi to the guy she arranged to meet?
There is no rule written in stone that states the guy always has to make the first move.
As for the other guy who was a no show, what was the selection process when selecting him to meet? Did he have "meet in person verifications" on his profile here? Did you swap phone numbers and talk with him on the phone before meeting?
Simple steps like these can often out the timewasters.
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"If a guy had posted this thread he would be told paying to get into a club does not mean your going to get laid. So the same logic should apply to you.
Just be glad it did not cost you £40 to get in and the weekend is not far away.
Does that mean I might not get a shag when I visit Jaydees in June? Bloody liberty!
Yes it is a possibility you might not. I have never met you but I get the impression you would have no problem asking somebody to play
You're down as going too *rubs hands and
cackles evilly*
Posts bodyguard meet request lol
Whats the pay like.... and are there any
benefits
The payment is in kind and the benefits are the payment "
Application is in the post then |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"have seen many threads about single guys can not get meets
then when offered meet they are no shows all say wont let you down but so many do we was let down yet again that is the 12 th time on the bounce so quess what guys not again !!!!!"
Not single men bashing but They are referred to as single men and maybe that's the problem 'there not' and have their plans spoilt we've bumped into two men we know to be married one even asked us to stay mum as I know his wife's friend. my friend tells men that she will scratch and bite when she's getting fucked to test if there are genuine singles and continue messaging |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Personally I'd prefer to attend a club either by myself or with someone I already know.
In a "meet" type situation I'd prefer to know them beforehand before meeting at a club. I like to trust the person - don't think that's much to ask. |
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"Personally I'd prefer to attend a club either by myself or with someone I already know.
In a "meet" type situation I'd prefer to know them beforehand before meeting at a club. I like to trust the person - don't think that's much to ask.
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's a fair point though - just because you're in a swinging club doesn't mean you're 100% going to have anyone want to have sex with you.
Owning a vagina isn't enough on its own.
i 100% agree that a meet does not guarantee play, but surely a meet guarantees an actual meet and conversation....
my free time is limited and want to make the most of it with true gen guys... That really isn't too much to ask from a swingers site... Is it?
No need in time wasters. There needs to be some kind of reporting feature as it gives the site a bad name even though it's not the sites fault it would put a lot of people off.
There is. Click on the profile. Click report. Choose 'arranged meet - did not turn up'. Simples!! "
Interesting! Didn't know you could do that, thanks for the info. Touch wood will never need to use it though |
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"have seen many threads about single guys can not get meets
then when offered meet they are no shows all say wont let you down but so many do we was let down yet again that is the 12 th time on the bounce so quess what guys not again !!!!!"
Wow! Really? You've been let down by single men 12 twelve times in a row?? And you cannot see that your selection process must be apportioned a major part of the blame??? |
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If I'm considering going to a club with a man I haven't previously met I'll meet him in a pub nearby first. That way if he doesn't show I can still go on my own and not be looking for him. If he does show and is nothing like his pics I can make my excuses and go to the club alone, same if he turns out to be socially inept.
And it also means we can establish ground rules. So if he's a nice guy but I don't fancy him I might suggest we go to the club together but as friends with no intent to play - nice, well mannered single guys are always popular even if they're not my type.
And if I fancy the pants off him he probably won't get a chance to finish his drink before I've whisked him into the club and off into a room!
It also means you have a chance to discuss other things like if you play in open or private rooms, if you like others to join in, if you prefer him to make the invitation to play and of course to clarify the condom issue (I react to some so always insist on using mine). |
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"Surely there were others at the club? I'm sorry but I don't understand the issue. Isn't this one of the reasons why people arrange club meets? Or have I missed the point on this?"
Must admit to struggling to understand too. |
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By *RYBBWCouple
over a year ago
Leeds. |
"My friend tells men that she will scratch and bite when she's getting fucked to test if there are genuine singles and continue messaging
I'm single and that would put me off..."
Mmmmm. Maybe a good ploy to try out. I'll start informing possible meets I engage in biting, scratching and depositing a plethora of love bites on and around the neck.
It will be interesting to see how many back out lol. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Why wait to be asked and then complain you weren't asked? It's no more difficult for you to approach a man than it is for him to approach you.
Probably because some women like to be seduced or taken .and certainly like men who have the ability to chat them up, if a guy is too shy tp make the first move some women don't find it attractive .
I personally don't like women who make it too easy . I prefer those that play hard to get its so different to the others
A guaranteed shag at a club for £40 is still cheaper than tanking a vanilla girl out for dinner, drinks etc
A night out for £40 is pretty cheap. I spend more than that going into southampton having a few drinks and a taxi."
It's fine if a woman wants to wait on a man to make things happen but it seems a bit daft to then complain if it didn't happen. Just as for the men, nobody owes her a shag.
As for the other comment, even if a night in a club did cost only £40, which is unlikely, as pointed out in another post, since when has a night at a club ever been a guaranteed shag for anyone?!
It's often club visitors who think their entry fee entitles them to more than just admission to the club who are the problematic ones.
Nobody is guaranteed sex in a club. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
i think you have the wrong end of the stick. This is a guy i have met before who came to meet me. I am not shy one bit. My main query was why do single guys say they will meet then dont show? They have pre-agreed to a place, a time and what I am looking for/what i am in to. These guys with their unhelpful comments, are you one of these guys?
no... you don't make any of that clear in your post..... and if anyone has the temirity to disagree they are "one of those guys".... got it!!! only tell you what you want to hear! right....
so I am now going to say what a lot of the others have.... your selection process may need looking at....
the bit about waiting to be asked absolutely stands! if someone always wait on someone else then invariably nothing get done...
so the question is why do you always wait to be asked? they may well be waiting on you.. and dont want to look as if they are being pushy.....
maybe (controversial time) you should remember we are all adults, and if you want to play, then pipe up rather than pouting!"
Would definitely suggest a slight change in approach...or in this case, make one! 
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Really don't know why the OP is taking such a panning over this.
A guy is the only one who turns up for a meet, pays his £40 and then doesn't make the effort to make some chat.
The majority of women tend to like a male to take the lead, however, can understand the guy may have been nervous.
Clubs have two types of single guys. The ones who will pass a warm smile and some conversation and the ones who will ignore a female in a changing room and the social area yet expect to just follow a girl into the play area and join in. Guess which one has more success?
He |
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"Really don't know why the OP is taking such a panning over this.
A guy is the only one who turns up for a meet, pays his £40 and then doesn't make the effort to make some chat.
The majority of women tend to like a male to take the lead, however, can understand the guy may have been nervous.
Clubs have two types of single guys. The ones who will pass a warm smile and some conversation and the ones who will ignore a female in a changing room and the social area yet expect to just follow a girl into the play area and join in. Guess which one has more success?
He"
maybe in Scotland and your particular club there are only 2 types of single guy but to generalise across the board and say thats the case everywhere else is a load of old twaddle, maybe you only LOOK or SEE 2 types of guy as you seem to play with singles more, but being fair to the guys theres far more to them than that, you cant stereotype like that. its a bit like me saying there are only 2 types of couples those that know it all and those that just think they do, and that would be bollocks too.
Anyway I cant understand why single guys are dissected and pulled apart almost every single day on here but it is the single woman that cause most of the shit on here especially the ones who spend all day bashing out their wonderous pronouncements on every body elses swing forum posts but the nearest they have ever been to swinging was when they were in the park the other day pushing their grandkids on park rides. Armchair swingers , the curse of the forums lol yes you know who you are.
hang on , whats that i hear in the distance its the wailing of the banshees as they gather the clique ready to bash their keyboards in anger lol |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"
i think you have the wrong end of the stick. This is a guy i have met before who came to meet me. I am not shy one bit. My main query was why do single guys say they will meet then dont show? They have pre-agreed to a place, a time and what I am looking for/what i am in to. These guys with their unhelpful comments, are you one of these guys?
no... you don't make any of that clear in your post..... and if anyone has the temirity to disagree they are "one of those guys".... got it!!! only tell you what you want to hear! right....
so I am now going to say what a lot of the others have.... your selection process may need looking at....
the bit about waiting to be asked absolutely stands! if someone always wait on someone else then invariably nothing get done...
so the question is why do you always wait to be asked? they may well be waiting on you.. and dont want to look as if they are being pushy.....
maybe (controversial time) you should remember we are all adults, and if you want to play, then pipe up rather than pouting!
Would definitely suggest a slight change in approach...or in this case, make one!
"
I find going up to the guy and chatting works a treat. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Really don't know why the OP is taking such a panning over this.
A guy is the only one who turns up for a meet, pays his £40 and then doesn't make the effort to make some chat.
The majority of women tend to like a male to take the lead, however, can understand the guy may have been nervous.
Clubs have two types of single guys. The ones who will pass a warm smile and some conversation and the ones who will ignore a female in a changing room and the social area yet expect to just follow a girl into the play area and join in. Guess which one has more success?
He
maybe in Scotland and your particular club there are only 2 types of single guy but to generalise across the board and say thats the case everywhere else is a load of old twaddle, maybe you only LOOK or SEE 2 types of guy as you seem to play with singles more, but being fair to the guys theres far more to them than that, you cant stereotype like that. its a bit like me saying there are only 2 types of couples those that know it all and those that just think they do, and that would be bollocks too.
Anyway I cant understand why single guys are dissected and pulled apart almost every single day on here but it is the single woman that cause most of the shit on here especially the ones who spend all day bashing out their wonderous pronouncements on every body elses swing forum posts but the nearest they have ever been to swinging was when they were in the park the other day pushing their grandkids on park rides. Armchair swingers , the curse of the forums lol yes you know who you are.
hang on , whats that i hear in the distance its the wailing of the banshees as they gather the clique ready to bash their keyboards in anger lol "
And that's not a sweeping generalisation about single women but it's ok you put smiley faces on your post.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
i think you have the wrong end of the stick. This is a guy i have met before who came to meet me. I am not shy one bit. My main query was why do single guys say they will meet then dont show? They have pre-agreed to a place, a time and what I am looking for/what i am in to. These guys with their unhelpful comments, are you one of these guys?
no... you don't make any of that clear in your post..... and if anyone has the temirity to disagree they are "one of those guys".... got it!!! only tell you what you want to hear! right....
so I am now going to say what a lot of the others have.... your selection process may need looking at....
the bit about waiting to be asked absolutely stands! if someone always wait on someone else then invariably nothing get done...
so the question is why do you always wait to be asked? they may well be waiting on you.. and dont want to look as if they are being pushy.....
maybe (controversial time) you should remember we are all adults, and if you want to play, then pipe up rather than pouting!
Would definitely suggest a slight change in approach...or in this case, make one!
I find going up to the guy and chatting works a treat. "
Sound advice!! |
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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago
South West London / Surrey |
"have seen many threads about single guys can not get meets
then when offered meet they are no shows all say wont let you down but so many do we was let down yet again that is the 12 th time on the bounce so quess what guys not again !!!!!"
If you have been let down 12 times on the trot then without wanting to sound harsh....you are the ones choosing them so have to take some responsibility. Look at your selection process and see what you can change to limit it keep happening.
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"If a guy had posted this thread he would be told paying to get into a club does not mean your going to get laid. So the same logic should apply to you.
Just be glad it did not cost you £40 to get in and the weekend is not far away.
Does that mean I might not get a shag when I visit Jaydees in June? Bloody liberty!"
I'll find someone to take gooooood care of you |
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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago
South West London / Surrey |
There must have been others in the club that caught your eye or who you could have approached?
That's surely part of the appeal of clubs....not putting all your eggs in one basket. If a meet doesn't turn up or they are not as expected, you can still mingle and meet others.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I find it extraordinary and unbelievable to hear this in a swinger site with so many single guys complaining that they cannot pull and yet when they secure themselves a meet... They do not turn up!
I can sympathize with OP that some of us have a life with limited free time and there is no excuse for not informing that person that we have arranged to meet that something awful prevents them from attending the meeting.
It's an absolute lack of respect."
that is one reason why we only meet single guys at clubs - we had many meets up for single guys, which were usual a drink first; if it's okay and not a 9ft tall King Kong axe murderer fun followed.
Some were a polite "no thanks", due to their personal hygiene issues, others never turned up, others made excuses and kept us waiting for ages...
I can see both sides, but if a couple gives a single guy a chance for a meet; then to get loads of fibs served, ruins it for all the others.
And it wasn't just one single guy but a whole string of single guys...So can see where OP is coming from |
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We do find the guys a bit shy at approaching us,the ones that do, we try to help them relax and feel comfortable,sometimes wife will start off, and sometimes she will say I nipping off to loo see if he his interested in joining us,I do like the latter,as I do like the reaction I get,when I say my wife wants you to fuck her brains out |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We do find the guys a bit shy at approaching us,the ones that do, we try to help them relax and feel comfortable,sometimes wife will start off, and sometimes she will say I nipping off to loo see if he his interested in joining us,I do like the latter,as I do like the reaction I get,when I say my wife wants you to fuck her brains out "
That's a great approach to it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So you all claim to be genuine but very few of you show for an arranged meet at a club. Why is that?
there's also the other side to the problem... You show for the meet, ignore me all night long, then bitch and moan that you make an effort to go to the club with no communication...
am I too fussy in saying that i will not ask to play but will wait to be asked.
so... All in all, ive had two club meets over two days, one no show, one ignorant. Now im left extremely horny, frustrated and a week til i can next play out "
Another moaning female thread |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe he turned up took one look and did a runner lol
Probably did 
Meow, I can sense tension , or is it jealousy "
Why would I wanna be jealous? it's tension lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe he turned up took one look and did a runner lol
Probably did
Meow, I can sense tension , or is it jealousy
Why would I wanna be jealous? it's tension lol"
Is it, seemed very personal, why would you write such a thing??? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Bondagebabe...
you know me..
from no.3.. I know your mum and dad.
I know I do and I know you know them
why'd you think they'd run? "
You go with your fb (Phil is it?) so they might have gotten scared if you mentioned you were going with him, but could be lots of reasons, first time at a club etc |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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hang on...
not read the thread, too many posts...
you ask someone to meet you in a club then dont approach them when they are there because you like to be approached?
ever thought they could be shy?
ever thought they may be afraid of being blown out (not off) in front of a load of people?
you do realise that an organised meet is a mutual 'contract', for want of a better term, and there is as much emphasis on you making a move as there is on them?
now i get the whole moan about jumping through hoops. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well I've been on here for 5 months now, tried so hard to meet a single lady! I've spent ages talking, then when meeting is brought up they ignore you or block! I am totally genuine and if I arrange a meet I would always turn up! Luckily there was a very nice couple who invited me to their home and we had a great night!!
Fingers crossed I'll have more luck this year |
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There does seem to be an assumption that since she would have liked him to approach her for a play then he should have done so.
But what if he just didn't want to? We are reminded so often that ladies can refuse whoever for whatever reason and that no-one should take offense. In fact in swinging anyone is entitled to not want to play and expecting an explanation is generally considered bad manners.
So he didn't make an approach after you'd arranged to meet at a club. Well if he was happy to pay to get there and to get in and still didn't approach the only conclusion is that he just wasn't that into you. Chalk it up to experience and move on. |
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"So you all claim to be genuine but very few of you show for an arranged meet at a club. Why is that?
there's also the other side to the problem... You show for the meet, ignore me all night long, then bitch and moan that you make an effort to go to the club with no communication...
am I too fussy in saying that i will not ask to play but will wait to be asked.
so... All in all, ive had two club meets over two days, one no show, one ignorant. Now im left extremely horny, frustrated and a week til i can next play out "
Single guy bashing threads are all the rage, go girl go
*disclaimer: No sarcasm was involved in the posting of this reply |
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