FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Uncomfortable with mmf or same room
Uncomfortable with mmf or same room
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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As much as there are couples who don't mind their other half getting a few knocks at a separate area, there are others who prefers to stay in the same room, either to watch or to join in for a threesome. I respect his wishes, I'm just not comfortable with getting into threesomes or anything like that. Is there a way I can get comfortable with another guy being in the same room as I am if he wishes it? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know. I don't want to sound rude or anything, but it's looking into other options in case I get rejected by most women in the area.  "
I'll be honest ypu don't sound rude, just disrespectful.
But you may want to consider why couples have an MFM and why you might not be that attractive a proposition to a couple?
If you really want to meet couples as a second best option and would prefer the male not to be involved maybe consider cuckolding? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have had many experiences over the years with my ex partner and in many of those it was very clear that the other guy was only interested in getting laid and was totally uncomfortable with me being there. You have to actually want the 3 sum in the first place rather than it being a means to an end. If you just want sex with a woman then stick to just that but if you want to have fun pleasuring a woman at the same time as another guy then that's what 3 sums are about. Nothing to be scared of its and it can be an amazingly erotic experience. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know. I don't want to sound rude or anything, but it's looking into other options in case I get rejected by most women in the area.
I'll be honest ypu don't sound rude, just disrespectful.
But you may want to consider why couples have an MFM and why you might not be that attractive a proposition to a couple?
If you really want to meet couples as a second best option and would prefer the male not to be involved maybe consider cuckolding?"
This too  |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"I know. I don't want to sound rude or anything, but it's looking into other options in case I get rejected by most women in the area. "
So in case the single women aren't interested you want to meet couples but without the man being involved, and, ideally, not even in the room?
You might want to think that through a bit more, to be honest. Why would a couple do that?
Best of luck anyway. |
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I think most couples who meet single guys - apart from cuckold - are wanting a threesome. Otherwise what would be in it for the male of the couple?
If you're concerned about coming into contact with the other guy, why is that? It wouldn't make you gay or bi!
I think you should stick to looking for single women as your negative attitude has little to offer a couple. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have had many experiences over the years with my ex partner and in many of those it was very clear that the other guy was only interested in getting laid and was totally uncomfortable with me being there. You have to actually want the 3 sum in the first place rather than it being a means to an end. If you just want sex with a woman then stick to just that but if you want to have fun pleasuring a woman at the same time as another guy then that's what 3 sums are about. Nothing to be scared of its and it can be an amazingly erotic experience. "
I agree 100 percent! That is what I love about joining in with cpls. I love pleasing her, to the point she is so hot and wet, and watching them both feed off her sexual energy.
Its a beautiful thing! |
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There is nothing wrong with being uncomfortable with any situation. But since most couples are looking to play together you may be better off by limiting yourself to single fems and couples who.like the female to go off and play then return to her other half to share details.
If you really want to try to work this through then I'd suggest clubs. You will have tho opportunity to watch, to interact with people and also to explain that you have an issue you are trying to work on. A couple you met without discussing this could be miffed if it doesn't work out, at least at a club they (and you) have more options. |
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I think the OP is being very sensible. It's a well known FACT that just catching site of another man naked will make you catch the ghey. See another man's erection and you will be taking a deep interest in soft furnishings quicker that you can say Dale Winton. |
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One reason I meet couples is I love the whole threesomes' thing much more than an mf meet.
I've meet couples where the husband/partner stays downstairs, watches and doesn't join in, watches and then joins in, joins in from the start, takes pics, etc etc and I'm comfortable in any of those scenarios.
Couples will all have their own ways of plating and if you're not comfortable with the other guy being around, don't meet couples; meeting a couple shouldn't be a shortcut to getting a shag just because single ladies are harder to come by (no pun intended). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As much as there are couples who don't mind their other half getting a few knocks at a separate area, there are others who prefers to stay in the same room, either to watch or to join in for a threesome. I respect his wishes, I'm just not comfortable with getting into threesomes or anything like that. Is there a way I can get comfortable with another guy being in the same room as I am if he wishes it?"
My new shoes were uncomfortable so I didnt wear them.
If you dont like it dont do it! Simples. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If a guy turned up at ours for a meet then suddenly declared he didn't want me in the room the only thing he'd be seeing is the front door I'm afraid . There are couples who enjoy this but they're few and far between , the OP needs to realize he's not the one doing the couple a favour , plenty more where you came from |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As much as there are couples who don't mind their other half getting a few knocks at a separate area, there are others who prefers to stay in the same room, either to watch or to join in for a threesome. I respect his wishes, I'm just not comfortable with getting into threesomes or anything like that. Is there a way I can get comfortable with another guy being in the same room as I am if he wishes it?"
I feel the same about same room with another guy....or GBs etc...
Based on my experience... I'd say, you only meet single ladies... And couples that meet separately...
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If a guy turned up at ours for a meet then suddenly declared he didn't want me in the room the only thing he'd be seeing is the front door I'm afraid . There are couples who enjoy this but they're few and far between , the OP needs to realize he's not the one doing the couple a favour , plenty more where you came from "
This |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If a guy turned up at ours for a meet then suddenly declared he didn't want me in the room the only thing he'd be seeing is the front door I'm afraid . There are couples who enjoy this but they're few and far between , the OP needs to realize he's not the one doing the couple a favour , plenty more where you came from "
Very well said
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By *andd2Couple
over a year ago
The Dungeon |
"If a guy turned up at ours for a meet then suddenly declared he didn't want me in the room the only thing he'd be seeing is the front door I'm afraid . There are couples who enjoy this but they're few and far between , the OP needs to realize he's not the one doing the couple a favour , plenty more where you came from "
We have before and no doubt we will again show the guy the way out if he came to meet us expecting me to just sit in the corner or leave the room. He's totally ignorant about the mechanics of couples meeting single guys and what the couple are looking for in a meet. Sure there are couples who cuckold and love that but by far the greater majority of couples who seek single guys do it for the threesome pleasure of BOTH guys pleasing the lady. A word of advice to you; unless they state otherwise the male of the couple isn't interested in YOU, isn't looking for gay sex etc. You're just an extra prick for the ladies pleasure. Talking of pricks.... Well you are what you are |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP, what your looking for is no strings sex with another woman.
why would you even consider looking at couples if you dont want the other bloke in attendance?
ah yes, the old covering all the bases thing.
glad i read this.
its another making sure we dont make the same mistake |
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"As much as there are couples who don't mind their other half getting a few knocks at a separate area, there are others who prefers to stay in the same room, either to watch or to join in for a threesome. I respect his wishes, I'm just not comfortable with getting into threesomes or anything like that. Is there a way I can get comfortable with another guy being in the same room as I am if he wishes it?"
There is a way to get comfortable with it. Its called practice. And for their sake as well as you're own, try and enjoy it! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know. I don't want to sound rude or anything, but it's looking into other options in case I get rejected by most women in the area. "
If you aren't comfortable being in the same room with the man who's gf your having sex with not sure u'll have too much joy with couples on here but hey I'm sure there are a few that might b cool with the bf not being there! Not anyone we know tho lol |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"If you are uncomfortable with being around other men, surely the answer is to not meet couples? "
that was my first immediate thought.....
the OP isn't going to like it!!!
the plain answer is to not meet couple and just meet single ladies...
there are couples where they will agree to the way you want to play, it will just be a smaller pool of people then it would be otherwise..... those are the harsh facts.....
if you are asking how you can convince people to play "your way".... sorry there isn't an answer for that.....
for a lot of couples part of the experience will be to play together... whether you like it or not
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you don't feel comfortable around couples with the guy present then this is probably not the site for you. To meet only single women or cuckold couples (wife alone) then realistically you are cutting down your appeal hugely. Most couples meet guys because they like to join in or watch and single woman have enormous choice.
Not being funny but if I were the OP I'd join some casual dating site like Tinder. On swinging sites your probably going to get naked with someone of the same sex in the room and if you can't handle them looking then it's not for you. |
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For every single lady on here there is probably 1000 single men, for every couple there is probably 100 single men.
So just looking at the statistics your chances of meeting just the lady by herself is pretty low. If she reads it's a condition...... virtually zero.
But good luck!
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Having just gone down this route with trying to organise a MMF it seems too many blokes on here are after an easy lay. They advertise as seeing couples then start asking if it's 1-2-1 an when told no it's a 3som they give it all the crap of "shame, could have been fun" why say your into couples if you have no intention of taking part with a couple. Our experiences over the last 72hrs have really made us re-think wether this particular site is for us. Not saying there isn't genuine guys out there, but for every genuine guy there's 10 fold of time wasters |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Having just gone down this route with trying to organise a MMF it seems too many blokes on here are after an easy lay. They advertise as seeing couples then start asking if it's 1-2-1 an when told no it's a 3som they give it all the crap of "shame, could have been fun" why say your into couples if you have no intention of taking part with a couple. Our experiences over the last 72hrs have really made us re-think wether this particular site is for us. Not saying there isn't genuine guys out there, but for every genuine guy there's 10 fold of time wasters "
There is on other sites too guys so get rid of time wasters your a sexy couple you will find one . I would lol |
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This is my single profile, but I also have a joint profile - however, as I mainly meet by myself without my husband we decided to set this one up too. So - OP - there ARE couples who will play your way and (from my experience) possibly more than some people realise. A club isn't a bad place to start - I've seen quite a few couples wandering around separately and then meeting up later to swap stories  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know. I don't want to sound rude or anything, but it's looking into other options in case I get rejected by most women in the area. "
This comment is a bit insulting really. No one wants to feel like you are just settling for them because you have no other options. Does it make you uncomfortable because you have not experienced it yet and are unsure how you would feel or perform? If you really want to become comfortable with other men around go visit a club and just observe and socialize. If you still feel uncomfortable it is probably not for you. It's perfectly ok not to want this type of threesome but don't put yourself and a couple in an uncomfortable situation where its apparent you have no real interest in a mfm. |
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"I have had many experiences over the years with my ex partner and in many of those it was very clear that the other guy was only interested in getting laid and was totally uncomfortable with me being there. You have to actually want the 3 sum in the first place rather than it being a means to an end. If you just want sex with a woman then stick to just that but if you want to have fun pleasuring a woman at the same time as another guy then that's what 3 sums are about. Nothing to be scared of its and it can be an amazingly erotic experience. "
Spot on! Me and my wife have only had one meet so far (unverified) and it was a threesome with another bloke. Both of us males did not mind being in the same room our attention was just on my wife for obvious reasons. We both really enjoyed it as their was a heightened sexual feeling for both of us.
We block any single males that seem to only want to get their end away (they should go find a willing single female in that case) however we happily accept single males if a threesome is specifically what they like |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have had many experiences over the years with my ex partner and in many of those it was very clear that the other guy was only interested in getting laid and was totally uncomfortable with me being there. You have to actually want the 3 sum in the first place rather than it being a means to an end. If you just want sex with a woman then stick to just that but if you want to have fun pleasuring a woman at the same time as another guy then that's what 3 sums are about. Nothing to be scared of its and it can be an amazingly erotic experience. "
I wouldn't want you there knowing you were only in it for yourself . .
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Having just gone down this route with trying to organise a MMF it seems too many blokes on here are after an easy lay. They advertise as seeing couples then start asking if it's 1-2-1 an when told no it's a 3som they give it all the crap of "shame, could have been fun" why say your into couples if you have no intention of taking part with a couple. Our experiences over the last 72hrs have really made us re-think wether this particular site is for us. Not saying there isn't genuine guys out there, but for every genuine guy there's 10 fold of time wasters "
Sorry for the wasted time this is what makes being a single guy hard when some spoil the fun factor !
The op should read the profile of the couple before any contact that way if she plays without hubby he's ok
If she doesn't then he's not wasting a couples valuable time ! |
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"Having just gone down this route with trying to organise a MMF it seems too many blokes on here are after an easy lay. They advertise as seeing couples then start asking if it's 1-2-1 an when told no it's a 3som they give it all the crap of "shame, could have been fun" why say your into couples if you have no intention of taking part with a couple. Our experiences over the last 72hrs have really made us re-think wether this particular site is for us. Not saying there isn't genuine guys out there, but for every genuine guy there's 10 fold of time wasters
Sorry for the wasted time this is what makes being a single guy hard when some spoil the fun factor !
The op should read the profile of the couple before any contact that way if she plays without hubby he's ok
If she doesn't then he's not wasting a couples valuable time !"
Or waste his time of course....
I have to say he doesn't know what he's missing. Threesomes are Fab!
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