Hi there,
I am visiting the UK next month and am planning to visit a couple of clubs while I am there - Chams and OP4fun are on my list. I know it is a daunting task to stand out as a single male, and I have no illusions about myself. I would however love to chat with people and would like to get some advice on how I can go about breaking the ice. I was thinking I could take a nice bottle of wine to share - would that work? |
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Just chat to people. Dint be afraid of mingling.
If it's a couple speak to both of them, not just to him while staring at her tits or to her while pretending that she's there alone.
Don't think that because sex might happen that sex is the only topic of conversation. And don't go straight to asking for a fuck. Make general conversation, if you don't know what to say or are nervous then say that. If you want to speak to someone cos they look great then say that - most will have put time and effort into their appearance and a compliment is always welcome.
Know when to move on. Even if you really want to go off and play with whoever you've been talking to give them some space. Couples often like to confer and singles will often know plenty of people there and want to chat to a few. Express your interest in playing and if they don't want to right away then excuse yourself to go to the bar etc and let them have space and time to consider.
Pay attention to what people actually say. If they that you and say not yet, maybe later then they probably do mean just that! It's not a polite rebuff like it might be in a traditional bar or club. Many like to socialise and see who's there for a couple of hours before they play. |
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Treat it as a normal pub.
Talk to people, watch their body language, if they look like they don't want to talk, make your excuses and move on. You may get some people who are just blatantly rude, but don't let them out you off, just move onto the next ones.
Don't be afraid to chat to men too. Just don't take their lead and turn into WW's (Wandering Wankers). You never know, a chat with a bloke at the beginning of the night, could turn into a group play later when he remembers you. |
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"Treat it as a normal pub.
Talk to people, watch their body language, if they look like they don't want to talk, make your excuses and move on. You may get some people who are just blatantly rude, but don't let them out you off, just move onto the next ones.
Don't be afraid to chat to men too. Just don't take their lead and turn into WW's (Wandering Wankers). You never know, a chat with a bloke at the beginning of the night, could turn into a group play later when he remembers you. "
And if someone isn't your cup of tea sexually don't dismiss them or be rude. It's a community and people know each other and you have no idea who that person knows or could introduce you to. It's fairly common that a swinging friend or acquaintance will ask about someone if they have seen you chatting. If you are rude or a bit of a knob then the word will pass around. If you are pleasant if just talking about the weather or even making a polite and tactful refusal to someone you don't fancy that will get around too. |
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"Treat it as a normal pub.
Talk to people, watch their body language, if they look like they don't want to talk, make your excuses and move on. You may get some people who are just blatantly rude, but don't let them out you off, just move onto the next ones.
Don't be afraid to chat to men too. Just don't take their lead and turn into WW's (Wandering Wankers). You never know, a chat with a bloke at the beginning of the night, could turn into a group play later when he remembers you. "
Very useful advice. I think the key is to not go with a limited one-dimensional goal of sex. This is ultimately a social experience, and I should treat it as such. I will not be a WW!! |
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"Very useful advice. I think the key is to not go with a limited one-dimensional goal of sex. This is ultimately a social experience, and I should treat it as such. I will not be a WW!!"
Absolutely right.
Enjoy your time there and if you end up with an invite to play then that's a bonus.  |
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I guess I will just have to wing it.