FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Where am I going wrong?
Where am I going wrong?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi...
Ive been on the site 2+ months and managed to muster up just one meet (saying that, it was an amazing meet haha)...
What does a single bloke have to do in order to get a meet? I understand the face pics thing, but with work i cant put them public but happy to send with message...
I prefer meets and not clubs or club meets due to work time constraints and they aint the cheapest are they to be honest lol
If anyone could help, id appreciate it... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Attend socials in your area, sell yourself in your profile and stand out,...keep with the forums as this can create meets etc.  "
With the profile, i struggle to know what to write about myself... i sell myself better in person haha...
Also, i find that im a year younger than majority of peoples age ranges (i know that cant be helped)
Thanks anyway beautiful x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Your profile is 12 words long. Minimal effort = minimal reward.
Attending clubs and socials undeniably makes it easier to meet but it isn't the only way to get meets (despite the fact that it now seems standard advice for anyone looking for advice) so if you are excluding that option you need to make your profile stand out from the 100's of other men on here |
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A bit more effort in your profile text would help.
Explain that you like club meets but make it cleat you're not wanting to use a lady to get into couples nights or in cheap.
Do you do hotel meets?
Will you meet in a public place first briefly to establish if you both want to take things further?
What kind of people do you prefer to meet?
What experiences are you looking for? What are your skills?
Is your time restricted by work hours or family commitments?
While you're doing this keep it positive, make definite statements but don't slag anyone off. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Add more to profile, get to socials, and bum around the forums?"
Bum around?? 
Thats exactly what I'm doing today!!
Sorry op, I digress. Have a look at your profile. Would you be interested in meeting you? Us ladies do have a lot to choose from. |
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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago
Hull |
OK, look at similar threads to this on the Forum Pages and they will say the same thing.
You have only been on here for 2 months!! This is not an Instant Fix site; if you thought otherwise, dream on!! But as you have managed to get one meet already, so you have done well so far, and far better than a lot of other guys too!
But you still have a long way to go.
Your Profile is only 2 lines! You have to expand on it as you are up against so many other guys and to get "noticed" you have to "SELL" yourself! Put in an idea of what you like, what you seek etc etc.
The cock shots are a "no-no" and should be consigned to private use; get a facial pic installed instead.
Get onto the Forum pages, go to socials or clubs in your area; it is all about being "noticed" and becoming known.
It takes perseverance, patience and even more patience, but it can work out in the end. But on here, it is a simple fact of life, the more you put in, the more you get out!
Good luck.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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That's better but you can do even better than that. Research the successful male and female profiles on the forum. There are plenty of them. See if you can work out what makes them work for them. Then create one that will really work for you. It's not a 5 minute job. Good luck
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Your profile is your shop window..,no one can tell you what to write in it as then it wouldn't be your profile!
Try and make it individual to yourself!
Good luck OP  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For us its about first impressions and a knob as a profile pic is an instant no no, we wont even read the profile or reply to messages.
Mr Gimp  "
ive been called a knob . And my profile pics a ass . Work that one out |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For us its about first impressions and a knob as a profile pic is an instant no no, we wont even read the profile or reply to messages.
Mr Gimp ive been called a knob . And my profile pics a ass . Work that one out "
A knob AND ass, does that make you DonkeyDong
Gimp |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For us its about first impressions and a knob as a profile pic is an instant no no, we wont even read the profile or reply to messages.
Mr Gimp ive been called a knob . And my profile pics a ass . Work that one out
A knob AND ass, does that make you DonkeyDong i wish
Gimp"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ignore the people telling you to write a detailed profile, talking bolox the lot of them! (no change there though )
I've been here for about 4 years, got a profile like war and peace, no cock shots and to date i've met someone i knew from elsewhere, someone who noticed an obscure musical reference in a forum post and I played crazy golf and 10 pin bowling with someone on a wet afternoon- see, total bolox and i've almost lived on the bloody site and forum. The only way you're certain to get lots of interest.....have a sex change .
Good job i tart myself round elsewhere innit- 1 cheeky compliment and i've got myself a hot date with a busty, lusty, flirty stunner!  |
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You need to get at least one photo onto your profile, so that it gives people a chance to consider if they may fancy you. You can probably imagine that cock pics aren't usually the winner, but a body shot will give an idea of your build, ethnicity etc.
If you can imagine selling yourself better in person, as you say, then talk to yourself and notice what sounds good. Take a peek at a few single male's profiles and work out which are the better ones, and why. Don't copy them obviously, but if you have a feel for where others may be going right, then you can formulate a profile that reflects you, isn't cliche loaded and makes you sound interesting and compelling. |
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By *bflirtyCouple
over a year ago
Milton Keynes |
We meet singles but it's usually spur of the moment thing so the profile is really important as it's the first thing we look at.
We're always going to ask for a face shot so send that when you make first contact, not wait to be asked for it.
As has already been said, there's a LOT of singles to choose from so your profile needs to be quirky to stand out - it goes a long way with MrsFlirty. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I feel your pain mate, i've tried everything.
Long well thought out profile = ignored
Sucint to the point profile = ignored
Long message describing your tastes interest/taking an interest in their tastes interest = ignored/ deleted without read
Short message asking to check out profile = ignored/deleted without being read.
Trust me i feel your pain lol, best advice i could give is keep going mate, at some point someone will give you a try, you just have to make sure you impress. Ladies here get a ridiculous amount of messages, many of which are offensive or just plain rude. It can be very hard to distinguish yourself from that crowd.
Unfortunately for me, the one person who ever messages back can't meet that often so i'm in the same boat as you haha
Would be nice if some women actually looked at my profile though lol, every time i check my views it's only men looking |
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By *razedcatMan
over a year ago
London / Herts |
"I feel your pain mate, i've tried everything.
Long well thought out profile = ignored
Sucint to the point profile = ignored
Long message describing your tastes interest/taking an interest in their tastes interest = ignored/ deleted without read
Short message asking to check out profile = ignored/deleted without being read.
"
Agreeing with this quite wholeheartedly. I'm lucky that in my few months here, I've actually made a friend, but the swing lifestyle I envisioned hasn't really taken off. And it's not like I'm a sex-crazed loon either, I'm looking for people who share the same worldview as me. Play comes after that  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Agreeing with this quite wholeheartedly. I'm lucky that in my few months here, I've actually made a friend, but the swing lifestyle I envisioned hasn't really taken off. And it's not like I'm a sex-crazed loon either, I'm looking for people who share the same worldview as me. Play comes after that "
Yup, i can get a shag anytime i want, i'm not ugly. Just want a woman or women who want to keep it casual, be friends and hang out without the expectation that we will take it further than just sex and friendship.
That is actually very hard to find offline, even if it is advertised as such at the start, every time they want more. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is a sex site right?.
Inhabited by those who are liberated with regard their outlook to sex right?.
Frequented by those who choose not to be monogamous right?
Yeah right!
If the above was true then...
WHY IS IT AS HARD TO GET A SHAG HERE AS IT IS OUT IN THE REAL WORLD?.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yawn. Oh. Someone not getting something they think they should despite minimal effort and zero imagination? Does 'Hi babe. How r u. Fancy a f*ck?' get you a fabulous experience in real life? Yes? Excellent! Keep doing what you're doing. Some of us are looking for something different. Something that makes every nerve ending stand on end. Something that requires a tad more effort... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is a sex site right?.
Inhabited by those who are liberated with regard their outlook to sex right?.
Frequented by those who choose not to be monogamous right?
Yeah right!
If the above was true then...
WHY IS IT AS HARD TO GET A SHAG HERE AS IT IS OUT IN THE REAL WORLD?.
"
Sex site? thought it was forum site |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Aside from profile detauls etc etc, bear in mind there are stacks of single guys all messaging the same women as you.
We personally have found we get way more interest from single guys than anyone else. |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
"This is a sex site right?.
Inhabited by those who are liberated with regard their outlook to sex right?.
Frequented by those who choose not to be monogamous right?
Yeah right!
If the above was true then...
WHY IS IT AS HARD TO GET A SHAG HERE AS IT IS OUT IN THE REAL WORLD?.
"
Because this is not a sex site and people looking for a SHAG don't get it and wont get very far!
I suggest moving to the other AAFF sites if that is how you communicate with people!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is a sex site right?.
Inhabited by those who are liberated with regard their outlook to sex right?.
Frequented by those who choose not to be monogamous right?
Yeah right!
If the above was true then...
WHY IS IT AS HARD TO GET A SHAG HERE AS IT IS OUT IN THE REAL WORLD?.
"
Nope it's not a sex site
Nope it's not an instashag site
Maybe that's where your going wrong |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yawn. Oh. Someone not getting something they think they should despite minimal effort and zero imagination? Does 'Hi babe. How r u. Fancy a f*ck?' get you a fabulous experience in real life? Yes? Excellent! Keep doing what you're doing. Some of us are looking for something different. Something that makes every nerve ending stand on end. Something that requires a tad more effort... "
I expect it to be hard out in the real world because lets face it, the vast majority of society are not into swinging, gangbanging etc etc. The vast majority see swingers as oddities. Yet on here it would seem that there are many cynical and weary people who place so many restrictions and requirements that it becomes as difficult to get a ride on here as anywhere else. Especially for the single man. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yawn. Oh. Someone not getting something they think they should despite minimal effort and zero imagination? Does 'Hi babe. How r u. Fancy a f*ck?' get you a fabulous experience in real life? Yes? Excellent! Keep doing what you're doing. Some of us are looking for something different. Something that makes every nerve ending stand on end. Something that requires a tad more effort... I expect it to be hard out in the real world because lets face it, the vast majority of society are not into swinging, gangbanging etc etc. The vast majority see swingers as oddities. Yet on here it would seem that there are many cynical and weary people who place so many restrictions and requirements that it becomes as difficult to get a ride on here as anywhere else. Especially for the single man."
Just because we are on here as swingers doesn't mean that we have to just fuck anything, there still needs to a be a spark or an attraction.
Quite a few aren't on here just for a simple shag. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is a sex site right?.
Inhabited by those who are liberated with regard their outlook to sex right?.
Frequented by those who choose not to be monogamous right?
Yeah right!
If the above was true then...
WHY IS IT AS HARD TO GET A SHAG HERE AS IT IS OUT IN THE REAL WORLD?.
Because this is not a sex site and people looking for a SHAG don't get it and wont get very far!
I suggest moving to the other AAFF sites if that is how you communicate with people! "
Well the last time I looked this site was littered with men and woman looking for sex, showing their bits and generally selling themselves. So if its not a sex site then what is it?. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is a sex site right?.
Inhabited by those who are liberated with regard their outlook to sex right?.
Frequented by those who choose not to be monogamous right?
Yeah right!
If the above was true then...
WHY IS IT AS HARD TO GET A SHAG HERE AS IT IS OUT IN THE REAL WORLD?.
Because this is not a sex site and people looking for a SHAG don't get it and wont get very far!
I suggest moving to the other AAFF sites if that is how you communicate with people! Well the last time I looked this site was littered with men and woman looking for sex, showing their bits and generally selling themselves. So if its not a sex site then what is it?."
What's the site called??
Fabinstashag?
Or
Fab swingers?
People that come on here with high expectations of getting laid easily often leave disappointed |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"WHY IS IT AS HARD TO GET A SHAG HERE AS IT IS OUT IN THE REAL WORLD?.
I find it much easier to get a shag on here than in the real world."
Of course you do...your a woman! |
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"WHY IS IT AS HARD TO GET A SHAG HERE AS IT IS OUT IN THE REAL WORLD?.
I find it much easier to get a shag on here than in the real world."
Hello you, I don't know you and we've never met. If I was in York would you have sex with me? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It takes a fair bit of effort to get any kind of "result" and looking at it in those terms (success vs failure) will probably do you little good. Just take things as they come.
I'm fucking hideous and have still managed to make the odd connection here and there. Some of the chaps that come on here moaning are way better looking than me.
In short: I've no idea where you are going wrong. |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"WHY IS IT AS HARD TO GET A SHAG HERE AS IT IS OUT IN THE REAL WORLD?.
I find it much easier to get a shag on here than in the real world.
Of course you do...your a woman!"
Whats that got to do with it? If its easy for me to get a shag on here I should be beating them off with sticks in the real world according to your logic.
Anyway, you still haven't answered my other question. |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"WHY IS IT AS HARD TO GET A SHAG HERE AS IT IS OUT IN THE REAL WORLD?.
I find it much easier to get a shag on here than in the real world.
Hello you, I don't know you and we've never met. If I was in York would you have sex with me? "
Yep. |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
"This is a sex site right?.
Inhabited by those who are liberated with regard their outlook to sex right?.
Frequented by those who choose not to be monogamous right?
Yeah right!
If the above was true then...
WHY IS IT AS HARD TO GET A SHAG HERE AS IT IS OUT IN THE REAL WORLD?.
Because this is not a sex site and people looking for a SHAG don't get it and wont get very far!
I suggest moving to the other AAFF sites if that is how you communicate with people! Well the last time I looked this site was littered with men and woman looking for sex, showing their bits and generally selling themselves. So if its not a sex site then what is it?."
But people have preferences, shock horror! Can you believe it, how dare they not drop their knickers for you when you first ask! SHOCKING! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"WHY IS IT AS HARD TO GET A SHAG HERE AS IT IS OUT IN THE REAL WORLD?.
I find it much easier to get a shag on here than in the real world.
Hello you, I don't know you and we've never met. If I was in York would you have sex with me?
Yep. "
See  that worked well |
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"Not quite as difficult as you may imagine....
Thanks Wyrd, I'll hold you to that one day. Or hold you on it, more like
I'll be holding something "
Even if I shackle your wrists, you can still grip hard  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"WHY IS IT AS HARD TO GET A SHAG HERE AS IT IS OUT IN THE REAL WORLD?.
I find it much easier to get a shag on here than in the real world.
Of course you do...your a woman!"
And in my case I'm 'shagging' men from on here, so every time I do a man does too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is a sex site right?.
Inhabited by those who are liberated with regard their outlook to sex right?.
Frequented by those who choose not to be monogamous right?
Yeah right!
If the above was true then...
WHY IS IT AS HARD TO GET A SHAG HERE AS IT IS OUT IN THE REAL WORLD?.
"
Thank you for demonstrating beautifully how some single guys just don't get swinging. Keep up the good work! |
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"This is a sex site right?.
Inhabited by those who are liberated with regard their outlook to sex right?.
Frequented by those who choose not to be monogamous right?
Yeah right!
If the above was true then...
WHY IS IT AS HARD TO GET A SHAG HERE AS IT IS OUT IN THE REAL WORLD?.
Because this is not a sex site and people looking for a SHAG don't get it and wont get very far!
I suggest moving to the other AAFF sites if that is how you communicate with people! Well the last time I looked this site was littered with men and woman looking for sex, showing their bits and generally selling themselves. So if its not a sex site then what is it?."
cant you work out what it is from the name of the site. |
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By *razedcatMan
over a year ago
London / Herts |
I get the swinging lifestyle. I see how it's a matter of like-minded individuals and groups meeting to socialise and form bonds. The sexual aspect just underpins that.
I actually try to make my understanding known when I message people on here, but I'm simply insta-deleted. Maybe people are put off because I'm young, or because I'm short, or perhaps because I can't host. But it may just be that a negative stereotype of single guys has burrowed itself into this site. True, there are guys who perpetuate that stereotype with their attitude, but it does mean some guys get left by the wayside...
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"Hi...
Ive been on the site 2+ months and managed to muster up just one meet (saying that, it was an amazing meet haha)...
What does a single bloke have to do in order to get a meet? I understand the face pics thing, but with work i cant put them public but happy to send with message...
I prefer meets and not clubs or club meets due to work time constraints and they aint the cheapest are they to be honest lol
If anyone could help, id appreciate it..."
It doesn't always happen instantly! and all good things are worth waiting for.
I know a lot of guys who have been on for months and months and not had a meet.
Be patient! |
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A single female will get 50-100 messages a day if she's verified and has a profile and pics. There are quite simply too many guys to women and couples so if you're profile is shit your pictures are shit or you're just not what they are after you will get deleted its far to much effort to respond to everyone.
This being said there are plenty of guys who get loads of meets so the best suggestion is find some of them and copy what they do |
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Also this childish idea that by signing up to this site or lifestyle means you "have" to shag everything is just incredibly stupid.
Why does taking part in a swinging website meab you have to fuck everyone and abandon you're own desires and attractions ? Just to make a few guys who feel sorry for themselves feel better?
This is outside of the logistics a female profile even heavily filtered will get 50-100 messages a day ? How would one get through that many shag back to back gang bangs ?? Come on think about it all before you post. |
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