FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > What's wrong with people on this site?

What's wrong with people on this site?

By *orianGray OP Man over a year ago

london

Hi to everyone

My name is Giovanni I'm Italian and I'm new in Leeds (before I was in Scotland and in Brighton)

Though it is a long time that I'm a member on Fab I don't use it very often so I didn't have many meets so far.

But it is also true that writing to women and couple on here it could be very discouraging sometimes. I'm not Brad Pitt, but as many women say I'm a very good looking guy (my pictures are public so you can say) and I consider myself also pretty much confident and with a strong personality and sense of humour.

But many people on here just don't answer to my messages, or much worse they just delete them straightforward......My messages are never offensive, stupid or things like hey sexy, hi huni, may I come around tonight?

Although English is not my language I'm quite a clever and argumentative person, plus (I don't intend to be arrogant) but when I see the pictures of the guys have slept with these couples or women are very ugly and the things written on their profile don't reveal a particular high level of intelligence.....................so what? I mean I don't pretend that all the women in Yorkshire want to have sex with me but they have been playing with some monsters and they don't even want to give me the chance of a chat to see how we get on.

I have also thought that probably is a question of being in the right social cast.

Probably these men not particularly attractive have two three four five some all around UK because they know the right people, parties, clubs, etc

But also in this case I tried to chat to some people who were proposing on their profile to play in clubs but then they answered that they don't know when they go exactly and they sounded cold, distant which it makes me feel that this people is not genuine but they are also sponsors of these clubs.

I'm not desperate, I don't need Fab to have sex with women. But it is also true that I joined this web site with the hope of knowing open minded people with whom sharing fantasies and do new exciting experiences and not only sexually but also socially, but except some rare cases of fantastic people I met which they are still my friends (see my reviews) I found a wall made of rude people who mysteriously don't even want to try to know me although I'm good looking, polite and clever. Please I still want to try to enjoy Fab and have new experiences especially with couples, threesomes, parties and clubs, with the right people, if there is anyone on this site who can give me the right advice or much better involving me in parties, group sex, or also just social events I would be extremely grateful. Thanks for reading this long message

Giovanni

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By *empting Devil.Woman over a year ago

Sheffield

A looong rant but a four word profile

You do realise that many women will check out the profile first, often even before reading the message. A poor or non-existent profile does not impress.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"A looong rant but a four word profile

You do realise that many women will check out the profile first, often even before reading the message. A poor or non-existent profile does not impress."

This

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

As above unfortunately, your profile is your advert! And its not selling much

you can clearly explain yourself on your post so try putting a little more on your profile

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By *orianGray OP Man over a year ago

london

[Removed by poster at 14/07/14 23:29:17]

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By *orianGray OP Man over a year ago

london

To Tempting Devil

Good point, I'm not a profile fan, I think it is better go and find out yourself if you like the pictures....and however if you read my comments, you can already have a clue that I'm not a 4 words kind of lover. I can also update my profile, but you really want to make me believe that if a guy contact you and you like his pictures you don't even give it a go and try to know more about him by chatting just because he didn't write a long profile text....mmm, hard to believe honestly. I see your point and I can surely improve my profile but I think there is something else. Probably women like a cheeky english sense of humour that I don,t have unfortunately.....but most of all I believe there are casts on this site, that you have to build a sort of social ID within fab community

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By *hortieWoman over a year ago

Northampton

"A looong rant but a four word profile

You do realise that many women will check out the profile first, often even before reading the message. A poor or non-existent profile does not impress."

blimey you weren't kidding about the 4 word profile! lol

Giovanni - put some of that energy and passion from your post up there into your profile for gods sake man

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By *ucyfur77Woman over a year ago

Pleasuretown

"Hi to everyone

My name is Giovanni I'm Italian and I'm new in Leeds (before I was in Scotland and in Brighton)

Though it is a long time that I'm a member on Fab I don't use it very often so I didn't have many meets so far.

I have also thought that probably is a question of being in the right social cast.

Probably these men not particularly attractive have two three four five some all around UK because they know the right people, parties, clubs, etc

Giovanni "

OP, love the username but there is very little to see on your profile. I.e it doesn't stand out for me

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By *hortieWoman over a year ago

Northampton

oh my - lovely pics though!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

They fell asleep halfway through the rant lol

Her

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By *orianGray OP Man over a year ago

london

Girls first of all thanks for reading my long rant

sorry if I'm in a mood tonight.

I see your point and I totally agree. But trust me this site is full of guys who just put 4/5 pictures of a cock (very often not even big or thick) two words in a bad English and they have 30 verifications and they have been with stunning women from 18 to 80

Much worse many other men put horrible pictures that a woman even after 20 gin and tonic would find sexy and four words and they have loads of verifications they have been involved in threesomes gang bangs and parties.

Some others they have more details profile but they are exactly a copy and paste of other thousands on here....so what's the point?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Arrogance is SUCH a cool look

Gimp

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By *abioMan over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

if you had taken that much time with your profile as you did with your OP rant, then maybe people would know a lot more about you...

your profile is your shop window to the world... and fab swingers hasn't started charging by the word quite yet so how about using some...

4 words doesn't scream "i am different to others and you should pick me over others because..........." 4 words scream "i am too lazy to even bother selling myself"

if you cannot be bother to help yourself, why should others invest the time in helping you?????

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By *iss-PinkWoman over a year ago

Gloucester

I personally wouldn't respond (regardless of how nice pictures may or may not be) because of the poor profile text - I'm one of those who reads the profile before opening the message.

Really - 15 minutes invested in your profile now will possibly make your life so much easier on this site.

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By *orianGray OP Man over a year ago

london

Girls so may of you have 3 words profile because you know that men are so horny that they won't waste time reading. Others instead spend the 95% of the texts to intimidate men because they are shocked from the big quantity of freaks on this site (at least I'm a gentleman and you can see that by my verifications) so why a woman should pretend a romance from me but she cannot be bothered to write something to sound interesting to men rather than write down a codes of practice book?

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By *abioMan over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

there is a lovely phrase.....

if you give a person enough rope... they will eventually hang themselves with it...

slagging off others for your own faults isn't the most attractive trait.... you are doing yourself no favours......

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By *ingersnthumbsMan over a year ago

London

The guy has a very good point!! And I've seen profiles where it's just says "fill later!! Or .... But yet they have meets and verifications? So it doesn't really come down to selling yourself on you're profile! What it really comes down to, is your initial first contact, you're first message and whether you get a reply from it!! I'm I wrong? The art of it, is not all about telling them stuff, about themselves! It's ok having a little chat about them, they got nice pictures, I like your profile ect ect, but what you need to, is put questions in there!! and then they will/maybe respond to you answering your questions! Then you can go from there...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Girls so may of you have 3 words profile because you know that men are so horny that they won't waste time reading. Others instead spend the 95% of the texts to intimidate men because they are shocked from the big quantity of freaks on this site (at least I'm a gentleman and you can see that by my verifications) so why a woman should pretend a romance from me but she cannot be bothered to write something to sound interesting to men rather than write down a codes of practice book?"

Ok heres a Gimps top tip, You are a Man, I am a man..Women have what we want and so they have the right to be selective, I'm lucky in that i have a partner but for the single blokes it is always going to be harder, You need to stand out and make an effort,Believe it or not the Birds wont come flocking because you think yourself better looking than the blokes they have shagged, Quite the opposite in fact.

Calling other Blokes ugly is not only disrespectful to the blokes concerned but more importantly its disrespectful to the Ladies that you are trying to impress

Gimp

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By *harpDressed ManMan over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

Surely there’s a middle ground between "2 word profile" and "some bills hut cut and pasted from elsewhere" that an intelligent man could exploit to his advantage?

Frankly, there is no excuse for OP to effectively choose one end of the scale just because he doesn't like either end of the scale.

Single men are ten a penny around here, so like it or not you'll need either some means of differentiating yourself or a lady-person to accompany you.

Man up and write a profile....

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By *orianGray OP Man over a year ago

london

Bloody hell Fabio....I was having a read to your incredibly long list of verifications.....you are my idol on Fabio

certainly an inspiration, such a shame you don't live in Leeds otherwise I would like to have a friend like you in town to go together to parties sometimes and have some advice. You are right maybe I'm a bit negative because I come from a tough moment and now being new in Leeds I feel bit lonely which it makes me insecure. Maybe reading your profile I will find some inspiration and if you like when I will have written it down you might check the grammar if you want. However thanks a lot not many men help each other in this kind of things, you really are a nice man

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By *orianGray OP Man over a year ago

london

Thanks to everyone I'm really surprised for the many answers I have received although as you have underlined my post was a bit annoying, this shows that this is a real community and not just a cold butcher window as I thought sometimes. My biggest mistake it was to don't think about using the forum in all this time I have been member on fab. Thanks again and I hope to can discuss other times with you, especially about the social side of Fab in the real world

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

OP:

Don't worry babe, Fab's not for me either, soooo many other/better ways to organise fun.

Em x

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By *orianGray OP Man over a year ago

london

for example?

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By *ingersnthumbsMan over a year ago

London

"for example?"

Pmsl well one guy on another discussion reckons Sainsbury's

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By *orianGray OP Man over a year ago

london

what did he mean?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"To Tempting Devil

But here on fab couples and ladies have a lot of choice when it comes to single guys... many won't bother to go and find stuff out if you don't have it on your profile. You don't need to write a novel but something is better than nothing.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"there is a lovely phrase.....

if you give a person enough rope... they will eventually hang themselves with it...

slagging off others for your own faults isn't the most attractive trait.... you are doing yourself no favours......"

I always liked "give me six lines written by an honest man and I will find in them something to hang him"

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By *ighland_RoseCouple over a year ago

Brigadoon

Maybe you're too good looking and intimidate the women you approach

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This thread doesn't give a good write up for blokes in Yorkshire, does it? Monsters, ugly with small willies! So I've read, anyway. Do the fair maidens of Yorkshire agree?

Seriously, OP, you have said some awful things in your post. Time to retract?

Yours, Angry (though not from Yorkshire)

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By *ighland_RoseCouple over a year ago

Brigadoon

The biggest cock I ever met was from Yorkshire.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"This thread doesn't give a good write up for blokes in Yorkshire, does it? Monsters, ugly with small willies! So I've read, anyway. Do the fair maidens of Yorkshire agree?

Seriously, OP, you have said some awful things in your post. Time to retract?

Yours, Angry (though not from Yorkshire)"

Totaly too us it makes him sound like he gods gift.

My self personaly stop using furums to try an slag all off so op feels bigger better. This maybe your problem. We think we found ours it lead to s meet tonight

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Others may have short profile but they are not the ones worried about meets. Your o.p. was well written and does say a lot about you so what's wrong with putting more into your profile.

The more you put in the more you will get out.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I wish I knew what was wrong too but heyho that's fab life and moving on with mine

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By *empting Devil.Woman over a year ago

Sheffield

"To Tempting Devil

All I have to go on is what I look for And what the Fab women of my acquaintance say they look for. As a forum and social regular I have a long list of Fab women of my acquaintance and I'm familiar with their views on this and other profile issues.

The "will fill in later" or "if you want to know just ask" variety of profiles may be accompanied but pictures of really hot men but there are plenty of really hot men on site who put the effort into writing a decent, informative profile which gives a clue to their personality.

And yes, personality counts. If you expect me to go into a locked and private space with you and get naked then I have to be comfortable with you - if you want less discerning women then try POF. Swinging is about sex but not only about sex. It is about satisfying, fantasy-fulfilling sex with a partner who will treat you and your kinks with respect even if it's a one-off meet at relatively short notice.

I'm not looking for long profiles, you don't need to write War and Peace (despite the fact that you are obviously capable of it going by your opening post) but a little bit explaining what you're looking for, what you have to offer and the type of meets you prefer would help. Many Fab women will read between the lines: there are aggressively written profiles and depressed ones and angry ones which all give away more than they realise - why would I put myself naked in a locked and private space with a man who is clearly angry with women?

Add in the fact that most of the replies since mine have echoed the surprise at your lack of profile text and I think you will now see that I'm not alone in my view.

Advice is given freely (albeit with a healthy dose of sarcasm and irony on here) and it is completely your choice as to whether you accept it or decline it.

And welcome to the forums, join in and enjoy, just keep a tin hat handy cos it can get feisty sometimes!

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By *empting Devil.Woman over a year ago

Sheffield

Forgot to reply to the bit about chatting if you like the look of someone's pics but they have no profile text: do you have any idea about the volume of messages women often receive on here? An inbox of over a hundred messages since you last logged on is not unheard of. And some people use fake pics.

So a profile with no text and great pics will be treated with caution even if they are showing a couple of veris ( they can be dodgy too). And if you also have messages from ten hot men with great pics and a well written profile then I know who I'm replying to.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This is why Italians pee me off, I live with one and he too is arrogant, thinks English people are ugly/stupid and blames his misfortune on them instead of accepting advice on how to improve things for himself.

Just remember these so called ugly men are getting meets, you're not! So ask yourself what you're doing wrong? Listen to the advice on here, some of it is good advice.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Maybe its the ." I'm so great looking and all the other men are ugly " is where you are going wrong ...just saying

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By *ee VianteWoman over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

As others have said, it doesn't matter how gorgeous a guy looks, if he has a crap profile and puts the onus on me to find out about him, I'm not going to bother.

I have other options that don't think they're so great they don't have to make any effort.

If someone won't make an effort to get a meet, what might they be like at a meet?

It's not all about looks, which is demonstrated by the "ugly monsters" getting meets when you aren't.

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By *rightonsteveMan over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Put as much effort into your profile as you have your thread....

'ugly' is so subjective, isn't it? But they are still getting meets, so whatever they are doing, the uglies are getting sex and you're not. Maybe they are beautiful inside....?

I find it hilarious when men post in the forum about their lack of success despite having a big cock etc blah de blah and it turns out that they have no substance to their profile, their communication and social skills are minimal and they whine and whinge about no meets like a little kid whose dropped his toy. I don't mean you in this last paragraph, Giovanni, just saying what I'm thinking out loud.

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By *extoysareusCouple over a year ago

kinky heaven

People like you

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Your pics alone are not enough as it's difficult for your personality to show. You need to update your profile. I'm being honest and not mean when I say it makes you look lazy x. For me (Fi) if you can't make me laugh I'm not interested no matter how gorgeous you think you are x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Put as much effort into your profile as you have your thread....

'ugly' is so subjective, isn't it? But they are still getting meets, so whatever they are doing, the uglies are getting sex and you're not. Maybe they are beautiful inside....?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You really shouldn't waste effort on trying to work out why those you consider to be less attractive that you are successful. Rather put that energy into improving your own profile. It doesn't have to say that much, but it could make that difference you are looking for. Good luck.

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By *teveanddebsCouple over a year ago

Norwich

Be honest, who doesn't look at an empty profile with good pics and assume they were nicked from somewhere?

Veri's don't mean an awful lot unless you actually know the people who left them.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I didn't read the whole of your post. At the point it got arrogant and nasty I gave up. And I suspect if I read the thread advice is falling on deaf ears?

Your post starts off articulate and interesting. You have good pictures, maybe put some effort in to your profile as it is non existant.

And reconsider your user name

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

at the 5th paragraph in the OP. Have you ever considered that what you may consider ugly with a low intelligence others may find attractive and a good laugh? Maybe that's why they met them. There is, I agree, a need for physical attraction but that said, there are many other factors that attract me to someone other than looks. Ugly on the inside is highly unattractive however good looking the person may be.

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By * Busty HotwifeCouple over a year ago

Bradford

"I didn't read the whole of your post. At the point it got arrogant and nasty I gave up. And I suspect if I read the thread advice is falling on deaf ears?

Your post starts off articulate and interesting. You have good pictures, maybe put some effort in to your profile as it is non existant.

And reconsider your user name"

Absolutely and look to yourself before calling others.

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By *ichaelangelaCouple over a year ago

notts

As my mother used to say.

Self praise is no recommendation

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We English have been fucked by an Italian for years hunny. (Pirlo) ones enough

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Have I woken up in some parallel universe where guys do all the selecting of women?

No.

Guys have to sell themselves as we are but meals on the menu. The women of fab have all the power and so can be as picky as they like and rightly so.

If the OP wants to be noticed on the menu he has to make himself look and sound delicious enough to try.

Summary- write a bloody profile that tells the girls all about yourself and stop bloody arguing about it otherwise you'll put all of them off

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Doesn't matter if you are male or female. Nobody reads what you write anyway

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By *rightonsteveMan over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I could murder a slice of pizza though.

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By *issHottieBottieWoman over a year ago

Kent

And your profile shows how intelligent you are does it?

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By *ENDAROOSCouple over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

"I personally wouldn't respond (regardless of how nice pictures may or may not be) because of the poor profile text - I'm one of those who reads the profile before opening the message.

Really - 15 minutes invested in your profile now will possibly make your life so much easier on this site. "

This

Arrogance and putting down other people is really not an attractive trait.

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By *ENDAROOSCouple over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

"Doesn't matter if you are male or female. Nobody reads what you write anyway "

Change that to SOME people don't read what you write. Then it would be more accurate..

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By *extoysareusCouple over a year ago

kinky heaven

"I could murder a slice of pizza though. "

He'll be saying how everyone makes crap pizza next, apart from him

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Doesn't matter if you are male or female. Nobody reads what you write anyway

Change that to SOME people don't read what you write. Then it would be more accurate..

I always read them, if helps me get an idea about that person.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You have no text in your profile!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Doesn't matter if you are male or female. Nobody reads what you write anyway

Change that to SOME people don't read what you write. Then it would be more accurate..

Some people.

Some people will mail anything. I get mails from stupid couples and males when I have no pics and only "..." (3 dots) as profile text. Sad but true.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"A looong rant but a four word profile

You do realise that many women will check out the profile first, often even before reading the message. A poor or non-existent profile does not impress."