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Single ladies and married men

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

I'm about to embark on this scenario, despite my better judgment. I'm interested to know what experiences other single gals have had with married men. Did it get messy, nasty, purely NSA, a full blown affair or did he even leave his wife for you? I have no preconceptions about what will happen, but I'm interested to hear other ladies experiences. Please don't judge

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By *oxy_minxWoman  over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

A big no no for me! I met someone, a few years ago who convinced me it was a marriage in name only! Yeah right, what a crock of shit! Trust me! Needless to say he was sent packing lol

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'm about to embark on this scenario, despite my better judgment. I'm interested to know what experiences other single gals have had with married men. Did it get messy, nasty, purely NSA, a full blown affair or did he even leave his wife for you? I have no preconceptions about what will happen, but I'm interested to hear other ladies experiences. Please don't judge "

Often they are politer, better manned and generally nicer however they will let you down more, delete profiles at a whim and can't stop the night.

Eyes open though so many who are very convincingly single are not they are just good at keeping their private life to themselves.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Big no for me too. Married guys always put their families first (quite rightly) so they're often unreliable.

I always think karma is a bitch too and I wouldn't like it done to me so I won't so it to another woman.

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By *eerobCouple  over a year ago

solihull

3 % of affairs develop into proper relationships. Not good odds really.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

be prepared to hurt

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By *yrdwomanWoman  over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

Pros and cons really. If you don't want a relationship they are great because they can't pester you, but if you do they are not so great because they can't meet regularly. Be prepared to stop wearing perfume, lipstick, and anything else that might transfer. No scratching, biting, or other marks. Usually daytime meets that are quite short.

But if that suits you, go for it.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Never judge, do what feels right but go in with open eyes as his family will always come first.

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By *uited staffs guyMan  over a year ago

staffordshire


"3 % of affairs develop into proper relationships. Not good odds really. "

Unless you don't want a relationship, in which case they're good odds!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'm about to embark on this scenario, despite my better judgment. I'm interested to know what experiences other single gals have had with married men. Did it get messy, nasty, purely NSA, a full blown affair or did he even leave his wife for you? I have no preconceptions about what will happen, but I'm interested to hear other ladies experiences. Please don't judge

Often they are politer, better manned and generally nicer however they will let you down more, delete profiles at a whim and can't stop the night.

Eyes open though so many who are very convincingly single are not they are just good at keeping their private life to themselves.

"

How on earth are they nicer? They are lying and deceiving the one person they claim to love more than anyone else. That's not how I define nice.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Big no for me too. Married guys always put their families first (quite rightly) so they're often unreliable.

I always think karma is a bitch too and I wouldn't like it done to me so I won't so it to another woman."

Hmm, that's exactly what I'm thinking. But the pull of the 'affair' is so great; so ridiculously exciting.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"A big no no for me! I met someone, a few years ago who convinced me it was a marriage in name only! Yeah right, what a crock of shit! Trust me! Needless to say he was sent packing lol "

Same scenario my friend had,total bullshit, even when found out he denied it.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 15/07/14 22:02:22]

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Been on the receiving end of a cheating ex so ultimately my morals just don't allow me to even go in to that situation knowingly.

The other thing is like what others have said...no reliability, if they can lie to their own wife and family then no doubt they would lie to me too, always the risk of it getting messy etc etc

Would just rather avoid that situation as best as possible but sadly as I've found out (after meeting) a lot of supposed single guys on here aren't very truthful about their marital status!

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Hmm. There's no positive outcome here is there? Which I knew already, I just wanted to see if there had been any 'success' stories. Looks like there hasn't been any, so I may save myself a whole heap of pain and knock this one on the head. The elicit thought of it all is all so exciting though...

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By *yrdwomanWoman  over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum


"The elicit thought of it all is all so exciting though..."

The thought it is much nicer than the reality. You have to think 'what am I getting out of this, compared to what he is getting out of it?' Always being the other woman, yet you'll find often that they expect you to be completely faithful to them.

I prefer to stick to having sex with men who (say they) are single.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Hmm. There's no positive outcome here is there? Which I knew already, I just wanted to see if there had been any 'success' stories. Looks like there hasn't been any, so I may save myself a whole heap of pain and knock this one on the head. The elicit thought of it all is all so exciting though..."

It depends on what you're hoping to achieve by embarking on this journey ~

if you're looking for no commitment & meeting up ad hoc generally on his terms then so be it.

if you are after a relationship then it probably ain't gonna happen.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Well if you want a relationship you're going to be disappointed. If you're truly after nsa I've met some great guys who I see regularly. It is sometimes tricky to arrange though. And as to moral issue, no one's forcing them, so it's their CHOICE not my fault.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Hmm. There's no positive outcome here is there? Which I knew already, I just wanted to see if there had been any 'success' stories. Looks like there hasn't been any, so I may save myself a whole heap of pain and knock this one on the head. The elicit thought of it all is all so exciting though...

It depends on what you're hoping to achieve by embarking on this journey ~

if you're looking for no commitment & meeting up ad hoc generally on his terms then so be it.

if you are after a relationship then it probably ain't gonna happen."

I'm not sure. Honestly the primal being has just kicked in I just want to drag him back to my cave and leave it at that. But I know it's not that simple...

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I had a couple of years of fantastic sex with a married man. Of all my regular men he was the friendliest and more of a friend. I don't get attached to anyone so it's easier for me to let go

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

As a single man I think it's wrong I have been in relationships and always been fiercely loyal. If a married guy feels the need to cheat then there is something wrong and I would stay away from this scenario

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By *attykitWoman  over a year ago

leeds


"The elicit thought of it all is all so exciting though...

The thought it is much nicer than the reality. You have to think 'what am I getting out of this, compared to what he is getting out of it?' Always being the other woman, yet you'll find often that they expect you to be completely faithful to them.

I prefer to stick to having sex with men who (say they) are single. "

Interesting - Yes. What are guys thoughts on you setting other men? ??

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By *thwalescplCouple  over a year ago

brecon


"Hmm. There's no positive outcome here is there? Which I knew already, I just wanted to see if there had been any 'success' stories. Looks like there hasn't been any, so I may save myself a whole heap of pain and knock this one on the head. The elicit thought of it all is all so exciting though...

It depends on what you're hoping to achieve by embarking on this journey ~

if you're looking for no commitment & meeting up ad hoc generally on his terms then so be it.

if you are after a relationship then it probably ain't gonna happen.

I'm not sure. Honestly the primal being has just kicked in I just want to drag him back to my cave and leave it at that. But I know it's not that simple..."

Its actually quite simple.

Are you really asking if its worth fucking up some poor womans life just so you can get your jollies?

Are you really asking if you should trust a guy who will lie to someone he once claimed to love, and who will drop you like a hot shit and totally deny your existence when things go sideways?

"There's no positive outcome here is there? Which I knew already, I just wanted to see if there had been any 'success' stories"...

You already know the answer, yet you still want someone to remove your guilt by telling you "Go for it, it'll be ok".

It won't be ok, at best, he's cheating on his wife, and you have some fun... at worst, it will trash his relationship, and she's going to get hurt.... I just hope there's no kids!

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By *ing and RideCouple  over a year ago

stockport

If you want a horny shag go for it, if you want to be wined and dined, meet at weekends bank holidays and invite him to your weekend BBQ....forget it you ain't gonna get it. Nor are you going to get weekends away. You will get his time as and when he can fit you in. Be prepared to be let down with half hour notice if your lucky. But he will prob tell you his wife doesn't like sex anymore, doesn't talk to him or understand him and he would spend more time with you if he could. Be prepared to be very lonely, but if you only want a fuck then go girl. Good luck.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Do you want to be named in his divorce? He'll continually let you down because of family commitment. Can you cope with that?

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Hmm. There's no positive outcome here is there? Which I knew already, I just wanted to see if there had been any 'success' stories. Looks like there hasn't been any, so I may save myself a whole heap of pain and knock this one on the head. The elicit thought of it all is all so exciting though...

It depends on what you're hoping to achieve by embarking on this journey ~

if you're looking for no commitment & meeting up ad hoc generally on his terms then so be it.

if you are after a relationship then it probably ain't gonna happen.

I'm not sure. Honestly the primal being has just kicked in I just want to drag him back to my cave and leave it at that. But I know it's not that simple...

Its actually quite simple.

Are you really asking if its worth fucking up some poor womans life just so you can get your jollies?

Are you really asking if you should trust a guy who will lie to someone he once claimed to love, and who will drop you like a hot shit and totally deny your existence when things go sideways?

"There's no positive outcome here is there? Which I knew already, I just wanted to see if there had been any 'success' stories"...

You already know the answer, yet you still want someone to remove your guilt by telling you "Go for it, it'll be ok".

It won't be ok, at best, he's cheating on his wife, and you have some fun... at worst, it will trash his relationship, and she's going to get hurt.... I just hope there's no kids! "

And yet you freely swap partners; tell me, what is the difference? I don't see how you can be so judgmental when you're swapping partners and condoning threesomes; it's no different!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

If its nsa fun you are after, go for it. If its a relationship, maybe try a different site?

As there is another thread going about a married fem having fun, its interesting to see all the negative comments on this one!

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

There are literally 1000's playing away from home on here, so I don't understand the harsh judgmental comments. FFS you play with with other people's spouses every weekend at clubs specifically geared up for swapping, so I think it's a bit harsh to judge me on an affair that hasn't even taken place yet!

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"If its nsa fun you are after, go for it. If its a relationship, maybe try a different site?

As there is another thread going about a married fem having fun, its interesting to see all the negative comments on this one!"

NSA all the way.

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By *issLissCouple  over a year ago

south east

You may want to sexy affair but what about the wife on the end of the phone or showing up at your door?

We all know sex can lead to becoming emotionally involved, then what? It started off as sex but now you are attached, involved in something that will lead to someone being in pain.

I've cheated, been cheated on, been the mistress so I'm not judging you but I can say no matter what end you are it hurts. And now I wouldn't be involved in any of it.

Surely there's enough single guys out there just to have dirty sex with?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Well if you want a relationship you're going to be disappointed. If you're truly after nsa I've met some great guys who I see regularly. It is sometimes tricky to arrange though. And as to moral issue, no one's forcing them, so it's their CHOICE not my fault. "

Unfortunately that's not always the case. I came across a guy who was supposedly single but was surprisingly clingy for someone who wanted NSA fun. Eventually felt like a therapist and now that marriage is over

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By *SweetVioletxWoman  over a year ago

Liverpool

The thought makes my stomach feel sick, just imagining being the partner who is being deceived. I could not knowingly inflict that pain on anyone.

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By *REEN GRASSMan  over a year ago

worcester

All I can say is If you want to try it just message me LOL

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By *thwalescplCouple  over a year ago

brecon


"Hmm. There's no positive outcome here is there? Which I knew already, I just wanted to see if there had been any 'success' stories. Looks like there hasn't been any, so I may save myself a whole heap of pain and knock this one on the head. The elicit thought of it all is all so exciting though...

It depends on what you're hoping to achieve by embarking on this journey ~

if you're looking for no commitment & meeting up ad hoc generally on his terms then so be it.

if you are after a relationship then it probably ain't gonna happen.

I'm not sure. Honestly the primal being has just kicked in I just want to drag him back to my cave and leave it at that. But I know it's not that simple...

Its actually quite simple.

Are you really asking if its worth fucking up some poor womans life just so you can get your jollies?

Are you really asking if you should trust a guy who will lie to someone he once claimed to love, and who will drop you like a hot shit and totally deny your existence when things go sideways?

"There's no positive outcome here is there? Which I knew already, I just wanted to see if there had been any 'success' stories"...

You already know the answer, yet you still want someone to remove your guilt by telling you "Go for it, it'll be ok".

It won't be ok, at best, he's cheating on his wife, and you have some fun... at worst, it will trash his relationship, and she's going to get hurt.... I just hope there's no kids!

And yet you freely swap partners; tell me, what is the difference? I don't see how you can be so judgmental when you're swapping partners and condoning threesomes; it's no different! "

Really?

Everything I do, I do with the full knowledge and consent of Jayne, and vice-versa, no secrets, no lies, nothing hidden, no-one gets hurt, it's sexy, horny, fun, no-one is looking over their shoulder, worrying about getting caught out.

I'm sure you can see the difference, you just don't want to admit you are wrong.

Take responsibility for your own decisions and actions, and any possible ramifications, and stop looking for justification, the bottom line here is that it's morally wrong to actively engage in this sort of relationship, be it transient or something more full-on.

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By *etentMan  over a year ago

maidstone


"There are literally 1000's playing away from home on here, so I don't understand the harsh judgmental comments. FFS you play with with other people's spouses every weekend at clubs specifically geared up for swapping, so I think it's a bit harsh to judge me on an affair that hasn't even taken place yet!

"

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I'd liken this to unwrapping some irresistibly sexily wrapped present only to find a stinky great shit inside it. You know it's gonna get shit...but you still want to unwrap it. But that moment of unwrapping is likely to only last mere moments and when it's gone, which it will in a flash, you're gonna be left trying to get shit off your hands for ages.

I'd suggest doing what most blokes do....leave it in the fantasy department. By all means wank over it...maybe even role play it out with someone off here...but don't do it for real. Enjoy the unwrapping without the shit

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Yes a married man can have an affair with a single woman and never lie to her. Six years and counting.

And I'll bet some of the people moralizing on here have had sex with a married man at some point without even knowing. Clubs, gangbangs and the like.

You need to know each other well before anything happens though. Treating it like an ordinary meet with a stranger is dangerous

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'm about to embark on this scenario, despite my better judgment. I'm interested to know what experiences other single gals have had with married men. Did it get messy, nasty, purely NSA, a full blown affair or did he even leave his wife for you? I have no preconceptions about what will happen, but I'm interested to hear other ladies experiences. Please don't judge "

What are you wanting? NSA it a relationship. If it's the first, then that's up to you, if you can live with it, go for it. If it's the later and you think there could actually be romance, then forget it. He's not going to leave a wife and kids for someone of a site. Is he really?! All the best, whichever you choose.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Seems to me that the op asked for real experiences and got doomsday theories in reply.

I winder if Fab had an option on ladies profiles looking for relationship/or NSA whether this would help matters.

I also wonder about the constant reference to married men. Many men live with partners and can technically describe themselves as single.

Swinging is not in my opinion an area to insist on

marital fidelity.If you are going to have sex with

multiple partners the chances are that many will be

in relationships whether you like it or not.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'm about to embark on this scenario, despite my better judgment. I'm interested to know what experiences other single gals have had with married men. Did it get messy, nasty, purely NSA, a full blown affair or did he even leave his wife for you? I have no preconceptions about what will happen, but I'm interested to hear other ladies experiences. Please don't judge "

I've met one for sex. sales rep. Knew i wouldn't meet him again. I don't want to meet married men. Awaiting backlash

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By *ogillMan  over a year ago

high peak

never posted in here, but this has got to me...

If you are looking for a relationship and all that, well good luck!

Why is he playing away... could be many reasons, maybe his wife is playing some power game and he is sick of that and needs someone to talk to..

maybe he just wants to swing...

who knows people are too complex to judge any situation, the reasons are rarely in the open.

My suggestion, go in open minded, have no expectations, if there is more thats good, otherwise nothing lost.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

I also wonder about the constant reference to married men. Many men live with partners and can technically describe themselves as single."

Single means no relationship type attachments in my book, ie no wife/partner/girl-friend and opp gender equivalents.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I've had many encounters with married and attached men.

I like them better because they don't form an attachment to you and bombard you all the time with messages and are quite happy to leave you alone after.

I also feel much naughtier knowing that at that moment they've chosen to see me rather than be with their wife/girlfriend.

Only once I have I had a repercussion from it and I just denied all knowledge of the person

At the end of the day it's not me that's cheating so why should I feel guilty.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I've had many encounters with married and attached men.

I like them better because they don't form an attachment to you and bombard you all the time with messages and are quite happy to leave you alone after.

I also feel much naughtier knowing that at that moment they've chosen to see me rather than be with their wife/girlfriend.

Only once I have I had a repercussion from it and I just denied all knowledge of the person

At the end of the day it's not me that's cheating so why should I feel guilty. "

Very true. It's the man that is choosing to cheat, not me. Why shouldn't I get what I want? And why shouldn't they. There are so many stale relationships out there, why not have some fun and some relief? I'm not responsible for their marriage / shit relationship / actions / vows. If I can keep it NSA, then I see no harm to be honest.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I've had many encounters with married and attached men.

I like them better because they don't form an attachment to you and bombard you all the time with messages and are quite happy to leave you alone after.

I also feel much naughtier

knowing that at that moment they've chosen to see me rather than be with their wife/girlfriend.

Only once I have I had a repercussion from it and I just denied all knowledge of the person

At the end of the day it's not me that's cheating so why should I feel guilty. "

Wow just looked at your pics dan babe lucky married guys that's all I can say

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"I've had many encounters with married and attached men.

I like them better because they don't form an attachment to you and bombard you all the time with messages and are quite happy to leave you alone after.

I also feel much naughtier knowing that at that moment they've chosen to see me rather than be with their wife/girlfriend.

Only once I have I had a repercussion from it and I just denied all knowledge of the person

At the end of the day it's not me that's cheating so why should I feel guilty.

Very true. It's the man that is choosing to cheat, not me. Why shouldn't I get what I want? And why shouldn't they. There are so many stale relationships out there, why not have some fun and some relief? I'm not responsible for their marriage / shit relationship / actions / vows. If I can keep it NSA, then I see no harm to be honest.

"

Then go through with it with a clear conscience and a light heart if you can honestly see no harm but I don't think you would have started this thread is you really believed that.

I truly don't care what you do but as with the married men who ask similar questions it's the justification and assumptions made that grow wearisome. Just do it!

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By *qua vitaeWoman  over a year ago

Shropshire/South Yorkshire

All I would say is be very very careful and take the same precautions as for NSA fun. Don't let him know where you live. Unless he's very good at keeping secrets and hiding any evidence (texts, receipts, bank records, etc), his partner/wife could eventually find out, and you don't want her to eventually turn up on your doorstep assaulting you...

Still practice safe sex. He could be seeing other people too.

Expect to be disappointed when arrangements are cancelled, you don't hear from him for a while, or if the affair only lasts for a short time.

It can be fun and exciting, sometimes can develop into lasting friendships, but keep your feet grounded.

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By *SweetVioletxWoman  over a year ago

Liverpool

Yep. Go enjoy yourself as long as you are happy. Don't give a care for the repercussions that might be playing out for another man, woman or child who is out there.

It's completely not your responsibility as long as you and he are getting what you want.

FFS I'm as liberal as they come but with the constant standard of do no harm. Get involved knowingly with a person in a relationship and you are as guilty as they are of the act of cheating and for all the cruel and messy fall out.

Yep I'm as judgemental as hell on this subject and I have every right. I've seen, felt and heard that fallout.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"As a single man I think it's wrong I have been in relationships and always been fiercely loyal. If a married guy feels the need to cheat then there is something wrong and I would stay away from this scenario "

As a married lady I would have to say that I think you're wrong. My hubby has had 2 affairs that I know of and several one night stands. I am well educated and not abused but while I don't like what he's done I know that he loves me. He will never leave me simply because I tick all of his boxes. Some men are able to make a separation between naughty sex and real love. I do feel for the ladies that thought he was going to choose them over me but I also think they went into it with their eyes open.

And really before I get ripped to bits for this sometimes the thrill of the chase takes over everything else. ..have fun and try to neither hurt or be hurt

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Very interesting to see the difference of reaction on this thread compared to one a couple of days ago by a bloke wanting to gauge whether he should have a fling with a friend's wife.

On here a lot of people seem to be saying go for it...have your fun while you can

On there it was very much don't do it...be a good guy...you'll feel better about yourself for having done the right thing.

Is it the friend thing that makes the difference? Or is it the gender? The bloke did say the friend was not really a very good friend...so I can only suspect it must be a gender thing...is his sexism?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

At the end of the day it's not me that's cheating so why should I feel guilty. "

That's what it comes down to. If you can simplify it down; you want sex and he's the cheating toerag! He's the one who should be guilty. If you can separate the act from his situation then fine.

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By *abioMan  over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead


"

And yet you freely swap partners; tell me, what is the difference? I don't see how you can be so judgmental when you're swapping partners and condoning threesomes; it's no different! "

ooooooh..... me me me.... I know the answer to this one....

its called "consent"....... the fact that the other person isn't lying and is involved.....

okay... one for the OP... lets play devils advocate....

put yourself in the role of the "other woman"..... how would you feel if you had what you are considering doing done to you and you had no idea it was going on so that they had blantanly lied?

genuinely interested........

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By *iewMan  over a year ago
Forum Mod

Angus & Findhorn

[Removed by poster at 16/07/14 11:17:23]

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By *iewMan  over a year ago
Forum Mod

Angus & Findhorn

I do wish the marrieds and playing away, and the people who will play with them would just get on with it....

the justifications, the bleatings how unfair it is, stop being judgemental, and the grandstanding of their affairs is sickening at times.

just shag him or her and blank the pain of the innocent out of your mind.

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By *abioMan  over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead


"I've had many encounters with married and attached men.

I like them better because they don't form an attachment to you and bombard you all the time with messages and are quite happy to leave you alone after.

I also feel much naughtier knowing that at that moment they've chosen to see me rather than be with their wife/girlfriend.

Only once I have I had a repercussion from it and I just denied all knowledge of the person

At the end of the day it's not me that's cheating so why should I feel guilty. "

so the weasels way out.... when in doubt lie further and deny all knowledge..

compound all the deceit... blame him... all his fault the nasty pasty!!!

Oh but i just "happened" to land on his cock.... its was all some frightful error!!!

if you go into something knowing they are married and playing away then I believe you are as complicit in what happens next as they person doing it is....

if you are big enough to get involved knowingly, then you should be big enough to deal with the consequences, and big enough to hold up your hands if you get caught....

sympathy for getting caught.... different question... none from me

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"There are literally 1000's playing away from home on here, so I don't understand the harsh judgmental comments. FFS you play with with other people's spouses every weekend at clubs specifically geared up for swapping, so I think it's a bit harsh to judge me on an affair that hasn't even taken place yet!"

Yes, difference being... the spouses are there and joining in. A couple entering into something TOGETHER is a completely different scenario to one doing behind the others back.

Having had it done to me in the past I am judging both of you. There are plenty of men on this site who are not married. Like someone else said, if you knowingly enter into something with a married man, it makes you just as bad as him.

Would you do it with a friends husband? Or is it only okay to potentially devastate someone you don't know?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

I also feel much naughtier knowing that at that moment they've chosen to see me rather than be with their wife/girlfriend.

"

Wow

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"The elicit thought of it all is all so exciting though...

The thought it is much nicer than the reality. You have to think 'what am I getting out of this, compared to what he is getting out of it?' Always being the other woman, yet you'll find often that they expect you to be completely faithful to them.

I prefer to stick to having sex with men who (say they) are single. "

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

If your getting what you want out of it why not!!!! Go for it!!!! As long as you know exactly where you stand and are not fooled into the false pretence of a relationship at the end of it then your all good!!!!

But if you are the type to get attached I would steer well well well clear!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"There are literally 1000's playing away from home on here, so I don't understand the harsh judgmental comments. FFS you play with with other people's spouses every weekend at clubs specifically geared up for swapping, so I think it's a bit harsh to judge me on an affair that hasn't even taken place yet!

Yes, difference being... the spouses are there and joining in. A couple entering into something TOGETHER is a completely different scenario to one doing behind the others back.

Having had it done to me in the past I am judging both of you. There are plenty of men on this site who are not married. Like someone else said, if you knowingly enter into something with a married man, it makes you just as bad as him.

Would you do it with a friends husband? Or is it only okay to potentially devastate someone you don't know?

"

Absolutely harsh as!!!! Men and women are on here all doing it just the ones that are truthful with it are worth it, half the partners know it's happening too!!!! It's the ones that lie about it they are the wrongens!!!!!

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By *iewMan  over a year ago
Forum Mod

Angus & Findhorn


" half the partners know it's happening too!!!! It's the ones that lie about it they are the wrongens!!!!!"

cool, that's okay then.... fill your boots everyone

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

It would just be great to know if someone is in a relationship then you have a choice to meet them, so many lie about it and you end up feeling shit for baby reasons I'd say its perfect if both are married and looking for extras

So If you want a unreliable get the clothes back on as soon as the itch has been scratched type, have possible women phoning you up, feel shit about getting used like that then go ahead might be good sex on the occasional meet, might meet someone that might shout out what the fuck am I doing here as he has a major guilty moment or not but a face that says that, might even get the phone ringing non stop and he might start getting into a panic! might get him worried about parking his car near as people he knows lives close by your place.

At the end of the day it's a weasel a cheating decietfull bugger yes it's a big judgement but to me it's all true

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I've had many encounters with married and attached men.

I like them better because they don't form an attachment to you and bombard you all the time with messages and are quite happy to leave you alone after.

I also feel much naughtier knowing that at that moment they've chosen to see me rather than be with their wife/girlfriend.

Only once I have I had a repercussion from it and I just denied all knowledge of the person

At the end of the day it's not me that's cheating so why should I feel guilty.

so the weasels way out.... when in doubt lie further and deny all knowledge..

compound all the deceit... blame him... all his fault the nasty pasty!!!

Oh but i just "happened" to land on his cock.... its was all some frightful error!!!

if you go into something knowing they are married and playing away then I believe you are as complicit in what happens next as they person doing it is....

if you are big enough to get involved knowingly, then you should be big enough to deal with the consequences, and big enough to hold up your hands if you get caught....

sympathy for getting caught.... different question... none from me"

I somehow doubt they would want your sympathy

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I do wish the marrieds and playing away, and the people who will play with them would just get on with it....

the justifications, the bleatings how unfair it is, stop being judgemental, and the grandstanding of their affairs is sickening at times.

just shag him or her and blank the pain of the innocent out of your mind.

"

Thats assuming there is an innocent as many are also doing the same themselves.

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By *iewMan  over a year ago
Forum Mod

Angus & Findhorn


"I do wish the marrieds and playing away, and the people who will play with them would just get on with it....

the justifications, the bleatings how unfair it is, stop being judgemental, and the grandstanding of their affairs is sickening at times.

just shag him or her and blank the pain of the innocent out of your mind.

Thats assuming there is an innocent as many are also doing the same themselves."

then my words don't apply.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I do wish the marrieds and playing away, and the people who will play with them would just get on with it....

the justifications, the bleatings how unfair it is, stop being judgemental, and the grandstanding of their affairs is sickening at times.

just shag him or her and blank the pain of the innocent out of your mind.

Thats assuming there is an innocent as many are also doing the same themselves.

then my words don't apply."

Its just that there are lots on here playing away not realising their partners are doing the same too.

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"I do wish the marrieds and playing away, and the people who will play with them would just get on with it....

the justifications, the bleatings how unfair it is, stop being judgemental, and the grandstanding of their affairs is sickening at times.

just shag him or her and blank the pain of the innocent out of your mind.

Thats assuming there is an innocent as many are also doing the same themselves.

then my words don't apply.

Its just that there are lots on here playing away not realising their partners are doing the same too."

There are people on here doing all sorts of things and none of us can possibly know if everyone we meet is being honest but I for one am tired of the justification the asking not to be judged while making huge judgements and the general "I'm alright Jack, pull the ladder up mentality". Do what the bloomin' heck you want to do, you will anyway just don't keep bloody on about it and ask for other people to back up your decision.

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

Oh KPLP that's a global you, not you specifically

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

This topic of conversation, and peoples thoughts on this intrigues me!!

I am married, I make no effort to hide the fact. My wife is aware, and does allow me to seek pleasure away from our home, but this is only due to health issues, and also the fact that we did swing as a couple, which helps me, as she is aware of the lifestyle.

What is important to us, is honesty, and if all parties are aware, then for us that is fine.

Playing behind your partners back is a little different, and maybe they need to be honest with themselves, but why should we judge?

We are here for fun and friends, both in the bedroom, and out, but in my opinion, it is all about being honest from the start, I think then people can make their own judgement, without feeling awkward.

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"This topic of conversation, and peoples thoughts on this intrigues me!!

I am married, I make no effort to hide the fact. My wife is aware, and does allow me to seek pleasure away from our home, but this is only due to health issues, and also the fact that we did swing as a couple, which helps me, as she is aware of the lifestyle.

What is important to us, is honesty, and if all parties are aware, then for us that is fine.

Playing behind your partners back is a little different, and maybe they need to be honest with themselves, but why should we judge?

We are here for fun and friends, both in the bedroom, and out, but in my opinion, it is all about being honest from the start, I think then people can make their own judgement, without feeling awkward."

genuine question, why do you say "why should we judge?" then say "people can make their own judgement" is judgement only allowable under certain circumstances, i.e. when the person being judged perceives it to be ok?

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By *iscreetguy62Man  over a year ago

stoke on trent

Honestly i would advise against it i have

Been on the end of it the pain is worse than a bereavement

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By *radleyandRavenCouple  over a year ago

Herts

There is nothing I can really say on this that hasn't already been said and at the end of the day, you're going to do what you want anyway.

But no, I have, of course, never seen this end well in ANY circumstances.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I've had many encounters with married and attached men.

I like them better because they don't form an attachment to you and bombard you all the time with messages and are quite happy to leave you alone after.

I also feel much naughtier knowing that at that moment they've chosen to see me rather than be with their wife/girlfriend.

Only once I have I had a repercussion from it and I just denied all knowledge of the person

At the end of the day it's not me that's cheating so why should I feel guilty.

so the weasels way out.... when in doubt lie further and deny all knowledge..

compound all the deceit... blame him... all his fault the nasty pasty!!!

Oh but i just "happened" to land on his cock.... its was all some frightful error!!!

if you go into something knowing they are married and playing away then I believe you are as complicit in what happens next as they person doing it is....

if you are big enough to get involved knowingly, then you should be big enough to deal with the consequences, and big enough to hold up your hands if you get caught....

sympathy for getting caught.... different question... none from me"

Another way you could look at it is that I was discreet about what he does and where he finds his fun right up until the end. I'm not in it to deal with angry wives. If it happens. I'll deny.

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By *icketysplitsWoman  over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Whatever you do, do it knowingly. Don't set out the harm anyone else* and don't expect much.

*harming others: the argument usually goes that if you enter an affair/sleep with a married man you are therefore harming the wife. My response to that is that he is responsible for his relationship with his wife (just as she is) and there is something else going on in their relationship that bears no connection to you.

If you set out to break their relationship and rub her face in it then you really need to look at your motivations and your own mental health.

To my mind having a lustful relationship with a married person that doesn't end up with sex but continues with the flirting etc. is the same as the relationship also having sex involved. For the "wronged" and "innocent" party that sharing of time, fun and thoughts is just as difficult to bear.

If any of you can honestly say you have NEVER had sex with someone in a relationship then good for you. I know that I don't ask marital status in a club situation and I know I have asked the are you attached question and been lied to (finding out later). My judgements are about what is right for me and aiming not to harm others.

In the past I have been the other woman and I have also been cheated on. Both are painful.

Any of the attached men I have chatted to on Fab can attest that they get a drilling from me. It's not my place to tell them that what they are attempting to do or are doing is right or wrong but I will ask questions to make them think about it.

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By *thwalescplCouple  over a year ago

brecon


"I've had many encounters with married and attached men.

I like them better because they don't form an attachment to you and bombard you all the time with messages and are quite happy to leave you alone after.

I also feel much naughtier knowing that at that moment they've chosen to see me rather than be with their wife/girlfriend.

Only once I have I had a repercussion from it and I just denied all knowledge of the person

At the end of the day it's not me that's cheating so why should I feel guilty.

so the weasels way out.... when in doubt lie further and deny all knowledge..

compound all the deceit... blame him... all his fault the nasty pasty!!!

Oh but i just "happened" to land on his cock.... its was all some frightful error!!!

if you go into something knowing they are married and playing away then I believe you are as complicit in what happens next as they person doing it is....

if you are big enough to get involved knowingly, then you should be big enough to deal with the consequences, and big enough to hold up your hands if you get caught....

sympathy for getting caught.... different question... none from me

Another way you could look at it is that I was discreet about what he does and where he finds his fun right up until the end. I'm not in ,it to deal with angry wives. If it happens. I'll rdeny. "

"Denial, the last refuge of the scoundrel."

Not sure who said it, but I think its apt.

If you are adult enough to play with someone else's partner just for shits and giggles, at least have the decency to face the consequences if it all goes tits up, nothing worse than someone who tries to wriggle out of it by heaping lies on lies.

Mind you, I suppose I'm asking too much by asking for decency in these cases!

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By *icketysplitsWoman  over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"Very interesting to see the difference of reaction on this thread compared to one a couple of days ago by a bloke wanting to gauge whether he should have a fling with a friend's wife.

On here a lot of people seem to be saying go for it...have your fun while you can

On there it was very much don't do it...be a good guy...you'll feel better about yourself for having done the right thing.

Is it the friend thing that makes the difference? Or is it the gender? The bloke did say the friend was not really a very good friend...so I can only suspect it must be a gender thing...is his sexism? "

I didn't see that thread but my replies on this issue are consistent and are about the relationship and not the gender.

In the case of a friend though... I would call into question the definition of friend.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I think this question shows how two faced people can be. If a Man or Woman is Married why are they on the Swinging scene? It's not an excuse to say they are in a no sex marriage because that may be because the wife or husband is treated so badly they don'tfeel physically attracted to them.

All I would say is this. If you think it's better to swing with a married cheat because you won't get pestered or it won't develope into anything else, be careful because perhaps he or she is physically violent and as for pestering that's a definite because they will want you to meet at short notice to fit in with taking the kids out.

How would you feel if it was your mate getting cheated on?

Whatever you decide good luck.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I've had many encounters with married and attached men.

I like them better because they don't form an attachment to you and bombard you all the time with messages and are quite happy to leave you alone after.

I also feel much naughtier knowing that at that moment they've chosen to see me rather than be with their wife/girlfriend.

Only once I have I had a repercussion from it and I just denied all knowledge of the person

At the end of the day it's not me that's cheating so why should I feel guilty.

so the weasels way out.... when in doubt lie further and deny all knowledge..

compound all the deceit... blame him... all his fault the nasty pasty!!!

Oh but i just "happened" to land on his cock.... its was all some frightful error!!!

if you go into something knowing they are married and playing away then I believe you are as complicit in what happens next as they person doing it is....

if you are big enough to get involved knowingly, then you should be big enough to deal with the consequences, and big enough to hold up your hands if you get caught....

sympathy for getting caught.... different question... none from me

Another way you could look at it is that I was discreet about what he does and where he finds his fun right up until the end. I'm not in ,it to deal with angry wives. If it happens. I'll rdeny.

"Denial, the last refuge of the scoundrel."

Not sure who said it, but I think its apt.

If you are adult enough to play with someone else's partner just for shits and giggles, at least have the decency to face the consequences if it all goes tits up, nothing worse than someone who tries to wriggle out of it by heaping lies on lies.

Mind you, I suppose I'm asking too much by asking for decency in these cases! "

Cheating is cheating. The way I see it, Women that have Sex with a man they know is married are less clever than a Prostitute. She gets paid by married men for a Fuck. Will you?

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By *icketysplitsWoman  over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

[Removed by poster at 16/07/14 13:05:56]

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

All I can say is "words fail me"!

No wonder so many marriages end in divorce when nobody these days seem to understand the sanctity of their vows...just shocking!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"All I can say is "words fail me"!

No wonder so many marriages end in divorce when nobody these days seem to understand the sanctity of their vows...just shocking! "

What an odd thing to say! The sanctity of their vows would INCLUDE swinging then?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

genuine question, why do you say "why should we judge?" then say "people can make their own judgement" is judgement only allowable under certain circumstances, i.e. when the person being judged perceives it to be ok?

I'm sorry for not being more clearer!!

My point was that many people on here will automatically assume that if someone is married, they are playing behind their partners back, but there may be a perfect honest reason, such as someone like myself. I know of several people, both men and ladies on here, that do play, but not with their partners. I was trying to say that we shouldn't judge, by just assuming!!

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By *empting Devil.Woman  over a year ago

Sheffield

As long as you're prepared for it all to be by his rules and his timing, for him to call and text you when he likes but you can't call or text him, no perfume and probably no showers no matter how stinky he is cos he can't smell of your shower gel, no popping out for a post nookie beer or a bit of all fresco fun then go ahead.

Oh and don't forget the chance of having a screaming/angry/distraught woman on the end of the phone or even on your doorstep or at your workplace.

If you are confident that he can handle it and make sure that none of that happens and that it really is just nsa fun then go ahead - but accept that to be so successful at it he has got to be a good liar.

I have found that there are so many single men that even if I've been tempted I stick to the singles.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"All I can say is "words fail me"!

No wonder so many marriages end in divorce when nobody these days seem to understand the sanctity of their vows...just shocking!

What an odd thing to say! The sanctity of their vows would INCLUDE swinging then? "

I think that's covered in the "for better or for worse" bit....swinging being the "better"

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"All I can say is "words fail me"!

No wonder so many marriages end in divorce when nobody these days seem to understand the sanctity of their vows...just shocking!

What an odd thing to say! The sanctity of their vows would INCLUDE swinging then? "

A swinging couple decide as a unit that this is something they wish to embark on within their marriage and they both feel comfortable about doing it.

What we are talking about here is a man having an affair with potentially several women without his wife knowing, therefore breaking the vows he made....the two things are completely different

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

When I see post like this it realy gets my goat! Cheating is cheating in any place if you choose to play with that person then feel free for whatever reason. However the genuine married swinger gets pulled into the argument and is judged. I hope that the people who have read this post understand the difference between married and cheating and married and swinging.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

And yet you freely swap partners; tell me, what is the difference? I don't see how you can be so judgmental when you're swapping partners and condoning threesomes; it's no different!

ooooooh..... me me me.... I know the answer to this one....

its called "consent"....... the fact that the other person isn't lying and is involved.....

okay... one for the OP... lets play devils advocate....

put yourself in the role of the "other woman"..... how would you feel if you had what you are considering doing done to you and you had no idea it was going on so that they had blantanly lied?

genuinely interested........"

Words of wisdom

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"When I see post like this it realy gets my goat! Cheating is cheating in any place if you choose to play with that person then feel free for whatever reason. However the genuine married swinger gets pulled into the argument and is judged. I hope that the people who have read this post understand the difference between married and cheating and married and swinging. "

Yes, but if they admitted to grasping the (not so difficult) concept that cheating and swinging are completely different things, they couldn't use it as an excuse all the time.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 16/07/14 14:26:33]

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I've had many encounters with married and attached men.

I like them better because they don't form an attachment to you and bombard you all the time with messages and are quite happy to leave you alone after.

I also feel much naughtier knowing that at that moment they've chosen to see me rather than be with their wife/girlfriend.

Only once I have I had a repercussion from it and I just denied all knowledge of the person

At the end of the day it's not me that's cheating so why should I feel guilty. "

This makes me really sad, is your confidence that low that you get kicks from the 'oooooo he likes me more than the woman he pledged is fidelity too'?? Come on girl!! Dont you think your better than that??

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I've had many encounters with married and attached men.

I like them better because they don't form an attachment to you and bombard you all the time with messages and are quite happy to leave you alone after.

I also feel much naughtier knowing that at that moment they've chosen to see me rather than be with their wife/girlfriend.

Only once I have I had a repercussion from it and I just denied all knowledge of the person

At the end of the day it's not me that's cheating so why should I feel guilty.

Very true. It's the man that is choosing to cheat, not me. Why shouldn't I get what I want? And why shouldn't they. There are so many stale relationships out there, why not have some fun and some relief? I'm not responsible for their marriage / shit relationship / actions / vows. If I can keep it NSA, then I see no harm to be honest.

"

You only know what he's told you... that might not be the truth.

She may well be sitting at home trusting her husband completely and under the illusion that she's in a loving committed relationship.

You are not responsible for his actions or what goes on in his marriage, but you ARE responsible for your own actions. You know he is married and you know there is always the chance she will find out and be devastated. I would not want to play a part in doing that to another person, and if you do, maybe you need to look at the type of person you are.

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By *iss_tressWoman  over a year ago

London


"Pros and cons really. If you don't want a relationship they are great because they can't pester you, but if you do they are not so great because they can't meet regularly. Be prepared to stop wearing perfume, lipstick, and anything else that might transfer. No scratching, biting, or other marks. Usually daytime meets that are quite short.

But if that suits you, go for it."

Why it's a big no no from me. One man wanted me to shower in the gel his wife used and her perfume. He arrived with them and was sent packing with them too!

If you're relying on a married man to fulfill any emotional need: more fool you. He's already shown himself to be a liar and a cheat. If that's all you think you're worth/deserve...knock yourself out!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"When I see post like this it realy gets my goat! Cheating is cheating in any place if you choose to play with that person then feel free for whatever reason. However the genuine married swinger gets pulled into the argument and is judged. I hope that the people who have read this post understand the difference between married and cheating and married and swinging.

Yes, but if they admitted to grasping the (not so difficult) concept that cheating and swinging are completely different things, they couldn't use it as an excuse all the time."

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Hmm. There's no positive outcome here is there? Which I knew already, I just wanted to see if there had been any 'success' stories. Looks like there hasn't been any, so I may save myself a whole heap of pain and knock this one on the head. The elicit thought of it all is all so exciting though..."

It's very exciting scenario...and if you click can go from Fuck Buddies to Friends With Benefits.... been there done it got the t shirt with a married lady.... just was sad when she & hubby moved away with his work... and he still doesn't know...(we email from time to time)...

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I am sure of a man did a thread about married women it would be ww3 lol.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Just to make some points that some of you are assuming.

- I haven't met this person through Fab

- I have known him for a number of years (but not his wife)

- To all the 'haters' out there, I've just merely asked for an opinion of any experience.

- We like each other, a lot

- We haven't done anything, albeit, yet...

To the person that thinks I'm worse than a prostitute, you're the most judgmental person I've ever heard and you're an uneducated, 'jump the gun' person who's opinion is neither valid or worthy, not to mention very insulting.

Oh, and to all the married swingers that say that the difference with an affair and consent are completely different; did you have sharing the wife / husband with other people written into your wedding vows? Thought not....

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By *iewMan  over a year ago
Forum Mod

Angus & Findhorn


"Just to make some points that some of you are assuming.

- I haven't met this person through Fab

- I have known him for a number of years (but not his wife)

- To all the 'haters' out there, I've just merely asked for an opinion of any experience.

- We like each other, a lot

- We haven't done anything, albeit, yet...

To the person that thinks I'm worse than a prostitute, you're the most judgmental person I've ever heard and you're an uneducated, 'jump the gun' person who's opinion is neither valid or worthy, not to mention very insulting.

Oh, and to all the married swingers that say that the difference with an affair and consent are completely different; did you have sharing the wife / husband with other people written into your wedding vows? Thought not.... "

was the point of this thread to get people to give you the green light, only agree with your intent and pat you on the back

why ask ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I've had many encounters with married and attached men.

I like them better because they don't form an attachment to you and bombard you all the time with messages and are quite happy to leave you alone after.

I also feel much naughtier knowing that at that moment they've chosen to see me rather than be with their wife/girlfriend.

Only once I have I had a repercussion from it and I just denied all knowledge of the person

At the end of the day it's not me that's cheating so why should I feel guilty.

so the weasels way out.... when in doubt lie further and deny all knowledge..

compound all the deceit... blame him... all his fault the nasty pasty!!!

Oh but i just "happened" to land on his cock.... its was all some frightful error!!!

if you go into something knowing they are married and playing away then I believe you are as complicit in what happens next as they person doing it is....

if you are big enough to get involved knowingly, then you should be big enough to deal with the consequences, and big enough to hold up your hands if you get caught....

sympathy for getting caught.... different question... none from me

Another way you could look at it is that I was discreet about what he does and where he finds his fun right up until the end. I'm not in ,it to deal with angry wives. If it happens. I'll rdeny.

"Denial, the last refuge of the scoundrel."

Not sure who said it, but I think its apt.

If you are adult enough to play with someone else's partner just for shits and giggles, at least have the decency to face the consequences if it all goes tits up, nothing worse than someone who tries to wriggle out of it by heaping lies on lies.

Mind you, I suppose I'm asking too much by asking for decency in these cases!

Cheating is cheating. The way I see it, Women that have Sex with a man they know is married are less clever than a Prostitute. She gets paid by married men for a Fuck. Will you? "

You disgust me with your thinking. It happens all the time so grow up. And as for labelling me as lower than a prostitute, I haven't actually done anything, so where the hell do you get off?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

The whole thing about married couples on here and at clubs is that they do it together and have each other's consent, no ones going behind anyone's back and there isn't some poor woman waiting for her husband to come home from 'golf' or a 'business trip/meeting' I think the point i they're not hurting anyone. Xx

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Just to make some points that some of you are assuming.

- I haven't met this person through Fab

- I have known him for a number of years (but not his wife)

- To all the 'haters' out there, I've just merely asked for an opinion of any experience.

- We like each other, a lot

- We haven't done anything, albeit, yet...

To the person that thinks I'm worse than a prostitute, you're the most judgmental person I've ever heard and you're an uneducated, 'jump the gun' person who's opinion is neither valid or worthy, not to mention very insulting.

Oh, and to all the married swingers that say that the difference with an affair and consent are completely different; did you have sharing the wife / husband with other people written into your wedding vows? Thought not.... "

Ok, so if he likes you so much, tell him to leave his wife and then you two can be together properly.

As for the cheating/ consensual swinging question. If you can't see how playing WITH your partner there, with both members happy and participating is different to one person being lied to and cheated on, is different, then there is no point even continuing the discussion.

As I said, its not a hard concept to grasp, I think you're just using it to try and justify something that I would hope you know is wrong.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"All I can say is "words fail me"!

No wonder so many marriages end in divorce when nobody these days seem to understand the sanctity of their vows...just shocking! "

Although there's a higher rate of divorce now than what it used to be it's not all due to cheating. It's more acceptable now for people to get a divorce if things aren't working out. Sticking it for the sake of the kids isn't always the best idea depending on their age cause an unhappy home isn't as good an idea as having divorced parents who're both happy. It's everyone's choice to decide on how to resolve the issues but you can't use that sanctity of their vows stuff

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Just to make some points that some of you are assuming.

- I haven't met this person through Fab

- I have known him for a number of years (but not his wife)

- To all the 'haters' out there, I've just merely asked for an opinion of any experience.

- We like each other, a lot

- We haven't done anything, albeit, yet...

To the person that thinks I'm worse than a prostitute, you're the most judgmental person I've ever heard and you're an uneducated, 'jump the gun' person who's opinion is neither valid or worthy, not to mention very insulting.

Oh, and to all the married swingers that say that the difference with an affair and consent are completely different; did you have sharing the wife / husband with other people written into your wedding vows? Thought not....

was the point of this thread to get people to give you the green light, only agree with your intent and pat you on the back

why ask ?"

Nope. If you can read properly, you'll see that I wanted to hear other people's experiences, not hear 'go for it'. There are 1000's of people on here playing away from home and I wanted to know their opinion, which doesn't include you by the way.

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By *iewMan  over a year ago
Forum Mod

Angus & Findhorn


"which doesn't include you by the way."

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

Cheating is cheating. The way I see it, Women that have Sex with a man they know is married are less clever than a Prostitute. She gets paid by married men for a Fuck. Will you?

You disgust me with your thinking. It happens all the time so grow up. And as for labelling me as lower than a prostitute, I haven't actually done anything, so where the hell do you get off?"

Try not to get defensive darling, if you get found out you'll have this all the time, that's the reality people WILL judge you whatever the reasons and stories behind the situation, and without wanting to sound cruel he will probably (apologies for the assumption but it usually happens) run back to his wife with a slap on the wrist and you'll be tarred as a homewreaker by everyone that knows about it

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

if you put something in an open forum people will contribute. Their contributions might not be what you want to hear, they might not coincide with your _iews but one thing's for certain you can't stop them.

You have been around the fora for a while you MUST have had an idea that this thread would go this way.

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By *iewMan  over a year ago
Forum Mod

Angus & Findhorn

the very fact that you mention 'did he leave his wife for you ?' suggests to me..... that is what you are seeking.

your intent is clear.

whether you wanted my opinion or not, that is it.

good luck with your very questionable quest.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"if you put something in an open forum people will contribute. Their contributions might not be what you want to hear, they might not coincide with your _iews but one thing's for certain you can't stop them.

You have been around the fora for a while you MUST have had an idea that this thread would go this way."

And again what they said

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Does he know your on fab?? Xx

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"if you put something in an open forum people will contribute. Their contributions might not be what you want to hear, they might not coincide with your _iews but one thing's for certain you can't stop them.

You have been around the fora for a while you MUST have had an idea that this thread would go this way.

And again what they said "

Hello

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Fuck it, I'll just let you all continue fighting amongst yourselves.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"if you put something in an open forum people will contribute. Their contributions might not be what you want to hear, they might not coincide with your _iews but one thing's for certain you can't stop them.

You have been around the fora for a while you MUST have had an idea that this thread would go this way.

And again what they said

Hello "

If I say hello back, does that constitute "hijacking a thread"? Xx

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Your profile says you don't want to meet married men??!

I hope you think long and hard before you jump into anything, you seem to know your own mind changing it for a bloke doesn't usually end well x

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"if you put something in an open forum people will contribute. Their contributions might not be what you want to hear, they might not coincide with your _iews but one thing's for certain you can't stop them.

You have been around the fora for a while you MUST have had an idea that this thread would go this way.

And again what they said

Hello

If I say hello back, does that constitute "hijacking a thread"? Xx"

Yes xx so you had better not

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"if you put something in an open forum people will contribute. Their contributions might not be what you want to hear, they might not coincide with your _iews but one thing's for certain you can't stop them.

You have been around the fora for a while you MUST have had an idea that this thread would go this way.

And again what they said

Hello

If I say hello back, does that constitute "hijacking a thread"? Xx

Yes xx so you had better not "

Ok I won't then

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

i would never get involved with a married man its gets very complicated, you get hurt and you may end up together but its not very likely and you will always feel a bit guilty thats if you are realy a decent person.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Fuck it, I'll just let you all continue fighting amongst yourselves."

Several people have given you their experiences. Other people have given you their experiences of being on the other end of the situation.

Maybe there aren't that many single girls who can share with you as there aren't that many who would get involved in that situation.

I'm not sure what else you are looking for here? Its am emotive subject and people will have strong opinions on it... therefore causing debate and arguments.

As someone else said (before he was told his opinion wasn't welcome) it comes across that you were looking for a bunch of people to come and tell you that their affair turned into an epic love story and they are still together now.

If that's what you want from this guy, ask him to leave his wife first. If he wont, then find someone else.

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By *iss_tressWoman  over a year ago

London


"I do wish the marrieds and playing away, and the people who will play with them would just get on with it....

the justifications, the bleatings how unfair it is, stop being judgemental, and the grandstanding of their affairs is sickening at times.

just shag him or her and blank the pain of the innocent out of your mind.

"

I love you: this!!!

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By *abioMan  over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead


"Fuck it, I'll just let you all continue fighting amongst yourselves."

that's translation for "I didn't get the answers I was wanting/expecting.... so I have decided to stick my fingers in my ears and scream la la la till the noise stops"

I tried asking you a genuine question... which was "how would you feel if you were the other woman on the end of what you are proposing?"

if they are prepare to lie to the person they profess to love move than any other, then you should be no more nieve than to think they would do the same to you....

if you are prepared to knowingly be part of that lie.... then any consequence of that is on your head and your conscience

but heck... just sex... right????

someone else touched on something else earlier... I would hope that you would have enough self respect, self esteem and dignity for yourself and say "I am worth much more than that"

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"...

Oh, and to all the married swingers that say that the difference with an affair and consent are completely different; did you have sharing the wife / husband with other people written into your wedding vows? Thought not.... "

Are you for real??! You think there's no difference between cheating and swinging?!

That is the dumbest thing I've ever read on here. And that's saying something!

You asked for people's opinions, they gave them. Sounds like you just want to hear that all affairs end with the husband and mistress riding off into the sunset on a cloud of glitter.

Good luck with that.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I do wish the marrieds and playing away, and the people who will play with them would just get on with it....

the justifications, the bleatings how unfair it is, stop being judgemental, and the grandstanding of their affairs is sickening at times.

just shag him or her and blank the pain of the innocent out of your mind.

I love you: this!!! "

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Its all got a bit feisty since I last looked.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Fuck it, I'll just let you all continue fighting amongst yourselves.

that's translation for "I didn't get the answers I was wanting/expecting.... so I have decided to stick my fingers in my ears and scream la la la till the noise stops"

I tried asking you a genuine question... which was "how would you feel if you were the other woman on the end of what you are proposing?"

if they are prepare to lie to the person they profess to love move than any other, then you should be no more nieve than to think they would do the same to you....

if you are prepared to knowingly be part of that lie.... then any consequence of that is on your head and your conscience

but heck... just sex... right????

someone else touched on something else earlier... I would hope that you would have enough self respect, self esteem and dignity for yourself and say "I am worth much more than that""

I will answer your question seeing as you're so eager for a response.

Why should I care about the wife / kids? I don't know them. I won't treat this relationship any differently to any other; it's NSA and that's what we're all on here for after all. Of course I've been cheated on before, most people have; and whilst I didn't enjoy being in that position, my hate was geared towards my partner, not the 'other woman'.

On another note, I hardly think a swingers site is the place to preach about the sanctity of marriage. If everyone stuck to the vows they made, this site wouldn't exist.

Lastly, thanks for the dozen or so pm's I've received empathising with my predicament.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"...

Oh, and to all the married swingers that say that the difference with an affair and consent are completely different; did you have sharing the wife / husband with other people written into your wedding vows? Thought not....

Are you for real??! You think there's no difference between cheating and swinging?!

That is the dumbest thing I've ever read on here. And that's saying something!

You asked for people's opinions, they gave them. Sounds like you just want to hear that all affairs end with the husband and mistress riding off into the sunset on a cloud of glitter.

Good luck with that. "

Such a naive perspective, and you obviously haven't read my original post. I haven't even slept with this man, let alone had any grandiose and pathetic ideas of coupledome - that's all your presumption / mind, not mine.

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By *ugby 123Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

You will always get posters telling you you shouldn't be doing it when the "married " subject is involved....but it matters not to anyone but you and the person you meet, it is yours and the married persons choice and it sounds like you have made it.

On another note...on This morning tommorow there is a spot on about a website for " affairs" it could be interesting

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"...

Oh, and to all the married swingers that say that the difference with an affair and consent are completely different; did you have sharing the wife / husband with other people written into your wedding vows? Thought not....

Are you for real??! You think there's no difference between cheating and swinging?!

That is the dumbest thing I've ever read on here. And that's saying something!

You asked for people's opinions, they gave them. Sounds like you just want to hear that all affairs end with the husband and mistress riding off into the sunset on a cloud of glitter.

Good luck with that.

Such a naive perspective, and you obviously haven't read my original post. I haven't even slept with this man, let alone had any grandiose and pathetic ideas of coupledome - that's all your presumption / mind, not mine."

Actually one of the first things you wrote was to ask if anyone had a married guys leave their wives for them. You later went on to say you like him. A lot.

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By *SweetVioletxWoman  over a year ago

Liverpool


"Just to make some points that some of you are assuming.

- I haven't met this person through Fab

- I have known him for a number of years (but not his wife)

- To all the 'haters' out there, I've just merely asked for an opinion of any experience.

- We like each other, a lot

- We haven't done anything, albeit, yet...

To the person that thinks I'm worse than a prostitute, you're the most judgmental person I've ever heard and you're an uneducated, 'jump the gun' person who's opinion is neither valid or worthy, not to mention very insulting.

Oh, and to all the married swingers that say that the difference with an affair and consent are completely different; did you have sharing the wife / husband with other people written into your wedding vows? Thought not.... "

Nowt to do with wedding vows I'd feel as strongly about this whether it was a marriage, a civil partnership or just your bog standard relationship.

You asked for an opinion on an open forum and us haters are giving you our opinion.

Well I'm sure his wife likes him too.

Why don't you ask her for her opinion on the matter? How would she feel if you fucked her husband?

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By *abioMan  over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead


"You will always get posters telling you you shouldn't be doing it when the "married " subject is involved....but it matters not to anyone but you and the person you meet, it is yours and the married persons choice and it sounds like you have made it.

On another note...on This morning tommorow there is a spot on about a website for " affairs" it could be interesting "

there are a couple of reasons why most people in that situation wont head for those sites.....

1) too "close" to home... they don't want it too be staring them in the face and the consquences that come along with that

2) those site tend to charge money.... a lot of money... and since the likes of fab is free, heck why pay!!! and those swingers will have lower standards and shag anything......

i am being facitious in the last sentence

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Just to clarify Nordic...the difference between what you're proposing and swinging is that, if you wanted to swing you would call over to his house, tell his wife about it all and agree to a wonderful threesome together with her and her hubby. The absence of that consent and that communication and that sharing is what makes it cheating. Not getting judgmental with you...just trying to clarify the issue

Also swinging or not swinging isn't mentioned in any marriage vows I'm aware of. As far as I'm concerned I made a commitment to my wife to try and make sure we both had a good and interesting life together. Us exploring our sexual fantasies together is an integral part of that commitment imo

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"You will always get posters telling you you shouldn't be doing it when the "married " subject is involved....but it matters not to anyone but you and the person you meet, it is yours and the married persons choice and it sounds like you have made it.

On another note...on This morning tommorow there is a spot on about a website for " affairs" it could be interesting

there are a couple of reasons why most people in that situation wont head for those sites.....

1) too "close" to home... they don't want it too be staring them in the face and the consquences that come along with that

2) those site tend to charge money.... a lot of money... and since the likes of fab is free, heck why pay!!! and those swingers will have lower standards and shag anything......

i am being facitious in the last sentence"

also I woud hazard a guess that the first place a suspicious partner would look would be a site specialising in affairs if the net appeared to be connected to their activities and a swingers site a bit lower down the list.

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By *abioMan  over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead


"

Why should I care about the wife / kids? I don't know them. I won't treat this relationship any differently to any other; it's NSA and that's what we're all on here for after all. Of course I've been cheated on before, most people have; and whilst I didn't enjoy being in that position, my hate was geared towards my partner, not the 'other woman'.

"

that is about as cold a start to a reply as i can remember here for a while...

I think the biggest difference between you and most is that most will remember the times they have been cheated on, and the subsecquent pain and say "i wouldn't want to inflict that potentially on anyone else!"

but apparently...... not you!

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Just to make some points that some of you are assuming.

- I haven't met this person through Fab

- I have known him for a number of years (but not his wife)

- To all the 'haters' out there, I've just merely asked for an opinion of any experience.

- We like each other, a lot

- We haven't done anything, albeit, yet...

To the person that thinks I'm worse than a prostitute, you're the most judgmental person I've ever heard and you're an uneducated, 'jump the gun' person who's opinion is neither valid or worthy, not to mention very insulting.

Oh, and to all the married swingers that say that the difference with an affair and consent are completely different; did you have sharing the wife / husband with other people written into your wedding vows? Thought not....

Nowt to do with wedding vows I'd feel as strongly about this whether it was a marriage, a civil partnership or just your bog standard relationship.

You asked for an opinion on an open forum and us haters are giving you our opinion.

Well I'm sure his wife likes him too.

Why don't you ask her for her opinion on the matter? How would she feel if you fucked her husband? "

Why should I care? I don't know her, never even met her / know her name. I'm talking about NSA fun, not an affair.

A swingers site is hardly the place to come over all moralistic now is it?

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"

Why should I care about the wife / kids? I don't know them. I won't treat this relationship any differently to any other; it's NSA and that's what we're all on here for after all. Of course I've been cheated on before, most people have; and whilst I didn't enjoy being in that position, my hate was geared towards my partner, not the 'other woman'.

that is about as cold a start to a reply as i can remember here for a while...

I think the biggest difference between you and most is that most will remember the times they have been cheated on, and the subsecquent pain and say "i wouldn't want to inflict that potentially on anyone else!"

but apparently...... not you! "

It happens! Get over it...

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

It might be a swingers site but I'm sure a lot of us have morals and are not out to hurt anyone

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

Why should I care about the wife / kids? I don't know them. I won't treat this relationship any differently to any other; it's NSA and that's what we're all on here for after all. Of course I've been cheated on before, most people have; and whilst I didn't enjoy being in that position, my hate was geared towards my partner, not the 'other woman'.

that is about as cold a start to a reply as i can remember here for a while...

I think the biggest difference between you and most is that most will remember the times they have been cheated on, and the subsecquent pain and say "i wouldn't want to inflict that potentially on anyone else!"

but apparently...... not you! "

I know, I didn't even have a response to that and I'm not usually lost for words. I spend my years teaching kids to respect others and treat them the way you would want to be treated. Shame grown adults can't do it.

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"It might be a swingers site but I'm sure a lot of us have morals and are not out to hurt anyone "

I am but in a good way...a very good way

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It might be a swingers site but I'm sure a lot of us have morals and are not out to hurt anyone

I am but in a good way...a very good way "

Oh I like being hurt "in a good way"

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By *radleyandRavenCouple  over a year ago

Herts


"Why should I care about the wife / kids? I don't know them."

That comment kind of says it all to me, but I had a feeling you felt that way before which is why I didn't comment.

I don't expect to be able to change how you feel so all I will say is good luck to you. x

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"It might be a swingers site but I'm sure a lot of us have morals and are not out to hurt anyone

I am but in a good way...a very good way

Oh I like being hurt "in a good way" "

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Just to make some points that some of you are assuming.

- I haven't met this person through Fab

- I have known him for a number of years (but not his wife)

- To all the 'haters' out there, I've just merely asked for an opinion of any experience.

- We like each other, a lot

- We haven't done anything, albeit, yet...

To the person that thinks I'm worse than a prostitute, you're the most judgmental person I've ever heard and you're an uneducated, 'jump the gun' person who's opinion is neither valid or worthy, not to mention very insulting.

Oh, and to all the married swingers that say that the difference with an affair and consent are completely different; did you have sharing the wife / husband with other people written into your wedding vows? Thought not....

Nowt to do with wedding vows I'd feel as strongly about this whether it was a marriage, a civil partnership or just your bog standard relationship.

You asked for an opinion on an open forum and us haters are giving you our opinion.

Well I'm sure his wife likes him too.

Why don't you ask her for her opinion on the matter? How would she feel if you fucked her husband?

Why should I care? I don't know her, never even met her / know her name. I'm talking about NSA fun, not an affair.

A swingers site is hardly the place to come over all moralistic now is it?"

'the pull of the 'affair' is so great; so ridiculously exciting'

your words

Why can't you have morals on a swingers site? I'm not hurting, lying to or deceiving anybody.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Fuck it, I'll just let you all continue fighting amongst yourselves.

that's translation for "I didn't get the answers I was wanting/expecting.... so I have decided to stick my fingers in my ears and scream la la la till the noise stops"

I tried asking you a genuine question... which was "how would you feel if you were the other woman on the end of what you are proposing?"

if they are prepare to lie to the person they profess to love move than any other, then you should be no more nieve than to think they would do the same to you....

if you are prepared to knowingly be part of that lie.... then any consequence of that is on your head and your conscience

but heck... just sex... right????

someone else touched on something else earlier... I would hope that you would have enough self respect, self esteem and dignity for yourself and say "I am worth much more than that"

I will answer your question seeing as you're so eager for a response.

Why should I care about the wife / kids? I don't know them. I won't treat this relationship any differently to any other; it's NSA and that's what we're all on here for after all. Of course I've been cheated on before, most people have; and whilst I didn't enjoy being in that position, my hate was geared towards my partner, not the 'other woman'.

On another note, I hardly think a swingers site is the place to preach about the sanctity of marriage. If everyone stuck to the vows they made, this site wouldn't exist.

Lastly, thanks for the dozen or so pm's I've received empathising with my predicament.

"

If he has kids and you know that I personally think you shouldn't go for it. Every child will react differently if things were to backfire. I'm not saying it's guaranteed that the kids will embark on crime sprees but they could easily be like the teen who raped and killed his teacher some time last yr cause "his parents were getting a divorce." I'm not saying that the affair you're planning to have will be discovered or that it won't, the kids shouldn't have to suffer if it does backfire

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Just to make some points that some of you are assuming.

- I haven't met this person through Fab

- I have known him for a number of years (but not his wife)

- To all the 'haters' out there, I've just merely asked for an opinion of any experience.

- We like each other, a lot

- We haven't done anything, albeit, yet...

To the person that thinks I'm worse than a prostitute, you're the most judgmental person I've ever heard and you're an uneducated, 'jump the gun' person who's opinion is neither valid or worthy, not to mention very insulting.

Oh, and to all the married swingers that say that the difference with an affair and consent are completely different; did you have sharing the wife / husband with other people written into your wedding vows? Thought not....

Nowt to do with wedding vows I'd feel as strongly about this whether it was a marriage, a civil partnership or just your bog standard relationship.

You asked for an opinion on an open forum and us haters are giving you our opinion.

Well I'm sure his wife likes him too.

Why don't you ask her for her opinion on the matter? How would she feel if you fucked her husband?

Why should I care? I don't know her, never even met her / know her name. I'm talking about NSA fun, not an affair.

A swingers site is hardly the place to come over all moralistic now is it?

'the pull of the 'affair' is so great; so ridiculously exciting'

your words

Why can't you have morals on a swingers site? I'm not hurting, lying to or deceiving anybody."

The word affair was in inverted commas; understand?

Morality means the standards of behaviour between right and wrong, and are withheld on this site. I could give numerous examples but I'm sure you understand what I mean.

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By *aughtyButExtraNice69Woman  over a year ago

Rotherham

A very big No Go for me if the guy is married!

My dad cheated and my fiance cheated on me so i have seen first hand the hurt it causes so i would never intentionally cause that to happen to anyone else!!!

Like others have said if your after a unreliable guy who cant spend the night and who is likely to drop you at the first sign of him been caught then go for it,,, but personally its not for me.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Okay, now your quoting what morality means. You answered your own question

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I've had many encounters with married and attached men.

I like them better because they don't form an attachment to you and bombard you all the time with messages and are quite happy to leave you alone after.

I also feel much naughtier knowing that at that moment they've chosen to see me rather than be with their wife/girlfriend.

Only once I have I had a repercussion from it and I just denied all knowledge of the person

At the end of the day it's not me that's cheating so why should I feel guilty.

so the weasels way out.... when in doubt lie further and deny all knowledge..

compound all the deceit... blame him... all his fault the nasty pasty!!!

Oh but i just "happened" to land on his cock.... its was all some frightful error!!!

if you go into something knowing they are married and playing away then I believe you are as complicit in what happens next as they person doing it is....

if you are big enough to get involved knowingly, then you should be big enough to deal with the consequences, and big enough to hold up your hands if you get caught....

sympathy for getting caught.... different question... none from me

Another way you could look at it is that I was discreet about what he does and where he finds his fun right up until the end. I'm not in ,it to deal with angry wives. If it happens. I'll rdeny.

"Denial, the last refuge of the scoundrel."

Not sure who said it, but I think its apt.

If you are adult enough to play with someone else's partner just for shits and giggles, at least have the decency to face the consequences if it all goes tits up, nothing worse than someone who tries to wriggle out of it by heaping lies on lies.

Mind you, I suppose I'm asking too much by asking for decency in these cases!

Cheating is cheating. The way I see it, Women that have Sex with a man they know is married are less clever than a Prostitute. She gets paid by married men for a Fuck. Will you?

You disgust me with your thinking. It happens all the time so grow up. And as for labelling me as lower than a prostitute, I haven't actually done anything, so where the hell do you get off?"

Nordic read again. Where does it mention you in my remark? It's the truth that a Married Man that wants a Fuck has 3 options. Be faithful, pay for a prostitute or find some slut that will open her legs for free and ignore the fact that she was probably at a friend's house the week before consolling a friend that got cheated on.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Okay, now your quoting what morality means. You answered your own question"

I've stated what it means, not what I feel.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I do wish the marrieds and playing away, and the people who will play with them would just get on with it....

the justifications, the bleatings how unfair it is, stop being judgemental, and the grandstanding of their affairs is sickening at times.

just shag him or her and blank the pain of the innocent out of your mind.

"

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Okay, now your quoting what morality means. You answered your own question

I've stated what it means, not what I feel."

Don't assume that the majority of people on here don't have morals. What most of us do is out in the open and not wrong

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By *aughtyButExtraNice69Woman  over a year ago

Rotherham


"There are literally 1000's playing away from home on here, so I don't understand the harsh judgmental comments. FFS you play with with other people's spouses every weekend at clubs specifically geared up for swapping, so I think it's a bit harsh to judge me on an affair that hasn't even taken place yet!"

Yes but couples at clubs tend to be people in relationships already who both enjoy that whole senario, or its fuck buddies. Seeing a MARRIED man behind his WIFES back is completly different to a swingers club!!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

Why should I care about the wife / kids? I don't know them. I won't treat this relationship any differently to any other; it's NSA and that's what we're all on here for after all. Of course I've been cheated on before, most people have; and whilst I didn't enjoy being in that position, my hate was geared towards my partner, not the 'other woman'.

that is about as cold a start to a reply as i can remember here for a while...

I think the biggest difference between you and most is that most will remember the times they have been cheated on, and the subsecquent pain and say "i wouldn't want to inflict that potentially on anyone else!"

but apparently...... not you!

It happens! Get over it..."

Oh dear, I was feeling a little bit sorry for the op earlier, how disappointed am I?? I really don't know how you can go around with an attitude like that?? Your actions affect others...... tread lightly through life unless you know you can change something for the better, karma exists.... I hope your never on the receiving end of something like this.... I think maybe look inside yourself and ask if you really need a married man to make you feel worthy, why not wait for someone who won't mind walking down the street with you

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Just to make some points that some of you are assuming.

- I haven't met this person through Fab

- I have known him for a number of years (but not his wife)

- To all the 'haters' out there, I've just merely asked for an opinion of any experience.

- We like each other, a lot

- We haven't done anything, albeit, yet...

To the person that thinks I'm worse than a prostitute, you're the most judgmental person I've ever heard and you're an uneducated, 'jump the gun' person who's opinion is neither valid or worthy, not to mention very insulting.

Oh, and to all the married swingers that say that the difference with an affair and consent are completely different; did you have sharing the wife / husband with other people written into your wedding vows? Thought not....

was the point of this thread to get people to give you the green light, only agree with your intent and pat you on the back

why ask ?

Nope. If you can read properly, you'll see that I wanted to hear other people's experiences, not hear 'go for it'. There are 1000's of people on here playing away from home and I wanted to know their opinion, which doesn't include you by the way."

I am neither judgemental or uneducated but thanks for the direct insults. You asked for anopinion and I gave mine based on my experiences. A Prostitute provides a service for a price the Man pays it. A female that KNOWS a man is Married is acting as his Prostitute but giving her services for free. Who is ccleverer? One will end up richer, the other will end up hurting, feeling disgusted with herself and possibly beaten up. I am generalizing here not aiming at you personally.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I've had many encounters with married and attached men.

I like them better because they don't form an attachment to you and bombard you all the time with messages and are quite happy to leave you alone after.

I also feel much naughtier knowing that at that moment they've chosen to see me rather than be with their wife/girlfriend.

Only once I have I had a repercussion from it and I just denied all knowledge of the person

At the end of the day it's not me that's cheating so why should I feel guilty.

so the weasels way out.... when in doubt lie further and deny all knowledge..

compound all the deceit... blame him... all his fault the nasty pasty!!!

Oh but i just "happened" to land on his cock.... its was all some frightful error!!!

if you go into something knowing they are married and playing away then I believe you are as complicit in what happens next as they person doing it is....

if you are big enough to get involved knowingly, then you should be big enough to deal with the consequences, and big enough to hold up your hands if you get caught....

sympathy for getting caught.... different question... none from me

Another way you could look at it is that I was discreet about what he does and where he finds his fun right up until the end. I'm not in ,it to deal with angry wives. If it happens. I'll rdeny.

"Denial, the last refuge of the scoundrel."

Not sure who said it, but I think its apt.

If you are adult enough to play with someone else's partner just for shits and giggles, at least have the decency to face the consequences if it all goes tits up, nothing worse than someone who tries to wriggle out of it by heaping lies on lies.

Mind you, I suppose I'm asking too much by asking for decency in these cases!

Cheating is cheating. The way I see it, Women that have Sex with a man they know is married are less clever than a Prostitute. She gets paid by married men for a Fuck. Will you?

You disgust me with your thinking. It happens all the time so grow up. And as for labelling me as lower than a prostitute, I haven't actually done anything, so where the hell do you get off?

Nordic read again. Where does it mention you in my remark? It's the truth that a Married Man that wants a Fuck has 3 options. Be faithful, pay for a prostitute or find some slut that will open her legs for free and ignore the fact that she was probably at a friend's house the week before consolling a friend that got cheated on. "

I can then only assume that you're referring to me as the third option? Nicely put, thanks (sic).

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By *thwalescplCouple  over a year ago

brecon


"Just to make some points that some of you are assuming.

- I haven't met this person through Fab

- I have known him for a number of years (but not his wife)

- To all the 'haters' out there, I've just merely asked for an opinion of any experience.

- We like each other, a lot

- We haven't done anything, albeit, yet...

To the person that thinks I'm worse than a prostitute, you're the most judgmental person I've ever heard and you're an uneducated, 'jump the gun' person who's opinion is neither valid or worthy, not to mention very insulting.

Oh, and to all the married swingers that say that the difference with an affair and consent are completely different; did you have sharing the wife / husband with other people written into your wedding vows? Thought not....

Nowt to do with wedding vows I'd feel as strongly about this whether it was a marriage, a civil partnership or just your bog standard relationship.

You asked for an opinion on an open forum and us haters are giving you our opinion.

Well I'm sure his wife likes him too.

Why don't you ask her for her opinion on the matter? How would she feel if you fucked her husband?

Why should I care? I don't know her, never even met her / know her name. I'm talking about NSA fun, not an affair.

A swingers site is hardly the place to come over all moralistic now is it?"

And.... "Why should I care about the wife / kids? I don't know them."

Surely the coldest response to any question about being involved in cheating, heartless is probably the best word to describe it.

He's married, whether you have sex once, or several times, its still cheating, and, no matter how you paint it, it can't be "NSA", because HE'S MARRIED WITH KIDS!!!

"A swingers site is hardly the place to come over all moralistic now is it?"

So, swingers have no, or low, morals, is that what you are inferring?

Really?

Next you will be telling us that you ended up with a profile ( a swinging profile!) on here by accident!

If you had met him, dated, shagged, fallen in love and THEN found out he was married, I'd have some sympathy... but to go into this with eyes wide open.... AND seemingly hoping for something more (as it states in your OP), well, thats got to be the lowest of the low.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Just to make some points that some of you are assuming.

- I haven't met this person through Fab

- I have known him for a number of years (but not his wife)

- To all the 'haters' out there, I've just merely asked for an opinion of any experience.

- We like each other, a lot

- We haven't done anything, albeit, yet...

To the person that thinks I'm worse than a prostitute, you're the most judgmental person I've ever heard and you're an uneducated, 'jump the gun' person who's opinion is neither valid or worthy, not to mention very insulting.

Oh, and to all the married swingers that say that the difference with an affair and consent are completely different; did you have sharing the wife / husband with other people written into your wedding vows? Thought not....

Nowt to do with wedding vows I'd feel as strongly about this whether it was a marriage, a civil partnership or just your bog standard relationship.

You asked for an opinion on an open forum and us haters are giving you our opinion.

Well I'm sure his wife likes him too.

Why don't you ask her for her opinion on the matter? How would she feel if you fucked her husband?

Why should I care? I don't know her, never even met her / know her name. I'm talking about NSA fun, not an affair.

A swingers site is hardly the place to come over all moralistic now is it?

'the pull of the 'affair' is so great; so ridiculously exciting'

your words

Why can't you have morals on a swingers site? I'm not hurting, lying to or deceiving anybody.

The word affair was in inverted commas; understand?

Morality means the standards of behaviour between right and wrong, and are withheld on this site. I could give numerous examples but I'm sure you understand what I mean."

Well done, you can use dictionary.com

Like I said, I hurt nobody. Nothing bad happens to another person as a consequence of anything I may do.

I know the difference between right and wrong. Knowingly seeking relations with a married person and not giving a flying fcuk who you hurt in the process is wrong. I have never and would never do that. Please do not imply that because I choose to have an account on this site that I am the same as you. Its offensive.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I think that two wrongs don't makeba right.

It always amuses me when I see the Adulterer/Swinger supporters indulge in a spot of one upmanship.

In the court of puplic opinion both are wrong.

For this reason I always steer clear of putting forward justification arguments.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Just to make some points that some of you are assuming.

- I haven't met this person through Fab

- I have known him for a number of years (but not his wife)

- To all the 'haters' out there, I've just merely asked for an opinion of any experience.

- We like each other, a lot

- We haven't done anything, albeit, yet...

To the person that thinks I'm worse than a prostitute, you're the most judgmental person I've ever heard and you're an uneducated, 'jump the gun' person who's opinion is neither valid or worthy, not to mention very insulting.

Oh, and to all the married swingers that say that the difference with an affair and consent are completely different; did you have sharing the wife / husband with other people written into your wedding vows? Thought not....

Nowt to do with wedding vows I'd feel as strongly about this whether it was a marriage, a civil partnership or just your bog standard relationship.

You asked for an opinion on an open forum and us haters are giving you our opinion.

Well I'm sure his wife likes him too.

Why don't you ask her for her opinion on the matter? How would she feel if you fucked her husband?

Why should I care? I don't know her, never even met her / know her name. I'm talking about NSA fun, not an affair.

A swingers site is hardly the place to come over all moralistic now is it?

And.... "Why should I care about the wife / kids? I don't know them."

Surely the coldest response to any question about being involved in cheating, heartless is probably the best word to describe it.

He's married, whether you have sex once, or several times, its still cheating, and, no matter how you paint it, it can't be "NSA", because HE'S MARRIED WITH KIDS!!!

"A swingers site is hardly the place to come over all moralistic now is it?"

So, swingers have no, or low, morals, is that what you are inferring?

Really?

Next you will be telling us that you ended up with a profile ( a swinging profile!) on here by accident!

If you had met him, dated, shagged, fallen in love and THEN found out he was married, I'd have some sympathy... but to go into this with eyes wide open.... AND seemingly hoping for something more (as it states in your OP), well, thats got to be the lowest of the low.

"

Thank you for your unwanted judgmental _iews. I asked for experiences, not opinions. However, you're entitled to them, so I will let it slide.

Anyone would think I'm the first woman to have sex with a married man (which I haven't even done)! What a load of old tosh, especially on this site!

I really don't care what people think of me and my predicament, but thankfully the people with the real and valid input have pm'd me.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Just to make some points that some of you are assuming.

- I haven't met this person through Fab

- I have known him for a number of years (but not his wife)

- To all the 'haters' out there, I've just merely asked for an opinion of any experience.

- We like each other, a lot

- We haven't done anything, albeit, yet...

To the person that thinks I'm worse than a prostitute, you're the most judgmental person I've ever heard and you're an uneducated, 'jump the gun' person who's opinion is neither valid or worthy, not to mention very insulting.

Oh, and to all the married swingers that say that the difference with an affair and consent are completely different; did you have sharing the wife / husband with other people written into your wedding vows? Thought not....

Nowt to do with wedding vows I'd feel as strongly about this whether it was a marriage, a civil partnership or just your bog standard relationship.

You asked for an opinion on an open forum and us haters are giving you our opinion.

Well I'm sure his wife likes him too.

Why don't you ask her for her opinion on the matter? How would she feel if you fucked her husband?

Why should I care? I don't know her, never even met her / know her name. I'm talking about NSA fun, not an affair.

A swingers site is hardly the place to come over all moralistic now is it?

And.... "Why should I care about the wife / kids? I don't know them."

Surely the coldest response to any question about being involved in cheating, heartless is probably the best word to describe it.

He's married, whether you have sex once, or several times, its still cheating, and, no matter how you paint it, it can't be "NSA", because HE'S MARRIED WITH KIDS!!!

"A swingers site is hardly the place to come over all moralistic now is it?"

So, swingers have no, or low, morals, is that what you are inferring?

Really?

Next you will be telling us that you ended up with a profile ( a swinging profile!) on here by accident!

If you had met him, dated, shagged, fallen in love and THEN found out he was married, I'd have some sympathy... but to go into this with eyes wide open.... AND seemingly hoping for something more (as it states in your OP), well, thats got to be the lowest of the low.

Thank you for your unwanted judgmental _iews. I asked for experiences, not opinions. However, you're entitled to them, so I will let it slide.

Anyone would think I'm the first woman to have sex with a married man (which I haven't even done)! What a load of old tosh, especially on this site!

I really don't care what people think of me and my predicament, but thankfully the people with the real and valid input have pm'd me."

People with real and valid input? People who told you that you're right and that you should go for it? Stuff the wife and kids!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 16/07/14 17:52:51]

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By *thwalescplCouple  over a year ago

brecon

"Morality means the standards of behaviour between right and wrong, and are withheld on this site. I could give numerous examples but I'm sure you understand what I mean."

Actually, I don't understand what you mean.

I'd be interested in learning how you can judge that swingers have no morals at all (withheld on this site), yet you think that planning to help a man cheat on his wife is somehow ok?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"You will always get posters telling you you shouldn't be doing it when the "married " subject is involved....but it matters not to anyone but you and the person you meet, it is yours and the married persons choice and it sounds like you have made it.

On another note...on This morning tommorow there is a spot on about a website for " affairs" it could be interesting

there are a couple of reasons why most people in that situation wont head for those sites.....

1) too "close" to home... they don't want it too be staring them in the face and the consquences that come along with that

2) those site tend to charge money.... a lot of money... and since the likes of fab is free, heck why pay!!! and those swingers will have lower standards and shag anything......

i am being facitious in the last sentence"

Hmmmm.....I'm not totally convinced about your reasoning Fabio because the affair type websites are huge business for the Internet dating corporations more so than their mainstream 'single' dating websites ~ so people must be signing up and paying the membership fees.

Fabs is used for swinging, hence the title but it's also used for just NSA sex & dating.

I think you'll find some people are on both affair sites and here, same as POF & here.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Real and valid input. Thanks a bunch. Appreciate that

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Just to make some points that some of you are assuming.

- I haven't met this person through Fab

- I have known him for a number of years (but not his wife)

- To all the 'haters' out there, I've just merely asked for an opinion of any experience.

- We like each other, a lot

- We haven't done anything, albeit, yet...

To the person that thinks I'm worse than a prostitute, you're the most judgmental person I've ever heard and you're an uneducated, 'jump the gun' person who's opinion is neither valid or worthy, not to mention very insulting.

Oh, and to all the married swingers that say that the difference with an affair and consent are completely different; did you have sharing the wife / husband with other people written into your wedding vows? Thought not....

Nowt to do with wedding vows I'd feel as strongly about this whether it was a marriage, a civil partnership or just your bog standard relationship.

You asked for an opinion on an open forum and us haters are giving you our opinion.

Well I'm sure his wife likes him too.

Why don't you ask her for her opinion on the matter? How would she feel if you fucked her husband?

Why should I care? I don't know her, never even met her / know her name. I'm talking about NSA fun, not an affair.

A swingers site is hardly the place to come over all moralistic now is it?

And.... "Why should I care about the wife / kids? I don't know them."

Surely the coldest response to any question about being involved in cheating, heartless is probably the best word to describe it.

He's married, whether you have sex once, or several times, its still cheating, and, no matter how you paint it, it can't be "NSA", because HE'S MARRIED WITH KIDS!!!

"A swingers site is hardly the place to come over all moralistic now is it?"

So, swingers have no, or low, morals, is that what you are inferring?

Really?

Next you will be telling us that you ended up with a profile ( a swinging profile!) on here by accident!

If you had met him, dated, shagged, fallen in love and THEN found out he was married, I'd have some sympathy... but to go into this with eyes wide open.... AND seemingly hoping for something more (as it states in your OP), well, thats got to be the lowest of the low.

Thank you for your unwanted judgmental _iews. I asked for experiences, not opinions. However, you're entitled to them, so I will let it slide.

Anyone would think I'm the first woman to have sex with a married man (which I haven't even done)! What a load of old tosh, especially on this site!

I really don't care what people think of me and my predicament, but thankfully the people with the real and valid input have pm'd me."

I did try and pm you but I'm out of your age range, my experience isn't quite the same as I didn't know he was married but turns out I wasn't the only one and I was (still am) guilt ridden, confidence shattered and wondering whether I'll ever be able to trust anyone again. While he went back to his wife to play happy families with her placing the blame solely on me.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Real and valid input. Thanks a bunch. Appreciate that "

Don't take it personally! You just didn't say exactly what she wanted to hear!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Real and valid input. Thanks a bunch. Appreciate that

Don't take it personally! You just didn't say exactly what she wanted to hear!"

Oh I didn't, I'm obviously a married woman on here with no morals

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Real and valid input. Thanks a bunch. Appreciate that

Don't take it personally! You just didn't say exactly what she wanted to hear!"

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