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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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we are a happily married couple and all we fantasise about is my wife with other men and large cocks,really turns us on.however to move that into reality is proving difficult,knowing how we will feel to see her with someone else,she is very beautiful so attracting men is not a problem.we dont want to break somethin between us if its a bad experience,i use large dildos on her and she loves the feel of other cock and i get turned on by pleasing her.we were thinking of going to secrets club to be amongst other sexual people but are afraid to go incase we see someone we know as our jobs are very public,so maybe go somewhere further away to enjoy the anonymity.a one on one meeting feels difficult and a bit intense if socially awkward.we are not fussy but are if you know what i mean.what do you think? |
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I think if you need to ask you aren't ready. If you see someone you know at a club it's no big deal they're there for the same reason you are. You could have a look and see if there are any socials nearby you could attend too. It's ok to take it slow and go at your own pace and this is a good place to discuss. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It sounds like you are very much on the edge of being ready. You seem to have chatted about it, agreed on stuff, and feel up for giving it a try. I would definitely say your next step is either to go to a club, just to take a look around not to play... see how you feel about what's going on there. Is that something you feel you'd like to get up to? It should help give you a better idea of where you're going.... or you could start arranging socials with potentially compatible couples, like us   , and start to get a feel for whether there is some chemistry there which you'd like to explore... and whether you feel comfortable both flirting with other people.
For every 1 couple that arrives at swinging together, feels comfortable with the idea, and just dives straight into it, I believe there are 4 or 5 that arrive at it in a much more shambolic way, with a lot less certainty, and who need time and experience before they can begin to feel comfortable adventuring forth beyond new boundaries. You just need to find couples who are willing to be patient and help you discover those boundaries without being too pushy  |
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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago
Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else |
These public jobs...if they're a problem they'll always be a problem - if you're always going to be looking over your shoulder then you possibly won't get as much enjoyment as you may hope.
As said above, anyone you meet in a swinging situation is themselves vulnerable to "exposure" within their own community/workplace/etc, so you should be on an even footing. But it seems to me that you need to believe that for yourself, and I'm not sure anyone's reply on here can supply that...it's down to the two of you. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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thankyou for taking the time to reply,i guess everyone has there different reasons and types of sexuality,ours is not to just screw anything,we find it very erotic.maybe a club will be a first step,just to see how we feel,any advice will be gratefully recieved,level of dress,time to show up etc....x |
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"thankyou for taking the time to reply,i guess everyone has there different reasons and types of sexuality,ours is not to just screw anything,we find it very erotic.maybe a club will be a first step,just to see how we feel,any advice will be gratefully recieved,level of dress,time to show up etc....x"
We show up whenever she is ready .
He dresses smart, she dresses uber sexy, little black dress or something similar.
Wear what you feel comfortable in.
Clubs are amazing, and we are still tip toeing. |
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Me and hubby talked about swinging for a longgg while before we took the plung (so to speak) we talked about everything we would and wouldn't be comfy with the other doing and decided a club was the way to go for us, we where made to feel welcome yet no one pushed us, although we did end up playing (towards the very end of the night) we truely believe we picked the right option for us as u can get a feel for the atmosphere, people, see if ur feelings change in that enviroment etc.. Ur under no obligation to play with anyone, u could even just try playing with each other to begin with its all at ur pace and thats the best thing when ur starting down this path xx have fun whichever path u decide on xxx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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thankyou,i think we are going to attend a club in september,gives us lots of time to tal over everything,know our boundaries,was it very exciting your first time?did it feel weird seeing others?touching others? excited but nervous.x
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"thankyou,i think we are going to attend a club in september,gives us lots of time to tal over everything,know our boundaries,was it very exciting your first time?did it feel weird seeing others?touching others? excited but nervous.x
"
You have been talking about this for almost a year now and that's fine but it is also fine to just leave it as fantasy as is attending a club and not playing. Baby steps are the way to go with anything like this. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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yes we have but we only live in the uk for half the year and then we are very busy in the tourist season in cornwall so difficult to get away..have a nice day |
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"yes we have but we only live in the uk for half the year and then we are very busy in the tourist season in cornwall so difficult to get away..have a nice day"
you don't need to explain yourself to me, I was only making an observation . I hope you have a nice day too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We are a shy couple who prefer the idea of an intimate party than a club. We aren't worried about being recognised, more being approached by too many people than we feel ready for.
We have been recommended Secrets as the best club to try, so hopefully might try it sometime soon. Song lives in Somerset for some of the week so shouldn't be too difficult for us to get to. You never know, maybe we might get to meet you x
Dance x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Why not try a social. No expectation to play and you will socialising with like minded people. I think if you have doubts they are better addressed rather than just going for it. |
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Don't forget. Swinging ain't a life sentence. Some people look, others try, some come and go as they please, others enjoy it but then stop and never come back.
I don't believe swinging changes you. You are the same people walking in as those walking out. But you have widened your circle of life experiences.
I would only advise agreeing rules before going in and on the first go stick to them until you leave. You May want to do more but make sure your not pressuring the other.
Honestly no one will force you into anything and you may find it a little tamer than the fantasies you've had. But it good fun and worse case scenario just and expensive night out in a club. But with better behaved clientel.
Enjoy.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"thankyou,i think we are going to attend a club in september,gives us lots of time to tal over everything,know our boundaries,was it very exciting your first time?did it feel weird seeing others?touching others? excited but nervous.x
You have been talking about this for almost a year now and that's fine but it is also fine to just leave it as fantasy as is attending a club and not playing. Baby steps are the way to go with anything like this."
We find quite the opposite to be the case from ours and others experience .
You want to know what it's going to be like , questions that need answers , how you will both feel etc......
Well there's only one way to find out , as the saying goes , just do it !
Worked for us and countless others over the years , some ( like us ) love it and it becomes a lifestyle choice . Others try it , don't like it and it never happens again .
But one things for sure , if you procrastinate for too long , you will never know |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"we are a happily married couple and all we fantasise about is my wife with other men and large cocks,really turns us on.however to move that into reality is proving difficult,knowing how we will feel to see her with someone else,she is very beautiful so attracting men is not a problem.we dont want to break somethin between us if its a bad experience,i use large dildos on her and she loves the feel of other cock and i get turned on by pleasing her.we were thinking of going to secrets club to be amongst other sexual people but are afraid to go incase we see someone we know as our jobs are very public,so maybe go somewhere further away to enjoy the anonymity.a one on one meeting feels difficult and a bit intense if socially awkward.we are not fussy but are if you know what i mean.what do you think?"
go for it. Enjoy |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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thankyou guys and girls,we are going in sept,wont be having sex with others going to set our limits bit of fun play for the right people,appreciate everyones patience,nervous but horny as hell.xxxx |
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