FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > advice from parents please
advice from parents please
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I am interested to know how parents would feel if they recognised their child's teacher/teaching assistant from here?
I haven't worried about it before as I didn't work locally but now I'm starting a new job I'm nervous about arranging any meets just in case.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am interested to know how parents would feel if they recognised their child's teacher/teaching assistant from here?
I haven't worried about it before as I didn't work locally but now I'm starting a new job I'm nervous about arranging any meets just in case.
"
Keep pics private . There was something in the news about something similar and it wasn't good how it ended . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It wouldn't bother me at all.
I worry sometimes as I work with children and wonder what would happen if a parent recognised me, but as a previous poster said we're all on the same site and they'd have to explain how they found you.
I do keep face pics private though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Unless you feel that theres something wrong or unsafe with yourself or other profiles on here then we cant see a problem ? If you think that because someone is part of a site to have fun with other consenting adults then they are unsuitable to work round kids then ask yourself if yourself or others you have encountered are safe, no one can blame you for being cautious but most peeps are here for the same? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The role of teacher is a regulated profession with which they have to meet certain professional and personal standards, pretty sure swinging would be considered not to standard.
This was on the news today, about police being investigated for abusing social networking sites
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-28844500
9% of these investigations ended up with the policeperson in question resigning.
It is easy for a person not in that profession who is a swinger to say "yeah its up to you", but as a professional who is answerable for your conduct you will be judged by your professional peers and the rest of society.
I made this choice when I was training to be one of those in a registered profession. I like my alternative lifestyle and did not want my personal lifestyle dragged into the public forum.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Already happened to me. Didn't bother one bit! People can have a sex life without it affecting their job. We've all been doing it for centuries. Frankly, i dont understand the question. |
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"The role of teacher is a regulated profession with which they have to meet certain professional and personal standards, pretty sure swinging would be considered not to standard.
This was on the news today, about police being investigated for abusing social networking sites
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-28844500
9% of these investigations ended up with the policeperson in question resigning.
It is easy for a person not in that profession who is a swinger to say "yeah its up to you", but as a professional who is answerable for your conduct you will be judged by your professional peers and the rest of society.
I made this choice when I was training to be one of those in a registered profession. I like my alternative lifestyle and did not want my personal lifestyle dragged into the public forum.
"
I know a few teachers on here and I also know that 1 of them was questioned about being a swinger and she did not have any problem, I also know a couple of people in the forces quite high up the pecking order who have also been questioned and no action taken.
We have never asked anyone what they do for a living on here, although we have been asked but we simply say we do not discuss our work on here.
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It wouldn't bother me personally, but it may be worth checking your contract as, although you're entitled to a sex life, some of these professions require a personal level of "etiquette" (I assume so as to not tarnish the school's reputation if you're seen out pissed by students/parents or shagging the local homeless guy down an ally way or what ever else common society may look down on).
So, yeah, as others have said, maybe keep face pics private. x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The role of teacher is a regulated profession with which they have to meet certain professional and personal standards, pretty sure swinging would be considered not to standard.
This was on the news today, about police being investigated for abusing social networking sites
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-28844500
9% of these investigations ended up with the policeperson in question resigning.
It is easy for a person not in that profession who is a swinger to say "yeah its up to you", but as a professional who is answerable for your conduct you will be judged by your professional peers and the rest of society.
I made this choice when I was training to be one of those in a registered profession. I like my alternative lifestyle and did not want my personal lifestyle dragged into the public forum.
"
This is what worries me. It would only take a comment to my boss and I could potentially lose my entire career. I am aware that anything I post on social media sites can affect my position and even with fb I keep everything private, don't accept friend invites from parents etc. This is more private and the risks are minimal due to not having my real name or face pics on my profile. When talking to people I make sure the risk of them bumping into me at work is minimal before sending face pics etc. However, I can't just ask the question of where their child goes to school which leaves me open to a potential awkward situation.
I would like to think everyone shared the same opinion of we're all on this for the same thing so it wouldn't matter but real life is rarely that straight forward lol |
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If they message you on here or you suspect a profile, instant block. Don't have any face pictures on here that show you in a compromising position. Have sexy photo's with face and anything distinguishable blurred and face pics that are none erotic. Assume every pic you put on here is instantly public wether you list it as public or not.
If they ask you in the outside world, look offended/embarrassed and deny everything.
They can suspect but if no one can prove anything then there's no risk.
Make it so that the very best they have is your word against theirs and be careful. Oh and don't meet locally lol.
Wish we were closer we can be really really discreet   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just by looking at the one of the teaching unions websites:
"Union executive members claim the code has left teachers “subject to intense scrutiny”.
“It is being held over teachers’ heads like a giant sword of Damocles and is having a huge impact on their private lives,” said Ron Clooney, NASUWT executive member for the south of England.
“Unscrupulous employers are hiding behind it when they want to get rid of a teacher. They are using it to try to add gravitas to allegations.”
The code of conduct was introduced in October 2009, prompting concerns that it would “intrude” into teachers’ private lives. It says teachers should display “standards of behaviour both inside and outside school that are appropriate given their membership of an important and responsible profession”.
The NASUWT said there had been a surge in disciplinary hearings and informal action since the code was brought in. Cases include teachers being disciplined for putting pictures on Facebook of them when d*unk or wearing revealing clothes.
One teacher couple who used “fetish clothing” outside of work were told they were not upholding the “moral standards” of the school, according to the union.
NASUWT executive member Mick Lyons, who serves on the GTC council, said: “It has become common for heads to trawl through the internet and use what they find to discipline teachers. Other teachers are venting their spleen about their jobs on the internet and this is rebounding on them.”
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"I am interested to know how parents would feel if they recognised their child's teacher/teaching assistant from here?
I haven't worried about it before as I didn't work locally but now I'm starting a new job I'm nervous about arranging any meets just in case.
"
I'm in the same profession and it did worry me that I may bump into parents on here but to avoid that situation, I try meeting people that aren't local to the area. A colleague (teacher) is also on here and does the same thing, also keep face pics private and ask to see theirs first which is what I do just in case I do recognise them and can block/avoid them in future...yes the majority of people are on here for the same reasons BUT can you really trust strangers that could potentially tell other parents and share your private life at work? I think not! Ps I've fucked my colleague on many occasions and nobody at work has a clue that she is bi! Asking about which school potential meets children go to could raise some eyebrows (which you really do not want as it could be seen as something completely different!)...hope that helps and happy swinging! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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At the very least Leveson and the debacle of the News of The World has taught us what the public loves to do is have a mooch around a private individuals and judge it six ways to Sunday.
Once its in the public domain, you cant control how it is used and for what purposes. Who is on your friends list? How about that person you refused to sleep with, what will they do with your info? What if a colleague is on here, what will they do?
Then think about what a panel of professionals will do with your photos? Those cock shots don't look so great now.
Its naive to say "don't worry about it, its your private life".
What you should be saying is, delete your profile and start again. Change your online area, change your online age, have no face photos, have no photos on there you are bothered about people seeing. Do not invite people to your house. Do not post questions like this online? If you need information, post it from another account.
Think about is as I have the right to walk around my house naked, means I have to make sure no one can see into my house or I get arrested for outraging public decency. Your swinging life must be conducted the same way, make sure no one can see it that you do not want to |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks guys, it's actually good to hear I'm not just being paranoid and should be concerned. I do take all the precautions that have been suggested. Will just have to wait and see if I recognise anyone when I start my new job lol. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just to stress my point, there is currently another thread about a lady who is upset because someone on her friends list has shown her private photos to someone living in her hometown
http://www.fabswingers.com/forum/lounge/302139 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Be very very careful. Of course there are jobs that could be affected. Saying it wouldn't be an issue is naive. "
It's called bringing the profession into disrepute. I would advise caution and common sense, but at the same time wouldn't let it stop me from doing as I wish. |
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"Just to stress my point, there is currently another thread about a lady who is upset because someone on her friends list has shown her private photos to someone living in her hometown
http://www.fabswingers.com/forum/lounge/302139"
As we said, instantly public. Once it's on here it's out of your control. |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Be very very careful. Of course there are jobs that could be affected. Saying it wouldn't be an issue is naive.
It's called bringing the profession into disrepute. I would advise caution and common sense, but at the same time wouldn't let it stop me from doing as I wish. "
Maintain plausible deniability and use common sense. Don't plaster your face on your profile - public or friends only (use private for face pics and keep them 100% vanilla), don't use your real age or exact location.
It's not rocket science to maintain discretion. There are plenty of careers where this would be frowned upon. Those that get into trouble have usually brought it upon themselves through carelessness rather than being reported - anyone remember the swinging policeman that posted pics of himself in uniform on a meet in his squad car - with someone who was an undercover reporter! Not clever!!
Should the worst happen so long as you can't be identified via your profile or photos taken by yourself/others - it's a case of your word against somebody else's. As I said - plausible deniability.
A |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not a problem. Swinging is not illegal so peoples occupations should not come into it."
No but there are professional bodies which can 'strike off' your registration if you are seen to be bringing the profession into disrepute. The teacher disciplined for bikini photos on Facebook for example.
Just be very careful what you make public - nothing that could identify you and you'll be fine. You're entitled to a private life. |
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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago
yumsville |
"I am interested to know how parents would feel if they recognised their child's teacher/teaching assistant from here?
I haven't worried about it before as I didn't work locally but now I'm starting a new job I'm nervous about arranging any meets just in case.
"
only way to combat it, is to not meet locally surely? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hi,
This has happened to a teacher at my sons school.
A parent saw his profile on another adult site, it was printed off and brought to attention of Head of school. He was sacked within days.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd tread very carefully if I was you. Keep as much private as possible, ask for a picture 1st & maybe consider meeting further afield only.
I'm a parent and whilst this scenario wouldn't freak me out there's a lot of naive people out there that it would!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Don't put any photos on your profile by which you could be identified.
Only send face pics of you clothed and if you're really cautious don't send them via Fab (as the site watermarks them).
Keep your private affairs private and then everything is deniable and strictly your own business.
And ignore any idiot that moans about your choice to respect your own privacy. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks again guys, some really good advice given. Glad to know I'm not worrying over nothing, although it's nice to see that most people wouldn't mind.
Just got to be even more careful than before now.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks again guys, some really good advice given. Glad to know I'm not worrying over nothing, although it's nice to see that most people wouldn't mind.
Just got to be even more careful than before now.
"
Your asking if swingers mind you being a swinger...  |
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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago
MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire) |
For me, if I was in a restricted career, I'd be off fab. Job is way more important than swinging.
If you were unfortunate enough to get found out and sacked for it, thats going to follow you around for a long, long time and possibly end your whole career... still seem worth it for a random meet? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am interested to know how parents would feel if they recognised their child's teacher/teaching assistant from here?
I haven't worried about it before as I didn't work locally but now I'm starting a new job I'm nervous about arranging any meets just in case.
only way to combat it, is to not meet locally surely?"
Exactly why we meet out of county and no problems for us |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's no problem at all,provided you keep swinging activities completely out of work environment.it's like saying gynaecologists shouldn't have sex coz of their profession. whoever sees you in swinging clubs also visit for same purpose. Furthermore you can only get into trouble,if you access adult contents on work computers or swing with work uniforms on,which is stupidity,seen a few blokes dogging. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We don't see it as a problem provided it is kept seperate from your work.
We did report a profile once because the user name was something like 'pervy teacher' and they had a status up saying about something sexual with a student of theirs.
The profile had been removed within about ten minutes.
They are perverts and hopefully the site admin reported their details and ip address to the police! |
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It is very possible to be here and fill ya boots without others having to know very much about you at all. Either here or in person . No need to discuss jobs, family , how much you earn , what colour ya front room carpet is or who ya bank with, and such like... But if on the other hand you do freely then yes, is the possibility others local will suss who you are, and know what floats ya boat, and alsorts you would rather em not know. Which in turn could cause problems with career etc etc .... In theory yes.
Simple really, just tell others what you want them to know and naff all eles... I cringe at times what info some disclose on here OP .... Just remember all you put on here or disclose, is great info if in the wrong hands  we have nothing to hide ... But our business is ours for sure ..... |
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Some thoughts - beside the obvious of hiding face pics.
Set your location as somewhere slightly different from where you are.
Don't message/respond to people who are located too near to where you actually live.
Meet at clubs - and preferably ones a distance from home. The issue from an employment standpoint would be that what you do on Fabs is public. That is less so when you get into private messages and even less so when you are in clubs behind closed doors.
There are a number of professions which have conduct type regulations which can cover your private life. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm more than capable of doing my job role whether I indulge on this site or not, I have no reason to believe a teacher couldn't either.
Get the impression it's paedageddon again, with no actual danger to the children. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm more than capable of doing my job role whether I indulge on this site or not, I have no reason to believe a teacher couldn't either.
Get the impression it's paedageddon again, with no actual danger to the children. "
There is no "paedageddon", a teacher is supposed to be a pillar of the community. Their private and public lives are supposed to reflect this.
They are bound to this by a code of ethics and are censored by a board of their professional peers. That is what a teacher signs up to when they take on that professional identity.
Their ability to do the job means jack, its when they bring the profession into disrepute |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am interested to know how parents would feel if they recognised their child's teacher/teaching assistant from here?
I haven't worried about it before as I didn't work locally but now I'm starting a new job I'm nervous about arranging any meets just in case.
"
.
As a parent myself I'm on here and i work in a field with a statutory background. Id keep your pictures private as there are some people who'd like nothing more than to put your business all over the place, that has happened to a teacher i know on another dating site. Have fun but be cautious to. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm more than capable of doing my job role whether I indulge on this site or not, I have no reason to believe a teacher couldn't either.
Get the impression it's paedageddon again, with no actual danger to the children.
There is no "paedageddon", a teacher is supposed to be a pillar of the community. Their private and public lives are supposed to reflect this.
They are bound to this by a code of ethics and are censored by a board of their professional peers. That is what a teacher signs up to when they take on that professional identity.
Their ability to do the job means jack, its when they bring the profession into disrepute "
Codswallop - could you point me to the 'code of ethics'? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm more than capable of doing my job role whether I indulge on this site or not, I have no reason to believe a teacher couldn't either.
Get the impression it's paedageddon again, with no actual danger to the children.
There is no "paedageddon", a teacher is supposed to be a pillar of the community. Their private and public lives are supposed to reflect this.
They are bound to this by a code of ethics and are censored by a board of their professional peers. That is what a teacher signs up to when they take on that professional identity.
Their ability to do the job means jack, its when they bring the profession into disrepute
Codswallop - could you point me to the 'code of ethics'?"
It's the same with many employers, not just teachers. If the individual brings the company into disrepute they can be sacked for breach of contract.
It includes sites such as this and posting unsuitable photo's/ comments etc on Facebook etc. |
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By *umpkinMan
over a year ago
near the sounds of the wimborne quarter jack! |
I work for the Local Authority working in school grounds. I visit multiple school sites across the age spetrum of students. I was based at a depot in the grounds of one comprehensive school and there was a sports centre across the car park from my depot. The sports centre had weekly bookings from a naturist club that I would have loved to go to but there was no way I was going to attend, not because of the adults that may have seen me there but being open to the public it only needed some savvy kid to recognise me and shop that "pervy bloke who does our grounds going in with the nudies".
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Wouldn't personally bother us one iota although we wouldn't meet ya!! However on a more serious note, be very careful as the nanny state that is Britain would treat you as the worse kind of human being possible. Beware info you send or give or ensure you refrain from meets that are too 'local'. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm more than capable of doing my job role whether I indulge on this site or not, I have no reason to believe a teacher couldn't either.
Get the impression it's paedageddon again, with no actual danger to the children.
There is no "paedageddon", a teacher is supposed to be a pillar of the community. Their private and public lives are supposed to reflect this.
They are bound to this by a code of ethics and are censored by a board of their professional peers. That is what a teacher signs up to when they take on that professional identity.
Their ability to do the job means jack, its when they bring the profession into disrepute
Codswallop - could you point me to the 'code of ethics'?
It's the same with many employers, not just teachers. If the individual brings the company into disrepute they can be sacked for breach of contract.
It includes sites such as this and posting unsuitable photo's/ comments etc on Facebook etc."
Of course. Also known as common sense. My question was to do with the code of ethics, censored by a board of professional peers blather.
The closest thing there was to that, was scrapped the moment Michael Gove stepped into his former office.
If you're having sex in private, you should be on safe ground. If you're uploading hardcore films and posing naked online you probably won't be. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Personally I would block them and forget I ever saw it. Not very clever of them to be so easily identified from their profile page though.
Some professions where they have access to privileged information would be considered a blackmail risk if they were found out.
Other professions have ethics and reputational issues.
These people need to be particularly careful not to be recognisable. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Everyone is entitled to a private life, however, some people wouldn't take too kindly to their childs teaching assistant being on here and actively swinging, they would be the type of person who complains about everything of course. Tricky situation for you OP, especially as you live in a rural area, so going on previous advice here, I wouldn't be showing my face pics anywhere here, just in case, but also bear in mind swinging isn't illegal yet, if the closed minded NIMBY mob find you there may be grief ahead !! good luck though. |
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"I am interested to know how parents would feel if they recognised their child's teacher/teaching assistant from here?
I haven't worried about it before as I didn't work locally but now I'm starting a new job I'm nervous about arranging any meets just in case.
I'm in the same profession and it did worry me that I may bump into parents on here but to avoid that situation, I try meeting people that aren't local to the area. A colleague (teacher) is also on here and does the same thing, also keep face pics private and ask to see theirs first which is what I do just in case I do recognise them and can block/avoid them in future...yes the majority of people are on here for the same reasons BUT can you really trust strangers that could potentially tell other parents and share your private life at work? I think not! Ps I've fucked my colleague on many occasions and nobody at work has a clue that she is bi! Asking about which school potential meets children go to could raise some eyebrows (which you really do not want as it could be seen as something completely different!)...hope that helps and happy swinging!"
This is what we do. Sometimes you just have to pass up the chance for meeting someone who sounds like a perfect match tho and it's tough....... But the alternative of being outted at work isn't worth the risk!  |
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Irrespective of the question, as soon as pictures go on the Internet, even if they are for "friends" only, they are in the public domain.
That needs to be thought about in the long term, as 99% of people are great, but there is always the negative element.
It shouldn't impact your job role at all, though. It is your private life, nobody else's. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The role of teacher is a regulated profession with which they have to meet certain professional and personal standards, pretty sure swinging would be considered not to standard.
This was on the news today, about police being investigated for abusing social networking sites
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-28844500
9% of these investigations ended up with the policeperson in question resigning.
"
Not investigated or resigned for using social media.....but for mis-using it and sending racist, sexist and homophobic (private) messages etc.
Also using it to entrap people or to fabricate stuff against people.
So not really relevant to a perfectly legal use of a site to meet like minded individuals
(Spoken as a now ex teacher) |
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