FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > accompany to a club. Yes/No??
accompany to a club. Yes/No??
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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what are people's feelings about accompanying a new swinger to a club as I want to start attending them but would feel strange walking in by myself. Would like to go for a drink or 2 first to get onto talking terms and then hopefully attend a club together |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There's a couple of angles,
Some would say that a single guy looking to be accompanied just wants to get in cheaper then ditch his 'date'
Others would say if you're forward enough to be on a swinging site then you should be ok to go into a swingers club by yourself. It's full of people looking for the same thing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hardest part is walking through the door. Once in and settled you will forget what you were worried about.
Now if you were a single lady people would be queuing up to accompany you n strings. Strange old world the swingers world |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"what are people's feelings about accompanying a new swinger to a club as I want to start attending them but would feel strange walking in by myself. Would like to go for a drink or 2 first to get onto talking terms and then hopefully attend a club together "
Why feel strange - you're on a swinging site that's what it's all about. Everybody goes to the club for same thing whether it's just a social or for fun. If you need your hand holding then maybe this is not for you!!!! |
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By *itSamCouple
over a year ago
Birmingham |
Shy people can always pretend you like karaoke and come to the karaoke we are holding at xtasia this Saturday (25th Oct 2014) see our profile...
Then if you feel shy just tell People "we are only here for the karaoke" lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just do what everyone else had to do for the first visit , take the plunge and go on your own, mingle, be chatty and friendly and most of all don't be pushy. You will wonder what all the fuss was about in being nervous. Most club members will go out of their way to help you feel at ease as long as you are decent. If you are unable to do this then maybe swinging is not for you.Hope this helps.  |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
i was going to say.... your a big boy now... do what most single guys do and walk thru those doors by yourself....
if everyone had to wait for people to hold their hand, the majority of us would still be waiting!
seriously though... clubs are really no different to you going into a pub or meeting people socially..... if you are not a social person then to be honest clubs are probably not for you anyway...
so just put on the big boy pants and go!!!  |
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There seems to be a lot of negativity about the ops question which seems unfair.
The first time we (as a couple) went to a club we went with a friend as we were both extremely nervous.
Yes, after 20 minutes we felt at home, but first time nerves happen and personally we think its better to go with someone if possible.
Can't see anywhere in the ops post about wanting to get in cheaper by going with someone!!! |
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But you went with someone you already knew
The problem with taking a stranger is that you are going to be looked at a bit old fashioned if they get struck by 'kid in a sweetshop' or 'wanky man' syndrome and make an arse of themselves. |
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By *rsIdiotWoman
over a year ago
Bedworth |
Really op?
I'm a big grown up girl, managed to walk through the doors all by myself for the first time.
Would I accompany a guy who is too nervous to go alone on their first visit? Not a chance! I'd tell him to grow a pair |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Really op?
I'm a big grown up girl, managed to walk through the doors all by myself for the first time.
Would I accompany a guy who is too nervous to go alone on their first visit? Not a chance! I'd tell him to grow a pair"
 |
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"what are people's feelings about accompanying a new swinger to a club as I want to start attending them but would feel strange walking in by myself. Would like to go for a drink or 2 first to get onto talking terms and then hopefully attend a club together "
I have to agree with the previous posters that if your not confident enough to do it, then maybe it's not for you.
Don't get me wrong everyone had a first time and it was nerve racking as hell. But my question is why would you feel strange? What exactly do think happens at clubs?
Regardless of what you may think it's not like walking into the porn version of the Slaughtered Lamb! - everyone is fucking and as you enter it all goes quiet, and some bloke accidentally cums in the eye of a t-girl and stares at you with the words "you made me miss..."
And if it is, walk out... Or join in, whatever, be a man! *-
D |
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"But you went with someone you already knew
The problem with taking a stranger is that you are going to be looked at a bit old fashioned if they get struck by 'kid in a sweetshop' or 'wanky man' syndrome and make an arse of themselves."
To be fair to the op he did say he'd like to get to know someone and go for a drink or 2 first.
Personally I don't think its that unreasonable a request, especially if it's with someone who is also nervous about going to a club on their own too!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would never accompany a single male to a club. I have in the past, and it was even someone who I knew well, however you can never tell how people will react. They act like a total dick and people think that you are a couple so you must be the same. Never again. Then you get those who are trying to use you as a groupon voucher - just so they can get in cheap. Jog on!!
I go to clubs alone. If you doubt you can do it then it may not be for you |
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All this talk about man up and grow a pair is extremely harsh OP your not the only one to feel that way about attending a club solo for the first time I feel the same way and all this talk from the obvious regulars doesn't help at all  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"All this talk about man up and grow a pair is extremely harsh OP your not the only one to feel that way about attending a club solo for the first time I feel the same way and all this talk from the obvious regulars doesn't help at all "
It may sound harsh but our nights are for us, and I know it sounds selfish we are there for our own enjoyment not others, if we've met people previously and know them but want there first time at a club we would happily take them, but clubs aren't for everyone and we would feel responsible for anyone we took and potentially it could ruin our evening for someone we don't even know |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As usual the helpful brigade are out in force. Which begs the question, are these the type of people you would want to meet at a club?
"
The OP has asked a question . Isn't that the point of the forums? He wants to know what people think. Whether that effects any decision he makes is up to him. As always some just like to have a sly little dig. Sad! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As usual the helpful brigade are out in force. Which begs the question, are these the type of people you would want to meet at a club?
The OP has asked a question . Isn't that the point of the forums? He wants to know what people think. Whether that effects any decision he makes is up to him. As always some just like to have a sly little dig. Sad!"
 |
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I can totally understand you not wanting to go on your own the first time. I would of been exactly the same. Havin been a few times now if I lived near enough I would happily go alone.
I can also understand others being reserved at taking someone they don't know.
Best advice I can give is look out for an organised social at a club near you and go then, they often have lots of newbies and are a much better way of texting chatting in a more relaxed way than attending with someone else on a normal night. Some even have a social pre party in a bar nearby or the hotel bar so you can chat to a few people before the actual event |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"All this talk about man up and grow a pair is extremely harsh OP your not the only one to feel that way about attending a club solo for the first time I feel the same way and all this talk from the obvious regulars doesn't help at all "
well you can wait on someone else... or you can just go... what do you think most people did????
you can wait..... you'll probably be waiting a long time....... |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"All this talk about man up and grow a pair is extremely harsh OP your not the only one to feel that way about attending a club solo for the first time I feel the same way and all this talk from the obvious regulars doesn't help at all "
The 'obvious regulars' were first time clubbers at one point too!
And I suspect 99% went without a hand to hold.
I know I did.
A |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"As usual the helpful brigade are out in force. Which begs the question, are these the type of people you would want to meet at a club?
"
and your helpful advice is to do..................
see..the thing is "most" of the people who have said "just go!" are those who have been to clubs......
they aren't some extra special place with extra special rules and you have to know secret handshakes, roll your left trouser up and say the magic words in the right order......
they are for the most part akin to pubs and nightclubs.... if people don't go to those by themselves and you can't talk to people in a normal manner... then yep, clubs aren't probably for you...
if they are... then just talk to people in a normal manner.....
you build the fear of the unknown into almost self-fulfilling paranoia.... |
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"Makes me laugh when single women comment saying i went on my own. Good for you but its a different ball game for single guys....  "
Yeah Definately, from what I understood before I went was if you were a single guy you might get ignored. A single fem might have a trail of naked guys following her around wanking furiously. That's not what happens at all but it made me nervous enough to still be considering cancelling 5 minutes before my lift turns up!! Lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Makes me laugh when single women comment saying i went on my own. Good for you but its a different ball game for single guys.... "
So single women dont feel nervous?? The fear of the unknown doesn't effect single women? Are people gonna ignore them? Jump on them? What the hell do i wear? Yeh it's real easy for women. It takes guts for anyone to go alone , male or female. But some people just aren't cut out for it. |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
Its always nice to pal up at a club so you have someone to chat to. Get yourself to the Greedy Girl party at Connections in Blackpool, 1st November. Me and Blondecaz will be there and we can always do with more victims...errr...nice me to chat to. |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"Its always nice to pal up at a club so you have someone to chat to. Get yourself to the Greedy Girl party at Connections in Blackpool, 1st November. Me and Blondecaz will be there and we can always do with more victims...errr...nice me to chat to. "
Nice men, although me is nice too. |
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"Makes me laugh when single women comment saying i went on my own. Good for you but its a different ball game for single guys.... "
Ironically this - ^^^^^^^^ makes me laugh.
I agree it's different but it must be 100 times worse for a single female.
How in any universe could it be worse for a single guy?
D |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
The number of people who are adult enough to look to meet strangers for sex via the internet but not adult enough to enter a club designed to offer the same result never ceases to amaze me.
A |
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"All this talk about man up and grow a pair is extremely harsh OP your not the only one to feel that way about attending a club solo for the first time I feel the same way and all this talk from the obvious regulars doesn't help at all
well you can wait on someone else... or you can just go... what do you think most people did????
you can wait..... you'll probably be waiting a long time......."
Firstly you assume I am waiting for somebody I never said that was the case I just the agree with the OP about having reservations about attending solo for the first time and secondly I have no idea what others did some went as a couple others meet friends there, some have been as part of a couple so know what to expect so going solo is not an issue now etc.... |
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"All this talk about man up and grow a pair is extremely harsh OP your not the only one to feel that way about attending a club solo for the first time I feel the same way and all this talk from the obvious regulars doesn't help at all
The 'obvious regulars' were first time clubbers at one point too!
And I suspect 99% went without a hand to hold.
I know I did.
A"
why do people throw out ridiculous statistics that can not be backed up and your part of a couple so I suspect you held each others hand
Everybody is different not everyone is like you |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"The number of people who are adult enough to look to meet strangers for sex via the internet but not adult enough to enter a club designed to offer the same result never ceases to amaze me.
A"
which is the thing that i always point out...
adult enough to come onto the site....
adult enough to meet one on one.... or meet privately...
but yet not adult enough to meet a group of people and have to have a handholder to go thru the doors of a club....... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Shy people can always pretend you like karaoke and come to the karaoke we are holding at xtasia this Saturday (25th Oct 2014) see our profile...
Then if you feel shy just tell People "we are only here for the karaoke" lol"
IM SHY  |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"All this talk about man up and grow a pair is extremely harsh OP your not the only one to feel that way about attending a club solo for the first time I feel the same way and all this talk from the obvious regulars doesn't help at all
The 'obvious regulars' were first time clubbers at one point too!
And I suspect 99% went without a hand to hold.
I know I did.
A
why do people throw out ridiculous statistics that can not be backed up and your part of a couple so I suspect you held each others hand
Everybody is different not everyone is like you "
I went to my first club in 2006. Alone. And my second. And third.
I didn't meet Fox until 2013.
Yes everyone is different. But as I said - if you're adult enough to be on a site like this you're adult enough to walk into a club alone.
A |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Makes me laugh when single women comment saying i went on my own. Good for you but its a different ball game for single guys....
Ironically this - ^^^^^^^^ makes me laugh.
I agree it's different but it must be 100 times worse for a single female.
How in any universe could it be worse for a single guy?
D"
Couples that are up there own arses for one |
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"All this talk about man up and grow a pair is extremely harsh OP your not the only one to feel that way about attending a club solo for the first time I feel the same way and all this talk from the obvious regulars doesn't help at all
The 'obvious regulars' were first time clubbers at one point too!
And I suspect 99% went without a hand to hold.
I know I did.
A
why do people throw out ridiculous statistics that can not be backed up and your part of a couple so I suspect you held each others hand
Everybody is different not everyone is like you
I went to my first club in 2006. Alone. And my second. And third.
I didn't meet Fox until 2013.
Yes everyone is different. But as I said - if you're adult enough to be on a site like this you're adult enough to walk into a club alone.
A"
and like I said already everybody is different and all this your adult enough talk is just patronising in my opinion |
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"The number of people who are adult enough to look to meet strangers for sex via the internet but not adult enough to enter a club designed to offer the same result never ceases to amaze me.
A
which is the thing that i always point out...
adult enough to come onto the site....
adult enough to meet one on one.... or meet privately...
but yet not adult enough to meet a group of people and have to have a handholder to go thru the doors of a club......."
From a personal point of view chatting online and meeting someone for a drink then maybe a shag (like I've done on regular nights out as well as on here) is no where near as scary a thought as walking into a swingers club. I think also that people have a preconceived idea of what a club will be like. I know I thought that it would be that you just walk into a club full of naked people shagging all over the place. I was a nervous wreck I'm sure obi remembers it well lol.
Once you've been and know that it's not like that and it's pretty chilled etc it's ok. But with the bashing a lot of single guys get on here and people always on about them at clubs I can see why they would have reservations. Yeah the best thing to do is just bite the bullet and get on with it for sure. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Makes me laugh when single women comment saying i went on my own. Good for you but its a different ball game for single guys....
So single women dont feel nervous?? The fear of the unknown doesn't effect single women? Are people gonna ignore them? Jump on them? What the hell do i wear? Yeh it's real easy for women. It takes guts for anyone to go alone , male or female. But some people just aren't cut out for it. "
singles ladies dont get the bad rep that alot of single guys get because of a few that abuse club rules etc. If a guy went and complained that a single girl made a move on him that he didnt want he would be laughed at. Or approched a couple to chat and as usual the guy of the couple takes offense. Doubt single ladys would be told to feck off or be laughed at if a guy makes a unwelcomed pass at them by management |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"
From a personal point of view chatting online and meeting someone for a drink then maybe a shag (like I've done on regular nights out as well as on here) is no where near as scary a thought as walking into a swingers club. I think also that people have a preconceived idea of what a club will be like. I know I thought that it would be that you just walk into a club full of naked people shagging all over the place. I was a nervous wreck I'm sure obi remembers it well lol.
Once you've been and know that it's not like that and it's pretty chilled etc it's ok. But with the bashing a lot of single guys get on here and people always on about them at clubs I can see why they would have reservations. Yeah the best thing to do is just bite the bullet and get on with it for sure. "
this is the point that people who have been to clubs are trying to tell people... and "some" who haven't been to clubs aren't listening.... they are nowhere near as scary as people seem to think..... and the fear of the unknown is a lot worse than when you actually step thru those doors...... the paranoia and the preconceived notions in the thread is bigger than anything you will actually experience in a club
any club worth its salt will show you around... and even if it just the smoking areas.... smoking area's around the world are the same, people will just chat!!!! |
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By *rsIdiotWoman
over a year ago
Bedworth |
" I just the agree with the OP about having reservations about attending solo for the first time and secondly I have no idea what others did some went as a couple others meet friends there, some have been as part of a couple so know what to expect so going solo is not an issue now etc.... "
We all have reservations about going for the first time, it took me six weeks of thinking about it before I actually went! I fully understand about fear of the unknown but c'mon, if a single girl can make the effort and even use public transport to get there and back, then surely a guy doesn't need someone to hold his hand |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I went with a good friend the first time. Subsequently I have been with friends and alone. It is nice to have someone to go with however it can lead to you spending the whole evening together and not chatting much to others. All depends what your intentions are.
Recent experiences have convinced me never to go with someone I don't know very well. I would rather go alone. |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"All this talk about man up and grow a pair is extremely harsh OP your not the only one to feel that way about attending a club solo for the first time I feel the same way and all this talk from the obvious regulars doesn't help at all
The 'obvious regulars' were first time clubbers at one point too!
And I suspect 99% went without a hand to hold.
I know I did.
A
why do people throw out ridiculous statistics that can not be backed up and your part of a couple so I suspect you held each others hand
Everybody is different not everyone is like you
I went to my first club in 2006. Alone. And my second. And third.
I didn't meet Fox until 2013.
Yes everyone is different. But as I said - if you're adult enough to be on a site like this you're adult enough to walk into a club alone.
A
and like I said already everybody is different and all this your adult enough talk is just patronising in my opinion "
It may seem patronising to you. To others it's common sense.
People get nervous going on meets. It's natural. Even after years in the lifestyle.
People get nervous sending messages. You never know how it will be received.
People get nervous doing anything that they've not done before. A new sexual activity, a job interview, meeting new people - be they partners family, co workers or just a customer at work.
But so people stop doing any of these activities? No.
At some point they bite the bullet, step out of their comfort zone and into the unknown.
As far as I'm aware nobody has ever died walking into a club. Nobody has ever walked in and vanished, never to be seen again. If you really can't handle going by yourself then looking for someone to hold your hand will rarely result in a rush of willing applicants.
So why not put your name down for a social. You'll be able to see who else is going. You'll be able to drop them a 'hi' before the date. You may even be able to swap face pics so you can seek each other out and introduce yourselves.
It's not rocket science. There are events held all over the country week in week out.
Many attended by first time club goers. All of whom manage to walk through those doors.
A |
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"As usual the helpful brigade are out in force. Which begs the question, are these the type of people you would want to meet at a club?
and your helpful advice is to do..................
see..the thing is "most" of the people who have said "just go!" are those who have been to clubs......
they aren't some extra special place with extra special rules and you have to know secret handshakes, roll your left trouser up and say the magic words in the right order......
they are for the most part akivn to pubs and nightclubs.... if people don't go to those by themselves and you can't talk to people in a normal manner... then yep, clubs aren't probably for you...
if they are... then just talk to people in a normal manner.....
you build the fear of the unknown linto almost self-fulfilling paranoia...."
Not ask the cliche......
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"All this talk about man up and grow a pair is extremely harsh OP your not the only one to feel that way about attending a club solo for the first time I feel the same way and all this talk from the obvious regulars doesn't help at all
The 'obvious regulars' were first time clubbers at one point too!
And I suspect 99% went without a hand to hold.
I know I did.
A
why do people throw out ridiculous statistics that can not be backed up and your part of a couple so I suspect you held each others hand
Everybody is different not everyone is like you
I went to my first club in 2006. Alone. And my second. And third.
I didn't meet Fox until 2013.
Yes everyone is different. But as I said - if you're adult enough to be on a site like this you're adult enough to walk into a club alone.
A
and like I said already everybody is different and all this your adult enough talk is just patronising in my opinion
It may seem patronising to you. To others it's common sense.
People get nervous going on meets. It's natural. Even after years in the lifestyle.
People get nervous sending messages. You never know how it will be received.
People get nervous doing anything that they've not done before. A new sexual activity, a job interview, meeting new people - be they partners family, co workers or just a customer at work.
But so people stop doing any of these activities? No.
At some point they bite the bullet, step out of their comfort zone and into the unknown.
As far as I'm aware nobody has ever died walking into a club. Nobody has ever walked in and vanished, never to be seen again. If you really can't handle going by yourself then looking for someone to hold your hand will rarely result in a rush of willing applicants.
So why not put your name down for a social. You'll be able to see who else is going. You'll be able to drop them a 'hi' before the date. You may even be able to swap face pics so you can seek each other out and introduce yourselves.
It's not rocket science. There are events held all over the country week in week out.
Many attended by first time club goers. All of whom manage to walk through those doors.
A "
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"As usual the helpful brigade are out in force. Which begs the question, are these the type of people you would want to meet at a club?
The OP has asked a question . Isn't that the point of the forums? He wants to know what people think. Whether that effects any decision he makes is up to him. As always some just like to have a sly little dig. Sad!"
In actual fact I'm anything but sad today....it's been a cracking day thankyou
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"Makes me laugh when single women comment saying i went on my own. Good for you but its a different ball game for single guys....
So single women dont feel nervous?? The fear of the unknown doesn't effect single women? Are people gonna ignore them? Jump on them? What the hell do i wear? Yeh it's real easy for women. It takes guts for anyone to go alone , male or female. But some people just aren't cut out for it. singles ladies dont get the bad rep that alot of single guys get because of a few that abuse club rules etc. If a guy went and complained that a single girl made a move on him that he didnt want he would be laughed at. Or approched a couple to chat and as usual the guy of the couple takes offense. Doubt single ladys would be told to feck off or be laughed at if a guy makes a unwelcomed pass at them by management "
Really? In which club have observed this? What happened when you reported it? Or again, is this just what you imagine goes on in clubs?
If your not basing this on your own experiences your not helping as Fabio pointed out. As a lot of people have said, myself included, clubs are not what a lot of people imagine them to be.
As for your reply to couples being up their own arses, again, did you report them? If you're referring to us, please accept this as my calm and considered response ------
D |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"All this talk about man up and grow a pair is extremely harsh OP your not the only one to feel that way about attending a club solo for the first time I feel the same way and all this talk from the obvious regulars doesn't help at all
well you can wait on someone else... or you can just go... what do you think most people did????
you can wait..... you'll probably be waiting a long time.......
Firstly you assume I am waiting for somebody I never said that was the case I just the agree with the OP about having reservations about attending solo for the first time and secondly I have no idea what others did some went as a couple others meet friends there, some have been as part of a couple so know what to expect so going solo is not an issue now etc.... "
i agree though I do go to clubs alone I only go to clubs I'm familiar with, when I started going to clubs I was married so when we split and I kept going I already knew a few club and some people so going alone was not an issue, even so I would never go to a club I had neve been to before alone, I find the idea of walking into a new place filled with new people alone quite daunting |
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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago
near kings lynn |
"Makes me laugh when single women comment saying i went on my own. Good for you but its a different ball game for single guys.... "
In a lot of ways it isn't. I have been to clubs on a couples and single f's night. I couldn't seem to hold eye contact with people. The ladies clearly weren't into me that night and that meant to guys weren't too. It was a very couply evening. The owner of the club chatted with me as I wanted to check I hadn't got spinach in my teeth. He confirmed I look great and he grumbled wondering why couples want single bi fems but they weren't willing to interact with me.
Yes I did speak to them before anyone asks. I had been attending alone for some time. It just wasn't happening that night. I tried various tricks of my trade but nothing worked. I felt like a lemon. I felt Un wanted and invisible that night. I left early in the end.
Not sure how that was different than how single guys have it.
Yes I do understand that there may have only been me and maybe a few other single fems that night so not quite the same as a single guy night when you may have 10 guys there.
I still tried my best. I felt uncomfortable and very single that night. The owner knew me well as confirmed I looked hot that night but it just wasn't happening. I did go back another night and have carried on attending mostly alone for years now. |
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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago
hiding from cock pics. |
I club alot as a single and I also have nights where I just felt realy out of place.
I wouldn't accompany someone to a club though without a social and the potential that we would make magic.
I think thstvwould feel awkward too. |
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" I just the agree with the OP about having reservations about attending solo for the first time and secondly I have no idea what others did some went as a couple others meet friends there, some have been as part of a couple so know what to expect so going solo is not an issue now etc....
We all have reservations about going for the first time, it took me six weeks of thinking about it before I actually went! I fully understand about fear of the unknown but c'mon, if a single girl can make the effort and even use public transport to get there and back, then surely a guy doesn't need someone to hold his hand"
there are some men and women that are comfortable with going solo for the first time and there are some men and women not happy going solo or have reservations about going solo each to there own but all this man up/grow a pair talk is unhelpful that is the point I was trying to make |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
wow this thread really has took off and looks as if some people have some really strong views on it.
Let me clear up a couple of points people seem to be picking up on. Firstly this needing my hand held / not cut out for it. I never once said I wouldn't attend a club alone I just think it would be a much nicer experience if you knew one or maybe more people beforehand is that such a strange concept??
I know others mentioned it must be harder for single males / single females and to be honest both sets have their own drawbacks. Males get tarnished with the bad reputations of others and females have the idea that as someone mentioned earlier they will have trails of men following them around.
I know both of these are misconceived ideas but they are an idea many people have which is why I asked the question.
Thank you to the people with constructive ideas such as socials beforehand and if you ever get the details of any around Manchester please feel free to send them my way |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"Thank you to the people with constructive ideas such as socials beforehand and if you ever get the details of any around Manchester please feel free to send them my way"
Already told you about the Greedy Girl in Connections |
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"All this talk about man up and grow a pair is extremely harsh OP your not the only one to feel that way about attending a club solo for the first time I feel the same way and all this talk from the obvious regulars doesn't help at all
The 'obvious regulars' were first time clubbers at one point too!
And I suspect 99% went without a hand to hold.
I know I did.
A
why do people throw out ridiculous statistics that can not be backed up and your part of a couple so I suspect you held each others hand
Everybody is different not everyone is like you
I went to my first club in 2006. Alone. And my second. And third.
I didn't meet Fox until 2013.
Yes everyone is different. But as I said - if you're adult enough to be on a site like this you're adult enough to walk into a club alone.
A
and like I said already everybody is different and all this your adult enough talk is just patronising in my opinion
It may seem patronising to you. To others it's common sense.
People get nervous going on meets. It's natural. Even after years in the lifestyle.
People get nervous sending messages. You never know how it will be received.
People get nervous doing anything that they've not done before. A new sexual activity, a job interview, meeting new people - be they partners family, co workers or just a customer at work.
But so people stop doing any of these activities? No.
At some point they bite the bullet, step out of their comfort zone and into the unknown.
As far as I'm aware nobody has ever died walking into a club. Nobody has ever walked in and vanished, never to be seen again. If you really can't handle going by yourself then looking for someone to hold your hand will rarely result in a rush of willing applicants.
So why not put your name down for a social. You'll be able to see who else is going. You'll be able to drop them a 'hi' before the date. You may even be able to swap face pics so you can seek each other out and introduce yourselves.
It's not rocket science. There are events held all over the country week in week out.
Many attended by first time club goers. All of whom manage to walk through those doors.
A "
wow even more patronising this time around not even worth getting into a forum argument and receiving a ban
Oh and for the record I never once said I was looking for anything or anyone to hold my hand just that I agreed with the OP about having reservations |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Not ask the cliche......
again... you helpful advice is.......
since you go to clubs... what would you advise????
I wouldn't be seen dead in a club.
"
Your a ray of sunshine and happiness aren't you |
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"
Not ask the cliche......
again... you helpful advice is.......
since you go to clubs... what would you advise????
I wouldn't be seen dead in a club.
"
If you wouldn't be seen dead in a club then how can you contribute and assist other members based upon your experience? |
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"
Not ask the cliche......
again... you helpful advice is.......
since you go to clubs... what would you advise????
I wouldn't be seen dead in a club.
Your a ray of sunshine and happiness aren't you "
|
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"
Not ask the cliche......
again... you helpful advice is.......
since you go to clubs... what would you advise????
I wouldn't be seen dead in a club.
"
That's good. I find live patrons much more fun.
If you don't go to clubs, why are you commenting about people who go to clubs? Just being ornery? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Not ask the cliche......
again... you helpful advice is.......
since you go to clubs... what would you advise????
I wouldn't be seen dead in a club.
"
So not really in any position to give any advice about clubs or the type of people who go. That's ok leave it to us 'usual helpful' people who go and arent just going on heresay. |
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"
Not ask the cliche......
again... you helpful advice is.......
since you go to clubs... what would you advise????
I wouldn't be seen dead in a club.
Your a ray of sunshine and happiness aren't you "
You'd be pleasantly surprised I'm sure
|
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"
Not ask the cliche......
again... you helpful advice is.......
since you go to clubs... what would you advise????
I wouldn't be seen dead in a club.
So not really in any position to give any advice about clubs or the type of people who go. That's ok leave it to us 'usual helpful' people who go and arent just going on heresay."
Did I give any advice about clubs? I do however lurk around the forums and have observed the antics of forum posters.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
My first time was in xanados in mcr the girl i went with drugged me with wizz an sent me all floppy so i walked from mcr to wythenshawe was not happy but did fall for her ( going back 18 years ago |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Not ask the cliche......
again... you helpful advice is.......
since you go to clubs... what would you advise????
I wouldn't be seen dead in a club.
So not really in any position to give any advice about clubs or the type of people who go. That's ok leave it to us 'usual helpful' people who go and arent just going on heresay.
Did I give any advice about clubs? I do however lurk around the forums and have observed the antics of forum posters.
"
Yeh the so called 'helpful brigade' which is usually anyone with an opinion on something you know nothing about. If throwing in snide comments makes you happy - knock ya self out sunshine. |
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"
Not ask the cliche......
again... you helpful advice is.......
since you go to clubs... what would you advise????
I wouldn't be seen dead in a club.y
So not really in any position to give any advice about clubs or the type of people who go. That's ok leave it to us 'usual helpful' people who go and arent just going on heresay.
Did I give any advice about clubs? I do however lurk around the forums and have observed the antics of forum posters.
Yeh the so called 'helpful brigade' which is usually anyone with an opinion on something you know nothing about. If throwing in snide comments makes you happy - knock ya self out sunshine."
Just because my opinion isn't the same as yours it's 'snide' ?
I, and I'm not alone feel there are a certain group of people on the forums who seem to get there amusement from knocking people.
|
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"
Not ask the cliche......
again... you helpful advice is.......
since you go to clubs... what would you advise????
I wouldn't be seen dead in a club.y
So not really in any position to give any advice about clubs or the type of people who go. That's ok leave it to us 'usual helpful' people who go and arent just going on heresay.
Did I give any advice about clubs? I do however lurk around the forums and have observed the antics of forum posters.
Yeh the so called 'helpful brigade' which is usually anyone with an opinion on something you know nothing about. If throwing in snide comments makes you happy - knock ya self out sunshine.
Just because my opinion isn't the same as yours it's 'snide' ?
I, and I'm not alone feel there are a certain group of people on the forums who seem to get there amusement from knocking people.
"
your not alone sometimes the forums are a lovely place but other times so clicky it's ridiculous |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Not ask the cliche......
again... you helpful advice is.......
since you go to clubs... what would you advise????
I wouldn't be seen dead in a club.y
So not really in any position to give any advice about clubs or the type of people who go. That's ok leave it to us 'usual helpful' people who go and arent just going on heresay.
Did I give any advice about clubs? I do however lurk around the forums and have observed the antics of forum posters.
Yeh the so called 'helpful brigade' which is usually anyone with an opinion on something you know nothing about. If throwing in snide comments makes you happy - knock ya self out sunshine.
Just because my opinion isn't the same as yours it's 'snide' ?
I, and I'm not alone feel there are a certain group of people on the forums who seem to get there amusement from knocking people.
your not alone sometimes the forums are a lovely place but other times so clicky it's ridiculous"
Just because someone has a different opinion doesn't mean to say it's clicky |
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Well if you don't like the forums then why are you here posting in them?
I only post occasionally and do NOT find it clicky, far from it in fact.
If you dislike what certain members say then avoid their posts.....simple |
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"Well if you don't like the forums then why are you here posting in them?
I only post occasionally and do NOT find it clicky, far from it in fact.
If you dislike what certain members say then avoid their posts.....simple"
I have no problem with the op......just the way people Gang up to belittle others.
And I'll post if I want.
|
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"
Not ask the cliche......
again... you helpful advice is.......
since you go to clubs... what would you advise????
I wouldn't be seen dead in a club.y
So not really in any position to give any advice about clubs or the type of people who go. That's ok leave it to us 'usual helpful' people who go and arent just going on heresay.
Did I give any advice about clubs? I do however lurk around the forums and have observed the antics of forum posters.
Yeh the so called 'helpful brigade' which is usually anyone with an opinion on something you know nothing about. If throwing in snide comments makes you happy - knock ya self out sunshine.
Just because my opinion isn't the same as yours it's 'snide' ?
I, and I'm not alone feel there are a certain group of people on the forums who seem to get there amusement from knocking people.
your not alone sometimes the forums are a lovely place but other times so clicky it's ridiculous
Just because someone has a different opinion doesn't mean to say it's clicky"
now did I say that???? Don't put words into my mouth |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Well if you don't like the forums then why are you here posting in them?
I only post occasionally and do NOT find it clicky, far from it in fact.
If you dislike what certain members say then avoid their posts.....simple
I have no problem with the op......just the way people Gang up to belittle others.
And I'll post if I want.
"
I haven't ganged up or conspired with anyone. All I have done is drawn from my own experience and shared my opinion |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Not ask the cliche......
again... you helpful advice is.......
since you go to clubs... what would you advise????
I wouldn't be seen dead in a club.y
So not really in any position to give any advice about clubs or the type of people who go. That's ok leave it to us 'usual helpful' people who go and arent just going on heresay.
Did I give any advice about clubs? I do however lurk around the forums and have observed the antics of forum posters.
Yeh the so called 'helpful brigade' which is usually anyone with an opinion on something you know nothing about. If throwing in snide comments makes you happy - knock ya self out sunshine.
Just because my opinion isn't the same as yours it's 'snide' ?
I, and I'm not alone feel there are a certain group of people on the forums who seem to get there amusement from knocking people.
"
If you don't like what I or others post feel free to ignore it. However just because I have given my opinion doesn't make me a 'helpful brigade' member. Just someone with an opinion. And yes you calling forum users 'helpful brigade' is a snide. Again if you don't like it ignore it. |
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"Well if you don't like the forums then why are you here posting in them?
I only post occasionally and do NOT find it clicky, far from it in fact.
If you dislike what certain members say then avoid their posts.....simple"
Read my post again I said it can be a lovely place but at times clicky and that is coming from a regular user of the forums |
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"
Not ask the cliche......
again... you helpful advice is.......
since you go to clubs... what would you advise????
I wouldn't be seen dead in a club.y
So not really in any position to give any advice about clubs or the type of people who go. That's ok leave it to us 'usual helpful' people who go and arent just going on heresay.
Did I give any advice about clubs? I do however lurk around the forums and have observed the antics of forum posters.
Yeh the so called 'helpful brigade' which is usually anyone with an opinion on something you know nothing about. If throwing in snide comments makes you happy - knock ya self out sunshine.
Just because my opinion isn't the same as yours it's 'snide' ?
I, and I'm not alone feel there are a certain group of people on the forums who seem to get there amusement from knocking people.
If you don't like what I or others post feel free to ignore it. However just because I have given my opinion doesn't make me a 'helpful brigade' member. Just someone with an opinion. And yes you calling forum users 'helpful brigade' is a snide. Again if you don't like it ignore it."
lol so why didn't you just ignore her post oh the irony |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
The OP is really young at 22. And can totally understand he is nervous. I am 37 and only just visiting my first club in a couple of weeks.
I am nervous as I am going on my own. But I feel so much more confident in my late thirties than I ever did in my early twenties. Me age 22 would be wanting my hand held lol.
I have been chatting to a lot of the people going to the event so feel like I know people already. Which helps xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Not ask the cliche......
again... you helpful advice is.......
since you go to clubs... what would you advise????
I wouldn't be seen dead in a club.y
So not really in any position to give any advice about clubs or the type of people who go. That's ok leave it to us 'usual helpful' people who go and arent just going on heresay.
Did I give any advice about clubs? I do however lurk around the forums and have observed the antics of forum posters.
Yeh the so called 'helpful brigade' which is usually anyone with an opinion on something you know nothing about. If throwing in snide comments makes you happy - knock ya self out sunshine.
Just because my opinion isn't the same as yours it's 'snide' ?
I, and I'm not alone feel there are a certain group of people on the forums who seem to get there amusement from knocking people.
If you don't like what I or others post feel free to ignore it. However just because I have given my opinion doesn't make me a 'helpful brigade' member. Just someone with an opinion. And yes you calling forum users 'helpful brigade' is a snide. Again if you don't like it ignore it.
lol so why didn't you just ignore her post oh the irony "
As a member of the helpful brigade I'm devoid of irony, sense of humour or opinion apparently. |
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"
Not ask the cliche......
again... you helpful advice is.......
since you go to clubs... what would you advise????
I wouldn't be seen dead in a club.y
So not really in any position to give any advice about clubs or the type of people who go. That's ok leave it to us 'usual helpful' people who go and arent just going on heresay.
Did I give any advice about clubs? I do however lurk around the forums and have observed the antics of forum posters.
Yeh the so called 'helpful brigade' which is usually anyone with an opinion on something you know nothing about. If throwing in snide comments makes you happy - knock ya self out sunshine.
Just because my opinion isn't the same as yours it's 'snide' ?
I, and I'm not alone feel there are a certain group of people on the forums who seem to get there amusement from knocking people.
If you don't like what I or others post feel free to ignore it. However just because I have given my opinion doesn't make me a 'helpful brigade' member. Just someone with an opinion. And yes you calling forum users 'helpful brigade' is a snide. Again if you don't like it ignore it."
People telling someone to grow a pair or wear the big boys trousers is more than snide. And the same applies to you. If you don't like what I say ignore it. My original comment was to the op not you or anyone else. So wind your neck in
|
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By *rsIdiotWoman
over a year ago
Bedworth |
"
Not ask the cliche......
again... you helpful advice is.......
since you go to clubs... what would you advise????
I wouldn't be seen dead in a club.y
So not really in any position to give any advice about clubs or the type of people who go. That's ok leave it to us 'usual helpful' people who go and arent just going on heresay.
Did I give any advice about clubs? I do however lurk around the forums and have observed the antics of forum posters.
Yeh the so called 'helpful brigade' which is usually anyone with an opinion on something you know nothing about. If throwing in snide comments makes you happy - knock ya self out sunshine.
Just because my opinion isn't the same as yours it's 'snide' ?
I, and I'm not alone feel there are a certain group of people on the forums who seem to get there amusement from knocking people.
If you don't like what I or others post feel free to ignore it. However just because I have given my opinion doesn't make me a 'helpful brigade' member. Just someone with an opinion. And yes you calling forum users 'helpful brigade' is a snide. Again if you don't like it ignore it.
People telling someone to grow a pair or wear the big boys trousers is more than snide. And the same applies to you. If you don't like what I say ignore it. My original comment was to the op not you or anyone else. So wind your neck in
"
Last time I saw someone tell another member to "wind their neck in" in forums he was sent to the naughty step for being abusive..........asmall you yourself say, if you don't like what someone is posting then you have the option to ignore those posts. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Not ask the cliche......
again... you helpful advice is.......
since you go to clubs... what would you advise????
I wouldn't be seen dead in a club.y
So not really in any position to give any advice about clubs or the type of people who go. That's ok leave it to us 'usual helpful' people who go and arent just going on heresay.
Did I give any advice about clubs? I do however lurk around the forums and have observed the antics of forum posters.
Yeh the so called 'helpful brigade' which is usually anyone with an opinion on something you know nothing about. If throwing in snide comments makes you happy - knock ya self out sunshine.
Just because my opinion isn't the same as yours it's 'snide' ?
I, and I'm not alone feel there are a certain group of people on the forums who seem to get there amusement from knocking people.
If you don't like what I or others post feel free to ignore it. However just because I have given my opinion doesn't make me a 'helpful brigade' member. Just someone with an opinion. And yes you calling forum users 'helpful brigade' is a snide. Again if you don't like it ignore it.
People telling someone to grow a pair or wear the big boys trousers is more than snide. And the same applies to you. If you don't like what I say ignore it. My original comment was to the op not you or anyone else. So wind your neck in
Last time I saw someone tell another member to "wind their neck in" in forums he was sent to the naughty step for being abusive..........asmall you yourself say, if you don't like what someone is posting then you have the option to ignore those posts. "
The little green arrow tells the full story. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Wouldn't accompany someone I didn't know, but would certainly arrange to meet there so at least you'd know you wouldn't be standing by yourself."
Sarah x
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I have taken several newbies to a club. Ladies, men and couples. Have no problem doing it and luckily all have been great company."
Exactly. Where's the harm in helping someone ease their way in. Swingers are meant to be, by and large, a tad more sociable in certain ways. We should help each other out when we can. It doesn't matter how old you are etc, anything new and unknown can be slightly daunting.
Sarah x
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"All this talk about man up and grow a pair is extremely harsh OP your not the only one to feel that way about attending a club solo for the first time I feel the same way and all this talk from the obvious regulars doesn't help at all "
So why don't you and the OP go together.
If it's just someone to go with, why not meet up and go with another fella in the same situation?
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I have taken several newbies to a club. Ladies, men and couples. Have no problem doing it and luckily all have been great company.
Exactly. Where's the harm in helping someone ease their way in. Swingers are meant to be, by and large, a tad more sociable in certain ways. We should help each other out when we can. It doesn't matter how old you are etc, anything new and unknown can be slightly daunting.
Sarah x
"
You take someone - they get blind d*unk, falling all over the place, start abusing the people they dont like the look off, make derogatory remarks about women with implants, touch people inappropriately. Just a few examples that I have dealt with. And this wasn't just a random I took. This was someone id known for a year but who was totally new to swinging and despite me explaining the etiquette did not know how to behave. I could not predict that and it reflected on me. So no I won't help single males. Others may - thats up to them. Their rep on the line not mine. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"what are people's feelings about accompanying a new swinger to a club as I want to start attending them but would feel strange walking in by myself. Would like to go for a drink or 2 first to get onto talking terms and then hopefully attend a club together
I have to agree with the previous posters that if your not confident enough to do it, then maybe it's not for you.
Don't get me wrong everyone had a first time and it was nerve racking as hell. But my question is why would you feel strange? What exactly do think happens at clubs?
Regardless of what you may think it's not like walking into the porn version of the Slaughtered Lamb! - everyone is fucking and as you enter it all goes quiet, and some bloke accidentally cums in the eye of a t-girl and stares at you with the words "you made me miss..."
And if it is, walk out... Or join in, whatever, be a man! *-
D"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
The OP is 22. Been on the site for 6 weeks. Has had no meets....of course he is scared.
You may not wish to accompany him yourself but don't knock/mock the poor lads question.
He is young and inexperienced. When I was up North the term we used was "still shitting yellow".
Sound advice for him only please.
Good luck mate! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I couldn't go on my own first time. I'd want to go with someone  "
Me too. I went with a friend the first time. Second time was a social and it was still nerve wracking but I knew some people and it helped. x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I couldn't go on my own first time. I'd want to go with someone
Me too. I went with a friend the first time. Second time was a social and it was still nerve wracking but I knew some people and it helped. x"
I'd prefer a social first to be honest but the only one I've heard of near me is held right near where my daughter lives |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Ive never been to a club myself but thinking of going to one soon in bury...partners i think its called. Im not bothered about going by myself i have big balls lol but that aside ive seen photos of people in clubs and there wearing towels around them.is this the case?? As soon as i go to a club have i got to wear a towel like im in a sauna? I hate my belly its like the advert belly gonna get ya lol haha o well i think im just paranoid that people think am fat...i am gonna be cycling to work soon tho hehe ANYWAY enough of the rambling its too early...i think if you really wanna go and if nobody ecompanies you just ask a close friend to go with you..or couples/singles youve met from here...or another option...go to a social. Another option...go dogging...thats were alot of couples go too and usually have a chinwag. Scammondam Dam is a good place to start once you start chatting everything will be alot easier for you...youl feel relaxed...the couples will feel relaxed and even if there not interested in you sexually then theres still nothing wrong in a chat. Its all about getting to know people. Xxx |
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"Ive never been to a club myself but thinking of going to one soon in bury...partners i think its called. Im not bothered about going by myself i have big balls lol but that aside ive seen photos of people in clubs and there wearing towels around them.is this the case?? As soon as i go to a club have i got to wear a towel like im in a sauna? I hate my belly its like the advert belly gonna get ya lol haha o well i think im just paranoid that people think am fat...i am gonna be cycling to work soon tho hehe ANYWAY enough of the rambling its too early...i think if you really wanna go and if nobody ecompanies you just ask a close friend to go with you..or couples/singles youve met from here...or another option...go to a social. Another option...go dogging...thats were alot of couples go too and usually have a chinwag. Scammondam Dam is a good place to start once you start chatting everything will be alot easier for you...youl feel relaxed...the couples will feel relaxed and even if there not interested in you sexually then theres still nothing wrong in a chat. Its all about getting to know people. Xxx "
Depends on the club. I've never walked round in my undies or towel in the ones I've been to. Give them a ring and ask about the dress code x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ive never been to a club myself but thinking of going to one soon in bury...partners i think its called. Im not bothered about going by myself i have big balls lol but that aside ive seen photos of people in clubs and there wearing towels around them.is this the case?? As soon as i go to a club have i got to wear a towel like im in a sauna? I hate my belly its like the advert belly gonna get ya lol haha o well i think im just paranoid that people think am fat...i am gonna be cycling to work soon tho hehe ANYWAY enough of the rambling its too early...i think if you really wanna go and if nobody ecompanies you just ask a close friend to go with you..or couples/singles youve met from here...or another option...go to a social. Another option...go dogging...thats were alot of couples go too and usually have a chinwag. Scammondam Dam is a good place to start once you start chatting everything will be alot easier for you...youl feel relaxed...the couples will feel relaxed and even if there not interested in you sexually then theres still nothing wrong in a chat. Its all about getting to know people. Xxx
Depends on the club. I've never walked round in my undies or towel in the ones I've been to. Give them a ring and ask about the dress code x"
True good advice batman! or check on there website duhhh i need sleep lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Depends on the club. I've never walked round in my undies or towel in the ones I've been to. Give them a ring and ask about the dress code x"
I think Partners have a jacuzzi or hot tub and sauna and steam room so i think thats why people are in towels. Unfortunatly no bar tho. BUT you can take beverages in and give them to the staff who then serve them to you which is great. |
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"
Depends on the club. I've never walked round in my undies or towel in the ones I've been to. Give them a ring and ask about the dress code x
I think Partners have a jacuzzi or hot tub and sauna and steam room so i think thats why people are in towels. Unfortunatly no bar tho. BUT you can take beverages in and give them to the staff who then serve them to you which is great. "
Better taking your own! Much cheaper! X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Depends on the club. I've never walked round in my undies or towel in the ones I've been to. Give them a ring and ask about the dress code x
I think Partners have a jacuzzi or hot tub and sauna and steam room so i think thats why people are in towels. Unfortunatly no bar tho. BUT you can take beverages in and give them to the staff who then serve them to you which is great.
Better taking your own! Much cheaper! X"
I could even take my own mini bar!!! hehe |
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"I have taken several newbies to a club. Ladies, men and couples. Have no problem doing it and luckily all have been great company.
Exactly. Where's the harm in helping someone ease their way in. Swingers are meant to be, by and large, a tad more sociable in certain ways. We should help each other out when we can. It doesn't matter how old you are etc, anything new and unknown can be slightly daunting.
Sarah x
You take someone - they get blind d*unk, falling all over the place, start abusing the people they dont like the look off, make derogatory remarks about women with implants, touch people inappropriately. Just a few examples that I have dealt with. And this wasn't just a random I took. This was someone id known for a year but who was totally new to swinging and despite me explaining the etiquette did not know how to behave. I could not predict that and it reflected on me. So no I won't help single males. Others may - thats up to them. Their rep on the line not mine."
Maybe you should look at your selection criteria ?
That's another helpful tip that's banded about regularly
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By *ixmaMan
over a year ago
Birmingham |
"Hardest part is walking through the door. Once in and settled you will forget what you were worried about.
Now if you were a single lady people would be queuing up to accompany you n strings. Strange old world the swingers world "
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"All this talk about man up and grow a pair is extremely harsh OP your not the only one to feel that way about attending a club solo for the first time I feel the same way and all this talk from the obvious regulars doesn't help at all
So why don't you and the OP go together.
If it's just someone to go with, why not meet up and go with another fella in the same situation?
"
because his in Oldham and I'm in London and I ain't travelling that far up north for a club |
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"I have taken several newbies to a club. Ladies, men and couples. Have no problem doing it and luckily all have been great company.
Exactly. Where's the harm in helping someone ease their way in. Swingers are meant to be, by and large, a tad more sociable in certain ways. We should help each other out when we can. It doesn't matter how old you are etc, anything new and unknown can be slightly daunting.
Sarah x
You take someone - they get blind d*unk, falling all over the place, start abusing the people they dont like the look off, make derogatory remarks about women with implants, touch people inappropriately. Just a few examples that I have dealt with. And this wasn't just a random I took. This was someone id known for a year but who was totally new to swinging and despite me explaining the etiquette did not know how to behave. I could not predict that and it reflected on me. So no I won't help single males. Others may - thats up to them. Their rep on the line not mine.
Maybe you should look at your selection criteria ?
That's another helpful tip that's banded about regularly
"
I'm guessing after a year she thought it would be ok. I suppose you can never predict how someone will act in those circumstances. |
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"Now if you were a single lady people would be queuing up to accompany you n strings. Strange old world the swingers world "
I agree if this thread was started by a single lady I suspect the answers would be very different |
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"what are people's feelings about accompanying a new swinger to a club as I want to start attending them but would feel strange walking in by myself. Would like to go for a drink or 2 first to get onto talking terms and then hopefully attend a club together "
As has already been said, the hardest part is walking through the door for the first time. Once you're in, you'll wonder why you were so nervous.
Everyone is there for the same thing, so go for it and have fun.
Why don't you go along to a social first? Try a bit of networking, you may find others in a similar position, and you could go along together.
As you're in Oldham there are plenty of good clubs in Manchester to choose from. |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"The number of people who are adult enough to look to meet strangers for sex via the internet but not adult enough to enter a club designed to offer the same result never ceases to amaze me.
A"
I am a very confident person but would struggle to walk into a sex club on my own.
Just because some people can do it doesn't mean others will feel comfortable doing it. |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"The number of people who are adult enough to look to meet strangers for sex via the internet but not adult enough to enter a club designed to offer the same result never ceases to amaze me.
A
I am a very confident person but would struggle to walk into a sex club on my own.
Just because some people can do it doesn't mean others will feel comfortable doing it."
Being told to grow some balls and other comments on this thread doesn't come across as friendly so might put someone off too.
The poor man only asked a question |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
See.... Half the problem here is the perception of what a club is like from those who have never been... As opposed to the reality of what a club is like from those who have actually been and do go
Which is why a lot of the people who been in that position say "just go!"
Yes there is a fear of the unknown... But at what point do you listen to the people who have been and say you'll be fine instead of putting your fingers in your ears and shout "la la la.....I'm not listening"
If you thought it would be that bad you wouldn't be considering going in the first place.... |
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"I can totally understand you not wanting to go on your own the first time. I would of been exactly the same. Havin been a few times now if I lived near enough I would happily go alone.
I can also understand others being reserved at taking someone they don't know.
Best advice I can give is look out for an organised social at a club near you and go then, they often have lots of newbies and are a much better way of texting chatting in a more relaxed way than attending with someone else on a normal night. Some even have a social pre party in a bar nearby or the hotel bar so you can chat to a few people before the actual event "
All of this!!
Things have changed so much since I first found the swinging scene. There was a time when handholders were the norm. I was shitting it the first time I went to a club, fortunately there were a lot of genuinely nice people around who were happy to help out newbies. It doesn't appear to be like that so much these days and I can't help but wonder how it became so hard faced? I guess the more socially acceptable swinging becomes, the more time wasters there are, people are less willing to be kind to a stranger.
I'm sort of glad I hit the scene when I did if I'm honest. I've made a lot of great friends along the way, mostly because I was made welcome. I know that lots of others were then too, not just the girls. It's a shame things change really.
Good luck OP... I hope you find a nice soul to show a little bit of kindness to take you under their wing. I hear the grow a pair thing and there is a bit of that required but also there's nothing wrong with a little apprehension. |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"See.... Half the problem here is the perception of what a club is like from those who have never been... As opposed to the reality of what a club is like from those who have actually been and do go
"
I am not sure it is about any perception a person may have about a club .I am guessing if anyone had any bad perceptions about clubs they wouldn't be considering going at all.
I think it might be more about walking into a place on your own and hoping the people in the place will welcome you enough to make you feel comfortable. |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"See.... Half the problem here is the perception of what a club is like from those who have never been... As opposed to the reality of what a club is like from those who have actually been and do go
I am not sure it is about any perception a person may have about a club .I am guessing if anyone had any bad perceptions about clubs they wouldn't be considering going at all.
I think it might be more about walking into a place on your own and hoping the people in the place will welcome you enough to make you feel comfortable. "
To which I would say isn't the onus as much on the person going to make an effort to talk to people as much as people who go regularly to be welcoming? I find "do you mind me joining you, I'm new" in any social area regardless of whether you're a bloke, couple or single fem goes a long way... Or just chatting in the smoking area of any club since they're a sociable bunch
I think the perception of clubs from those who have never been has turned fear of unknown into full blown paranoia....
Maybe the more interesting question coming out of this thread would be to ask what people who haven't been to clubs think they are like just so we can dispel as many myths as possible
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
Walking into the club alone is more what I was commenting on and the reason why you could be nervous
After you get in there it is down to you and the people in the club as to whether the experience is enjoyable or not but you still need to have the people already in there be friendly enough to welcome newbies.
My own perception of clubs before we used one was mixed depending on what the threads talking about them where at the time.
Some were enough to put anyone off....but there were others that sounded like everyone looked out for each other.
The perception of clubs still wouldn't have been an issue of whether I could walk into a club alone or not though and if I am honest, even though I was with the OH we were still both nervous to walk in. |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"See.... Half the problem here is the perception of what a club is like from those who have never been... As opposed to the reality of what a club is like from those who have actually been and do go
I am not sure it is about any perception a person may have about a club .I am guessing if anyone had any bad perceptions about clubs they wouldn't be considering going at all.
I think it might be more about walking into a place on your own and hoping the people in the place will welcome you enough to make you feel comfortable. "
The trouble is this is beyond anyone's control.
You could be the nicest person on earth or a total muppet - you won't know who's in there til you enter!
Even club regulars have to cross this line when visiting a new club for the first time. If you could guarantee a warm welcome or see through the walks to establish who's there, the mix of singles couples and ages - then life would be different. You can hope for lots of things - but whether a club virgin or a newbie nothing is guaranteed!
This I think is the point those of us saying 'bite the bullet and go' are trying to emphasise. You can only control one thing. You.
We'd all love to be comfortable in everything we do. But part of being comfortable is making an effort yourself. The onus is as much on the visitor as it is the club itself and other guests.
A |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
I think I might be writing it wrong or my point is being missed.
To get to the point of wanting to visit a club your perceptions of the club must be a good one.....being nervous to walk into that club alone is not a bad thing but being told to grow some balls and act like an adult isn't pleasant and doesn't sound friendly at all, which in turn might change your perception of clubs if that is the attitude of some club goers.
Saying " go for it" and encouraging someone to try it is a good thing however.
Either way...to the OP...I hope some of the comments don't put you off trying a club and hopefully you will find someone who is going to the same club on the same night.
Good luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I can totally understand you not wanting to go on your own the first time. I would of been exactly the same. Havin been a few times now if I lived near enough I would happily go alone.
I can also understand others being reserved at taking someone they don't know.
Best advice I can give is look out for an organised social at a club near you and go then, they often have lots of newbies and are a much better way of texting chatting in a more relaxed way than attending with someone else on a normal night. Some even have a social pre party in a bar nearby or the hotel bar so you can chat to a few people before the actual event
All of this!!
Things have changed so much since I first found the swinging scene. There was a time when handholders were the norm. I was shitting it the first time I went to a club, fortunately there were a lot of genuinely nice people around who were happy to help out newbies. It doesn't appear to be like that so much these days and I can't help but wonder how it became so hard faced? I guess the more socially acceptable swinging becomes, the more time wasters there are, people are less willing to be kind to a stranger.
I'm sort of glad I hit the scene when I did if I'm honest. I've made a lot of great friends along the way, mostly because I was made welcome. I know that lots of others were then too, not just the girls. It's a shame things change really.
Good luck OP... I hope you find a nice soul to show a little bit of kindness to take you under their wing. I hear the grow a pair thing and there is a bit of that required but also there's nothing wrong with a little apprehension."
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