FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > best ways to let people down gently
best ways to let people down gently
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Unless it's something outside of our preferences such as smokers, straight couples, long way away, where we'd give a reason, if it's because we don't find them attractive, we say Thanks for your message/friend request etc, you're not for us but thanks anyway and happy swinging.
Then we don't tend to enter into any further dialogue, because there isn't any point. We often get just a thanks back and haven't really had much aggro from it... |
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I usually say "You are lovely in every respect but God, you have fucked up teeth!".
They are usually cool with that and haven't had any bunny boiler so far..lol
On a serious note, a simple "thanks for the message but not what I had in mind" should be OK |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm sorry but I'm not interested in pursuing things further, I wish you well on the site"
You still get idiots who like to persist or ask why but I ignore from that point onwards
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some we just delete there message as a no thanks if they had bothered to read our profile it would of saved them time writing as they are not what we are looking for. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I just say thanks for taking the time to message but you're not what I'm looking for on here, wish them all the best then block so there's no Spanish inquisition as to why or worse, immature abuse. Its nothing personal, just another filter as I often find if I don't block, people message again at a later date. Saves a lot of wasted time for both parties. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm rubbish at finding ways to say no without upsetting people, not just here but in general. So, what would you be least upset to hear?
~Crys~"
It's best to just say , at this time your just not my type
You may think your upsetting them but they will admire your honesty ,I f they get shitty with you it just proves you were right .
I always try to stay friendly after all , what you want today is not what you want tomorrow |
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"Sorry but not for me. Only problem is when they ask why. Do you then be blunt? "
Why? "Y is a crooked letter and you should no better!" Something an ex told me once...useful deflection or confusion to turn around an awkward subject.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sorry but not for me. Only problem is when they ask why. Do you then be blunt? "
Don't enter into any other conversation, you've politely said you're not interested so it should go no further (that's why I block after a polite no thanks!) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sorry but not for me. Only problem is when they ask why. Do you then be blunt?
Why? "Y is a crooked letter and you should no better!" Something an ex told me once...useful deflection or confusion to turn around an awkward subject. "
deflection and self questioning only really works in an argument, if you have already made your mind up then it is no longer up for discussion  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm rubbish at finding ways to say no without upsetting people, not just here but in general. So, what would you be least upset to hear?
~Crys~"
i think your reading to much into it, most people won't be upset if you say no thanks to them, most will just move on without giving you a second thought |
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"Sorry but not for me. Only problem is when they ask why. Do you then be blunt?
Why? "Y is a crooked letter and you should no better!" Something an ex told me once...useful deflection or confusion to turn around an awkward subject.
deflection and self questioning only really works in an argument, if you have already made your mind up then it is no longer up for discussion "
True can't disagree with that logic learn something new everyday but then it pushes other information out  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sorry but not for me. Only problem is when they ask why. Do you then be blunt?
Why? "Y is a crooked letter and you should no better!" Something an ex told me once...useful deflection or confusion to turn around an awkward subject.
deflection and self questioning only really works in an argument, if you have already made your mind up then it is no longer up for discussion
True can't disagree with that logic learn something new everyday but then it pushes other information out "
I just see no point in entering into a further conversation after saying no thanks. In my experience, it can turn into abuse however nicely you put it and its just not worth it. If someone told me they weren't interested I'd respect that, wish them well and block them so as to not accidentally bother them again at a later date. |
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"Sorry but not for me. Only problem is when they ask why. Do you then be blunt?
Why? "Y is a crooked letter and you should no better!" Something an ex told me once...useful deflection or confusion to turn around an awkward subject.
deflection and self questioning only really works in an argument, if you have already made your mind up then it is no longer up for discussion
True can't disagree with that logic learn something new everyday but then it pushes other information out
I just see no point in entering into a further conversation after saying no thanks. In my experience, it can turn into abuse however nicely you put it and its just not worth it. If someone told me they weren't interested I'd respect that, wish them well and block them so as to not accidentally bother them again at a later date."
more sound advice noted My first day on forums, thanks  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sorry but not for me. Only problem is when they ask why. Do you then be blunt?
Why? "Y is a crooked letter and you should no better!" Something an ex told me once...useful deflection or confusion to turn around an awkward subject.
deflection and self questioning only really works in an argument, if you have already made your mind up then it is no longer up for discussion
True can't disagree with that logic learn something new everyday but then it pushes other information out
I just see no point in entering into a further conversation after saying no thanks. In my experience, it can turn into abuse however nicely you put it and its just not worth it. If someone told me they weren't interested I'd respect that, wish them well and block them so as to not accidentally bother them again at a later date."
True! Best to wish them well and don't enter into the reasons why they're turned down. If they can't accept it, then it's their problem. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A rejection from me is normally due to people not reading my profile so I either say "Reading profiles may help you actually meet people" then block them or if I've had a few idiots in a short span then I just delete & block.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Personally I wouldn't be ignorant like a lot of people on here are, courtesy costs nothing! I'd be straight to the point and say how it is ( sorry your just not what I'm looking for but thanks anyway, )
Simple, straight to the point no drama |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When I get rejection emails (which is often lol) I like to reply something like...
"Thanks for taking the time to reply to my message and good luck"
I just think being polite and courteous is the way that I want to be. |
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For us the biggest part of wanting to meet us mutual attraction. If either of us isn't attracted to one or both of the other party the. We say so. No point meeting of you can't ambet aroused. They can take it how they like, but better to be up front an honest than to try an play it Down. We know we're not everyone's cup of tea an we are fine with that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No thanks just leads to "but why not" its better to say there is no attraction or be a little more specific though there are some who still go on and on asking. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just 'no thank you' is fine."
If they're immature an get abusive, just block them. I'm allways polite and don't rise to the bait if they do get the arse.
Most people are pretty grown up about it, we all can't fancy everyone, life would be a big bun fight if we did  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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be honest but not harsh about it. I personally would also include what i didn't like about the profile as its really surprising how many people don't help each other on here after all every single member is on here for the same reasons. |
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"be honest but not harsh about it. I personally would also include what i didn't like about the profile as its really surprising how many people don't help each other on here after all every single member is on here for the same reasons. "
Would you really include what you don't like about the profile, even if they hadn't asked? If someone sent a thanks but no thanks message with a profile critique we'd be a bit fed up. If we want help with it we'd ask. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"oh and ps not every single person is on here for the same reason."
I would like to point you to the section on the page to forums. Now if people use their little brains all you got to do is search these and you will find countless of forums asking why they cant get meets etc so dont try giving me that crap that everyone is on here for different reasons. Next point i would like to make is stop moaning that the site is crap if no body will help to find solutions to make the site better. Personally i think it is people like you that has damaged this site so much that it no longer works.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"oh and ps not every single person is on here for the same reason. I would like to point you to the section on the page to forums. Now if people use their little brains all you got to do is search these and you will find countless of forums asking why they cant get meets etc so dont try giving me that crap that everyone is on here for different reasons. Next point i would like to make is stop moaning that the site is crap if no body will help to find solutions to make the site better. Personally i think it is people like you that has damaged this site so much that it no longer works. "
Works wonderfully for us, and looking the evidence, for nicecouple too...just wondering what it is you think they and "people like them" have done to damage the site? |
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"oh and ps not every single person is on here for the same reason. I would like to point you to the section on the page to forums. Now if people use their little brains all you got to do is search these and you will find countless of forums asking why they cant get meets etc so dont try giving me that crap that everyone is on here for different reasons. Next point i would like to make is stop moaning that the site is crap if no body will help to find solutions to make the site better. Personally i think it is people like you that has damaged this site so much that it no longer works. "
Yep that'd be right, I'm a devil for damaging the site me  |
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"oh and ps not every single person is on here for the same reason. I would like to point you to the section on the page to forums. Now if people use their little brains all you got to do is search these and you will find countless of forums asking why they cant get meets etc so dont try giving me that crap that everyone is on here for different reasons. Next point i would like to make is stop moaning that the site is crap if no body will help to find solutions to make the site better. Personally i think it is people like you that has damaged this site so much that it no longer works.
Works wonderfully for us, and looking the evidence, for nicecouple too...just wondering what it is you think they and "people like them" have done to damage the site? "
I did knock a brick out of the foundation last week while we were entertaining a gentleman against the side wall of the site  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"oh and ps not every single person is on here for the same reason. I would like to point you to the section on the page to forums. Now if people use their little brains all you got to do is search these and you will find countless of forums asking why they cant get meets etc so dont try giving me that crap that everyone is on here for different reasons. Next point i would like to make is stop moaning that the site is crap if no body will help to find solutions to make the site better. Personally i think it is people like you that has damaged this site so much that it no longer works.
Works wonderfully for us, and looking the evidence, for nicecouple too...just wondering what it is you think they and "people like them" have done to damage the site?
I did knock a brick out of the foundation last week while we were entertaining a gentleman against the side wall of the site "
Oh, you people who actually meet...you're ruining it!! |
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"oh and ps not every single person is on here for the same reason. I would like to point you to the section on the page to forums. Now if people use their little brains all you got to do is search these and you will find countless of forums asking why they cant get meets etc so dont try giving me that crap that everyone is on here for different reasons. Next point i would like to make is stop moaning that the site is crap if no body will help to find solutions to make the site better. Personally i think it is people like you that has damaged this site so much that it no longer works. "
oh and by the way words on a screen have little effect on me but if I were you I'd take your status down. |
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"oh and ps not every single person is on here for the same reason. I would like to point you to the section on the page to forums. Now if people use their little brains all you got to do is search these and you will find countless of forums asking why they cant get meets etc so dont try giving me that crap that everyone is on here for different reasons. Next point i would like to make is stop moaning that the site is crap if no body will help to find solutions to make the site better. Personally i think it is people like you that has damaged this site so much that it no longer works.
Works wonderfully for us, and looking the evidence, for nicecouple too...just wondering what it is you think they and "people like them" have done to damage the site?
I did knock a brick out of the foundation last week while we were entertaining a gentleman against the side wall of the site
Oh, you people who actually meet...you're ruining it!! "
I am sorry I'll report our profile in a minute |
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