FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Turned off....

Turned off....

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Idk why (maybe i'm not sexy enough) but, although i love sex and doing it and used to like dirty chat, when anyone tries to dirty chat me or go on about looking forward to a meet i'm instantly turned off. This is with most guys, some guys i'm not and i am turned on. I like fucking them so why aren't i getting excited looking forward to meeting them? I don't even know how to reply to these messages coz i'm not in the same mindset they are.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Maybe you need more time and more of a mental connection first?

Maybe you aren't in the mood when they are? Or you dont fancy them?

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By *ympho7Couple over a year ago

swansea

I think men like sex then romance, women like romance then sex

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Think we all go through phases, I used to love chat but now see it as a means to meets rather than getting off on it. Xx

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By *nleashedCrakenMan over a year ago

Widnes

"Idk why (maybe i'm not sexy enough) but, although i love sex and doing it and used to like dirty chat, when anyone tries to dirty chat me or go on about looking forward to a meet i'm instantly turned off. This is with most guys, some guys i'm not and i am turned on. I like fucking them so why aren't i getting excited looking forward to meeting them? I don't even know how to reply to these messages coz i'm not in the same mindset they are."

I guess it's because you've got used to it. The excitement has gone from simple chats and messages.

I know when I first started using sites I used to love dirty chats and messages. The more dirty, filthy and suggestive they were the better. Now I hardly ever do dirty chats and if I do it's really more of a chore I'm going through in the hope of something more. (Hope some on here don't read that. LOL)

I still enjoy gently suggestive messages but find little fun in the overly overt sex ones any longer.

I guess we all just change with time and experience.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I like the romance first. when I'm texting a friend. it's flirty first, then he gets dirty

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

There's a lot of sensible and helpful answers in here, and i agree with them.

I was not in the mood mainly, but even when i was as soon as i got a text about what i was looking forward to i went off the idea. I'm the least romantic person i know haha, definitely don't need it, although i am quite affectionate so might be needing that. Think it is a phase yeah, i am taking a step back on here and bitchified my profile so people don't message me lol. I still enjoy some dirty chat but i agree the overt ones are a complete turn off- especially if it's the guy focusing on himself, and flirting would be nice sometimes too.

Thankyou all for your replies they did help and i'll be sure to come back to this topic to read it and remind myself why next time i feel this way. I'm gonna be on here less as well, was getting bored and coming on here for no real reason except boredom. Don't think giving out my number helped either, means i can be moithered at any time, but i set my phone to silent all the time and never notice texts/messages for ages anyway oops haha.

I mostly ignored my inbox for a few days and felt a lot less bothered about it, think it was stressing me out tbh and i felt very demanded of when i just wanted to chill out and relax.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We totally get turned off when we get messages full of what they want to do , how the meet may pan out etc....

The air of mystery and spontaneous fun on the meet itself is ruined by the talk and chat .

On can't help thinking about what's been said pre meet during it , so we avoid any talk if what's likely to happen .

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We totally get turned off when we get messages full of what they want to do , how the meet may pan out etc....

The air of mystery and spontaneous fun on the meet itself is ruined by the talk and chat .

On can't help thinking about what's been said pre meet during it , so we avoid any talk if what's likely to happen .

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By *ordgirlWoman over a year ago

Stockport

"There's a lot of sensible and helpful answers in here, and i agree with them.

I mostly ignored my inbox for a few days and felt a lot less bothered about it, think it was stressing me out tbh and i felt very demanded of when i just wanted to chill out and relax. "

I've found that some guys just want to talk dirty full stop. They talk the talk but don't walk the walk. For that reason I limit the dirty chat online as it often leads nowhere. I'd rather be doing it than talking about it

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By *ancs MinxWoman over a year ago

Burnley

"There's a lot of sensible and helpful answers in here, and i agree with them.

I mostly ignored my inbox for a few days and felt a lot less bothered about it, think it was stressing me out tbh and i felt very demanded of when i just wanted to chill out and relax.

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By *arry247Couple over a year ago

Wakefield

Action speaks louder than words

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By *icentiousCouple over a year ago

Up on them there hills

Dirty chat doesn't do it here either. Now the underlaying hint of innuendo, that's a different story.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I find that the build up is sometimes a lot more important than the act itself. And the feeling of being wanted is important to me and to her.

Whenever I have a meet, I try and let her message me if she wants to engage in dirty talk. I, like most men, could talk like it all the time.

But its best when there is a element of passion and lust involved. And having that feeling is great.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Awww I'm the same really....as far as the dirty talk goes especially, women can often assume that a guy likes it when personally I find it a bit of a turn off, it somehow nearly always feels contrived and I can't help thinking 'oh do shut up'

Even during a meet, I get nothing but the need to laugh when folk start with the dirty talk, what a turn off....there are few who can do it well yet there are many who try

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By *nleashedCrakenMan over a year ago

Widnes

"There's a lot of sensible and helpful answers in here, and i agree with them.

I mostly ignored my inbox for a few days and felt a lot less bothered about it, think it was stressing me out tbh and i felt very demanded of when i just wanted to chill out and relax. "

Sorry to hear your not going to as active in the forums as you have been. I've enjoyed reading your posts and will definitely miss them.

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By *nleashedCrakenMan over a year ago

Widnes

"Awww I'm the same really....as far as the dirty talk goes especially, women can often assume that a guy likes it when personally I find it a bit of a turn off, it somehow nearly always feels contrived and I can't help thinking 'oh do shut up'"

Even during a meet, I get nothing but the need to laugh when folk start with the dirty talk, what a turn off....there are few who can do it well yet there are many who try"

But I still quite enjoy a few dirty words when playing

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think some build it up and build it up to the point where I just think that no matter what it'll be an anti-climax...or there are some that seem to want me to give precise instruction on how the meet should go and how to make me orgasm when there is no specific technique. For me, when I can feel the spontaneity being sucked out of the fun I lose interest as, although I may need to plan the when and where, I like the what to be unscripted. Not sure if that's what you're experiencing, but I've gone cold on a few times when they've just been too keen or made me feel like I should come with a manual

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Maybe it's all too serious, and a little humour needed to lighten the mood.

From the messages we get most get very serious and lack any sense of fun.

A bit of banter can work wonders in relaxing one.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've been on sex sites for years and have heard every line you can imagine from cringeworthy innuendos to downright offensive. We just get used to it/immune to it. Its not even a turn off for me, it just completely leaves me cold.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Jools switches off completely when guy's start to go into waffle mode, rambling on about undoing buttons, sensual blah blah, suck on tits for hours blah blah.

If she wanted mills and boon she would read a book.

As a man I have learned alot from watching other guy's the way they talk to jools. Basically how not to seduce a woman.

From observations most assume women are gullible morons who fall for the bullshit.

The successful guy's are the ones who treat her /us with honesty and intelligence.

You are the best looking fem on here, truly stunning. I mean it I think you are and I don't say it to anyone else

Bollox!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've been on sex sites for years and have heard every line you can imagine from cringeworthy innuendos to downright offensive. We just get used to it/immune to it. Its not even a turn off for me, it just completely leaves me cold. "
ive often been doin house chores or making dinner whilst dirty chatting to horny women who get off on dirty chat it can be boring for men too

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"There's a lot of sensible and helpful answers in here, and i agree with them.

I mostly ignored my inbox for a few days and felt a lot less bothered about it, think it was stressing me out tbh and i felt very demanded of when i just wanted to chill out and relax.

Sorry to hear your not going to as active in the forums as you have been. I've enjoyed reading your posts and will definitely miss them."

Thanks. I'm a fast typer haha so you'll still see me around a fair bit, but with way more grammar mistakes probably.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Nice to see some men don't even like this stuff, as well as women.

And yeah i come online to relax, i don't like being made demands of really, had 4 kids and been through all that when they were toddlers and it's a huge bugbear of mine as well (had to be patient with them but don't feel like i should have to be with grown adults).

Thanks for all your comments, i have read them and agree with them and find other peoples views interesting and some of them confirm how i feel. Especially how it should be fun, bit of flirting and that, not outright crude.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Even during a meet, I get nothing but the need to laugh when folk start with the dirty talk, what a turn off....there are few who can do it well yet there are many who try

But I still quite enjoy a few dirty words when playing

Yeah, a few dirty words, in the right place and when they just happen in the moment is fine....it's more when folk sound like they're working on an 0900 number i find it a bit laughable....it's good when it's meant in the moment, but when it's because someone thinks they're good at it and it's what you want to hear...it's a no from me...

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