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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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As a complete novice/newbie or what ever the cool kids call beginners these days, one of the main concerns I have is if the actual meet doesn't go as well as planned, if one or the other are a flop, specifically if the new person is
Do those who are already in the lifestyle appreciate/remember their first time and make "allowances" if the unexpected happens.
Also when you venture into 3sums + where the same gender people or 1 of them is straight how can you know the situation wouldn't be taken advantage of?
Hope that all makes sense... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hi
I must say it's refreshing to see an open and honest profile.
Plenty of information in there for a conversational starter and those who may be interested
You will find a LOT of people will not play with you simply because you are married
The good thing is you are being open and honest about it so those who willingly play will at least have the knowledge to make an informed decision
Everyones different, there's no secret formula
My experience - i dont respond to winks as I personally consider them lazy, though i do understand others see it as a quick flirt
I like a nice message that refers to my profile so i can see you have taken time to read it, as well as a face pic to avoid wasting time chatting if there's no attraction
Good luck on here xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
My experience - i dont respond to winks as I personally consider them lazy, though i do understand others see it as a quick flirt
I like a nice message that refers to my profile so i can see you have taken time to read it, as well as a face pic to avoid wasting time chatting if there's no attraction
"
This.
Plus put some public pics up, it's a big turn off to get a mail showing the Silhouette, even if files are attached. |
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By *andcCouple
over a year ago
Cheshire and London |
"As a complete novice/newbie or what ever the cool kids call beginners these days, one of the main concerns I have is if the actual meet doesn't go as well as planned, if one or the other are a flop, specifically if the new person is
Do those who are already in the lifestyle appreciate/remember their first time and make "allowances" if the unexpected happens.
Also when you venture into 3sums + where the same gender people or 1 of them is straight how can you know the situation wouldn't be taken advantage of?
Hope that all makes sense... "
Though we have only ever met a couple of people with little or no experience we have taken that into account,but we hope we are quite relaxed when we meet people and therefore make them feel at ease.
With the 3somes etc just make sure you talk to the people involved, about your preferences/limits and also check theirs too. Remember most experienced swingers will respect your limits/wishes and if they don't just say NO!
Finally don't worry too much, everyone was a newbie once, take it at your own pace, remember it is supposed to be fun! |
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i remember when we started out we chatted between ourselves about what boundaries we had during the proposed meet. We would then ask the other people if they had any no no's so we didnt get any surprises!
Just try to relax and remember we were all newbies once. Have fun  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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personaly what ever your reasons, in our eyes a cheater is a cheater, and we dont think thats what swinging is about, however at least your honest and have a good profile.
just think, how would ou feel if you found out your wife was on here and had had meets without telling you??? |
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"
just think, how would ou feel if you found out your wife was on here and had had meets without telling you???"
I'd *love* it - at least I would know that she really hadn't gone off sex. Only sex with me. Maybe I could then be honest - with the possibility of us jopining the swinging scene 'for real'.
Jealousy isn't one of my traits. |
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"i remember when we started out we chatted between ourselves about what boundaries we had during the proposed meet. We would then ask the other people if they had any no no's so we didnt get any surprises!
Just try to relax and remember we were all newbies once. Have fun "
Spot on! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Take no notice of the 'no pic' advice.
The bloody idealists on here amuse me no end.
Look at the pics of others. Tits, arses, fannies , cocks, hood, helmets , arse holes, hats,........
Face ? sometimes ...
Jesus ... Ive just had some bloke tell me off in PM for not having a pic ... I was looking up his arse hole !! ( pic of course ) and i think he was |
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Even “experienced” swingers are still nervous when it comes to meeting people they've never meet previously
The art is “communication” I've mentioned many times, it takes communication and respecting boundaries for 4 people to click sexually, once that hurdle is conquered, one shouldn't encounter “difficulties” on a meet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I remeber my first swinging meet about 4 years ago, the lead up was the most terrifying experience of my life, shaking, heart beating out of my chest, sweating. But it was exciting. Everyone is nervous, but a good nervous feeling. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Take no notice of the 'no pic' advice.
The bloody idealists on here amuse me no end.
Look at the pics of others. Tits, arses, fannies , cocks, hood, helmets , arse holes, hats,........
Face ? sometimes ...
Jesus ... Ive just had some bloke tell me off in PM for not having a pic ... I was looking up his arse hole !! ( pic of course ) and i think he was "
Lol. On the money again Granny  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
just think, how would ou feel if you found out your wife was on here and had had meets without telling you??? I'd *love* it - at least I would know that she really hadn't gone off sex. Only sex with me. Maybe I could then be honest - with the possibility of us jopining the swinging scene 'for real'.
Jealousy isn't one of my traits."
what i dont understand is why is it a lot of people are up in arms if a guy comes on here who is married and looking for a meet either socially or more but it seems perfectly ok for a woman to do it if she has an arse of a hubby who neglects her and makes her feel unattractive? and even if she isnt and is just 'cheating' a lot of people see it as just a bit of fun.
believe it or not blokes are in the same situation too of being neglected. and like whistler you end up thinking its something we have done wrong.
we all have needs in life whether blokes or women and if people want to wag their finger and tut without knowing the full story then tough.
as grannycrumpet mentioned about people having a go about users having no pic but they have an arsehole pic on theirs, why then have a go at a guy or woman in a staid relationship wanting to meet someone when some people meet loads of others and have 3sums or moresomes every other week?
everybody is entitled to how they live their life and must accept any consequences as a result. if not then dont do it. |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"As a complete novice/newbie or what ever the cool kids call beginners these days, one of the main concerns I have is if the actual meet doesn't go as well as planned, if one or the other are a flop, specifically if the new person is
Do those who are already in the lifestyle appreciate/remember their first time and make "allowances" if the unexpected happens.
Also when you venture into 3sums + where the same gender people or 1 of them is straight how can you know the situation wouldn't be taken advantage of?
Hope that all makes sense... "
Nerves can get the better of anyone at a meet, so I don't think any person would make another feel bad if they couldn't perform once in a while. If you are going to worry about it before you get there then it may become a problem though.
You need to be able to trust the people you are about to meet and set any bounderies beforehand, including the fact that you are straight.
Good luck
The thing I can't understand about this thread is, what the hell has his marital status got anything to do with his questions?
It is almost like some people just scour posters profiles to pull apart and attack rather than answer what people are asking.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Thats true. If we were on here to be judged we may as well be in church instead.
We are all here to have fun in our own way. No matter what our age status etc. As long as its no illegal and its consensual to all parties then let people be! |
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"
just think, how would ou feel if you found out your wife was on here and had had meets without telling you??? I'd *love* it - at least I would know that she really hadn't gone off sex. Only sex with me. Maybe I could then be honest - with the possibility of us jopining the swinging scene 'for real'.
Jealousy isn't one of my traits. what i dont understand is why is it a lot of people are up in arms if a guy comes on here who is married and looking for a meet either socially or more but it seems perfectly ok for a woman to do it if she has an arse of a hubby who neglects her and makes her feel unattractive? and even if she isnt and is just 'cheating' a lot of people see it as just a bit of fun.
believe it or not blokes are in the same situation too of being neglected. and like whistler you end up thinking its something we have done wrong.
we all have needs in life whether blokes or women and if people want to wag their finger and tut without knowing the full story then tough.
as grannycrumpet mentioned about people having a go about users having no pic but they have an arsehole pic on theirs, why then have a go at a guy or woman in a staid relationship wanting to meet someone when some people meet loads of others and have 3sums or moresomes every other week?
everybody is entitled to how they live their life and must accept any consequences as a result. if not then dont do it. "
I really wish there was a smiley icon clapping his hands, as I'd be using it right now.
Great post - I agree completely with what you said. |
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being nervous is normal. I still get nervous meeting people for the first time, and sometimes several times after that. Fact is once you've got past the first five minutes or so it's fine.
Treat it just as you would if you were going to a vanilla party, or meeting people in a non sexual environment. Might help the nerves. |
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