FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > should i stay or should i go?
should i stay or should i go?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I am a married man. I have been on hear a while, i caught my wife txting another guy about 2 years again and she said there was nothing in it but if i did not catch her would she have went further?. I joined this site as our sex life is not great i has a high sex drive and she is always tired. We do have kids and i am working alot to try and support us. But she seems to thing inam never there under my choice.
I love her alot but we seem to have lost any contact with eachother she is constantly on her mobile and on facebook and even if i want sex i have to try and blackmail her by trying to buy her a dress ect. Is this healthy or should i leave would it be best for the kids ect as i am not happy at all. Has anyone else been in the same situation? Xx |
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By *anSusieCouple
over a year ago
Midlothian |
You have 3 choices:
1. Stay and things remain as they are
2. Stay and change things
3. leave
You make your own choice but it will have to be from the above list.
If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always got |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You have 3 choices:
1. Stay and things remain as they are
2. Stay and change things
3. leave
You make your own choice but it will have to be from the above list.
If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always got"
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By *gNeMan
over a year ago
Harrogate |
"I am a married man. I have been on hear a while, i caught my wife txting another guy about 2 years again and she said there was nothing in it but if i did not catch her would she have went further?. I joined this site as our sex life is not great i has a high sex drive and she is always tired. We do have kids and i am working alot to try and support us. But she seems to thing inam never there under my choice.
I love her alot but we seem to have lost any contact with eachother she is constantly on her mobile and on facebook and even if i want sex i have to try and blackmail her by trying to buy her a dress ect. Is this healthy or should i leave would it be best for the kids ect as i am not happy at all. Has anyone else been in the same situation? Xx"
If I were in your shoes, i'd have a very frank talk with her, and say something along the lines of "i'm going to stay for the kid's sake, but i shall be looking for sex elsewhere and feel free to do the same". By the sounds of it she already is. Facebook kills relationships, it's a horrendous piece of software. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Keep things as they are.
Do it for your kids.
You aren't tearing lumps out of each other and it's selfish and niaive to think sex is everything.
It's important but family, a home life, stability is just as important. Not to mention she will take you to the cleaners financially.
Get couples counselling but dont throw it away for sex.
It isnt worth it mate.
PM me if you want to chat. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am a married man. I have been on hear a while, i caught my wife txting another guy about 2 years again and she said there was nothing in it but if i did not catch her would she have went further?. I joined this site as our sex life is not great i has a high sex drive and she is always tired. We do have kids and i am working alot to try and support us. But she seems to thing inam never there under my choice.
I love her alot but we seem to have lost any contact with eachother she is constantly on her mobile and on facebook and even if i want sex i have to try and blackmail her by trying to buy her a dress ect. Is this healthy or should i leave would it be best for the kids ect as i am not happy at all. Has anyone else been in the same situation? Xx"
Why not get a babysitter for a night, surprise the wife and take her out somewhere nice/make her feel like a queen for a night make her feel wanted and respected instead of blackmailing her? We are in reverse to you, she works 5-7days a week atm while he looks after our child - just how it is, we take the time out once a month to have a night just the two of us, if that's the only night we have sex so be it, raising children and working are both hard work. but if you jeopardise your relationship telling her you'll be looking for sex elsewhere it could go horribly wrong - have a very open talk with her but we'd advise leaving fab while doing it or at least hide the profile until you and the Mrs have sorted something out. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Talk with her. From what you say it sounds like she could be feeling the same way. Ive been i your shoes and my kids were 10 amd four at the time. He cheated and got caught and believe me that was harder to deal with in stead of a conversation. Time goes so fast you either sort it out now or call it a day otherwise you will be ten years older and will lookback with possible regrets.
One question to ask yrself which worked for me....do you still fancy her. If its a quick yes and you didnt need to think about the question then thats summat that cld contribute to making an effort if its no then do something bout it. However of she is playing around too then it wont matter what you feel.
Good luck and hppe its works out best for you all |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Keep things as they are.
Do it for your kids.
You aren't tearing lumps out of each other and it's selfish and niaive to think sex is everything.
It's important but family, a home life, stability is just as important. Not to mention she will take you to the cleaners financially.
Get couples counselling but dont throw it away for sex.
It isnt worth it mate.
PM me if you want to chat."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sounds like she is already looking elsewhere...just have an honest and open conversation about the best way forward for both of you....
I was cheated on by an ex via facebook  |
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There's a Clash of dreams and expectations here....talk to her after you've shown her some interest.
I remember seeing my first social media update and it said something like 'on facebook' - no shit, Sherlock. And the second said something like 'gone shopping' and that's when my dullards alert said 'forget it, steve, stay analogue'. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am a married man. I have been on hear a while, i caught my wife txting another guy about 2 years again and she said there was nothing in it but if i did not catch her would she have went further?. I joined this site as our sex life is not great i has a high sex drive and she is always tired. We do have kids and i am working alot to try and support us. But she seems to thing inam never there under my choice.
I love her alot but we seem to have lost any contact with eachother she is constantly on her mobile and on facebook and even if i want sex i have to try and blackmail her by trying to buy her a dress ect. Is this healthy or should i leave would it be best for the kids ect as i am not happy at all. Has anyone else been in the same situation? Xx
If I were in your shoes, i'd have a very frank talk with her, and say something along the lines of "i'm going to stay for the kid's sake, but i shall be looking for sex elsewhere and feel free to do the same". By the sounds of it she already is. Facebook kills relationships, it's a horrendous piece of software. "
Nothing to do with Facebook, her choice to use it |
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By *arry247Couple
over a year ago
Wakefield |
"I am a married man. I have been on hear a while, i caught my wife txting another guy about 2 years again and she said there was nothing in it but if i did not catch her would she have went further?. I joined this site as our sex life is not great i has a high sex drive and she is always tired. We do have kids and i am working alot to try and support us. But she seems to thing inam never there under my choice.
I love her alot but we seem to have lost any contact with eachother she is constantly on her mobile and on facebook and even if i want sex i have to try and blackmail her by trying to buy her a dress ect. Is this healthy or should i leave would it be best for the kids ect as i am not happy at all. Has anyone else been in the same situation? Xx"
What we cannot understand is why are you moaning about your wife?
You are cheating on her why should she not cheat on you?
Grow up get some balls and talk to her!
Communicate with each other and find out what you each want from your relationship and how to proceed. |
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Theres a lot saying stay for tge kids sake as its not worth hurting them, as a former child in this situation me and my siblings always knew things werent right, never under estimate how perseptive children are, we were all a lot happier after my parents seperated as we knew they were truely happy, they became better parents because of it |
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By *ee331Man
over a year ago
Wolverton |
Staying in a relationship just for the kids isn't the best thing to do. I've recently split up from my wife and the kids have taken it quite well. They get 2 lots of birthday and Christmas presents and they get 2 holidays.
It is difficult in the beginning but I'm glad we were adult about it and that we sought counselling and discussed the reasons why we were splitting up to ensure that the decision to split was the best decision for both of us.
You'll receive supportive advice from friends and people on here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's intersting to get opinions but I wouldnt take advice from random strangers on such an important individual matter.
Only you know your true situation and how it would affect your family if you were to split, children and finance wise. |
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