FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Barebacking Strangers ....

Barebacking Strangers ....

By *onyMad123 OP Couple over a year ago

nottingham/ derby

Sorry but this makes me feel phyically ill ...

Admitadly we are not hard core swingers, but think its just very stupid and cant understand why anyone would take that risk !!!!!!!!

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Then perhaps this is not the site for you, many things take place during sex which some people find off putting but physically sick

Your ok with scat then, don't mind the thought of people pissing on each other, gas masks worn during sex turn you on ?

Might be better to just not think about the things you don't like and let people live thier lives they way they want to.

Jed and Sasha (safe sex only couple)

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

There is a thread about this in swingers chat...

If you dont agree with it then pass those profiles by.

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By *onyMad123 OP Couple over a year ago

nottingham/ derby

its the whole chances with strangers i dont get, not the physical aspect, with my own long term partner i can understand but wuth someone you have never met and have no idea where or who had been there before, that is what makes me feel sick !!! why would you take such risks for simple pleasure ???

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By *onyMad123 OP Couple over a year ago

nottingham/ derby

yes but scat and pee even though not my cup of tea, sureley you are not going to contract something potential life threatening and harmful to others x

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"yes but scat and pee even though not my cup of tea, sureley you are not going to contract something potential life threatening and harmful to others x"

Do you have unprotective oral sex?

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By *onyMad123 OP Couple over a year ago

nottingham/ derby

only with clean people thats dont bb and my OH and not to completion with anyone other than my OH, and not if i have a ulcer or sore gums ....... slight difference to getting filled with strange potentially infected sperm surley

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By *eizvollWoman over a year ago

in my own little world :-)

"only with clean people thats dont bb and my OH and not to completion with anyone other than my OH, and not if i have a ulcer or sore gums ....... slight difference to getting filled with strange potentially infected sperm surley "

How do you know they are clean???

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Mo chance,you can still catch sti's through oral sex.

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By *onyMad123 OP Couple over a year ago

nottingham/ derby

why as im very selective !!!!!!!! and dont go with many anyway and all those are safe and not people i have just met once !

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By *onyMad123 OP Couple over a year ago

nottingham/ derby

Far less risky in my opnion !!!!!!!! maybe im just being prudish but surley we have a duty to protect ourselfs and the reputation of swinging and this just in MY opnion when people do this, just paints what everyone else on the outside thinks to swinging and clubs !

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"why as im very selective !!!!!!!! and dont go with many anyway and all those are safe and not people i have just met once ! "

Thants ok then,so you think because you are very selective then you wont catch anything through oral.

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By *onyMad123 OP Couple over a year ago

nottingham/ derby

i hope not as i minimise the risks as much as possible and dont activly take risks !!!!!!! It is a bloody risky thing to go barebacking strangers which is what i am talking about ......... dont star its my opnion and think it gives swinging a bad reputation, you have unprotected with one person with chlaymidia or worse and then with 10 more people thats how things spread ...... Oral is much less risky all the same i minimise my risks !!!

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By *eizvollWoman over a year ago

in my own little world :-)

"why as im very selective !!!!!!!! and dont go with many anyway and all those are safe and not people i have just met once ! "

Surely anyone is only as safe as their last check? And only on the date it was taken too. They may have played with an infected partner since then.

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By *onyMad123 OP Couple over a year ago

nottingham/ derby

will say it again i dont have hundreds i have a select few AND only orally which is far LESS risky than unprotected penetrative sex which is what we are talking about. so stop trying to turn it round and give some reasons why for a small amount of pleasure you would let someone fuck you and come in you that you didnt know, it is just horrible full stop, i love the sensation with My OH, but can tell you sommat its a risk i wont take with anyone else and cant understand why others would so why not explain rather than twist it about

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By *eizvollWoman over a year ago

in my own little world :-)

"will say it again i dont have hundreds i have a select few AND only orally which is far LESS risky than unprotected penetrative sex which is what we are talking about. so stop trying to turn it round and give some reasons why for a small amount of pleasure you would let someone fuck you and come in you that you didnt know, it is just horrible full stop, i love the sensation with My OH, but can tell you sommat its a risk i wont take with anyone else and cant understand why others would so why not explain rather than twist it about"

Because anyone on here is an adult and therefore entitled to make their own choices. It's their choice whether to play bareback, it's their choice whether to play with someone who they know has played bareback in the past, it's their choice whether to have sex with strangers or not. Like everything on here, there are preferences and if something appeals to you then go for it - if it doesn't pass it by.

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Im not trying to twist anything,was just pointing out that not just bareback which carries risks...

At the end of the day there is nothing you can do about it all you can do is avoid people who do.

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Agreed,people should be able to do as they please as long as its legal without other people preaching what swingers should/shouldnt be doing.

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It is all about personal choice. There are things that I really would never move the goal posts for.. Interacial for one.. but I would not be nasty to someone.

Barebacking is a bit like riding a fast bike to its top speed.. its a risk and a thrill.. that is why people do it..

Not saying I condone it, just saying that its why to many it is appealing.

I just leave others to do what they want.. If I dont like a profile they get a thanks but no thanks.

The only safe sex is no sex.

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Oh it was Katie answering btw. :D

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By *umourCouple over a year ago

Northants

"why as im very selective !!!!!!!! and dont go with many anyway and all those are safe and not people i have just met once !

Surely anyone is only as safe as their last check? And only on the date it was taken too. They may have played with an infected partner since then.

That is only partially true! Accoring to the GUM nurse we see, you would have to abstain from sex for about three months before the test and not have any sexual contact after to be as sure as you can be! Only then can you tell the other person that you are clean!

It would appear that some nasties such as HIV can take a couple of months to show on a test! All we can do as swingers is "Best Practice". Try to minimise the risk although we can never negate the risk altogether.

No one we know use dental dams for oral sex! Neither do we, so there is risk one! Unprotected body parts such as fingers and tongues can transfer nasties from one fem to another during play.

Could go on, but sure you get the picture. The only safe sex is no sex! You don't live any longer, just seems like it!!

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By *onyMad123 OP Couple over a year ago

nottingham/ derby

Thanks for the replies, of course people can do what they want it is just trying to understand why, i wouldnt chance crossing a live train track for a thrill, just cannot get my head round why people would deliberatly endanger themselves .....

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By *eizvollWoman over a year ago

in my own little world :-)

"Thanks for the replies, of course people can do what they want it is just trying to understand why, i wouldnt chance crossing a live train track for a thrill, just cannot get my head round why people would deliberatly endanger themselves ....."

And yet you smoke (not picking on you, I do too). That is a risk that a non-smoker wouldn't understand.

We all take risks in life, but we have to calculate what we are prepared to accept as a 'reasonable' risk to enjoy life the way we see fit.

There are always differing opinions, wouldn't it be boring if we were all the same.

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Because its the most basic human instinct we have??

Katie..

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By *onyMad123 OP Couple over a year ago

nottingham/ derby

im down as a smoker but i social smoke never everyday and yes its a risk but that may kill me i wouldnt make others breathe in my smoke ..... or smoke in a confinded space ...... OH smokes more and wish he wouldnt, i suppose i ride horses is dangerous too BUT im not risking passing that onto anyone else or infecting anyone else, wont say hurting anyone else as if my horse treads on your foot it will hurt you but not irreparably ..

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Your naivety is scary!!

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The simple fact is that it only takes one person to be infected, you could safely have sex with a thousand people this week and still come out of it STI free, but next week you could have sex with one person and catch something.

Yes it is about eliminating the risks but personally I think you are in more danger than me, because I may have more partners but I don't trust any of them and get regular checks. As someone has said even this has it's problems, you need to ask specifically at many GUM clinics for an oral test as they don't all do them as standard, results usually take 2 weeks to come through unless you pay for a rapid result service as many people do in the porn industry.

We don't play bareback, we won't play with anyone that does even if they offer to play safe, but the risks are there all the same and it is better to be "very aware" of that

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By *yclopMan over a year ago

belfast

Amongst the most sensible responses on this subject I've seen on this site.

But some of us are still too naive about how protective condoms are.

There is no such thing as safe sex.

We all need to have check-ups.

I've just written about this at more length on the other "bareback" thread.

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

And you cant be selective. The simple fact is that if someone thinks saying they do bareback will stop you giving them oral, they will just tell you they never do bareback.

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"And you cant be selective. The simple fact is that if someone thinks saying they do bareback will stop you giving them oral, they will just tell you they never do bareback."

listerine after blowjobs..(top tip ) honest boss

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By *habsMan over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

Two things come to mind:

1) You don't need to sleep with hundreds to be at risk - it only takes ONE infected person.

2) You're only as selective as the person has been honest with you - you could be so selective to only play with 2 and (may or may not) have unprotected sex with those two... now refer to point 1 above

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By *habsMan over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

Okay, here's a thought (in general) with regards to sex (in general), bareback (subject matter) and humans takign calculated risks:

Whether its oral only, soft-play or full penetrative sex. No matter how well you know the person or your individual sexual histories... would you sleep with someone you thought there was the slightest chance they could have something, even if you both had protection? Think about it.

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By *heWolfMan over a year ago

warwickshire

"yes but scat and pee even though not my cup of tea, sureley you are not going to contract something potential life threatening and harmful to others x"

Hepatitis and HIV for starters.

Although, anyone who poos on me is going to find themselves in a life threatening situation very quickly.

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By *andcCouple over a year ago

Cheshire and London

Surely anyone is only as safe as their last check? And only on the date it was taken too. They may have played with an infected partner since then.

This statement is not true! even if you have a clear test result you can still be infected! it can take serveral months for HIV to show in test results so if you get infected and have a test a couple of months later you can show has negative, but you may still infect others!

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It's a complex subject this one but to keep it short Try not to have unprotected sex, get tested regular and if you do find out that you've caught a nasty ffs suck it up and get back in touch with the people that you might have passed it on to. We all owe it to eachother in the lifestyle to be as clean as we can be. I've seen a lady being fisted once at a club and she was cut to ribbons by the other ladys rings. Blood alover the poor ladys legs, don't think a condom would have helped there if HIV was present. We all have a duty to be more aware of what were doing while in play.

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By *andcCouple over a year ago

Cheshire and London

"....but can tell you sommat its a risk i wont take with anyone else and cant understand why others would so why not explain rather than twist it about"

Some people jump out of planes, others ride motorcycles at 150 mph....I wouldn't jump out of a plane but I would ride a bike at 150 mph!!! Some people think some thinks are exciting, others think they are stupid! The fact there is a danger there can be just cause to do it, it makes thing exciting! Also taboo things can also be very exciting, that's why some people are voyeurs. Just a few reasons IMHO why people may do bareback.

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Not sure how the act of sex can make someone physically ill, regardless of how its performed, it’s a strange place this, especially so when the majority of people outside swinging would look down more on people who swing rather than Joe Blogs who never wore a condom with his d*unken one night stand.

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By *onyMad123 OP Couple over a year ago

nottingham/ derby

its not the act when you gonna get this into your skull just said that its the whole actually dirtyness of not giving a monkeys whose sperm you have in you that its SICK !!!!

Understand what i mean yet, some people on here got a warped sense of a thrill i tell you !!!!

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Okay can I add a hypothetical question..

If STD's did not exsist.. Would barebacking someone be such an issue???

Just wondering if its the risk that is disgusting to the orginal poster, or the fact that they want to take a strangers cum inside them..

I can see the point of being safe for the risk factor...

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By *andcCouple over a year ago

Cheshire and London

Understand what i mean yet, some people on here got a warped sense of a thrill i tell you !!!!"

But whats that got to do with you? If you don't like it ignore it, doesn't matter what you say.. people will always do bareback..and that's their choice.

I don't believe in god but I'm not campaigning to shut all churches down.. that's up to them.

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

"its not the act when you gonna get this into your skull just said that its the whole actually dirtyness of not giving a monkeys whose sperm you have in you that its SICK !!!!

Understand what i mean yet, some people on here got a warped sense of a thrill i tell you !!!!"

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By *iewMan over a year ago
Forum Mod

Angus & Findhorn

isn't everyone we meet on here strangers ?

I ain't met my cousin 3 times removed.

if you want to bareback ..BAREBACK

if you don't .... DON'T

just have the decency to be truthful either way... then folks can make an INFORMED CHOICE.

always goes back to people being HONEST

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"its not the act when you gonna get this into your skull just said that its the whole actually dirtyness of not giving a monkeys whose sperm you have in you that its SICK !!!!

Understand what i mean yet, some people on here got a warped sense of a thrill i tell you !!!!"

I clearly understand what you mean, but on the same note why would anyone put a strangers willy in their mouth?

Hypothetically speaking, if you did have bareback sex with a stranger, what disease would you give the other person?

Not for one minute trying to condone bareback sex, everyone should take steps to lower the risks, but when you read these threads it seems that anyone who has ever had bareback sex must have an STD or HIV

What bothers me is that a bunch of open-minded adults feel the need to tell people what they should and shouldn’t be doing, especially when its something that’s perfectly legal, if someone was to post on the forums saying the thought of people having bisexual intercourse made them physically sick they would be branded homophobes and most likely banned, yet when you see these type of threads people can say anything they like and throw all kinds of assumptions around without a word being said.

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I clearly understand what you mean, but on the same note why would anyone put a strangers willy in their mouth?

Hypothetically speaking, if you did have bareback sex with a stranger, what disease would you give the other person?

That is a very good point...

The thing with this is, unprotected sex is something that happens a lot, I would say more so with people that don't swing.

If its not your thing then don't do it. Yet I would say an awful lot of people must not do it, the amount of times we get asked if its a safe sex meet or not.

Katie. x

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Would not do it myself....

Each to their own

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By *habsMan over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

I clearly understand what you mean, but on the same note why would anyone put a strangers willy in their mouth?

Hypothetically speaking, if you did have bareback sex with a stranger, what disease would you give the other person?

That is a very good point...

The thing with this is, unprotected sex is something that happens a lot, I would say more so with people that don't swing.

If its not your thing then don't do it. Yet I would say an awful lot of people must not do it, the amount of times we get asked if its a safe sex meet or not.

Katie. x"

Exactly! Like the guy that said I could shag his wife, piss on her do her anally, cumin her mouth... but he'd lamp me one if I dared kiss her as kissing strangers is disgusting!

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By *eizvollWoman over a year ago

in my own little world :-)

"Exactly! Like the guy that said I could shag his wife, piss on her do her anally, cumin her mouth... but he'd lamp me one if I dared kiss her as kissing strangers is disgusting!"

You want to kiss her as well??? You pervert!!!

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By *habsMan over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

"Exactly! Like the guy that said I could shag his wife, piss on her do her anally, cumin her mouth... but he'd lamp me one if I dared kiss her as kissing strangers is disgusting!

You want to kiss her as well??? You pervert!!!

Life's too short to be innocent

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By *ummy mummyWoman over a year ago

southampton-ish

"Exactly! Like the guy that said I could shag his wife, piss on her do her anally, cumin her mouth... but he'd lamp me one if I dared kiss her as kissing strangers is disgusting!

You want to kiss her as well??? You pervert!!!

Life's too short to be innocent

oh don't worry...you are far from it...hehehe

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By *onyMad123 OP Couple over a year ago

nottingham/ derby

Have no objection to The Acts Mentioned and in Long Term relationships and trusted relationships understandable.... so thats just for the record

its the whole with strangers bit that disgusts me as to why people would endanger themselves, i am not saying people cant do it but dont you think that people that do do it give a wrong impression, particularly those frequenting clubs ????

I protect myself to the maximum degree, i dont have LOTS of partners at all, and am aware condoms can split and oral transmission is possible BUT far less risky, i mean would you swim in a tank of great white sharks without a cage .......

I would swim with dolphins without a cage, as FARRRRRR less risky, as with everything some risk but dont we have a duty to minimise risk........ without being a complete health and safety freakiod !!!!!! but you wouldnt weld without a mask, ride without a hat, ok some might but at the end of the day its BLOODY STUPID !

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By *aravancoupleMan over a year ago

A Secret Hideaway In the caravan of love

We say Don't be daft don't be silly put a condom on your willy.

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Have no objection to The Acts Mentioned and in Long Term relationships and trusted relationships understandable.... so thats just for the record

In YOUR opinion, which is fine, personally we always play safe, BUT this is a forum and people will have different opinions to you, you put the question out there, why are so surprised when you get opinions that differ from your own????

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By *onyMad123 OP Couple over a year ago

nottingham/ derby

"We say Don't be daft don't be silly put a condom on your willy."

Very True and Sensible

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

if you protected yourself to the maximum you would not have sex with strangers at all !

ever thought of stamp collecting?

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"its not the act when you gonna get this into your skull just said that its the whole actually dirtyness of not giving a monkeys whose sperm you have in you that its SICK !!!!

Understand what i mean yet, some people on here got a warped sense of a thrill i tell you !!!!

you have a very warped sence of whats sick!!

to me sick is forcing yourself on someone else

sick is getting turned on my minors

Aminals

etc etc

not using a condom is not really sick is it? its a sexual preference, one that we may or may not agree with

lots of people in your every day life may think people on here are sick.....i mean what kind of man would get turned on by watching his wife get fucked by another guy, what kind of women wants to lick another womans bits

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Have no objection to The Acts Mentioned and in Long Term relationships and trusted relationships understandable.... so thats just for the record

i love the way people like you defend what you do as ok, but what you dont agree with as sick lol

yeah we do unprotected oral but...but...but lol

i know many women who will only give a bj with a condom on, so would it be ok for them to come on here and call you sick, i mean after all you dont give a monkeys about whos unprotetced cock you putting in your mouth do you.....SICK lol

ok thats ment tongue in cheek but hopefull you get what i mean

you cant just go round labeling people who dont agree or do what you do

it seem odd to most of us thats people will have unprotected sex but at the end of the day people know the risks and its their bodies to take that risk

im certainly not here to label or judge others

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Have no objection to The Acts Mentioned and in Long Term relationships and trusted relationships understandable.... so thats just for the record

i love the way people like you defend what you do as ok, but what you dont agree with as sick lol

yeah we do unprotected oral but...but...but lol

ok thats ment tongue in cheek but hopefull you get what i mean

you cant just go round labeling people who dont agree or do what you do

it seem odd to most of us thats people will have unprotected sex but at the end of the day people know the risks and its their bodies to take that risk

im certainly not here to label or judge others

Thanks!! You saved me having to type out my response on my Blackberry!

Very well said!

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By *onyMad123 OP Couple over a year ago

nottingham/ derby

I dont have sex with strangers AGAIN already said this so rather than trying to make out im a hippocrate why not try and understand my reasoning end of im not saying any more said my ten penneth !!!! And stand by everything i have said so carry on twisting to your hearts content !

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple over a year ago

Bolton

You really never know 100% that your playmates are 'clean' - if something makes you feel sick then don't think about it - whatever other people want to do is their choice - we only have 'safe' sex - there are far sicker sexual practices out there than bare back! Z

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By *andcCouple over a year ago

Cheshire and London

.... ride without a hat, OK some might but at the end of the day its BLOODY STUPID !"

Stupid maybe be, but fun definitely!I like to ride a motorcycle with an illegal helmet(i.e a £15 piece of plastic), is this stupid or does it make me more aware of the dangers of riding a motorcycle! People still die wearing a £400 top of the range skid lid!

I wouldn't be so naive as to think that just because you wear a condom, only have sex with people you know, that you are immune to catching HIV.

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I dont have sex with strangers AGAIN already said this so rather than trying to make out im a hippocrate why not try and understand my reasoning end of im not saying any more said my ten penneth !!!! And stand by everything i have said so carry on twisting to your hearts content !"

You want people to understand your reasoning, yet you are unable to offer the same to people with a different opinion to yours!?!?!

So yes you are a hippocrate (sp?)

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By *ngieandMrManCouple over a year ago

hereford

Going back many years a guy that worked at the same place as me latched onto me. Got into a bit of a habit whereby he would call for me on a Saturday lunch time and we’d go for a couple of pints. Then one Saturday after the pub, as usual misses wanted to go shopping and so ‘friend’ offered to mind our two kids. This then became a habit until the guy changed jobs and we lost touch. Then the next we hear of him a few months later is when we read in the paper that he’s got a life prison sentence for the rape and attempted murder of a 12-year-old boy.

Now then… If a person/couple can inadvertently have a would be rapist murderer for a friend/child minder I’m pretty sure that some of you out there playing safe-sex with ‘people we know well’ etc. may possibly be being mislead in some cases. For example ‘straight male safe-sex ONLY EVER’ they tell you, because you’ve told them that’s what you want to hear. BUT what are they doing when they are not with you? Do you actually think that your playmate will say ‘well actually I spend most of my spare time in a gay sauna’. FFS millions of wives don’t know that hubby isn’t always actually working late at the office whereas in reality he’s in a gay bar getting his arse fucked.

Sorry OP, really think you need a reality check-up as well as a STI check-up.

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By *onyMad123 OP Couple over a year ago

nottingham/ derby

I dont think i need a STI health check as havent fucked anyone but my OH for 11 years actually, and yes have played orally etc but have been checked and am fine no im not invinciable, sorry but some of the replies are not worth replying to, all i can say is happy fucking and what goes around and karma will prevail !!!!! or should i say good luck, cos tell you sommat you will need it !

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

ohhhh right i see

so if i meet soneone 4 or 5 times is it then not sick to have unprotected sex because they are no longer strangers?

right sorry i miss read what you said i thought you was talking about not using condoms with people other than your partner not someone you had lonly just bumped into

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I dont think i need a STI health check as havent fucked anyone but my OH for 11 years actually, and yes have played orally etc but have been checked and am fine no im not invinciable, sorry but some of the replies are not worth replying to, all i can say is happy fucking and what goes around and karma will prevail !!!!! or should i say good luck, cos tell you sommat you will need it !"

That makes loads of sense, you don’t need to get checked but have been checked

Have you confused this site with facebook

Next you’ll be telling us that people who do full swing are gross!

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By *ngieandMrManCouple over a year ago

hereford

Have you confused this site with facebook

Next you’ll be telling us that people who do full swing are gross!

FUCK - that's us crossed off the Christmas card list then for a start!

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By *eizvollWoman over a year ago

in my own little world :-)

Do we not all have different levels of disgust?

For example, last year I went on holiday with (and shared a room with) a male friend. My sister thought that was disgusting - and she voiced her concerns to me, but she didn't stop talking to me, nor did she wish me ill!

(God know what she'd think if she knew that I was even registered on here - let alone meeting!!

)

Would you appreciate it if she found out what you did and told you how disgusting you were and that you were living your life in a completely immoral manner, that she wished bad things to happen to you because you are doing something that she finds incomprehensible?

And before you say she is a stranger to you - most of us on here are strangers.

Yet - you seem to think that because some people are doing something beyond your realms of comprehension, they are all sick individuals and should find themselves in an unfortunate situation.

I have read through the whole thread and the majority of posts have nor been aggressive nor have they twisted your word. It is you who have become agressive towards people who don't share the same opinion as you.

As I said before - we are all adults and therefore entitled to make our own decisions, discussing ideas can change peoples opinions, but no-bodies opinions should be forced upon others.

I wish you well, and hope that you continue to enjoy the fun that you've been having on here, and that you stay safe. I also hope that you will learn to be more tolerant of people who play in a different manner.

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By *eizvollWoman over a year ago

in my own little world :-)

Have you confused this site with facebook

Next you’ll be telling us that people who do full swing are gross!

FUCK - that's us crossed off the Christmas card list then for a start!

I'll send you a card

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Well i wouldn't do it my self but i wouldn't condone others for chose to. All i ask is that people who do indulge let me know as i would prefer not to play with people that do for reasons of my own personal health only.

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I understand all the risks involved but to me bareback sex is the only way I can orgasm whilst fucking.

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

To be honest, it sounds to me that you have issues with the whole swinging thing and not just bareback...plus your posts seem pretty aggressive.

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By *onyMad123 OP Couple over a year ago

nottingham/ derby

The only problem i have is that here we are trying to educate youngsters on safe sex or safer sex as i keep getting reminded safe sex 100% = no sex,

then you have people with multiple persons having unprotected sex, goes against all you are taught. Have no problem with swinging and people can do what they want, just i hope if people who do not wish to use a safer sex code, when and if they contract any such illness, as it is through thier own doing that they pay for it, same as smokers probably should, and mean we could go the whole hog hear and say same about larger people ( now this i can talk on as am not a stick insect), now smoking and obseity ok one can be classed as an addiction or possibly both or health implicated,

but knowingly endangering yourself for sexual pleasure, and also potentially endangering others is which i just cannot understand, the only reason i have gotten snappy back in some of my replies is that others have gotten damn right sarcastic and mega definsive over their rights to do what they want,

well do what you want just dont expect my taxes to pay for anything that you pick up ..... when there are people in the world starving and trying to get through life basically,

does anyone understand that without the sarcastic remarks, there are ways around making sex safer, and still as pleasurable, its not life or death to actually you must do it or must do it bareback, are any of you seeing this from my point of _iew ...

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By *onyMad123 OP Couple over a year ago

nottingham/ derby

and for the record just because i said i dont need one ( at the moment) doesnt mean i havent been for one !!!!!! or more try reading !

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think you will find its the way you have come across with your aggresive manner that is getting peoples back up, you will find that the majority of people agree with you over the whole safe/bareback argument.

But alot will disagree with how you can not accept the fact others will not agree with you and your i am right you are wrong attitude.

I must also agree with rugby you seem to have issues with not only bareback but swinging in general.

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I love cum lol, in my pussy, mouth, on my tits, mmmm love it!

Sorry if that makes me a bad person lol.

Each to their own, everybody have fun!xxx

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

ok people, you can either post your _iews without attacking the person or you can end up banned.

I have removed a few posts plus any that quoted them.

Pony, I think you will find a lot of people agree with what you say, but the fact you call everyone sick for doing what they want to will get barebackers plus safe sex only peoples backs up.

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By *onyMad123 OP Couple over a year ago

nottingham/ derby

Thank You i havent meant to be aprupt, just trying to understand.

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By *onyMad123 OP Couple over a year ago

nottingham/ derby

Maybe sick was the wrong choice of words, cant find an approproate word .. tell me if you find one

ewww, irresponsible, and silly spring to mind but people might _iew those as offensive as sick ??

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By *ngieandMrManCouple over a year ago

hereford

So now you are on a crusade to educate the young with regard to safe-sex but you are an active swinger! Are you a politician by any chance?

Good education starts with ‘leading by example’ not by saying one thing and then doing the opposite! As I have said before, a very key ingredient of safe sexual practice is minimal sexual playmates and being a swinger totally defies that principal.

Ok… so maybe you think that bare-backers are dirty rotten filthy disgusting irresponsible idiots who bring the whole hobby into disrepute, fair enough that’s your opinion and you are entitled to have your opinion. But if I were to say I think you are only fooling yourself into some sort of false sense of safety I’ve a feeling that won’t settle to well with you?

FACT… if you have any sort of intimate contact with another person where it might become possible for body fluids to be exchanged then you are at risk of acquiring something you might not want FACT.

I for one truly hope that what is being said to you is NOT proved to you to be right but if it ever is there will be only one thing to say… we told you so

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The only problem i have is that here we are trying to educate youngsters on safe sex or safer sex as i keep getting reminded safe sex 100% = no sex,

well do what you want just dont expect my taxes to pay for anything that you pick up ..... when there are people in the world starving and trying to get through life basically,

Wow you really are agressive and obviously dont like people having different opinions to you!

Now,we are all on a swing site and all over the age of 18 so if you dont like it or it repulses you that much pass them by... Simple really!

Before you hid your profile i saw you had quite a few verifacations yet you say you are safe,how do you know 100% you are??

And as for saying some people have gotten mega sarcastic over their rights to do whayever they want... Guess what they can as they are all consenting adults!

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By *onyMad123 OP Couple over a year ago

nottingham/ derby

Hid my profile as found it strange that go alot of people looking just for the sake of it, yes my verifications are all ok, and maybe my experience limited, but can assure you have done my homework, lets keep this back on track again rather than attacking an individual,

i havent ATTACKED anyone merly posted a concern regarding a small group of individuals doing something that i find in the words above irresponsible ........ particularly in the club envirnment with strangers as what the topic is about.

Agreesive NO ... Opinionated ... Yes

Sensible 99% of the time, and only when i decide i must have a new pair of shoes that i dont need !!!!

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By *ngieandMrManCouple over a year ago

hereford

"i havent ATTACKED anyone merly posted a concern regarding a small group of individuals doing something that i find in the words above irresponsible ........ particularly in the club envirnment with strangers as what the topic is about."

SMALL group!!! Irresponsible!!! Once again, who are you trying to fool, yourself or us lot? The fact of being a swinger is 'irresponsible' in light of the concept of practicing safe-sex. Therefore by being an active swinger you are yourself acting in an irresponsible way in _iew of a key part of practicing safe-sex.

This is exactly why discussions on this matter often blow-up into a row in forums whereby the pro-safe-sex condom brigade try to preach the moral high ground like they are some how exempt from contamination! This is total RUBBISH! Your CHANCES of not catching something MIGHT be better than someone who goes bare-back BUT it only takes ONE totally invisible bit of STI to do the job.

One person could have 1000 sexual events with males and females without using a condom and never pick up an STI. On the other hand a 16-year-old virgin could get full blown AIDS from their first ever encounter. Disgusting - irresponsible - NO just very bad luck. Would a condom have saved this person, well it might have if they only had a quick fuck but probably not if they did other things.

It's like saying 'I'm a safe driver because I only ignore speed limits one day a month' For THAT person once a month is safer than doing it everyday.

Now if someone hiding behind a condom has sex with a different person every day how does that compare with someone who has sex once a year without a condom? Well I would say it doesn't really matter. In the mean time 1000's and 1000's of closet gays/bisexuals are having unprotected sex, going home and shagging the wife and then maybe at the weekend one of them is meeting you for a swing session.

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By *iewMan over a year ago
Forum Mod

Angus & Findhorn

why do we keep giving the example of passing an STD as bi/gay guys?

I do appreciate the higher risk group but a wee bit balance

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Bring on the multiple creampie!!!!!

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By *ngieandMrManCouple over a year ago

hereford

"why do we keep giving the example of passing an STD as bi/gay guys?

I do appreciate the higher risk group but a wee bit balance

Nothing at all against bisexuals or gays but it is something that some swingers seem to hang on. So where someone 'thinks' they are high risk or 'thinks' they are safe if they avoid them, either way it can be used to emphasise the risk to those who think that a condom makes them immune to STI's.

Chances are in the real world, bisexuals and gays are safer by way of being better informed.

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Now if someone hiding behind a condom has sex with a different person every day how does that compare with someone who has sex once a year without a condom? Well I would say it doesn't really matter. In the mean time 1000's and 1000's of closet gays/bisexuals are having unprotected sex, going home and shagging the wife and then maybe at the weekend one of them is meeting you for a swing session."

Pretty much agree with that, there must be many totally unaware partners of indiscriminate players who only become wise to them when they have symptoms of an infection.

With regards to the 'players', the probability of them having an STI is significantly increased by the nature and frequency of that activity, compared to someone who has 'protected' sex every day. The problem is we don't know whether the people we encounter as individuals are part of the former or latter group or indeed whether they've had one encounter or thousands. Personally, I'd prefer to take as few risks as possible, whilst still being able to enjoy the positive aspects of this lifestyle-it's about balance.

Unprotected sex as a female has higher risks associated with it than for a male, so I'm afraid there will be no semen entering my body, as much as I might enjoy the experience.

There are still risks with oral sex, higher if semen is involved, but I don't accept those risks as being reasons to have unprotected penetrative sex with total strangers.

Of course testing is helpful, but it isn't a preventative measure, since it only makes you wise after the event, by which time it's too late and of little use if the infection is an AIDS related one.

I think we all have to make our own decisions as to the nature of how we play, at least people who play bareback within this lifestyle are generally upfront about it and have regular check ups and stop playing if they've contracted something, the greatest risk probably applies to those who are lulled into a false sense of security by people who claim to only play safe, but indiscriminately don't and have never had the health check-they could have accumulated a multitude of infections over their adult lives.

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By *ngieandMrManCouple over a year ago

hereford

Great rational and logical post

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"why as im very selective !!!!!!!! and dont go with many anyway and all those are safe and not people i have just met once !

Surely anyone is only as safe as their last check? And only on the date it was taken too. They may have played with an infected partner since then.

not even, unless it is bang up to date which is impossible cos they might have played with peeps over the last few days, who have played with other peeps and so on, it's exponential.

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

it is one thing to not understand why people take these risks. I don't understand it either. But it is another to judge them and make them "lesser" swingers. A swinger is a swinger is a swinger, it's not up to you to judge how people choose to swing or what activities they choose to share. As a previous poster said "you don't like? just pass on by" ....

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I clearly understand what you mean, but on the same note why would anyone put a strangers willy in their mouth?

Hypothetically speaking, if you did have bareback sex with a stranger, what disease would you give the other person?

That is a very good point...

The thing with this is, unprotected sex is something that happens a lot, I would say more so with people that don't swing.

If its not your thing then don't do it. Yet I would say an awful lot of people must not do it, the amount of times we get asked if its a safe sex meet or not.

Katie. x

Exactly! Like the guy that said I could shag his wife, piss on her do her anally, cumin her mouth... but he'd lamp me one if I dared kiss her as kissing strangers is disgusting!"

yeah and like she was his possession too

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I would like a option to block people that tick bareback on there profile

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago
Forum Mod

"I would like a option to block people that tick bareback on there profile "

there is no tick for bareback on here

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By *ngieandMrManCouple over a year ago

hereford

We are members on another swing site where just about every option you can think of has a tick-box on the profile, including safe-sex and bare-back, married or single, smoking, non-smoking etc. all of which is interlinked with the onsite search engine. That said ‘blocking’ is basic at the moment but might incorporate more options in the future. Then hey-ho, welcome to an empty inbox day after day, week after week, month after month and so on. Then wait for the 'This site is crap no one ever sends me a message'...

The people commenting in this thread might represent maybe 0.004% of FAB’s membership and an even smaller number nationally… there is a much bigger picture out there, you can’t please everyone

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

There are still risks with oral sex, higher if semen is involved, "

You can get a Gonorrhea infection in your throat and the bacteria is in pre-cum as well as actual semen.

The next guy receiving oral can then get infected from your throat - and so on.

Now, I've never met any one who uses condoms for oral sex, or that would want to, but the point is that it is wrong to think you are safe because someone doesn't cum in your mouth or unprotected in your pussy.

Any sex carries a risk.

What astonishes me is that some people have unprotected anal sex!

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago
Forum Mod

The people commenting in this thread might represent maybe 0.004% of FAB’s membership and an even smaller number nationally… there is a much bigger picture out there, you can’t please everyone

And thats very true and im glad as I really don't have the time to please everyone

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By *ngieandMrManCouple over a year ago

hereford

The people commenting in this thread might represent maybe 0.004% of FAB’s membership and an even smaller number nationally… there is a much bigger picture out there, you can’t please everyone

And thats very true and im glad as I really don't have the time to please everyone

Hadn't thought of it that way - good point

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By *ngieandMrManCouple over a year ago

hereford

I guess what it all comes down to is compromise… Hypothetical question and please be totally honest…

You are a ‘safe-sex’ couple or single, you are ‘sensible’ not ‘paranoid’. You meet what is for you the absolutely perfect couple, you see them as the most attractive people you have ever met and you really want to play with them BUT… yes you know what’s coming don’t you, they INSIST on bare-back, they convince you they are not over promiscuous and are tested regular… will you walk away?

I think in reality we know what most people will do, and I think in reality we know what most people will say, so there is no need to respond to this post.

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago
Forum Mod

But there is a need for me to respond,in reality for me it would be a no,Ive got up got dressed and fucked off home before now when someone has hinted at bareback in the middle of play

Im not paranoid,im sensible and will take care of myself the best way I see fit and that suits me,if it does'nt suit anyone else when ive made it clear before a meet that I won't have penetrative sex without a condom then I don't really care

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By *onyMad123 OP Couple over a year ago

nottingham/ derby

Anyone who at requests refuses to use or hints and non use of a condom, when you have made your wishes and prefrences known , is definatly in my opnion not worth bothering with, as they have very little respect for th person, and in swinging you need to have a degree of respect surley, for me it hasnt happened yet as havent taken that step, but who said it, no glove no love ..... but you know that i as i started the post.

Cant Honesly say i find a difference between using a condom correctly and sleeping with my long term partner without one ? Can anyone tell me if they feel a difference, ok maybe for the man, but with the ultra thin high sensitivity ones, use with lube if needed,

My OH has no problems at all, and i can still feel him cum through it, if you like the sensation of being wet, then why not have your lube bottle in a cup of warm water and add some of that for the sensation or get one of those squirting toys ?

Can you honestly say that a bit of rubber that MAY protect you inhibits your pleasure so much ?

Maybe i am just lucky !

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By *onyMad123 OP Couple over a year ago

nottingham/ derby

should say can honestly say i dont feel a difference .... sorry typo

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

There are still risks with oral sex, higher if semen is involved,

You can get a Gonorrhea infection in your throat and the bacteria is in pre-cum as well as actual semen.

The next guy receiving oral can then get infected from your throat - and so on.

Any sex carries a risk.

What astonishes me is that some people have unprotected anal sex!

I'm not sure if your post was directed at me, but I acknowledged the risks of oral sex, I simply stated that the risks are greater when semen is involved, I wasn't offering a full sumamry of all the risks of sexual contact!

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By *onyMad123 OP Couple over a year ago

nottingham/ derby

no matter how you dress it up etc etc and weather it makes some people feel better, yes there is a VERY MINIMAL risk via oral sex, in the words of my GP and GU clinic !!! (Shock horror yes i do have one)

Unprotected oral sex is far less risky than unprotected vaginal and anal sex. More so "dry" oral sex, and never met a person so far ( mind you have only been a handful) that had an abundance or pre come, good job really as not a fan, is even far less risky.

We are not going to say yes its 100% safe but that chances are farrrrr less no matter how you like to say its all a risk .....

Damage Limitation my dears .............

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No not aimed at you, just wanted to point out that pre-cum is just as risky as semen and the oral sex risk, which everyone seems happy to "accept".

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"no matter how you dress it up etc etc and weather it makes some people feel better, yes there is a VERY MINIMAL risk via oral sex, in the words of my GP and GU clinic !!! (Shock horror yes i do have one)

We are not going to say yes its 100% safe but that chances are farrrrr less no matter how you like to say its all a risk .....

Damage Limitation my dears ............."

When we asked about the risks from oral at the gum clinic we were told to consider using condoms/dental dams as there isn't really any statistics to prove either way what the actual risks are because in most cases when oral sex has taken place so has penetrative sex, and the latter is always assumed to be the cause, similar to when a smoker dies, it’s always put down as a smoking related.

Although doubt you'll get many people offering oral sex to someone with a STD just to confirm how minimum the risk actually is though.

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No not aimed at you"

Sorry for the misunderstanding

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm struggling to get my head around all the pompous preaching about safe sex from people on a swinging site that meet to have sex with others outside their own relationship!

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago
Forum Mod

"I'm struggling to get my head around all the pompous preaching about safe sex from people on a swinging site that meet to have sex with others outside their own relationship!

Any preaching that I may have done......I don't think I have preached though

has nothing to do with being in a relationship and everything to do with with how I prefer to take care of myself sexually

I don't play outside of my relationship,I play within it

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

"I'm struggling to get my head around all the pompous preaching about safe sex from people on a swinging site that meet to have sex with others outside their own relationship!

It has always amazed me. Most people in the vanilla world thinks we are all depraved as it is, without people on the same site preaching to people who don't play the same way as them.

A bit of tolerance wouldn't go amiss at times......to people who playe bareback or not.....it is their choice, just as it is mine to play safe.

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I would like a option to block people that tick bareback on there profile

there is no tick for bareback on here"

i thought there was lol

ohhh well wud be nice to have one on it so you can block members who do this

after all if a woman / man is happy to shag u bareback then who else has he done ? are they clean ? you just can neva tell can you

personal choice for me others are welcome to theres i wud just like to be able to bloke guys who like bareback from emailing me

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think this is just one of those things that you have to put down to personal preference. I would only ever do safe sex as I am carefull. However some people chose not to do this and this is their choice we are all adults and everyone im sure are aware of the risks. If the thought of it makes you sick then dont think about it and move on to someone who does safe sex. Happy swinging all x

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We only ever play safe and won't meet people who don't play safe think the risks are to great, we also get checked at the local GUM regular, and I think some people should go even just for a chat, as they are very helpful and informative. As they said to us don't belive everything you read on the Internet, regarding STIs etc, yes they can be transferred orally but to do so you would have open saws, bleeding gums etc the risk is minimal although not risk free. No sex is ever risk free but if you go to the GUM and be honest and tell them you swing, you will be offered throut swab as well as the usual,

And i'n our case had some excellent advise and information.

Bottom line regular full bareback sex with multiple partners results i'n being i'n the HIGH risk section.

So we not judging any one but this our preference to how we pick our play friends, no glove no love.

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

There are many risks involved with having sex with strangers but I personally think its irresponsible to specifically look for people that are willing to do bareback. Judging by the many posts I have read 'older' people seem to think there is 'less' risk of catching a STI and that is a pretty stupid attitude.

Think of bareback as a game of Russian roulette 'except' it can take much longer to to die or get health issues. I also reckon that many of the men that do bareback go home and put their partners at risk of infection which these bareback riders don't seem to care about. I myself have been asked on many occasions to 'fill her up' but have always declined as its not worth the risk (it didn't stop a group of other guys from filling her up though)

As I said at the beginning there is an element of risk involved in all sexual activities BUT some seem to seek out higher risks than others which seems abhorrent to most of us.

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Safe sex a must..100%

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By *habsMan over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

"But there is a need for me to respond,in reality for me it would be a no,Ive got up got dressed and fucked off home before now when someone has hinted at bareback in the middle of play

I saw a female profile once (wont say her age or where as could be easy to find) that says she only ever plays bareback and at the time (some months ago) had one verification from a guy (won't say which guy) who's profile says he only has safe-sex and won't put his health at risk. Now, what happened when they met?

As for not getting checked, correction, an earlier comment made about "not needing to get checked" (something about only playing with one person? paraphrasing).. you get your car serviced and Mot'd when due? Dentist and doctor's checkups even when heathly?

Sports athletes do their regular physical even with no reported injuries? So why oh why would "No need to get checked" come up? Isn't that like saying "I'll only get checked if I have something" which defeats the object as you wouldn't know you have something till you get checked.... which clearly will never happen. Or have I got it wrong??

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Sorry but this makes me feel phyically ill ...

Admitadly we are not hard core swingers, but think its just very stupid and cant understand why anyone would take that risk !!!!!!!!

"
try reading "spunkyPussy"in swingers chat ..........lol

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By *ola cubesMan over a year ago

coatbridge

lmfao this thread is crazy...... solution if you dont like it step on if you do say hi whether it is safe or not is imaterial as it is all about personal choice

as for safe sex there is no such thing even for someone with the all clear and acting like a virgin for 2 yrs there is still the risk however small of having contracted somthing from somwhere else a handshake with a cut on your palm for example perhaps people should not be so judgmental as i am sure that what we are all doing is seen as dirty and depraved to peeps out there

only expessing an opinion

happy swinging and have fun all

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Sorry but this makes me feel phyically ill ...

Admitadly we are not hard core swingers, but think its just very stupid and cant understand why anyone would take that risk !!!!!!!!

Funny, we feel like that about overweight smokers.

Not so nice to make a post about personal choices, eh?

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By *onyMad123 OP Couple over a year ago

nottingham/ derby

Personal attack again, i only occasionally smoke but not an option for that, this is why i removed my profile for a short time.

But hey ho overweight smoker i can live with, at least im not just a cum bucket for anyone who cares to deposit it there ......

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By *onyMad123 OP Couple over a year ago

nottingham/ derby

To Quote - And we don't meet men who are married and playing without their wives knowing. Too much guilt for us. Or smokers, never. Never ever. And don't try and lie, the smell is a giveaway!

Same could be said about barebackers -

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By *leasureDomeMan over a year ago

all over the place

Its always a issue which provokes great animosity and finger pointing from many people with opposing _iews.

I believe there is no right or wrong in this, it depends on what you personally (whether single, couple or group),consider an acceptable risk.

A couple on here 18 months ago did a lot of hard work and number crunched the latest govt stats and found the following.

If you accept that everyone who has hiv informs you (as they are legally obliged to). The odds of contracting hiv in this country are 3 million to one.

If you believe they would not tell you or do not know,that figure drops to 1 million to one, there were hotspots and coldspots amongst various groups,within society eg :based on such things as where the person you are shagging lives.

If you also factor in that condom manufacturers are allowed a 0.4% failure rate at manufacture without product recall that is 4000 per million

sold or given away.

People earlier were right regarding the time taken for a test for hiv, an early test can only say you have not contracted it YET.You would then need to abstain for 3 months and have a second test if the markers are not present it is safe to say you are clear,but once you have sex either with or without condom you are once again at risk.

The USA after lab testing declared you are 5 times safer wearing a condom (Europe says 3 times safer)

Whether that risk is acceptable is up to the individual involved, as long as your honest about your choices with other people and declare where you stand, so that others can live by their preferred choices.

None of us can really point the finger and damn people for having a different _iew of acceptable risk.

As pointed out earlier the only safe sex is abstaining ,so once you do not abstain you have to accept risk .

Incidently re oral sex ,oral cancer

has increased 80% in the last 10 years evidently due to the hpv virus.

So ok for me knowing that would not stop me,i just enjoy and think well if it does it does ...someone else may well reach for the oral dams.

So IMHO life is a risk accept it ,live by your own acceptable risk level,accept others have different levels ,get tested regularly and despite it all try to enjoy what is still the most natural of all acts .

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)