Quite a few of us have had actual or potential stalkers Rachael, so it's good that your gut instinct kicked in, alerting you that something was potential not quite right for you and that meet.
It looks like you've got some good help coming via PM, which is great. It may be worth searching for stalkers on the forum too, as there could be some good help from the past, in addition.
A lot of people use an pressure of urgency to meetings - it doesn't work for many, as our lives etc don't support it. Always move at your own pace - mine is usually quite/very slowly. If we're knocked off balance, it's times like that when we may overlook something that we'd normally pay attention to.
I don't think there are many people out there who are inherently dangerous, but I do see that upsetting our well being is a big enough danger in its own right.
Perhaps insist on all meetings being social meets first, and adding that to your profile: it may deter some wrong-doers. Others have suggested the public meeting spots.
When I've been cautious, I've always met somewhere that has excellent CCTV and is very well lit, with a good amount of people around - but not rammed. You can get the other person to identify themselves and stand under a camera, or possibly talk to a member of staff. This helps them being memorable, at that location/time. I see that as something that people with some common sense would find a deterrent, if they were planning something bad. Nothing can stop everything.
It's also worth ensuring that home security is top notch. Check access to gardens and your rear - property that is  And check for window locks etc, all being well fitted and secure. There are bound to be some fab people who are experts on security, who could potentially give great advice: though maybe on a different thread, as I don't mean to hijack yours.
Definitely I've learned to really trust my gut instinct for everything related to meets. If I feel wrong, somehow, it may just be that I know deep down that we're not matched well enough for it to work. Or it could potentially be a warning that something less positive is afoot.
I've also had straight male friends as well as neighbours stand in with support. If meets know that you're supported, then it does create a balance of power that works in your interest. When a neighbour drove me to the train station and waited whilst I had my meet, clearly visible, then I felt much more comfortable. We're not all in such a situation to have that help, but having friends available via phone, who know what you're up to/who with, it can also be a good backup. |
