FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > "Being ruined"
"Being ruined"
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Both myself and the other half play on Fab. she is meeting some guy soon who possibly has the largest cock she has ever had.
We were fucking the other night and chatting about what he wanted to do too her.
She said he wanted to "ruin her" when they fuck, we can both guess what this means but wondered if we are right??
We are not into Cuck /sub/dom and both play equally as much, now and then having great sex but deff not into humiliation.
I've no problem her cumming on his big cock as much as they like and hope she comes home well fucked. just making sure we've the right Definition.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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He sounds like an immature knob who is disrespectful and will probably shoot his load in 2 seconds. Is that what you and your lady want? Next he'll be saying he's gonna 'smash her backdoors in'. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Urban Dictionary
ruin (top definition)
To have sex with another in such a manner so the partner is never quite the same. Emotional counselling is typically required after the fact.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If someone says they are going to ruin me i take they mean fuck me to the point i wont be able to fuck again that night... A few decent orgasms does that so dont read into it too much and just feel assured he aims to put effort into the meet x |
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If she enjoys rough, forceful sex and being used then it'll probably be all good
If she doesn't though, I'd be walking away because to me that saying is about the bloke using and taking for his own needs
Some women like that... I don't
Does your partner? |
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"He sounds like an immature knob who is disrespectful and will probably shoot his load in 2 seconds. Is that what you and your lady want? Next he'll be saying he's gonna 'smash her backdoors in'."
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By *issy louWoman
over a year ago
Staffordshire Moorlands |
"Yes she likes to be held down and fucked hard now and then so think it will be ok "
If you only 'think' it will be ok, then you need to check out exactly what he has in mind before your lady meets him. You need to be 100% sure that it will be ok....'think' is not good enough |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes she likes to be held down and fucked hard now and then so think it will be ok "
It doesnt sound like you are too bothered what happens to her tbh. If I had a partner, id want him to check out what was going on and make sure I was going to be looked after. Maybe im a bit naive here but sex is supposed to be fun, not sound like she is going to be hurt |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It would put me off someone if they said that.
However I met someone once who was so mind blowing he ruined me for everyone else in that it couldn't quite live up to that experience x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Comes across to me as the whole "lad culture" where he talks to his mates in the pub about the birds he's ruined
Jay from the inbetweeners springs to mind.
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I'm sure she will be fine she has met him once before.
Just was interested in what the phrase meant and what she might be in for or what he thinks he can achieve.
I cant see her feeling everyone is second best after him esp me lol
but if she gets a real good night out of it all is good.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its only an expression x
everything is only an expression, doesn't make it innocuous though."
I would suggest context is everything in understanding an expression. In some urban cultures exaggeration is a way of expression. I.e.I had massive night out, or we killed them at football. Even in metaphor, he stabbed me in the back. Better than judging it may be better to ask the guy what he meant. I would have assumed he merely meant that he would satisfy her till she would want no more. Also given the size of his appendage and depending on his skill that may or may not happen! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm sure she will be fine she has met him once before.
Just was interested in what the phrase meant and what she might be in for or what he thinks he can achieve.
I cant see her feeling everyone is second best after him esp me lol
but if she gets a real good night out of it all is good.
"
I wouldn't over analyse the term to be honest. It depends on the trust between the person saying it and the intended recipient. I say it to my male 'prospects' all the time and I love it if a guy (who I've vetted already) says it to me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm sure she will be fine she has met him once before.
Just was interested in what the phrase meant and what she might be in for or what he thinks he can achieve.
I cant see her feeling everyone is second best after him esp me lol
but if she gets a real good night out of it all is good.
I wouldn't over analyse the term to be honest. It depends on the trust between the person saying it and the intended recipient. I say it to my male 'prospects' all the time and I love it if a guy (who I've vetted already) says it to me. "
I agree its been said to me and i wasnt offended its sexy in the right context x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
However I met someone once who was so mind blowing he ruined me for everyone else in that it couldn't quite live up to that experience x
That's my understanding of what it means"
I don't think that's the common understanding of the term.
When most guys I've encountered have said it, they mean that they want to fuck someone so hard it might hurt them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In porn 'ruined' generally means fucked to a state where you can't go back to 'normal'. So someone that does repeated anal play with large toys would 'ruin' their ass. Someone who only does very large vaginal insertions would be making 'ruin' porn. It means someone is damaged. Broken.
Hence why many people don't like that phrase.
(It's also pretty laddish and kind of sexist. For a few reasons.) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"He sounds like an immature knob who is disrespectful and will probably shoot his load in 2 seconds. Is that what you and your lady want? Next he'll be saying he's gonna 'smash her backdoors in'."
Fantastic !!!!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My take on it is more bravado talk.
Like saying my cum will be squirting out of your ears.
 Do people say that? "
I do not think they understand biology. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Lol I think to be fair it was part of a exchange on the phone winding each other up and she has met him once as a social to check him out and just sucked him off."
That's a new definition of social lol. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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He could always just "fuck her brains out"
Just as disrespectful in my mind but for some reason seems to have been accepted as appropriate to say over the years |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"He sounds like an immature knob who is disrespectful and will probably shoot his load in 2 seconds. Is that what you and your lady want? Next he'll be saying he's gonna 'smash her backdoors in'."
This. At least find a man whom has respect. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"He could always just "fuck her brains out"
Just as disrespectful in my mind but for some reason seems to have been accepted as appropriate to say over the years"
Plenty of us don't see that as appropriate language anymore. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"They're only words.
Sure, they are only words. But words are one of the main ways that we convey our attitudes and preferences to the outside world."
Spot on. Attitude is important to me. Like I wouldn't want to play with someone who calls black people niggers or people with a learning disability spastics. |
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By *oconut2Woman
over a year ago
Nether regions of the back of beyond |
"Urban Dictionary
ruin (top definition)
To have sex with another in such a manner so the partner is never quite the same. Emotional counselling is typically required after the fact.
"
Ha ha yeah right lol I've been "ruined" a few times and never needed counselling |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"They're only words.
Sure, they are only words. But words are one of the main ways that we convey our attitudes and preferences to the outside world.
Spot on. Attitude is important to me. Like I wouldn't want to play with someone who calls black people niggers or people with a learning disability spastics. "
QED it is not the words that are important. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Lol I think to be fair it was part of a exchange on the phone winding each other up and she has met him once as a social to check him out and just sucked him off."
A blow job just for a social? Love how blowjobs have become the new handshake!
Oh wait! I do that too!  |
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"ruining my cunt" is a familiar term on BDSM / kink. The outcome of a session is often offered for comment, with invitation-messages entitled things like "rate my gape".
Typically ladies like to use objects like huge dildos, butt-plugs intended for gay men, large vegetables, being fisted, sex with several excessively hung men who have difficulty finding partners normally, etc, etc.
The term "ruining" is probably a play on conventional aesthetics and the commercially desirable norm of "a nice tight vagina". In the same way that we say "I'm having a quick perv" in order to send-up that idea that erotic material and kink is somehow bad when any reasonable and well-formed person knows it's actually a good thing.
If that's what the guy's offering and that's what the lady's up for (and you OP are fine with your partner doing it) - I hope it goes well |
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By *eshzMan
over a year ago
0151 |
"He sounds like an immature knob who is disrespectful and will probably shoot his load in 2 seconds. Is that what you and your lady want? Next he'll be saying he's gonna 'smash her backdoors in'."
This |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"He sounds like an immature knob who is disrespectful and will probably shoot his load in 2 seconds. Is that what you and your lady want? Next he'll be saying he's gonna 'smash her backdoors in'."
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha |
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Oh come on!!!
I say this, I have met women who say this and destroyed and ravaged, devoured... And yes forced...
It's all about context....
But if you say it, you have to deliver, I know a fair few ladies who would be completely disappointed if they didn't feel "ruined" for the rest of the week...
A Finnish lady once said to me "sex is just adults playing".
And this is just the language of play....
But no I would never say.... Ugh!!!.... "Smash your back doors in"....
I have far worse language for that! |
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Context is everything.
Sure as an opening line it would be in pretty poor taste. But the context of their sex chat it maybe exactly what she wanted.
This does not make him either immature, a 1 minute wonder or aggressive. It means he can play a role.
On another meet use of language and the type of sex maybe completely different.
Women are allowed to enjoy mind games and aggressive sex to. There is nothing wrong with a woman getting what she wants from sex.
For example if this was a cuckolded man being verbally objectified. People would have far less concerns. Is it not slightly sexist to assume if a woman did not want 'ruining' then she could speak for herself and not need a big strong man to step in for her?
If I enjoy being called a slut then very few would complain as I'm a man. Same if my wife treats me roughly.
But if that's reversed it's then an issue.
But with other people and at other times ( most of the time) sex is of a completely different nature.
It about finding was turns you on and enjoying it. Even if it would not turn everyone on. |
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"Context is everything.
Sure as an opening line it would be in pretty poor taste. But the context of their sex chat it maybe exactly what she wanted.
This does not make him either immature, a 1 minute wonder or aggressive. It means he can play a role.
On another meet use of language and the type of sex maybe completely different.
Women are allowed to enjoy mind games and aggressive sex to. There is nothing wrong with a woman getting what she wants from sex.
For example if this was a cuckolded man being verbally objectified. People would have far less concerns. Is it not slightly sexist to assume if a woman did not want 'ruining' then she could speak for herself and not need a big strong man to step in for her?
If I enjoy being called a slut then very few would complain as I'm a man. Same if my wife treats me roughly.
But if that's reversed it's then an issue.
But with other people and at other times ( most of the time) sex is of a completely different nature.
It about finding was turns you on and enjoying it. Even if it would not turn everyone on."
Totally.... What people forget is they tie people up, get spanked, suck cock, eat pussy, have anal, are gay or lesbian.
Somewhere in the world all of which are considered disgusting. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well I will soon find out she is meeting him later this evening, so wished her a good time and I'm sure she will and I can't wait to hear all the details later "
So OP how did it go? |
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Well I like to please and pleasure a girl..... try my very best to make our time together as intensely erotic as possible, with my hands, my tongue, my fingertips and of course my cock. I like to take my time, making the girl the centre of attention, listening to her responding to my touch, and enjoying her time with me. I want to know that she had the best time possible, and that she was left with a big smile and a tingling pussy afterwards!  |
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"Can t you (all) see that the OP is getting off on a fantasy??? A MA ZING LY naive!!!!"
Someone once has a fantasy about flying....
They discussed it and the people they laughed...
Eventually, somebody in a far off distant land, that didn't exist at the time of the original conversation, decided to explore this idea further.
Did it really matter what were the motives behind the original conversation? |
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"Can t you (all) see that the OP is getting off on a fantasy??? A MA ZING LY naive!!!!
Someone once has a fantasy about flying....
They discussed it and the people they laughed...
Eventually, somebody in a far off distant land, that didn't exist at the time of the original conversation, decided to explore this idea further.
Did it really matter what were the motives behind the original conversation?"
No it did/does not and all I was doing was commenting so your message is clearly levelled at Yourself Duh  |
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"Lol I think to be fair it was part of a exchange on the phone winding each other up and she has met him once as a social to check him out and just sucked him off."
I like these versions of socials, where you meet for a drink |
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Well it all went fine folks but due to time and location she just gave him two Blow jobs but there are arrangements for more soon.
It does sound like the comment of "ruining" was in context with horny chat leading up to meeting again and in reply to a comment "getting off on it" of course I do same as my other half gets of on me meeting someone we are a couple that like to have our fun and chat about it after usually when fucking.
The main reason for post was to define what's likely to be the meaning of the phrase "ruined" she gets the loving sex off me the harder more animalistic sex is perhaps what she wants from another if he and what he's offering stacks up
It's up to her I'm only watching out for her and happy to hear how it goes. |
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By *issy louWoman
over a year ago
Staffordshire Moorlands |
"Well it all went fine folks but due to time and location she just gave him two Blow jobs but there are arrangements for more soon.
It does sound like the comment of "ruining" was in context with horny chat leading up to meeting again and in reply to a comment "getting off on it" of course I do same as my other half gets of on me meeting someone we are a couple that like to have our fun and chat about it after usually when fucking.
The main reason for post was to define what's likely to be the meaning of the phrase "ruined" she gets the loving sex off me the harder more animalistic sex is perhaps what she wants from another if he and what he's offering stacks up
It's up to her I'm only watching out for her and happy to hear how it goes."
Lol...well after all that build up HE got two blow jobs??!! What did she get out of it? Not the hard animalistic sex she was looking for then?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Both myself and the other half play on Fab. she is meeting some guy soon who possibly has the largest cock she has ever had.
We were fucking the other night and chatting about what he wanted to do too her.
She said he wanted to "ruin her" when they fuck, we can both guess what this means but wondered if we are right??
We are not into Cuck /sub/dom and both play equally as much, now and then having great sex but deff not into humiliation.
I've no problem her cumming on his big cock as much as they like and hope she comes home well fucked. just making sure we've the right Definition.
"
I guess he is meaning that he will give her such a good time and such an amazing experience with his huge cock that she will never want or need small cock again, from the first time she feels him deep inside her she will know how amazing a big cock feels and want big from then on |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you are both happy and he's happy then that's all that matters "
It would be interesting to hear from the lady herself, to see if she enjoyed herself, just giving blow jobs and getting nothing in return, ruined or otherwise. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you are both happy and he's happy then that's all that matters
It would be interesting to hear from the lady herself, to see if she enjoyed herself, just giving blow jobs and getting nothing in return, ruined or otherwise."
It wouldn't do it for me but she might be perfectly happy with that |
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"Its only an expression x
everything is only an expression, doesn't make it innocuous though.
I would suggest context is everything in understanding an expression. In some urban cultures exaggeration is a way of exprcession. I.e.I had massive night out, or we killed them at football. Even in metaphor, he stabbed me in the back. Better than judging it may be better to ask the guy what he meant. I would have assumed he merely meant that he would satisfy her till she would want no more. Also given the size of his appendage and depending on his skill that may or may not happen!"
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