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Mixing swinging and "vanilla" meets
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Got a couple of little dilemmas....
Now any one who knows me, or looks at my profile (no it isn't an invite to do so) will see that I am quite active. Over the last few years I have met many, many lovely people on here. Some once, many multiple times. In that time I have made a few very very good friends. I have also met n played with people not from the site.
Currently I have a couple of very special friends from the site that I see regularly. They are both local, one about 200 yds and one about 3 miles.There are no strings involved....the one is married and about 3 miles awayThe other I spend about 2 out of 3 weekends away with her in her caravan. They both know and know of each other
I have recently also spent a fair bit of time with another newer fab member (with a hidden profile but a few recent verifications of each other). Things are going well. She knows about my caravan friend but perhaps not all of it. She is considering coming off fab but continuing to see me.
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More recently I met someone else who is not on fab. Met her in my road the other week.....seen her 3 times now. She has spent the night twice. My caravan friend knows about her and as she will have seen verifications also knows of the newer fab member.
Problem 1:
The non fab member is possibly seeing me as boyfriend material? That's the opinion of my caravan friend having read texts etc. Do I let this continue?
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Problem 2: I am getting confused as to who knows what about who......should I simply tell them all everything and see where it lands?
There is a bit of a festival on in Malvern on Saturday and Sunday.....I think I have invited at least 3 of them (definitely my caravan friend and non-fab). Should I just make sure all 4 are invited....let them all meet and then just stand back?
This is not a wind-up. This is a genuine dilemma.
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Opinions and abuse welcome in equal measure.... |
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What do you want from the situation?
Are you looking for a monogamous relationship or a relationship where you both wluld swing? Do you have no desire to start a relationship and would rather continue to see a number of women regularly?
None of these choices are wrong but you need to understand what you want and then make sure you communicate this to all involved. That way no one gets hurt or upset and everyone including yoyrself can mske an informed decision on how to progress.
Currently it sounds like you don't know what you want and in doing so haven't kept everyone involved up to speed. Which may result in an East enders style story line.
Whatever you decide good luck x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would either
A) Drop vanilla friend and let all three fab women know about each other.
B) Drop fab women and stick with vanilla friend. She might swing in future. |
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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago
Cambridge |
Or you could always look at a polyamorous relationship?
I your could be in an open poly relationship with them all, apart from the married one, I'm not sure what the proper term is for that dynamic (I am assuming her husband doesn't know).
The main question is what do You want?
In regards to telling people, they might not want to know all the details, but you could tell them your are happy to answer any question they ask, but if they ask it, they have to be prepared to hear the answer. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Polyamourous may work to some extent. To answer your question ...yes her husband knows.
The two regular, long standing fab members would be fine either way...I am sure. Although the they are both hi...they are not attracted to each other. I am the only common link. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Do be honest I stopped reading after problem 1 , as I find it slightly crass and almost a bit of a dick swinging competition that you are showing what should be private texts and messages from one person to another. If I found out that someone did that to me they would immediately have less problems as I would cut all contact with them.  |
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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago
Cambridge |
"Polyamourous may work to some extent. To answer your question ...yes her husband knows.
The two regular, long standing fab members would be fine either way...I am sure. Although the they are both hi...they are not attracted to each other. I am the only common link."
They don't have to be in a relationship together for you to be in a poly relationship with them. It's common that they are not. |
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"My advice. Get a diary. Tell each person the truthful situation. Ask the vanilla lady what she wants from the situation. On no account let them all meet and stand back."
I agree with this. Why would you want/need them all to meet? What would you or any of them gain from that situation? |
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"My advice. Get a diary. Tell each person the truthful situation. Ask the vanilla lady what she wants from the situation. On no account let them all meet and stand back.
I agree with this. Why would you want/need them all to meet? What would you or any of them gain from that situation? "
Some men and women and I don't necessarily include the op in this, enjoy seeing members of the opposite sex in competition with each other for their attention. |
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as someone else has already said, what do you want?
I'd go with being honest with those involved, for the non fab person it can be broached simply by having a conversation that states you don't necessarily believe in conventional relationship types? See where it goes from there? |
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"Do be honest I stopped reading after problem 1 , as I find it slightly crass and almost a bit of a dick swinging competition that you are showing what should be private texts and messages from one person to another. If I found out that someone did that to me they would immediately have less problems as I would cut all contact with them. "
This  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do be honest I stopped reading after problem 1 , as I find it slightly crass and almost a bit of a dick swinging competition that you are showing what should be private texts and messages from one person to another. If I found out that someone did that to me they would immediately have less problems as I would cut all contact with them. "
Absolutely, what a horrible thing to do... |
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"Do be honest I stopped reading after problem 1 , as I find it slightly crass and almost a bit of a dick swinging competition that you are showing what should be private texts and messages from one person to another. If I found out that someone did that to me they would immediately have less problems as I would cut all contact with them. "
Yes, this. That's really disrespectful. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do be honest I stopped reading after problem 1 , as I find it slightly crass and almost a bit of a dick swinging competition that you are showing what should be private texts and messages from one person to another. If I found out that someone did that to me they would immediately have less problems as I would cut all contact with them. "
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Do be honest I stopped reading after problem 1 , as I find it slightly crass and almost a bit of a dick swinging competition that you are showing what should be private texts and messages from one person to another. If I found out that someone did that to me they would immediately have less problems as I would cut all contact with them. "
The text had nothing private in it....just that my caravan friend was taking the piss.....
And I think a few of them will be there anyway...one way or the other.
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I shall keep folks informed. |
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"Do be honest I stopped reading after problem 1 , as I find it slightly crass and almost a bit of a dick swinging competition that you are showing what should be private texts and messages from one person to another. If I found out that someone did that to me they would immediately have less problems as I would cut all contact with them.
The text had nothing private in it....just that my caravan friend was taking the piss.....
And I think a few of them will be there anyway...one way or the other.
.
I shall keep folks informed."
Informed of what? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Another attention seeking post methinks...."
To be fair I get enough attention.
I was just after some genuine advice.....if others had mixed vanilla and swinging. Had people from each met each other etc...?
Is it best to introduce the non-swinger to swinging?
I know some will just throw abuse....I did say in my OP that I expected some and will not report anyone for it as I invited it.
Some have given advice...for that thank you.
I will probably play it by ear and see how things pan out. |
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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
dont see the problem with the fabs women or the married one..if they know you see other people...and as you said the husband knows...so it seems its the non swinging one thats causing you the 'issue'...i suggest like some of the others that you broach the subject of not being exclusive and sort it out asap...not sure why you didnt do this in the first place....she can make her choice..and then you will feel better.
not commenting on the text showing thing..dont know the circumstances.
enjoy your weekend x |
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"Another attention seeking post methinks....
To be fair I get enough attention.
I was just after some genuine advice.....if others had mixed vanilla and swinging. Had people from each met each other etc...?
Is it best to introduce the non-swinger to swinging?
I know some will just throw abuse....I did say in my OP that I expected some and will not report anyone for it as I invited it.
Some have given advice...for that thank you.
I will probably play it by ear and see how things pan out."
But Nobby seriously at your age this isn't the type of dilemma I'd be expecting you to need advice on. You are experienced in life and by your own admission swinging. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do be honest I stopped reading after problem 1 , as I find it slightly crass and almost a bit of a dick swinging competition that you are showing what should be private texts and messages from one person to another. If I found out that someone did that to me they would immediately have less problems as I would cut all contact with them.
The text had nothing private in it....just that my caravan friend was taking the piss.....
And I think a few of them will be there anyway...one way or the other.
.
I shall keep folks informed."
Don't bother keeping us informed...I suspect everyone is a bit tired of your dick swinging by now....  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do be honest I stopped reading after problem 1 , as I find it slightly crass and almost a bit of a dick swinging competition that you are showing what should be private texts and messages from one person to another. If I found out that someone did that to me they would immediately have less problems as I would cut all contact with them.
The text had nothing private in it....just that my caravan friend was taking the piss.....
And I think a few of them will be there anyway...one way or the other.
.
I shall keep folks informed.
Don't bother keeping us informed...I suspect everyone is a bit tired of your dick swinging by now.... "
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Vanilla friend came round last night and stayed over. Now knows what to expect as informed about lifestyle etc.
Wants to try a club soon. All should be good.
Thanks for those that gave advice....appreciated. To the others who had a moan then that's your choice too.
Thread closed as far as I am concerned. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Aw I missed it.  "
Actually no......little update!
Three of the people I spoke about met up at the festival.....no problems at all.
I actually initially attended and sat with my caravan friend and my sister.
Later on (after finishing work) my non-fab new lady friend arrived....with her rather hot best mate.
Several drinks and a few hours later we all left in a taxi.
I took them both home this morning....now all I have to do is change the bed and wash the mattress protector.
The festival continues today...... |
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"Aw I missed it.
Actually no......little update!
Three of the people I spoke about met up at the festival.....no problems at all.
I actually initially attended and sat with my caravan friend and my sister.
Later on (after finishing work) my non-fab new lady friend arrived....with her rather hot best mate.
Several drinks and a few hours later we all left in a taxi.
I took them both home this morning....now all I have to do is change the bed and wash the mattress protector.
The festival continues today......"
You sure are a busy man Nobby. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Aw I missed it.
Actually no......little update!
Three of the people I spoke about met up at the festival.....no problems at all.
I actually initially attended and sat with my caravan friend and my sister.
Later on (after finishing work) my non-fab new lady friend arrived....with her rather hot best mate.
Several drinks and a few hours later we all left in a taxi.
I took them both home this morning....now all I have to do is change the bed and wash the mattress protector.
The festival continues today......
You sure are a busy man Nobby."
I'm a knackered man lol!
Did have a sneaky extra nap this morning..... |
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Well, this story is nothing to brag about. I recently had 6 women all queuing outside my house, in varying states of undress, all wanting to service me. Sadly, my wife wouldn't let any of them in. Still, hopefully there will be another time. Shame they don't do festivals down my way. |
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