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Tips on convincing wife to join the lifestyle
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi. I would like my wife to join the swinging. I suggested it a couple of time already but without success. I tried the bottle of wine with a sweet fuck afterwards whispered it into her ears ... "my love I'd like see you fuck other guys" ... but no success. I so much want to see her fuck other people. Drive her to her meets and patiently wait till she back... but I need help how to approach this. Any tips someone? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's simple. If she's already said no. You have your answer and don't push the issue. She's not interested, why would you go against her wishes and continue to try to persuade her.
Disrespectful behaviour |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Why try to get her to do something she is really not interested in..I'd absolutely hate someone to do that to me! Quit while your ahead and get on with your marriage and be happy with just each other. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi. I would like my wife to join the swinging. I suggested it a couple of time already but without success. I tried the bottle of wine with a sweet fuck afterwards whispered it into her ears ... "my love I'd like see you fuck other guys" ... but no success. I so much want to see her fuck other people. Drive her to her meets and patiently wait till she back... but I need help how to approach this. Any tips someone?"
What you really want is to fuck other women right? She said no.. no means no in any language. Have the maturity to respect her wishes.  |
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By *ummersun99Woman
over a year ago
North Yorkshire by the Sea |
Tell you want a divorce. Get one. Find a woman who is interested in or happy to swing, marry her. 2-3 yrs of drama and patience, for a happier future. Stay with your current wife, unhappiness all round.
Disclaimer* I don't know you or your wife, but that be my uninformed advice  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I should have the heart to heart approach mate. One last time full on discussion and don't pussy foot round.
If she doesn't want to do then I'm afraid you either accept it and get rid of the single male profile as if she finds out you are fucked anyway. In my experience if a woman or man for that matter doesn't want to do it then a wall of resentment starts to build.
I wonder if she suspects you are on here, that often makes the shutters go up as she'll look at it from the angle that you are being very deceitful and that you are not to be rewarded. It's just human nature to behave like that.
Next I say come clean. Tell her about your sexual needs, hey even tell her about your profile on here and make a clean breast of it. She may take pity on you and agree to what you suggest.
Tell her you may be a bit Bi and have need of seeing another man's cock up her.
Above all else don't lie on such a fundamental issue. I imagine with you being Irish she probably holds deeply inhibited thoughts even though they are in her subconcious.
I speak from experience mate. My ex wife was the daughter of strict Welsh methodists and even though she didn't believe that mumbo jumbo herself some of the prejudices came through and coloured her view about marriage and fidelity.
Good luck. I think you are going to need a shed load of it. |
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"Hi. I would like my wife to join the swinging. I suggested it a couple of time already but without success. I tried the bottle of wine with a sweet fuck afterwards whispered it into her ears ... "my love I'd like see you fuck other guys" ... but no success. I so much want to see her fuck other people. Drive her to her meets and patiently wait till she back... but I need help how to approach this. Any tips someone?"
My first bit of advice for moving towards a relationship open to swinging would be this:
Be trustworthy and honest in your relationship. Make sure your partner knows that they're loved, respected, adored and worshiped. Give them no doubt that they ever need to feel jealous. When your relationship is that solid will it survive anything.
Cal |
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By *ummersun99Woman
over a year ago
North Yorkshire by the Sea |
"I should have the heart to heart approach mate. One last time full on discussion and don't pussy foot round.
If she doesn't want to do then I'm afraid you either accept it and get rid of the single male profile as if she finds out you are fucked anyway. In my experience if a woman or man for that matter doesn't want to do it then a wall of resentment starts to build.
I wonder if she suspects you are on here, that often makes the shutters go up as she'll look at it from the angle that you are being very deceitful and that you are not to be rewarded. It's just human nature to behave like that.
Next I say come clean. Tell her about your sexual needs, hey even tell her about your profile on here and make a clean breast of it. She may take pity on you and agree to what you suggest.
Tell her you may be a bit Bi and have need of seeing another man's cock up her.
Above all else don't lie on such a fundamental issue. I imagine with you being Irish she probably holds deeply inhibited thoughts even though they are in her subconcious.
I speak from experience mate. My ex wife was the daughter of strict Welsh methodists and even though she didn't believe that mumbo jumbo herself some of the prejudices came through and coloured her view about marriage and fidelity.
Good luck. I think you are going to need a shed load of it."
This is actually good advice  |
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Be prepared for potential divorce letters coming your way
I have known couples splitting up as a result of one party mentioning swinging..ie onviously i am not good enough or you want to see other people response
Good luck |
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Given that a number of couples on here have openly said that one has convinced the other, or been convinced, and it took time, I do find it strange that now some are saying you have to be in it together ... so, what is it? I see the point when couples come to swinging from a vanilla relationship, that one is the instigator, but I think its wrong that one should try to put pressure or use emotional black mail on the other. We were both swingers when we met so we know neither of us is doing it just to keep the other happy. How can you be sure your partner does not secretly hate it? Just asking as curious .... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My advice would be to print off as many cock pictures as you can from here and leave the prints lying around the house. Entice her with new dick.
Picture the scene, she goes to get a Jaffa cake from the cupboard only to find they've been replaced with circumcised cock pictures.
Or while she's at work, strip the wallpaper from the bedroom walls and blu tac nothing but a variety of testicle photographs over the ceiling.
She'll be dripping like a fish in two minutes flat. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My advice would be to print off as many cock pictures as you can from here and leave the prints lying around the house. Entice her with new dick.
Picture the scene, she goes to get a Jaffa cake from the cupboard only to find they've been replaced with circumcised cock pictures.
Or while she's at work, strip the wallpaper from the bedroom walls and blu tac nothing but a variety of testicle photographs over the ceiling.
She'll be dripping like a fish in two minutes flat. "
Best advice ever.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My advice would be to print off as many cock pictures as you can from here and leave the prints lying around the house. Entice her with new dick.
Picture the scene, she goes to get a Jaffa cake from the cupboard only to find they've been replaced with circumcised cock pictures.
Or while she's at work, strip the wallpaper from the bedroom walls and blu tac nothing but a variety of testicle photographs over the ceiling.
She'll be dripping like a fish in two minutes flat.
Best advice ever...."
Either that or she'll be physically sick at the sight  lol |
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By *osieWoman
over a year ago
Wembley |
"My advice would be to print off as many cock pictures as you can from here and leave the prints lying around the house. Entice her with new dick.
Picture the scene, she goes to get a Jaffa cake from the cupboard only to find they've been replaced with circumcised cock pictures.
Or while she's at work, strip the wallpaper from the bedroom walls and blu tac nothing but a variety of testicle photographs over the ceiling.
She'll be dripping like a fish in two minutes flat. "
Good advice but I would replace the c**k piccies with photographs of SKY and SKY+ (BBC/BWC) remote controls |
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"Hi. I would like my wife to join the swinging. I suggested it a couple of time already but without success. I tried the bottle of wine with a sweet fuck afterwards whispered it into her ears ... "my love I'd like see you fuck other guys" ... but no success. I so much want to see her fuck other people. Drive her to her meets and patiently wait till she back... but I need help how to approach this. Any tips someone?"
If she's not into it then she's not into it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My advice would be to print off as many cock pictures as you can from here and leave the prints lying around the house. Entice her with new dick.
Picture the scene, she goes to get a Jaffa cake from the cupboard only to find they've been replaced with circumcised cock pictures.
Or while she's at work, strip the wallpaper from the bedroom walls and blu tac nothing but a variety of testicle photographs over the ceiling.
She'll be dripping like a fish in two minutes flat.
Good advice but I would replace the c**k piccies with photographs of SKY and SKY+ (BBC/BWC) remote controls"
Lmao |
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My ex wife wouldn't swing, my wife now said "yes" enthusiastically (and long before she was my wife!). It depends on lots of things, their sex-drives, their openness to try new things, how secure they feel in the relationship, jealousy issues and lots more. If she has said no more than once, then you're not going to do any good by pushing things. You have to decide whether to play on your own or even get a new relationship, or just admit it's a fantasy that you're not going to fulfil. |
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By *MaleMan
over a year ago
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Surely if your partner has thought it out, spelt it out they're not interested in swinging then respect that.
Why go down the road of trying to convince them. What next twisting their arm, getting them in a headlock  ??
Other than that I'd probably be checking myself out to why I'm wanting to come in this direction whilst my partner doesn't and sorting it out one way or the other |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Op if you love and respect your wife please have the decency to listen to her
I work in a club and have had the unfortunate and quite frankly heartbreaking task of comforting ladies who have been pressured and coerced into swinging because it's hubby's fantasy. These poor ladies were in floods of tears saying they felt used and dirty but did it because they love their hubby n wanted to make him happy do you really want this for your lady? Because it's a real possibility and I am sorry it's in my view fukin selfish and unforgivable  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some people don't want to have sex with multiple partners, surely that isn't difficult to understand."
To say I was flabbergasted was an understatement . Someone hit the nail on the head |
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"It's simple. If she's already said no. You have your answer and don't push the issue. She's not interested, why would you go against her wishes and continue to try to persuade her.
Disrespectful behaviour"
Agree totally  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's a bit drastic but have you considered a new wife? That way you'll have the wife you want, and your current wife can hopefully find a man that respects her and doesn't try and coerce in to things that she has already clearly said she has no interest in. Win win as they say |
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"It's simple. If she's already said no. You have your answer and don't push the issue. She's not interested, why would you go against her wishes and continue to try to persuade her.
Disrespectful behaviour"
I agree.
You clearly want something she doesnt |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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From the way that the majority have replied, clearly the normal course of things is like this...
Man: I'd like us to have sex with others ...you up for it?"
Woman: "Yes."
I mean seriously, for swinging to happen it takes one part of the couple to suggest it...I'd imagine that (quite often) it will have been a shock to the other party who may need some convincing or at least baby steps?
So what's with the "You asked her, she said no...you're a twat" line of reply to the OP? |
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"From the way that the majority have replied, clearly the normal course of things is like this...
Man: I'd like us to have sex with others ...you up for it?"
Woman: "Yes."
I mean seriously, for swinging to happen it takes one part of the couple to suggest it...I'd imagine that (quite often) it will have been a shock to the other party who may need some convincing or at least baby steps?
So what's with the "You asked her, she said no...you're a twat" line of reply to the OP?"
Probably because he says himself that he's asked several times. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"From the way that the majority have replied, clearly the normal course of things is like this...
Man: I'd like us to have sex with others ...you up for it?"
Woman: "Yes."
I mean seriously, for swinging to happen it takes one part of the couple to suggest it...I'd imagine that (quite often) it will have been a shock to the other party who may need some convincing or at least baby steps?
So what's with the "You asked her, she said no...you're a twat" line of reply to the OP?
Probably because he says himself that he's asked several times."
That doesn't make him a twat though. Make it makes them incompatible or maybe it means he needs to step up the masturbation to get it out his system and start building model trains. |
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"From the way that the majority have replied, clearly the normal course of things is like this...
Man: I'd like us to have sex with others ...you up for it?"
Woman: "Yes."
I mean seriously, for swinging to happen it takes one part of the couple to suggest it...I'd imagine that (quite often) it will have been a shock to the other party who may need some convincing or at least baby steps?
So what's with the "You asked her, she said no...you're a twat" line of reply to the OP?
Probably because he says himself that he's asked several times.
That doesn't make him a twat though. Make it makes them incompatible or maybe it means he needs to step up the masturbation to get it out his system and start building model trains. "
indeed a hobby is a good idea. I didn't call him a twat, it isn't a word i use unless I'm quoting but sometimes if somebody says no to something several times it's a clue that they mean it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think no means no doesn't it.
Sounds like you just want your wife to join the lifestyle so you can get your kicks not taking into account your wife's feelings or thoughts. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"From the way that the majority have replied, clearly the normal course of things is like this...
Man: I'd like us to have sex with others ...you up for it?"
Woman: "Yes."
I mean seriously, for swinging to happen it takes one part of the couple to suggest it...I'd imagine that (quite often) it will have been a shock to the other party who may need some convincing or at least baby steps?
So what's with the "You asked her, she said no...you're a twat" line of reply to the OP?
Probably because he says himself that he's asked several times.
That doesn't make him a twat though. Make it makes them incompatible or maybe it means he needs to step up the masturbation to get it out his system and start building model trains.
indeed a hobby is a good idea. I didn't call him a twat, it isn't a word i use unless I'm quoting but sometimes if somebody says no to something several times it's a clue that they mean it. "
It's just a complex situation is all. You can have a 'no' I'm not interested with a sub-text that I think swinging is unconventional and that makes me uncomfortable (a changeable perception) or you can have 'no' it doesn't turn me on, I don't want to, I had a threesome at college and it was worse than marmite.
If it's the latter then you need a subscription to good porn site and model railway monthly. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Any tips someone?"
Ok yes, try and find out "why" she doesn't like it. That will probably require the best diplomatic skills you can muster but if you can identify the underlying objection then you can see whether it's one that will change or not.
Basically, and sweeping generalisations time:
Objections based on social norms can change (e.g none of my friends do it so I think it's wierd)
Individual preference can't really change, at least not because you want it to.
Frankly you'd be in a worse position if she'd tried it and not liked it so it's maybe not the dead duck some people imply, but it's not good odds either. Either way you definately don't want to be 'that guy' dragging his wife out to perform the monthly postpone-the-divorce swing |
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"From the way that the majority have replied, clearly the normal course of things is like this...
Man: I'd like us to have sex with others ...you up for it?"
Woman: "Yes."
I mean seriously, for swinging to happen it takes one part of the couple to suggest it...I'd imagine that (quite often) it will have been a shock to the other party who may need some convincing or at least baby steps?
So what's with the "You asked her, she said no...you're a twat" line of reply to the OP?
Probably because he says himself that he's asked several times.
That doesn't make him a twat though. Make it makes them incompatible or maybe it means he needs to step up the masturbation to get it out his system and start building model trains.
indeed a hobby is a good idea. I didn't call him a twat, it isn't a word i use unless I'm quoting but sometimes if somebody says no to something several times it's a clue that they mean it.
It's just a complex situation is all. You can have a 'no' I'm not interested with a sub-text that I think swinging is unconventional and that makes me uncomfortable (a changeable perception) or you can have 'no' it doesn't turn me on, I don't want to, I had a threesome at college and it was worse than marmite.
If it's the latter then you need a subscription to good porn site and model railway monthly. "
Agreed and I think there are cultural objections to a man trying to persuade a woman to do something sexual that don't exist the other way round "your wife wants you to have sex with other women and you don't want to!? Are you crazy?" scenario for instance. I just feel rightly or wrongly that if two people have reached a stage where one who I'd hope knows the other very well, has run out of ideas to persuade the other into something it's dead in the water. I would be devastated if I read a post like this concerning me but I know not everyone would react that way. |
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