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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi I am a double amputee, which has put a few people off, I was wondering how do I try to put people at ease"
Perhaps you could start with a more informative profile and some pictures? It is obviously going to be more difficult for you here than for others, but there are many here for whom personality is most important. But even if personality is most important, some pictures always assist. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Be yourself.. Plain and simple.. You shouldn't feel the need to put people at ease.. . Mention it in your profile.. And the right people will want to meet x |
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"Hi I am a double amputee, which has put a few people off, I was wondering how do I try to put people at ease"
I,d meet you if I lived closer you could maybe give more detail about your disability are you in a wheelchair for instance. |
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"Hi I am a double amputee, which has put a few people off, I was wondering how do I try to put people at ease"
By saying you're a double amputee in your profile, by putting up a photo (or in private if you prefer), by writing more in general on your profile, by making a joke of it, by joining in one the forums and chat rooms, by going to socials....loads you can do  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Perhaps you could start with a more informative profile and some pictures? It is obviously going to be more difficult for you here than for others, but there are many here for whom personality is most important. But even if personality is most important, some pictures always assist."
Wow, condescending, much? The implication being that the op has to rely on personality, not physical attractiveness? 
Fyi, I have a major disability and only meet people who find me physically appealing as well as mentally. |
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That's really sad.
You should be very clear on your profile what the man should expect. He will have to know at some point. I think it's better right from the onset.
I agree with another man, it's going to be harder, but I see no reason why you'd not get any interest.
Just be happy, be chatty, be open and see what happens. |
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By *osieWoman
over a year ago
Wembley |
"
Perhaps you could start with a more informative profile and some pictures? It is obviously going to be more difficult for you here than for others, but there are many here for whom personality is most important. But even if personality is most important, some pictures always assist.
Wow, condescending, much? The implication being that the op has to rely on personality, not physical attractiveness?
Fyi, I have a major disability and only meet people who find me physically appealing as well as mentally. "
Don't be so touchy; she did not say anything like that; she gave very good advice |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Was at a club on NYE and there was a gorgeous young lady there who was disabled. I wouldn't have thought twice about getting to know her had the opportunity presented itself. Just be yourself and people will come along. None of us is perfect.  x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Can I just say that perhaps you don't want to mention it on your profile. We swing with a couple where one of them is an amputee and they actually get a lot of mail from men who have it as a fetish! If that doesn't bother you then go ahead but I'm suprised if it's that hard to get a meet, it doesn't bother us. |
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"Hi I am a double amputee, which has put a few people off, I was wondering how do I try to put people at ease"
Just be yourself; I think the more open you are about it, the more people will be accepting.
Those that aren't, are not worth your trouble anyway.
Not long ago I had the privilege to work with many of the multiple Army amputees; at the risk of sounding patronising , they were inspirational; and it did not take long to completely overlook and forget their various disabilities,
X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi I am a double amputee, which has put a few people off, I was wondering how do I try to put people at ease
Just be yourself; I think the more open you are about it, the more people will be accepting.
Those that aren't, are not worth your trouble anyway.
Not long ago I had the privilege to work with many of the multiple Army amputees; at the risk of sounding patronising , they were inspirational; and it did not take long to completely overlook and forget their various disabilities,
X"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Perhaps you could start with a more informative profile and some pictures? It is obviously going to be more difficult for you here than for others, but there are many here for whom personality is most important. But even if personality is most important, some pictures always assist.
Wow, condescending, much? The implication being that the op has to rely on personality, not physical attractiveness?
Fyi, I have a major disability and only meet people who find me physically appealing as well as mentally. "
Actually, I think it was you being condescending. There was no implication at all. I was offering my advice. I personally do not care if a person has disabilities or not. Profiles can often be improved, mine included. She asked and I suggested. |
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"Hi I am a double amputee, which has put a few people off, I was wondering how do I try to put people at ease"
hi I am just the same shame you are so far away xx I find it a lot harder now getting meets but I do still get an odd one lol   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Too far from me....but in the past I have met two disabled ladies from the site....one normally wheelchair bound....if not a problem for them...then it isn't for me either. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I found you attractive I'd meet you ))
I can't even imagine how you must be affected by your situation... But that's my honest feeling. And attraction can't be bought or bottled. It's natural chemistry. |
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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago
Newbury |
I have a colostomy.
I don't mention it in my profile because it does not define me. I often forget to mention it even before meeting, because it has been a part of me for so long, I don't think about it much.
It has put precisely nobody off so far. |
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By *abel-30Woman
over a year ago
middle of no-where |
I'm classed as disabled. I don't have it in my profile as unless it's a all day meet that involves a lot of walking it's never an issue. I have had a meet see me out and about and ask why I use crutches, I would have thought it would have been obvious due to the huge scar but aparently not lol |
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It may not be harder for you, just different. I like men but not all men want to have sex with or marry me. Some might think it's harder for me, but I don't accept that.
Our disabilities, personalities and looks are facets of us, so as long as we communicate that information, we help others to filter themselves out or in to our potential meet list.
I'd encourage you to experiment with varying your approach, to see what works for you. Increasing or decreasing the emphasis upon being differently abled to others.
Many men will want to know what you need sexually, so let that detail help limit or open up who expresses interest in you. I'd suggest you largely rely on others contacting you, where many will have self-selected. Be aware that some people don't read profiles that much though.
So focus on what you want and can do, letting people determine how much of a match to them you are. |
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"It may not be harder for you, just different. I like men but not all men want to have sex with or marry me. Some might think it's harder for me, but I don't accept that.
Our disabilities, personalities and looks are facets of us, so as long as we communicate that information, we help others to filter themselves out or in to our potential meet list.
I'd encourage you to experiment with varying your approach, to see what works for you. Increasing or decreasing the emphasis upon being differently abled to others.
Many men will want to know what you need sexually, so let that detail help limit or open up who expresses interest in you. I'd suggest you largely rely on others contacting you, where many will have self-selected. Be aware that some people don't read profiles that much though.
So focus on what you want and can do, letting people determine how much of a match to them you are. "
Best post on this thread...clear, honest and not condescending. |
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