FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > We learnt a valuable lesson today..
We learnt a valuable lesson today..
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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We will not be sending people videos anymore, we've stupidly trusted people with our videos and have discovered some today on a porn site, We've reported them to the site and asked them to remove them so just waiting for them to do that now. We wouldn't have a problem with our stuff being on a porn site at all....If we had uploaded them! It makes us wonder how many people must have had this done to them and haven't got a clue about it. So yeah as a result it's made us wise up about sending personal videos to people.
Peach and Ess
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We will not be sending people videos anymore, we've stupidly trusted people with our videos and have discovered some today on a porn site, We've reported them to the site and asked them to remove them so just waiting for them to do that now. We wouldn't have a problem with our stuff being on a porn site at all....If we had uploaded them! It makes us wonder how many people must have had this done to them and haven't got a clue about it. So yeah as a result it's made us wise up about sending personal videos to people.
Peach and Ess
"
Just out of pure interest.... Which website and title of the video(s) 
On a serious note, I also had a hard lesson a while a go and now I'm so guarded about my personal photos/videos, and would never ask anyone to send them to me. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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It does, there will be loads of people who don't have a clue there stuff is being used in that way, it's not fair that people feel the need to misuse things they have been sent in that way, it could cause problems for people and embarrassment. Sucks that we were stupid lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We will not be sending people videos anymore, we've stupidly trusted people with our videos and have discovered some today on a porn site, We've reported them to the site and asked them to remove them so just waiting for them to do that now. We wouldn't have a problem with our stuff being on a porn site at all....If we had uploaded them! It makes us wonder how many people must have had this done to them and haven't got a clue about it. So yeah as a result it's made us wise up about sending personal videos to people.
Peach and Ess
Just out of pure interest.... Which website and title of the video(s)
On a serious note, I also had a hard lesson a while a go and now I'm so guarded about my personal photos/videos, and would never ask anyone to send them to me. "
It's appalling that people feel they have the right to do things like that, we are going to be a lot more selective from now on. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Not nice but probably inevitable in this arena  "
yeah we were stupid for thinking we could trust whoever it was who did it, when we send things like that it's usually been after chatting a while, we are wise now and hope that other people are careful, we will also be checking more sites just to check they aren't on them too, made us a bit paranoid now lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Bastards I hope they remove it fit you x"
Hope so too, says on the site that if you send them the links they will remove them so fingers crossed it will be done sharpish x |
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By *layerzCouple
over a year ago
Swansea |
Thanks for the heads up and sharing the lesson. We had something similar happen a few years ago when someone was passing mrs P off as his missus, it's a pisser isn't it? Do you know who theperson is? Trouble is, once you've sent it out it becomes "uncontolled and uncontrollable". |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Thanks for th heads up and sharing h lesson. We had something similar happen a few years ago when someone was paying mrs P off as hs missus, it's a pisser isn't it? Do yo know who th person is? Trouble is, once you've sent it out it becomes "uncontolled and uncontrollable"."
It really is, we think we know who it is as I noticed some other uploads and the name of the uploaded was someone we had been chatting too, there's no upload names on videos though so can't be sure if they uploaded that but it looks that way. Yeah the only thing we can do now is keep checking and reporting if we do find them. |
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"Not nice but probably inevitable in this arena
yeah we were stupid for thinking we could trust whoever it was who did it, when we send things like that it's usually been after chatting a while, we are wise now and hope that other people are careful, we will also be checking more sites just to check they aren't on them too, made us a bit paranoid now lol"
A natural reaction, it's a shame you had to experience this to learn the lesson  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's one of the reasons I wouldn't do a video with couples or a single Woman, They might say we will never show it to anybody but their views on showing them might change a few years down the line |
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"Not nice but probably inevitable in this arena
yeah we were stupid for thinking we could trust whoever it was who did it, when we send things like that it's usually been after chatting a while, we are wise now and hope that other people are careful, we will also be checking more sites just to check they aren't on them too, made us a bit paranoid now lol"
So... let me get this straight.
You "chat for a while".... and then send people... random strangers off the internet, videos?
Jeez!!!
We don't even do that with our closest swinging friends, people we have meet numerous times, partied and been clubbing with, played with and socialised with.
At most, we share pics of the meets we had WITH THEM, and when we send the pics, we have already edited them to blank out our faces and distinguishing marks!  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Not nice but probably inevitable in this arena
yeah we were stupid for thinking we could trust whoever it was who did it, when we send things like that it's usually been after chatting a while, we are wise now and hope that other people are careful, we will also be checking more sites just to check they aren't on them too, made us a bit paranoid now lol
So... let me get this straight.
You "chat for a while".... and then send people... random strangers off the internet, videos?
Jeez!!!
We don't even do that with our closest swinging friends, people we have meet numerous times, partied and been clubbing with, played with and socialised with.
At most, we share pics of the meets we had WITH THEM, and when we send the pics, we have already edited them to blank out our faces and distinguishing marks! "
Yeah it was a reckless move on our part no doubt. We will have sent it in the later stages of organising a meet in return for one of theirs.. but yeah duh.
Ah well life goes on. It's not like we have anything to be ashamed of.. We look good fnar fnar.
As long as our parents don't wind up seeing it everything is good.. and we were lucky it was THAT video.. There are far more incriminating and filthier ones we have made...
Monsieur Ess |
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Not having a dig here but surely you know that once something is out of your hands you have no control over what happens to it. It was by pure luck that you have found your video one that 1 site, you have no idea what other sites it could have been loaded onto, how many people may have downloaded it and what they may have done with it.
One reason I never cam, all it takes is a simple bit of software to record the cam, and then it is out who knows where. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Not having a dig here but surely you know that once something is out of your hands you have no control over what happens to it. It was by pure luck that you have found your video one that 1 site, you have no idea what other sites it could have been loaded onto, how many people may have downloaded it and what they may have done with it.
One reason I never cam, all it takes is a simple bit of software to record the cam, and then it is out who knows where."
It's not the fact the video was put up that bothered us, it was that it was put on without our knowledge, if the person who did it had said "I'd really like to upload this to porn site" we'd have said "okay but let's choose a better video then" we know we've been daft in trusting that particular person (100% know who it was now) and judging by his profile on there numerous people have been duped by him, we just can't believe people are sad enough to do that. The site has removed the content so we are happy about that, we've also checked other sites and haven't came across them. Just can't believe people are sad enough to do that, don't really see what there is to gain from it. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Revenge porn....."
I suppose it kind of was. We were chatting to the person for some time and then in one chat where he thought he was just talking to me (peach) he told me he could fuck me better than ess can in a rather cocky fashion so we decided not to progress with that meet, he must have uploaded the videos as soon as we told him to do one, the loser |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
So... let me get this straight.
You "chat for a while".... and then send people... random strangers off the internet, videos?
Jeez!!!
-)"
I think you'll find that the title of this forum is 'Swingers Support' not 'Judgemental Swingers'  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
So... let me get this straight.
You "chat for a while".... and then send people... random strangers off the internet, videos?
Jeez!!!
-)
I think you'll find that the title of this forum is 'Swingers Support' not 'Judgemental Swingers' "
 we also meet random strangers off the Internet, aren't we silly |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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wouldn't that behaviour by that guy be classified as revenge porn ? therefore chargable by the Police under the new regulations that recently came out ?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes it was on a program channel 40 i think it was. I never reveal stuff on line no full exposures or face pictures due to the risks be careful not careless..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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And that's why you won't find, or receive a naked pic of me on here, or anywhere else, for that matter. Don't be naive, folks.
Seriously evil thing to do to someone, my heart goes out to the OP couple. |
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It's not just videos, when we were on another site we used to send pictures out until one day we received a photo of me and the wife the guy claiming it was him and his wife I got him banned from the site and have never sent pictures out again |
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"We will not be sending people videos anymore, we've stupidly trusted people with our videos and have discovered some today on a porn site, We've reported them to the site and asked them to remove them so just waiting for them to do that now. We wouldn't have a problem with our stuff being on a porn site at all....If we had uploaded them! It makes us wonder how many people must have had this done to them and haven't got a clue about it. So yeah as a result it's made us wise up about sending personal videos to people.
Peach and Ess
"
There was a programme on ch4 a few months back, revenge porn which detailed how common it was for people to upload without permission, main reason i dont sent any compromising pictures or videos to anyone at all |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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He's still got the original video though, so there's nothing to stop him uploading it again to that site, and to others. If I were you I'd either get the police involved or at least threaten to. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Very sorry this has happened to you.
It can make you a little paranoid.
Something else to watch is only allowing pics to be taken on your camera during meets, so you can edit as you wish and you alone have the original pics. |
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"
So... let me get this straight.
You "chat for a while".... and then send people... random strangers off the internet, videos?
Jeez!!!
-)
I think you'll find that the title of this forum is 'Swingers Support' not 'Judgemental Swingers' "
You can only be so supportive, when folks are being stupid they need a reality-check.
Unless you meet people in the flesh, how can you be sure that they are who and what they claim to be?
The various verification methods are all open to abuse, and sending videos to people they have only "been chatting to" is foolish in the extreme.
Holding someone's hand and going "there there" is not whats required... what is is an honest appraisal of the situation, which is what I gave. |
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"Someone was talking about how to find out if your pictures are online somewhere. Can anyone remember how to do it? "
You can reverse image search your own pictures to see if they're posted elsewhere. |
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"Someone was talking about how to find out if your pictures are online somewhere. Can anyone remember how to do it?
You can reverse image search your own pictures to see if they're posted elsewhere."
Explain... |
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"Someone was talking about how to find out if your pictures are online somewhere. Can anyone remember how to do it?
You can reverse image search your own pictures to see if they're posted elsewhere.
Explain..."
Ok.
If you use Google reverse image search or tineye for example and follow the instructions they give it will show if the image you are checking has been posted elsewhere on the net. |
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"Someone was talking about how to find out if your pictures are online somewhere. Can anyone remember how to do it?
You can reverse image search your own pictures to see if they're posted elsewhere.
Explain...
Ok.
If you use Google reverse image search or tineye for example and follow the instructions they give it will show if the image you are checking has been posted elsewhere on the net."
I shall try it. Thank you x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Someone was talking about how to find out if your pictures are online somewhere. Can anyone remember how to do it?
You can reverse image search your own pictures to see if they're posted elsewhere.
Explain...
Ok.
If you use Google reverse image search or tineye for example and follow the instructions they give it will show if the image you are checking has been posted elsewhere on the net.
I shall try it. Thank you x"
You can also use a site called tineye to reverse search. |
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After getting permission from all involved, if I film Frisky playing I do my best not to get others faces.
However the vids are for us only, we don't share as they have Frisky'so face in.
It will stay that way as we have a good few years of working life left. We don't want people we work with or our children seeing what we get up to in private...
It'salso easy to have pics copied off here and posted to other sites, again that's why no face pics on here...
A sad state of affairs... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not having a dig here but surely you know that once something is out of your hands you have no control over what happens to it. It was by pure luck that you have found your video one that 1 site, you have no idea what other sites it could have been loaded onto, how many people may have downloaded it and what they may have done with it.
One reason I never cam, all it takes is a simple bit of software to record the cam, and then it is out who knows where."
This for me too^^
Like you say OP put it down to a lesson learned & it's a reminder to us all to be careful. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I'll have to look more into this revenge porn thing I'm not properly clued up on it. What we are going to do is get some masks for our faces, I already have wigs too. Just wanted to make people aware that this is happening to many people and while most may think it's an obvious thing others like us may not be. For example, there is a huge section on there and if you just put fabswingers into the search numerous videos and pictures come up from fabswingers members, I feel sorry for those who are not aware they are on it.
Peach |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
So... let me get this straight.
You "chat for a while".... and then send people... random strangers off the internet, videos?
Jeez!!!
-)
I think you'll find that the title of this forum is 'Swingers Support' not 'Judgemental Swingers'
You can only be so supportive, when folks are being stupid they need a reality-check.
Unless you meet people in the flesh, how can you be sure that they are who and what they claim to be?
The various verification methods are all open to abuse, and sending videos to people they have only "been chatting to" is foolish in the extreme.
Holding someone's hand and going "there there" is not whats required... what is is an honest appraisal of the situation, which is what I gave.
Didn't really need a reality check given that the post was started by saying lesson learnt and we knew what we had done wrong there, we weren't asking for advice on how to avoid this, we were simply advising others that this is still happening and to a lot of fab members. Twice you've emphasised "been chatting to" and we have stated chatting to for a while with the intention of meeting, we are very selective in who we talk to and consider meeting and reckon once in over 3 years doing this sort of thing isn't all that bad going. I would say that meeting strangers off the Internet for sex is just as risky as sending videos after all just because you've seen someone in the flesh does not mean you know them are that they are honest it's the same thing, the only thing which is different is you know for sure if that is what they look like, which doesn't really give you much extra security. Anyway as we stated ourself more than once we are well aware we were stupid. There are still plenty of people who are not aware that may have trusted the wrong person with their material. A quick search on a pornsite with the word fabswingers would show you that, so basically people who do send videos or even have pictures on their profile should give sites a check to make sure they haven't been robbed. It was quite simple to get our videos removed and yes the person may still have the originals but we are now aware they are out there and can keep checking and having it removed, that is all we can do about that now 
Peach "
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By *hoenixmanMan
over a year ago
Where men are men, and sheep are nervous...! |
"Not having a dig here but surely you know that once something is out of your hands you have no control over what happens to it. It was by pure luck that you have found your video one that 1 site, you have no idea what other sites it could have been loaded onto, how many people may have downloaded it and what they may have done with it.
One reason I never cam, all it takes is a simple bit of software to record the cam, and then it is out who knows where."
Absolutely agree with this. The lady I was last on Fabs with as part of a couple, when I first met her, had been performing on cam for a while to complete strangers on another site.
It had not occurred to her for one second that the guy at the other end of the line might be recording her performance and loading it up to any one of a thousand sites within minutes.
Bottom line is: if there is an image of you that you don't want getting out, then don't let it out of your hands.... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Never put anything on the internet that may come back to bite you.Surprised somebody so young could be caught out like that."
We've already said it's not even that the video was out there, it was the fact that somebody would be sad enough to do that, without permission, if he'd asked us it would have been different. The point is people are still having this done to them and are completely unaware, I don't blame the people who take and send videos and pictures to others, I blame the losers who decide to upload that stuff onto pornsites.
Peach |
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By *hoenixmanMan
over a year ago
Where men are men, and sheep are nervous...! |
"Never put anything on the internet that may come back to bite you.Surprised somebody so young could be caught out like that.
We've already said it's not even that the video was out there, it was the fact that somebody would be sad enough to do that, without permission, if he'd asked us it would have been different. The point is people are still having this done to them and are completely unaware, I don't blame the people who take and send videos and pictures to others, I blame the losers who decide to upload that stuff onto pornsites.
Peach"
Hmmm... so have you never watched porn on a porn site ... ?? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Never put anything on the internet that may come back to bite you.Surprised somebody so young could be caught out like that.
We've already said it's not even that the video was out there, it was the fact that somebody would be sad enough to do that, without permission, if he'd asked us it would have been different. The point is people are still having this done to them and are completely unaware, I don't blame the people who take and send videos and pictures to others, I blame the losers who decide to upload that stuff onto pornsites.
Peach
Hmmm... so have you never watched porn on a porn site ... ??"
Yeah I have.........forgive me if I'm being thick here but what's your point? Lol
Peach |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Never put anything on the internet that may come back to bite you.Surprised somebody so young could be caught out like that.
We've already said it's not even that the video was out there, it was the fact that somebody would be sad enough to do that, without permission, if he'd asked us it would have been different. The point is people are still having this done to them and are completely unaware, I don't blame the people who take and send videos and pictures to others, I blame the losers who decide to upload that stuff onto pornsites.
Peach"
Lots of sad people out there I'm afraid. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not having a dig here but surely you know that once something is out of your hands you have no control over what happens to it. It was by pure luck that you have found your video one that 1 site, you have no idea what other sites it could have been loaded onto, how many people may have downloaded it and what they may have done with it.
One reason I never cam, all it takes is a simple bit of software to record the cam, and then it is out who knows where.
Absolutely agree with this. The lady I was last on Fabs with as part of a couple, when I first met her, had been performing on cam for a while to complete strangers on another site.
It had not occurred to her for one second that the guy at the other end of the line might be recording her performance and loading it up to any one of a thousand sites within minutes.
Bottom line is: if there is an image of you that you don't want getting out, then don't let it out of your hands...."
a smart phone is all you need and its recorded or the pic downloaded |
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By *hoenixmanMan
over a year ago
Where men are men, and sheep are nervous...! |
"Never put anything on the internet that may come back to bite you.Surprised somebody so young could be caught out like that.
We've already said it's not even that the video was out there, it was the fact that somebody would be sad enough to do that, without permission, if he'd asked us it would have been different. The point is people are still having this done to them and are completely unaware, I don't blame the people who take and send videos and pictures to others, I blame the losers who decide to upload that stuff onto pornsites.
Peach
Hmmm... so have you never watched porn on a porn site ... ??
Yeah I have.........forgive me if I'm being thick here but what's your point? Lol
Peach"
So you have watched something uploaded by one of these 'losers'... ? It's self perpetuating... I've no doubt a lot of the other people in videos uploaded to the same site, or others, were equally peed off like you... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Never put anything on the internet that may come back to bite you.Surprised somebody so young could be caught out like that.
We've already said it's not even that the video was out there, it was the fact that somebody would be sad enough to do that, without permission, if he'd asked us it would have been different. The point is people are still having this done to them and are completely unaware, I don't blame the people who take and send videos and pictures to others, I blame the losers who decide to upload that stuff onto pornsites.
Peach
Hmmm... so have you never watched porn on a porn site ... ??
Yeah I have.........forgive me if I'm being thick here but what's your point? Lol
Peach
So you have watched something uploaded by one of these 'losers'... ? It's self perpetuating... I've no doubt a lot of the other people in videos uploaded to the same site, or others, were equally peed off like you..."
I don't watch that kind of stuff, I watch proper distributed porn, not amateur porn stolen from unsuspecting victims. I'm pretty sure there are other people who feel the same and who are unaware they have stuff on these sites, that doesn't change my view that I blame the losers who feel the need to upload others people's stuff without permission are to blame...
Peach |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Never put anything on the internet that may come back to bite you.Surprised somebody so young could be caught out like that.
We've already said it's not even that the video was out there, it was the fact that somebody would be sad enough to do that, without permission, if he'd asked us it would have been different. The point is people are still having this done to them and are completely unaware, I don't blame the people who take and send videos and pictures to others, I blame the losers who decide to upload that stuff onto pornsites.
Peach
Hmmm... so have you never watched porn on a porn site ... ??
Yeah I have.........forgive me if I'm being thick here but what's your point? Lol
Peach
So you have watched something uploaded by one of these 'losers'... ? It's self perpetuating... I've no doubt a lot of the other people in videos uploaded to the same site, or others, were equally peed off like you...
I don't watch that kind of stuff, I watch proper distributed porn, not amateur porn stolen from unsuspecting victims. I'm pretty sure there are other people who feel the same and who are unaware they have stuff on these sites, that doesn't change my view that the losers who feel the need to upload other people's stuff without permission are to blame...
Peach"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Do you still have the details of who it was at all? I would class this as a kind of revenge porn which is now illegal.
If possible, try and engage the perpetrator in a direct email conversation. Set up an email account you don't use for anything else and don't associate it with any social media or register your phone no with them (you can reverse search mobiles etc on many social media sites and it's a classic way blackmailers footprint you).
Then when they respond, the email will have header information which will help the police trace where it came from.
I would also advise the website they have 24 hours to remove them or you will also consider reporting them to the authorities. Usually the threat of the police snooping around is enough to get them to comply |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Id contact the person you chatted to, and say you've been to the police. And the website you found them on have given the police his IP address.
Dont share vids. Its not worth it. |
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