FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Why is it so hard getting a meet ?
Why is it so hard getting a meet ?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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am in the middle of London yet I can't get my self a meet with anybody ! I wouldn't say am the uglyist of people yet am lucky to get a message back! SOMEONE PLEASE HELP |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some spelling mistakes and asking people to send their first message with a face pic attached would put me off.
"
This, your tattoos, and your straight but most on your friends list are TVs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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specially for a new guy ... i had been on this in ireland and was so much fun but in London its really tough for a single guy to get meet really frustrating  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Your profile isn't really well written and the one pic is not particularly enticing.
Most people do look at profiles before considering a reply etc, and certainly before agreeing to meet.
I would also add that you now have another proble which is being here over a year with no verifications. Some people look on this as bad, or that you are not actually serious.
Hence, rather than re-writing or changing current profile, you might like to consider deleting and starting from scratch? New profile, new beginning, new chances!
Whatever you do good luck...there are so many people in London on here...some will be looking for a guy just like you! |
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Hidden veris = no message
Friends who are TV's but now hidden = no message
Demanding a face pic on first message = no message
Spelling mistakes = no message
A myriad of reasons - those were just mine. |
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"Some spelling mistakes and asking people to send their first message with a face pic attached would put me off.
This, your tattoos, and your straight but most on your friends list are TVs "
what you said  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some spelling mistakes and asking people to send their first message with a face pic attached would put me off.
This, your tattoos, and your straight but most on your friends list are TVs
what you said "
Yes agree. With more and more single guys on here apparently not being straight, that could be an issue. Hasten to add no problem with whatever anyone wishes to do, it's more a case of inconsistencies.
Maybe try and get yourself verified by a woman or couple by webcam in the chat room. It's would be a start. More photos. For us, we always read someone profile and at least yours isn't the typical "fil in later" or "never know what to say" one liner and that's very positive, but maybe pad it out a bit. What do you find sexy in a woman? What do you like to do in bed? |
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By *ransGuyTV/TS
over a year ago
Cardiff |
"Straight" but doing the gay guy/flirty girl lip thing in your photo suggests otherwise.
"Mature for age" but the over use of "!" suggests otherwise.
If you aren't showing your face in your profile why must they send one in their first message? You can't demand that and expect people to do it if you are hiding your face in the first place.
You're only on here to "meet friends and chat" so that tells us that you either only want to meet your friends and chat to them, or only meet your friends and only chat with other people. Or you want a tour guide round town.
I know we aren't supposed to criticise profiles if the person doesn't ask us to but we can't answer him without doing that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Being friends with TVs would not put me off, even if profile says straight
I also delete message if no face pic is sent
Spelling mistakes do not put me off
I love tattoos.. I have many
You say you are on here to make friends... I'm not.. I'm just here for sex.. I have friends.. so that would probably put me off
Lots of different things put people off... Don't go by the small percentage of people on forums.. .
More pics..( Yes even a cock pic.. Shock horror.. I want sex.. So I want to see what you have.) .. Would entice me to reply or send message to you
You can't please everyone.. And a lot I've spoken to from London say the same
Go to some clubs or socials and get your face known would be my advice
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"It's not just that. The simple fact is that very few women will meet any guy off the cuff!
You have to befriend them."
I don't agree.
Friendship of a sort may develop but I haven't found it to be a prerequisite for a meet with a lady or couple. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just take your time be nice and a gent non pushy and meets will come it's all about trust and building friends and having the word go round that your a nice guy go play with |
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"Just take your time be nice and a gent non pushy and meets will come it's all about trust and building friends and having the word go round that your a nice guy go play with "
I feel this way about it too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"am in the middle of London yet I can't get my self a meet with anybody ! I wouldn't say am the uglyist of people yet am lucky to get a message back! SOMEONE PLEASE HELP "
Illiterate springs to mind,what sort of chow is on offer?
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Lol!!!
There is something which made me laugh though!
"Message me with a face pic or it will be deleted"
Really?!?! You must be receiving a lot of messages!!! With so many messages, how can you not find a meet? |
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"Lol!!!
There is something which made me laugh though!
"Message me with a face pic or it will be deleted"
Really?!?! You must be receiving a lot of messages!!! With so many messages, how can you not find a meet?"
And guess what!
That barmy sentence is still up there.
Why do we bother trying to help people....? |
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"Lol!!!
There is something which made me laugh though!
"Message me with a face pic or it will be deleted"
Really?!?! You must be receiving a lot of messages!!! With so many messages, how can you not find a meet?
And guess what!
That barmy sentence is still up there.
Why do we bother trying to help people....?"
It's par for the course, but people help because I think people think the more swingers there are, the better. However, if people don't make changes when what they have isn't working, then nothing will change. They will be relegated to the lonely wanks on damp bedding, thrashing away watching Soviet porn until a sad dribble seeps out. They will look down and know that, in that instant, that is where they have spent the whole of their lives getting to that point. A small wet sticky blob on their thigh. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You know the single men who can't even be bothered to "slightly" improve their profile and approach ain't cut out for fab.
Yeah it's harsh what I said but it's the truth, I can easily tell that a lot of single men are only on here to find an instashag and treat it like tinder but oviously they are finding out the harder way if they don't improvise. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I just want to say that folk who want to write the word should know 'chow' is slang for food and 'ciao' is Italian for hi or bye."
Was just about to post this  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some spelling mistakes and asking people to send their first message with a face pic attached would put me off.
This, your tattoos, and your straight but most on your friends list are TVs "
How do I see his friends list? |
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By *lighty1Woman
over a year ago
You Dont Need to Know, right now |
"How do I see his friends list? "
When you look at a profile, their 'friends list' is right at the bottom. However, it only shows a maximum of 20 friends. If you have more than 20 friends, then the list is just a random selection, I think.
And the facility to hide one's friends list completely is in the site's privacy options. No-one knows who I am friends with  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How do I see his friends list?
When you look at a profile, their 'friends list' is right at the bottom. However, it only shows a maximum of 20 friends. If you have more than 20 friends, then the list is just a random selection, I think.
And the facility to hide one's friends list completely is in the site's privacy options. No-one knows who I am friends with "
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Despite the other things mentioned about your profile. In my experience you won't get meets because your single, too old, too young, profile is too long or too short the same with your opening messages. You don't have any verifications or have too many, you live too far away or too close. There are hundreds of reasons why you won't get a meet on here and mostly none of them are down to you. I have tried just about everything except going to organised socials so that's next. I'll try a few but after that I will give up. Good luck. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Despite the other things mentioned about your profile. In my experience you won't get meets because your single, too old, too young, profile is too long or too short the same with your opening messages. You don't have any verifications or have too many, you live too far away or too close. There are hundreds of reasons why you won't get a meet on here and mostly none of them are down to you. I have tried just about everything except going to organised socials so that's next. I'll try a few but after that I will give up. Good luck."
I'm sorry but reasons why people don't get meets is, most of the time,down to them  |
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"Despite the other things mentioned about your profile. In my experience you won't get meets because your single, too old, too young, profile is too long or too short the same with your opening messages. You don't have any verifications or have too many, you live too far away or too close. There are hundreds of reasons why you won't get a meet on here and mostly none of them are down to you. I have tried just about everything except going to organised socials so that's next. I'll try a few but after that I will give up. Good luck."
I don't agree. Those may be the reasons you've been given by people who don't want to meet you. The only person responsible for 'success' or 'failure' on here is yourself. It's easy to blame others as it negates all responsibility. |
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"Despite the other things mentioned about your profile. In my experience you won't get meets because your single, too old, too young, profile is too long or too short the same with your opening messages. You don't have any verifications or have too many, you live too far away or too close. There are hundreds of reasons why you won't get a meet on here and mostly none of them are down to you. I have tried just about everything except going to organised socials so that's next. I'll try a few but after that I will give up. Good luck.
I don't agree. Those may be the reasons you've been given by people who don't want to meet you. The only person responsible for 'success' or 'failure' on here is yourself. It's easy to blame others as it negates all responsibility. "
As you have such insite maybe you can explain where I'm going wrong. I'm polite, not pushy and accept a 'no' gracefully. I prefer a social meet first. I am never rude in messages, always try to pick out something on the other persons profile to comment on and only message those looking for men like me. My profile is clear and honest. I'd love to know how many messages I have sent over the two years I have been on here but one meet (which was great) in all that time is not what I'd call a success. I understand we all have preferences as do I so I'm realistic and do not expect everyone I contact to reply let alone rip their kit off in antisipation but I don't think I'm that repulsive to only get around six responces last year, none of which lead to anything more than a brief exchange of messages. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Despite the other things mentioned about your profile. In my experience you won't get meets because your single, too old, too young, profile is too long or too short the same with your opening messages. You don't have any verifications or have too many, you live too far away or too close. There are hundreds of reasons why you won't get a meet on here and mostly none of them are down to you. I have tried just about everything except going to organised socials so that's next. I'll try a few but after that I will give up. Good luck.
I don't agree. Those may be the reasons you've been given by people who don't want to meet you. The only person responsible for 'success' or 'failure' on here is yourself. It's easy to blame others as it negates all responsibility. "
I said that but not as eloquently  |
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"Despite the other things mentioned about your profile. In my experience you won't get meets because your single, too old, too young, profile is too long or too short the same with your opening messages. You don't have any verifications or have too many, you live too far away or too close. There are hundreds of reasons why you won't get a meet on here and mostly none of them are down to you. I have tried just about everything except going to organised socials so that's next. I'll try a few but after that I will give up. Good luck.
I don't agree. Those may be the reasons you've been given by people who don't want to meet you. The only person responsible for 'success' or 'failure' on here is yourself. It's easy to blame others as it negates all responsibility.
As you have such insite maybe you can explain where I'm going wrong. I'm polite, not pushy and accept a 'no' gracefully. I prefer a social meet first. I am never rude in messages, always try to pick out something on the other persons profile to comment on and only message those looking for men like me. My profile is clear and honest. I'd love to know how many messages I have sent over the two years I have been on here but one meet (which was great) in all that time is not what I'd call a success. I understand we all have preferences as do I so I'm realistic and do not expect everyone I contact to reply let alone rip their kit off in antisipation but I don't think I'm that repulsive to only get around six responces last year, none of which lead to anything more than a brief exchange of messages. "
Who is the common denominator then? |
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"Well obviously me, I am not stupid! You seem to have all the answers so you tell me where I'm going wrong."
Well.....I detect a hint of sarcasm towards me but I hope I'm wrong about that. What do you think of your own profile? Do you think it's the absolutely best one you can write? If you were a lady, what do you think she would think? Imagine your profile is a shop window in a street full of shops.....some shop windows are big and bright and full of interesting things - women stop and look. If they see something that makes them think 'I wonder what's in there?' then they go in the shop....the owner of that shop is happy and chatty and gets sex.
The small beige shop window, slightly dusty and not updated gets walked past....the owner looks sadly on wishing the door bell would chime. |
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"Tried that a long time ago Gordon. I just added my experience to this thread by way of showing the OP is not the only one and you have to keep your expectations low on here. "
Well, managing your expectations is a good piece of advice. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well obviously me, I am not stupid! You seem to have all the answers so you tell me where I'm going wrong."
Chill dude, with respect, your being a tad arsy, people are trying to help..just from this thread, am picking up u are a tad aggressive if things dont go your way..
just be happy, above all friendly and laid back..make friends and dont be so clinical..dont live in your head so much with a set of logical perameters. Sex is illogical..lol. women can pick up you are a computer with a bit of self importance a MILE off dude. Good luck. Peace. |
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"Well obviously me, I am not stupid! You seem to have all the answers so you tell me where I'm going wrong.
Chill dude, with respect, your being a tad arsy, people are trying to help..just from this thread, am picking up u are a tad aggressive if things dont go your way..
just be happy, above all friendly and laid back..make friends and dont be so clinical..dont live in your head so much with a set of logical perameters. Sex is illogical..lol. women can pick up you are a computer with a bit of self importance a MILE off dude. Good luck. Peace. "
I may be a tad sarcastic in my humour but I'm never aggressive. It really is fascinating how anyone can judge someone by a few lines on a forum. I prefer to not judge until I have spoken to people. |
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"Well obviously me, I am not stupid! You seem to have all the answers so you tell me where I'm going wrong.
Well.....I detect a hint of sarcasm towards me but I hope I'm wrong about that. What do you think of your own profile? Do you think it's the absolutely best one you can write? If you were a lady, what do you think she would think? Imagine your profile is a shop window in a street full of shops.....some shop windows are big and bright and full of interesting things - women stop and look. If they see something that makes them think 'I wonder what's in there?' then they go in the shop....the owner of that shop is happy and chatty and gets sex.
The small beige shop window, slightly dusty and not updated gets walked past....the owner looks sadly on wishing the door bell would chime. "
I have tried various profile options from great detail to a few lines all with the same negative results. Maybe it's not perfect but its honest. No that is not a dig at anyone. |
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"Well obviously me, I am not stupid! You seem to have all the answers so you tell me where I'm going wrong.
Well.....I detect a hint of sarcasm towards me but I hope I'm wrong about that. What do you think of your own profile? Do you think it's the absolutely best one you can write? If you were a lady, what do you think she would think? Imagine your profile is a shop window in a street full of shops.....some shop windows are big and bright and full of interesting things - women stop and look. If they see something that makes them think 'I wonder what's in there?' then they go in the shop....the owner of that shop is happy and chatty and gets sex.
The small beige shop window, slightly dusty and not updated gets walked past....the owner looks sadly on wishing the door bell would chime.
I have tried various profile options from great detail to a few lines all with the same negative results. Maybe it's not perfect but its honest. No that is not a dig at anyone. "
Well at the moment it is looking a little threadbare and uninformative, and doesn't really attempt to engage with your intended audience, so maybe you need to restore some of the detail you had there when the profile was longer |
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By *hoenixmanMan
over a year ago
Where men are men, and sheep are nervous...! |
"Well obviously me, I am not stupid! You seem to have all the answers so you tell me where I'm going wrong.
Well.....I detect a hint of sarcasm towards me but I hope I'm wrong about that. What do you think of your own profile? Do you think it's the absolutely best one you can write? If you were a lady, what do you think she would think? Imagine your profile is a shop window in a street full of shops.....some shop windows are big and bright and full of interesting things - women stop and look. If they see something that makes them think 'I wonder what's in there?' then they go in the shop....the owner of that shop is happy and chatty and gets sex.
The small beige shop window, slightly dusty and not updated gets walked past....the owner looks sadly on wishing the door bell would chime.
I have tried various profile options from great detail to a few lines all with the same negative results. Maybe it's not perfect but its honest. No that is not a dig at anyone. "
have you posted a thread in Help and Advice asking for a critique? Give it a try... no one can give you a critique unless you ask for one - forum rules.
Happy to give my twopennyworth if you do.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For a start you ask for a face pic yet you haven't got full one on your file two you are straight yet you have all tvts as friends not theres nothing wrong with them but if you was a tv your self wouldn't look as bad  |
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