FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > To go or not to go
To go or not to go
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Last week I got talking to a lady on here. We got on and we have some interests in common so we arranged a social meet. She was unwell when we got talking so we set the date for tonight.
However, I haven't heard from her for several days and two messages I sent her this week to see how she was doing and ask if she was well enough to meet have not been read.
Should I go tonight? My thinking is yes - we arranged to meet at a pub at 8, so if I'm there on time and wait until 8:30, then if she hasn't either arrived or messaged me then at least I'll have done the right thing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It would depend on how local she is and how far you have to travel.
If she is miles away and my messages hadn't been returned and I never had any recent confirmation then personally I would give it a miss.
However if she is local or you are happy to travel without confirmation then certainly go, wait around for an hour or so and see if she turns up. I would always give a second chance because real life does interrupt plans, but it would have to be someone I know to give them a third. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We're both local and she said the pub I suggested was convenient for her."
I would go, have a drink wait 45 mins or so, then if she doesn't show you have had a pint and may get lucky elsewhere  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd send another message asking if she still wants to meet.
If she doesn't respond to it, I personally wouldn't go."
This.
Unless she's previously said that sometimes she can't get online for several days or something along them lines. Disappearing before a meet is not a good sign.
Also I personally prefer to meet outside the pub and go in together. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you don't mind drinking on your own, then go. Bring a book and have some alone time if she doesn't turn up. Don't expect her to come though, she hasn't confirmed so it's your choice to take the risk of being stood up. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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and you say she was unwell when you chatted-id drop a message asking how she is and for her to let you know if shes still going - youre covered then and in all fairness if it was me and i was was going to go but not spoken for a few days id more than half expect a message from yourself to double check - or id message to say sorry im still ill - |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"She's on my friends list and she's been online in since the first unread message, though not for a day or so. She's also hidden her profile."
Then she has hidden her profile for a reason. Whether it's because of your 'meet' or for something unconnected. Personally I wouldn't go, I think all the signs are ominous.
But if you have nothing better to do, as you say it's local to you, then the worst is, you drink alone.
I wouldn't expect her to turn up though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"She's on my friends list and she's been online in since the first unread message, though not for a day or so. She's also hidden her profile.
Then she has hidden her profile for a reason. Whether it's because of your 'meet' or for something unconnected. Personally I wouldn't go, I think all the signs are ominous.
But if you have nothing better to do, as you say it's local to you, then the worst is, you drink alone.
I wouldn't expect her to turn up though."
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Take a picture of you in the pub holding up a paper with the date on it. Make that your avatar so if she does not turn up she can see what she did.  "
Seems a little petty. |
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By *olgateMan
over a year ago
on the road to nowhere in particular |
"Take a picture of you in the pub holding up a paper with the date on it. Make that your avatar so if she does not turn up she can see what she did.
Seems a little petty."
No arguments about you being a no show that way. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We're both local and she said the pub I suggested was convenient for her."
Turn up then mate, she probably isn't coming though if you haven't heard from her |
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By *exysuzi and Mr.SCouple
over a year ago
CONISTON .Stoke Suburbia. Staffs. BARMOUTH. The Lakes (Monthly) |
Personally, if she has hidden her profile and not messaged back, I wouldn't bother meeting her, or message her again. If you want to go out, then just go, you never know how the night may end. It may be in the most unexpected way.
Forget her and live your life and have fun xxxxxx Suzi |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Take a picture of you in the pub holding up a paper with the date on it. Make that your avatar so if she does not turn up she can see what she did.
Seems a little petty."
Take a picture of you holding a pint looking all sad and dejected |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"She's on my friends list and she's been online in since the first unread message, though not for a day or so. She's also hidden her profile."
if shes been online since the last message I would say shes not interested. yes she may still be unwell but if she was able to come online it would only have taken seconds to message you, I wouldn't go if it were me
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Take a picture of you in the pub holding up a paper with the date on it. Make that your avatar so if she does not turn up she can see what she did.
Seems a little petty.
Take a picture of you holding a pint looking all sad and dejected "
That's just sad  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Take a picture of you in the pub holding up a paper with the date on it. Make that your avatar so if she does not turn up she can see what she did.
Seems a little petty.
Take a picture of you holding a pint looking all sad and dejected
That's just sad "
Yes, but hopefully if you post it on Fab and so a status update saying you're all alone in X pub, that some lovely local lady will feel sorry for you and come join you  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Take a picture of you in the pub holding up a paper with the date on it. Make that your avatar so if she does not turn up she can see what she did.
Seems a little petty.
Take a picture of you holding a pint looking all sad and dejected
That's just sad
Yes, but hopefully if you post it on Fab and so a status update saying you're all alone in X pub, that some lovely local lady will feel sorry for you and come join you "
That seems wildly improbable. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Take a picture of you in the pub holding up a paper with the date on it. Make that your avatar so if she does not turn up she can see what she did.
Seems a little petty.
Take a picture of you holding a pint looking all sad and dejected
That's just sad
Yes, but hopefully if you post it on Fab and so a status update saying you're all alone in X pub, that some lovely local lady will feel sorry for you and come join you
That seems wildly improbable. "
Don't be defeatist  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Take a picture of you in the pub holding up a paper with the date on it. Make that your avatar so if she does not turn up she can see what she did.
Seems a little petty.
Take a picture of you holding a pint looking all sad and dejected
That's just sad
Yes, but hopefully if you post it on Fab and so a status update saying you're all alone in X pub, that some lovely local lady will feel sorry for you and come join you
That seems wildly improbable.
Don't be defeatist "
Not defeatist, defeated. It's a small but crucial difference  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Unless they've confirmed on the day of the meet, don't go. It may be someone who gets off on the idea of somebody being stood up, could even be a bloke who will be there enjoying watching you checking your phone every two minutes. Don't give them the satisfaction but message to say if you don't hear back then you won't go - covers your back then. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have some self respect. You cant be that desperate to get your cock wet. Have a wank and think about it.
Get my cock wet? It's a SOCIAL "
Worse than i thought. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have some self respect. You cant be that desperate to get your cock wet. Have a wank and think about it.
Get my cock wet? It's a SOCIAL
Worse than i thought."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The signs aren't too good.. though for your sake I hope she turns up. Sounds like too many excuses to me though.
I just don't understand why people waste others time by doing this!!! I really can't get my head around it.
This has happened to me a few times.. don't give second chances!!
You could always sit there and look at who's near on here.. something may come up so to speak lol. |
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By *ltravioletWoman
over a year ago
In amongst the Unicorns & fairy dust |
"Last week I got talking to a lady on here. We got on and we have some interests in common so we arranged a social meet. She was unwell when we got talking so we set the date for tonight.
However, I haven't heard from her for several days and two messages I sent her this week to see how she was doing and ask if she was well enough to meet have not been read.
Should I go tonight? My thinking is yes - we arranged to meet at a pub at 8, so if I'm there on time and wait until 8:30, then if she hasn't either arrived or messaged me then at least I'll have done the right thing."
I will give my 2 penneth thought - go with your gut instinct and go with the flow - none of us on here know the messages you've exchanged - if she turns up all good if not just have a drink and see if anyone else is in the area ,,, nothing ventured ,,,, look on the sunny side  |
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"She's on my friends list and she's been online in since the first unread message, though not for a day or so. She's also hidden her profile.
Then she has hidden her profile for a reason. Whether it's because of your 'meet' or for something unconnected. Personally I wouldn't go, I think all the signs are ominous.
But if you have nothing better to do, as you say it's local to you, then the worst is, you drink alone.
I wouldn't expect her to turn up though."
Wise words I fear!! I would go if only to claim the moral high-ground! lol  |
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By *rx1Couple
over a year ago
Okehampton |
"Last week I got talking to a lady on here. We got on and we have some interests in common so we arranged a social meet. She was unwell when we got talking so we set the date for tonight.
However, I haven't heard from her for several days and two messages I sent her this week to see how she was doing and ask if she was well enough to meet have not been read.
Should I go tonight? My thinking is yes - we arranged to meet at a pub at 8, so if I'm there on time and wait until 8:30, then if she hasn't either arrived or messaged me then at least I'll have done the right thing. I will give my 2 penneth thought - go with your gut instinct and go with the flow - none of us on here know the messages you've exchanged - if she turns up all good if not just have a drink and see if anyone else is in the area ,,, nothing ventured ,,,, look on the sunny side "
Well for what it is worth, you are a site supporter, so can see if she has been on the site recently or not.
If she has and has not read your messages, we would guess she is a bit embarrassed and is avoiding you, and will come up with an excuse tomorrow.
If she is well enough to log on, she is well enough to send a quick message. |
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If I were in your shoes, I wouldn't go. Sorry to say, but it does just sound like she's changed her mind - especially if she's been online and hasn't opened your messages... and has now hidden her profile. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Last week I got talking to a lady on here. We got on and we have some interests in common so we arranged a social meet. She was unwell when we got talking so we set the date for tonight.
However, I haven't heard from her for several days and two messages I sent her this week to see how she was doing and ask if she was well enough to meet have not been read.
Should I go tonight? My thinking is yes - we arranged to meet at a pub at 8, so if I'm there on time and wait until 8:30, then if she hasn't either arrived or messaged me then at least I'll have done the right thing."
If it shows she's been on line but just not read your messages or responded i'd take the hint |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"well - did you - did she ? i really want to know 
I did, just to be bloody-minded. She hasn't so far "
I hope she is suitably embarrassed and feeling bad!
Enjoy your drink - chat up the barmaid and enjoy your pint! |
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"well - did you - did she ? i really want to know
I did, just to be bloody-minded. She hasn't so far "
Nothing bloody-minded about it dude, you had arranged a meet, it was local to you, whats to lose?
So, you have a drink or two on your own.... at least you turned up. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"well - did you - did she ? i really want to know
I did, just to be bloody-minded. She hasn't so far
Nothing bloody-minded about it dude, you had arranged a meet, it was local to you, whats to lose?
So, you have a drink or two on your own.... at least you turned up."
Quire. Be what that cliché of single men isn't, that's my plan. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"well - did you - did she ? i really want to know
I did, just to be bloody-minded. She hasn't so far
Nothing bloody-minded about it dude, you had arranged a meet, it was local to you, whats to lose?
So, you have a drink or two on your own.... at least you turned up.
Quire. Be what that cliché of single men isn't, that's my plan.
"
What did that say? You've had more than one - or I have |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"well - did you - did she ? i really want to know
I did, just to be bloody-minded. She hasn't so far
Nothing bloody-minded about it dude, you had arranged a meet, it was local to you, whats to lose?
So, you have a drink or two on your own.... at least you turned up.
Quire. Be what that cliché of single men isn't, that's my plan."
Not meaning to be unpleasant OP, but not sure that turning up to a date that plainly wasn't going to happen is going to break the stereotype. It reinforces some of the clichés. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"She's on my friends list and she's been online in since the first unread message, though not for a day or so. She's also hidden her profile. if shes been online since the last message I would say shes not interested. yes she may still be unwell but if she was able to come online it would only have taken seconds to message you, I wouldn't go if it were me"
Yes, my thoughts exactly. She's not coming. She may also block you for being "pushy" too...lol. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Are you still in the pub? And are you wearing those lucky pants! X "
No, we were supposed to meet at 8. I gave it half an hour then buggered off. And no, the pants were not worn tonight - they can't be that lucky, no-one's taken my trousers off while I've been wearing them! |
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"Are you still in the pub? And are you wearing those lucky pants! X
No, we were supposed to meet at 8. I gave it half an hour then buggered off. And no, the pants were not worn tonight - they can't be that lucky, no-one's taken my trousers off while I've been wearing them!"
Oh gotcha! Well, here's to more productive dates X |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Are you still in the pub? And are you wearing those lucky pants! X
No, we were supposed to meet at 8. I gave it half an hour then buggered off. And no, the pants were not worn tonight - they can't be that lucky, no-one's taken my trousers off while I've been wearing them!
Oh gotcha! Well, here's to more productive dates X "
Hope springs eternal... |
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I always make sure I have a mobile number before arranging any meet . If they go quiet before a meet then i text the day before to confirm all still ok ,if they don't reply then I'm not wasting my time,good make up and time on my hair ect . I'd text them just saying I take it meets then off and wish them well .
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I always make sure I have a mobile number before arranging any meet . If they go quiet before a meet then i text the day before to confirm all still ok ,if they don't reply then I'm not wasting my time,good make up and time on my hair ect . I'd text them just saying I take it meets then off and wish them well .
"
I see the logic, but I think it's different for a single guy asking for a single woman's number than it is for a woman or couple to do it. |
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"I always make sure I have a mobile number before arranging any meet . If they go quiet before a meet then i text the day before to confirm all still ok ,if they don't reply then I'm not wasting my time,good make up and time on my hair ect . I'd text them just saying I take it meets then off and wish them well .
I see the logic, but I think it's different for a single guy asking for a single woman's number than it is for a woman or couple to do it."
Nope guys have asked for mine ,if meeting then perfect sense for both parties to exchange numbers |
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"I always make sure I have a mobile number before arranging any meet . If they go quiet before a meet then i text the day before to confirm all still ok ,if they don't reply then I'm not wasting my time,good make up and time on my hair ect . I'd text them just saying I take it meets then off and wish them well .
I see the logic, but I think it's different for a single guy asking for a single woman's number than it is for a woman or couple to do it."
Why is it different for a single guy? I've never arranged a meet without first talking to the person I'm meeting on the phone. If they give me some bullshit reason why the can't talk then the meet doesn't happen. And guess what? I've never been stood up.
I also wouldn't entertain the thought of turning up somewhere under the circumstances you've described . . . You've a lot to learn, Padawan. |
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