FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > want to experience my partner with another man BUT??
want to experience my partner with another man BUT??
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weve been swinging for a while now, mainly with women and a few couples but only soft swap, but we have always fantasisied about full swap or possibly watching her with another guy! not sure if i could actually sit an watch her be fucked by another guy though! any advice on how to tackle this?? much appriciated!  |
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true, thats been an option for us, but its the fear of it going terribly wrong! such as arguing and never been able to look at eachother again, bit extreme and not likely with us but it does happen does it not haha  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes i think it does happen , but if your happy with each other you should be able to do it . We don't swing because we are bored with each other , we do it to have a laugh , meet new friends and watch each other fucking |
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weve been talking and fantasising over this for a long time, we both want to watch eachother with other people, i get off thinking about me watching her with another guy, but your right about the "right" person, theres ALOT of pricks on this site, mainly guys "no offence" that are really pushy. we just want to have fun at the end of the day |
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yuo need to first find a guy who you can both talk to about this who you would concider to join you so your both happy with him. then talk to each other about the senario. maybe both try it. him with a woman while she watches and vice versa. if your having doubts then you need to overcome them before you try or it will never work as you will argue etc. but at the end of the day you are together and thats who your going back to bed with etc so see it as fun and not a big hurdle. trust and communication is whats key. good luck x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"true, thats been an option for us, but its the fear of it going terribly wrong! such as arguing and never been able to look at eachother again, bit extreme and not likely with us but it does happen does it not haha "
You need to be asking her this question not us. You both need to want this 100% |
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we been soft swing f2f for a few years the thoughts allways nice to think about but actually doing it is the big thing, anyway we went for a drink in newcastle booked a room put a add up and got a really nice fella in and i sat and watched and tbh it was one of the hornyest things ive ever watched i love watching her f2f fun but this took it on another level , just a tip make sure 100% its what you want as you cant rewind back over, hopefully our next one is a week this friday cant wait |
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that sounds like fun, when i think about it i think i would love it, it really turns me on, and she has said she would love to see me with a women, were going to try it i think its just the "what if" we just wanted other peoples experiences to give us a bit of a boost haha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you both think you're ready for it, but a bit aprehensive, maybe see if one of the couples you've already soft swapped with would like to meet again (assuming things went well last time) to take it further?
Might make you both feel a bit more relaxed about it, rather than someone completely new?
If you think either of you might change your mind at the last minute, make sure your swinging partners are aware that this might happen, otherwise they could end up a bit disappointed and miffed.
I'm not sure that I could do full swap as a couple, worried I might get jealous/inferiority complex if my real partner appeared to be getting too much satisfaction from another man! One day maybe I'll be in a relationship and think that I could overcome the jealousy thing, so never say never. |
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being around the same age as you's i know fully how ya feel mate and on are first mmf yes ok i was taking part but i did watch at points to let sara and the fella have some fun, it was very strange at first but after 5mins it was a great thing to watch, if you just take your time and chat to different males you will find one and what we look out for is, if the male cant hold a decent convo with just the male then is not likely he will get to have fun.
not great at wording things like these but i hope you understand |
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"If you both think you're ready for it, but a bit aprehensive, maybe see if one of the couples you've already soft swapped with would like to meet again (assuming things went well last time) to take it further?
Might make you both feel a bit more relaxed about it, rather than someone completely new?
If you think either of you might change your mind at the last minute, make sure your swinging partners are aware that this might happen, otherwise they could end up a bit disappointed and miffed.
I'm not sure that I could do full swap as a couple, worried I might get jealous/inferiority complex if my real partner appeared to be getting too much satisfaction from another man! One day maybe I'll be in a relationship and think that I could overcome the jealousy thing, so never say never."
So what if you see your partner getting more pleasure from another person. Are they only allowed to swap if they don't like it as much as with you?
I mean, not many people here are vain enough to believe that they are THE greatest lover in the world ever, so it's going to happen.
Seeing the other getting so much pleasure is what makes this so great for us. And to add our two pence worth.. a single guy can be a lot easier route to take to start things off. If anyone is going to get jealous it is more likely the lady, plus it's only one person you have to feel comfortable with. Just make sure that you both want this 100%, as like someone else said, when it's done, it's done. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You need to be ok with the idea that they will enjoy themselves with someone else, but that it means nothing to them!
From our perspective, seeing the other one enjoying themselves is paramount to our fun - we would hate it if they werent enjoying it!
Sometimes just going for it can be the way to find out. Hubby found out that he just loves watching me enjoy myself, and the more I enjoy myself then the happier he is! Sometimes he joins right in, sometimes he just takes a step back and watches. Its all about doing what works for both of you. |
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By *umourCouple
over a year ago
Northants |
I can see this all ending in tears!!! 
You don't think you could stand it if your partner seemed to be having some fun with another guy? FFS!!! You really should think long and hard as I don't think you are ready for this. If you are that insecure that you think another guy can please her more than you...
What would happen if you played with a woman and had more fun than you do with your partner? Would she get all huffy too? No, I really don't think you are ready for this...
And trust me, you would be better with a couple if you did decide to go the full sex route. There are some nice guys out there but most seem just to be out for what they can get and may not have any care for your feelings! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have to say that some men enjoy seeing their partner with someone else, some dont..
however, I would never actually get a better time with another man, it maybe different.. but its not got a hope in hell of being better, or even coming close to the sex I have with my Master... and that I would imagine would be the same for most women( if not I would wonder why)
As a man if you can except that no matter what fun your woman is having, its you she has the most fun, the most intimacy, and its you she loves and is with, then issues really wouldnt arise..
Master was unsure for ages how he would feel with me kissing someone else, so we tried it... and while he did feel the turning in his stomach, it was in a good way... Master needed me and wanted me so much more than normal.... so Master hurried home to reclaim me.
My ex got me into swinging, but never really liked me with men, it was all for him with other women.. I have also seen a woman crying in the changing rooms at chams, while her husband tried to make her carry on...
Make sure you do it for you both, not one, not the other, for you both..
Katie.x |
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ok 1, were asking for advice not a telling off lol and 2, weve been with couples and enjoyed it, its just a big step to sit and watch eachother with other people, but thanks for the comment i guess lol |
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"I have to say that some men enjoy seeing their partner with someone else, some dont..
however, I would never actually get a better time with another man, it maybe different.. but its not got a hope in hell of being better, or even coming close to the sex I have with my Master... and that I would imagine would be the same for most women( if not I would wonder why)
As a man if you can except that no matter what fun your woman is having, its you she has the most fun, the most intimacy, and its you she loves and is with, then issues really wouldnt arise..
Master was unsure for ages how he would feel with me kissing someone else, so we tried it... and while he did feel the turning in his stomach, it was in a good way... Master needed me and wanted me so much more than normal.... so Master hurried home to reclaim me.
My ex got me into swinging, but never really liked me with men, it was all for him with other women.. I have also seen a woman crying in the changing rooms at chams, while her husband tried to make her carry on...
Make sure you do it for you both, not one, not the other, for you both..
Katie.x"
thanks for that, yeah were sure we both want it. |
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By *umourCouple
over a year ago
Northants |
"weve been swinging for a while now, mainly with women and a few couples but only soft swap, but we have always fantasisied about full swap or possibly watching her with another guy! not sure if i could actually sit an watch her be fucked by another guy though! any advice on how to tackle this?? much appriciated!
ok 1, were asking for advice not a telling off lol and 2, weve been with couples and enjoyed it, its just a big step to sit and watch eachother with other people, but thanks for the comment i guess lol"
I am sorry if you think THAT was a telling off! Not even close to what some get on here lol... But I am at a loss to tie up your posts..
Firstly (up there) you say you have been with couples for soft swap only and then you say that you have been with other couples and enjoyed it! Soft swap is not the same as full swap!
Secondly you are the one who said you doin't think you could watch her with another guy! My reply was only to indicate that if you feel that way, perhaps you should leave it until you don't feel this way, cos there is a strong likelyhood that it will end in tears!
Thirdly, if you do feel this way, I think you would be misguided to take on a single guy, unless you can get one of the good guys from the forum! They do for the most part seem to be different to the "I want a shag and I want it now!" brigade. I still think you would be better off with a sympathetic couple who maybe have even been through this trial!
Lastly, I am not like others (the majority) on here who thinks each to their own. I say what I think and have opinions on other peoples lifestyles. I happen to think you need to wait and I suspect quite a few others do to but won't say...
At the end of the day it will be your choice. Only you and her know how you are together and that will be the decider, not some wishy washy non judgemental non advice from the politically correct on here. Not from me either, but I will give you an honest answer and then it is up to you.
Whatever you decide, best of luck. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The very fact that you asking this question probably means your not ready to take things further.
Enjoy the fun you have and give it some time  "
In my opinion this advice is the best.
If you were ready you wouldnt be thinking about the what ifs. There should be no doubt in your minds about what you both want. It is nerve racking going the full hog for the first time but being nervous with excitement is entirely different from being nervous because you arent sure whether you can cope with the reality. Its not worth months of pain and upset in your relationship for an hour with a stranger - be sure and take your time.
We went to clubs and only played with each other for a while and we moved onto soft swap and only indulged in that for nearly a year. We have only been full swapping for 4 months. Im glad we took our time  |
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Seriously this is a conversation you should be having with her not here.i have never been in a relationship where sexual jealousy figured,but if it might rear it's head you need to consider the ramifications. |
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we recently full swapped at a party after thinking wed start with soft swing lol , just seemed to progress once we got going . we have an amazing sex life together and love each other without question . we just see it as fun and an addition to an already great relationship.
if either of you have doubts or jealousy issues then id say leave it until your 100 per cent ready . we found it so horny and loved playing around with another couple .
hope this helps x |
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We were in exactly the same situation as you guys and were really apprehensive. Always opted for soft swing. One day we met a couple and it just happened as a nautural progression for that particular evening. It was amazing.
The key is trust!
We always make eyecontact with eachother as much as possible and know if one or the other is "ok" with everything.
We never promise full swap to anyone, for us its an in the moment thing. If you are all happy then just enjoy. Also we do tell people we are more of a 4some couple and not a straight swap couple xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm a single woman and pretty new to this scene and I'm fascinated by the varied topics that make up individuals tastes and preferences. I've met a few 'bulls' but not any women who play with other womens partners while the woman watches and gets off on it but doesn't join in. Is this really that rare? What's the female equivalent of a bull? And don't say cow! Doesn't have the same ring to it somehow! Know you'll forgive my ignorance and looking forward to being enlightened x |
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