FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > The fabswingers guide to everything
The fabswingers guide to everything
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Profile Text:
First of all remember that what you say on your profile will affect the mood of who's reading, so if you're a fun person/couple have a fun spirit on the way you write it
What to have in your profile:
Avatar: This is many times what makes the difference between getting 10 or 100 views, so be sexy, mysterious and fabulous.
Remember to give a brief description of you and what you have to offer.
As important as you have to offer remember to also say what you seek.
This is also the perfect place to write any rule or limitations in your meets.
Be fun and inviting and forget the hate.
A typical mistake is writing hate in caps lock (example: READ THE F*** PROFILE BEFORE MESSAGING ME YOU TIME WASTERS!!!) instead of that be fun and creative adding some way to make sure that when someone message you if they did read or not. ( Example: "Remember to tell me your favorite condom taste if you message me" or like we do have "if you read our profile please write **** as subject")
Disclaimers:
Disclaimers on your profile are totally useless and aren't more than a chain copy/paste spam that is been going around fabswingers.
Sydney university is not stealing pictures from this site. Stealing or copying others pics is covered by the site terms, and No amount of "legal twaddle" will stop idiots from downloading your pictures and post them elsewhere. if someone stole and posted your picture elsewhere or on fabswingers you should report them to the admin. Also remember that once a picture spreads on Internet you will never stop it, so remember if you post a public picture you must be ready for the whole world to see it. Keep your pictures private/friends only if you're worried about privacy.
(admin post about it @ http://www.fabswingers.com/forum/support/32802 )
Interests:
Tick the sexual interests that you have, once again you should be as honest and you can and don't just click them all, this is another case that clicking all wont make you more compatible with others.
.
.
PHOTOS
Getting photo verified:
This is a important step specially for new members towards proving that the profile belongs to a female/male/couple.
Some people block who isn't verified so this is one of the few Win/Win things that you can do if you have the spare 5 minutes it takes.
What pictures to Upload:
Generally people should have 1 of each from the following: Clear head shot picture, full body picture, 18+ pic.
This is probably the most important factor on your profile attractiveness.
Remember to be sexy and creative and upload 1 bit of everything. here's some ideas: Face pic, body pic, your favorite tattoo pic, piercing pic, your last meet pic, socializing pic(make sure you blur out anyone that isn't on your profile), your sexy bits pic, maybe a artistic pic of your body shadow on a wall? be creative  .
Private/friends/public?
I recommend to upload everything to private first, then you should set what do you want to use as intimate or public. most people like to show a body and a vagina/cock pic and maybe a full body with blurred face to give an idea of what they look like without revealing their identity, others prefer to show a clear face picture(remember that anyone you know might recognize you) and keep the sexy ones as private but basically most people don't show both face and body.
A common mistake on pictures is the lack of information present of most profiles public pictures, as for examples: Couples that have no male present on any public pictures, males that have 4 cock pictures as public pictures and nothing else.
Keep as private the ones you don't want neither public or friends so see ( some members that have high amount of friends prefer to keep the face pictures as private).
Message filters:
Remember to save yours and everyone else's time you should set filters to what you aren't looking forward to meet.
Single men: This will block any single male from contacting you , but remember you can still message them and if you do they will be able to message back to you. Anyone you message will be unlocked of any filters you set.
Newbies: You should set this filter if you're looking for the more experienced/verified members of the site, this might be also a good way to block spammers/fakes that make profiles to picture hunting etc. Remember that by setting this you might miss out that new real sexy member that could be trying to messaging you.
Public photos on profile: this will block anyone that doesn't have public photos. Remember that it will also block members that choose to have all their pictures as private/friends if they want to keep their privacy to a maximum.
Not verified: Probably the strongest (yet not ultimate) time wasters filter, setting this on will have the same downsides as the "newbies" one.
Site Supported: Another way to block possible time wasters although there is many serious and experienced swingers that aren't site supporters, also remember that paying 5£ will not mean that you're genuine.
Emails/Notifications:
Remember to set notifications to only what requires a quick response from you. Most people prefer to visit the site daily and check everything with time, others like to answer they're messages as soon as possible so remember to tune it to your needs.
Privacy:
Looked at me: This option can bring extra attention to your profile but also can bring the wrong one, for example most people you see and don't message/wink is because they aren't really what you're looking for, showing yourself in their "looked at me" list will get them to see your and possibly message you to just find out that you aren't interested.
Search engines:
Beware this is search engines such as google, not fabswingers browsing. Most search engines will cache sites for 1-2 months, so remember even if you delete/edit your profile it will show how it was 1 month ago on google for example.
Friends list on profile:
This is another privacy option that can be seen in different ways. basically you might not be proud of showing that you're friends with this or that person, or not wanting to be asked about them.
Note that unverified single bi-fems with hidden friends list are in the vast majority "friend invite spammers" to collect private pictures (there's always exceptions..).
.
.
WINKS
The big question, what is a wink? when to use? what does it mean?
There is many views to it, but the 2 main ones i believe that are:
1) Was too lazy to send a message so just winked
2) Has some interest in getting to know more of me and liked my profile and want to know if he/she/them might be compatible with me before sending a message.
Typical way is , if you like and aren't sure if you're what they're looking for, give them a wink, if they are interested to know more from you, they will wink back giving you green light to send them a nice message. Same way applies if you get winked, take a look at them see if you might be compatible and wink back if you do, then wait for a message back 
.
.
SENDING A MESSAGE
As important, or even more, than your profile is the way you initiate contact with someone else.
Here is a simple list of what you have to do.
1) Do your homework, Read your "target's" profile with attention before messaging, this saves you from looking like an idiot/spammer while asking whats already stated on profile.
2) tell a bit about yourself and what are your interests towards the person/couple you're contacting
3) Make sure you point out things that you think you're compatible to (example: "i see that you like to meet for a drink before jumping bed just like i do")
4) Read their profile carefully even if they messaged you first, again, you don't to be asking something that it's already there
.
.
DON'T DO THE FOLLOWING:
1) Re-message asking for a answer:
This is seen as being pushy and can get you to lose potential meets, remember some of us like to read and answer later or also have to show it to our partner before doing it.
If you don't get a answer don't take things personally, most people find it easier to delete than waste 10 messages to explain why they don't like you.
2) NEVER "Copy Paste":
Copy paste messages are obvious, lazy and give the impression that you've just sent that to everyone without reading profiles.
.
.
FRIEND INVITES/FRIENDS LIST
Who to invite:
Some people like to invite who they like to keep in touch, others invite only who they are actually meeting or interest to meet soon. Just be aware that inviting someone is exactly the same as sending all your "friends only" pictures as they can accept, take a look, and remove you. Never invite without notice, most people prefer you to swap some messages first and then you can show the interest of adding them.
Verification:
Verifications are very important and most people like to get themselves verified but remember that there is different types of verifications.
The most reliable verifications are meeting in person and photo verified, but remember that photo verification by the admin just proves if the owner of the account is in fact a male/female/couple.
You shouldn't insist with anyone to verify you, if they did enjoy meeting you they will likely verify you, but some members have a lot of meets and they don't have the time to verify everyone they meet. If you have no verifications at all you can politely ask to verify that you're real if they don't leave it there.
.
VERIFYING SOMEONE ELSE.
When you verify someone else, specially on webcam you should make sure that you're seeing a real person. when they ask you to verify them ask them to do a unusual unique action that isn't unlike to be present on videos ( example: Tell them to thumbs up then thumbs down) this is because there is software that allows you to play videos where your webcam should be (this is against website rules).
.
HOME PAGE:
After you've done your first searches this is the best place to keep up with things, you can check for new meets here, new members that joined, friends updates and new uploaded pictures in your area.
More to come soon.. | |||
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"Hi, this is Woody, just though of writing this general guide which will answer many general questions and give some advice, specially to new members, although most seems to be common sense many people fall into little mistakes that tend to get them in a harder position to get meets. Remember this is a personal point of view and may differ from person to person. . . Fabswingers guide to everything: . . SETTING UP YOUR PROFILE . . Account details: Starting my marital status you should always make sure you give a correct answer, even if as a single man and being attached/married. You might get less chances of meeting as a single if you're attached or married but stating the correct information on your profile will surely give a impression that you're being very honest about your interests. Looking for: You should tick what you're looking for, although it seems very straight forward, ticking everything will NOT mean you're more likely to get a meet. Remember that some straight people wont want to meet you if you're looking for people of the same sex as you, or TV/TS, the same way a lesbian might not meet a woman that is also looking for man, etc. The fact that you're ticking every box makes you look "desperate and looking for anything that accepts you", just play it simple, ask yourself what you would like to meet only and you will get people that are ok with your tastes. Aged between:? Be honest and ask yourself what ages are you looking forward to meet, just as sexuality, setting it as 18-80 might give the impression that you're desperate or maybe a bit of a freak? This is one more case where setting a higher age range wont necessarily mean that you will get more compatibility I can travel: You should tick if you're able to travel for a meet, this usually doesn't apply to a 1-5 miles trip hence most people can actually do that. Opinions might differ but usually ticking as you're able to travel means that you have a car and you're able to drive for at least a 2 digit mile range to meet someone. I can accommodate: Tick this if you can accommodate, please note that the majority of people wont count the backseat of your car or the hotel around the corner as accommodation. This usually means that you have a house/place(not living with parents?) that you can get free for a meet. Beware that many people aren't ok with meeting people while they have children sleeping upstairs or if you live with room mates. . . PERSONAL DETAILS Location: This is where you should give the information about your location, depending on how much privacy you want to keep to yourself there is usually 3 ways people do it, although i would recommend only 2 of them. Some people are ok with writing the town name(specially if its a big town), some others live in a tiny village so they prefer to either write some nearby big town or write the county name. I personally would not recommend writing the wrong town as that can make u be seen as someone that doesn't have a problem about lying making things up about yourself. Names: Again this comes down to how private about your information you want to be. Some people have a swinging name ( example your name is Mary, but your swinging name Sophie) and some people take this further into meeting/visiting clubs using the "swinging name" while keeping the real identity secret. Also be aware that writing your real name(s) will make you easier to be recognised ( who knows by who.. family member? work? neighbour?..) Date of Birth: Here you should make sure you're not going to tell everyone that you're 10 years younger than you're actually are. Be honest and remember that some people prefer "toy boys/young woman" some others prefer an "experienced matured male/female" if you're a couple like us with a big difference in ages and you're afraid to be recognized by friends that know what you're 23 and your partner 45, you can change into adding or subtracting 1-2 years into your age, but don't abuse from it otherwise it might end up on a bad surprise to who you meet as they expect a 29 year old and you look 39. Sexuality: Once again its time to be 100% honest, setting yourself as bi when you're straight won't give you more meets. Some people want only Straight, some only bi, some only homosexuals. Many men fall into setting themselves as bi in order to get a meet with a couple that has a bi man, this can end up with you being invited to do something you don't like. When it comes to bisexual/bi-curious remember to set on your profile how bisexual you are, many people only enjoy the oral sex side of it, others prefer anal/sharing sex toys etc. Tattoo's Piercings Drinking Smoking: Again, some people love it, some dislike it, be honest and you will find people who enjoys the life the same way you do. . WRITTING YOUR PROFILE Title: This is what will be first seen when someone doest a search for, you can either be a bit descriptive of what you want or just be original
Profile Text:
First of all remember that what you say on your profile will affect the mood of who's reading, so if you're a fun person/couple have a fun spirit on the way you write it
What to have in your profile:
Avatar: This is many times what makes the difference between getting 10 or 100 views, so be sexy, mysterious and fabulous.
Remember to give a brief description of you and what you have to offer.
As important as you have to offer remember to also say what you seek.
This is also the perfect place to write any rule or limitations in your meets.
Be fun and inviting and forget the hate.
A typical mistake is writing hate in caps lock (example: READ THE F*** PROFILE BEFORE MESSAGING ME YOU TIME WASTERS!!!) instead of that be fun and creative adding some way to make sure that when someone message you if they did read or not. ( Example: "Remember to tell me your favorite condom taste if you message me" or like we do have "if you read our profile please write **** as subject")
Disclaimers:
Disclaimers on your profile are totally useless and aren't more than a chain copy/paste spam that is been going around fabswingers.
Sydney university is not stealing pictures from this site. Stealing or copying others pics is covered by the site terms, and No amount of "legal twaddle" will stop idiots from downloading your pictures and post them elsewhere. if someone stole and posted your picture elsewhere or on fabswingers you should report them to the admin. Also remember that once a picture spreads on Internet you will never stop it, so remember if you post a public picture you must be ready for the whole world to see it. Keep your pictures private/friends only if you're worried about privacy.
(admin post about it @ http://www.fabswingers.com/forum/support/32802 )
Interests:
Tick the sexual interests that you have, once again you should be as honest and you can and don't just click them all, this is another case that clicking all wont make you more compatible with others.
.
.
PHOTOS
Getting photo verified:
This is a important step specially for new members towards proving that the profile belongs to a female/male/couple.
Some people block who isn't verified so this is one of the few Win/Win things that you can do if you have the spare 5 minutes it takes.
What pictures to Upload:
Generally people should have 1 of each from the following: Clear head shot picture, full body picture, 18+ pic.
This is probably the most important factor on your profile attractiveness.
Remember to be sexy and creative and upload 1 bit of everything. here's some ideas: Face pic, body pic, your favorite tattoo pic, piercing pic, your last meet pic, socializing pic(make sure you blur out anyone that isn't on your profile), your sexy bits pic, maybe a artistic pic of your body shadow on a wall? be creative .
Private/friends/public?
I recommend to upload everything to private first, then you should set what do you want to use as intimate or public. most people like to show a body and a vagina/cock pic and maybe a full body with blurred face to give an idea of what they look like without revealing their identity, others prefer to show a clear face picture(remember that anyone you know might recognize you) and keep the sexy ones as private but basically most people don't show both face and body.
A common mistake on pictures is the lack of information present of most profiles public pictures, as for examples: Couples that have no male present on any public pictures, males that have 4 cock pictures as public pictures and nothing else.
Keep as private the ones you don't want neither public or friends so see ( some members that have high amount of friends prefer to keep the face pictures as private).
Message filters:
Remember to save yours and everyone else's time you should set filters to what you aren't looking forward to meet.
Single men: This will block any single male from contacting you , but remember you can still message them and if you do they will be able to message back to you. Anyone you message will be unlocked of any filters you set.
Newbies: You should set this filter if you're looking for the more experienced/verified members of the site, this might be also a good way to block spammers/fakes that make profiles to picture hunting etc. Remember that by setting this you might miss out that new real sexy member that could be trying to messaging you.
Public photos on profile: this will block anyone that doesn't have public photos. Remember that it will also block members that choose to have all their pictures as private/friends if they want to keep their privacy to a maximum.
Not verified: Probably the strongest (yet not ultimate) time wasters filter, setting this on will have the same downsides as the "newbies" one.
Site Supported: Another way to block possible time wasters although there is many serious and experienced swingers that aren't site supporters, also remember that paying 5£ will not mean that you're genuine.
Emails/Notifications:
Remember to set notifications to only what requires a quick response from you. Most people prefer to visit the site daily and check everything with time, others like to answer they're messages as soon as possible so remember to tune it to your needs.
Privacy:
Looked at me: This option can bring extra attention to your profile but also can bring the wrong one, for example most people you see and don't message/wink is because they aren't really what you're looking for, showing yourself in their "looked at me" list will get them to see your and possibly message you to just find out that you aren't interested.
Search engines:
Beware this is search engines such as google, not fabswingers browsing. Most search engines will cache sites for 1-2 months, so remember even if you delete/edit your profile it will show how it was 1 month ago on google for example.
Friends list on profile:
This is another privacy option that can be seen in different ways. basically you might not be proud of showing that you're friends with this or that person, or not wanting to be asked about them.
Note that unverified single bi-fems with hidden friends list are in the vast majority "friend invite spammers" to collect private pictures (there's always exceptions..).
.
.
WINKS
The big question, what is a wink? when to use? what does it mean?
There is many views to it, but the 2 main ones i believe that are:
1) Was too lazy to send a message so just winked
2) Has some interest in getting to know more of me and liked my profile and want to know if he/she/them might be compatible with me before sending a message.
Typical way is , if you like and aren't sure if you're what they're looking for, give them a wink, if they are interested to know more from you, they will wink back giving you green light to send them a nice message. Same way applies if you get winked, take a look at them see if you might be compatible and wink back if you do, then wait for a message back
.
.
SENDING A MESSAGE
As important, or even more, than your profile is the way you initiate contact with someone else.
Here is a simple list of what you have to do.
1) Do your homework, Read your "target's" profile with attention before messaging, this saves you from looking like an idiot/spammer while asking whats already stated on profile.
2) tell a bit about yourself and what are your interests towards the person/couple you're contacting
3) Make sure you point out things that you think you're compatible to (example: "i see that you like to meet for a drink before jumping bed just like i do")
4) Read their profile carefully even if they messaged you first, again, you don't to be asking something that it's already there
.
.
DON'T DO THE FOLLOWING:
1) Re-message asking for a answer:
This is seen as being pushy and can get you to lose potential meets, remember some of us like to read and answer later or also have to show it to our partner before doing it.
If you don't get a answer don't take things personally, most people find it easier to delete than waste 10 messages to explain why they don't like you.
2) NEVER "Copy Paste":
Copy paste messages are obvious, lazy and give the impression that you've just sent that to everyone without reading profiles.
.
.
FRIEND INVITES/FRIENDS LIST
Who to invite:
Some people like to invite who they like to keep in touch, others invite only who they are actually meeting or interest to meet soon. Just be aware that inviting someone is exactly the same as sending all your "friends only" pictures as they can accept, take a look, and remove you. Never invite without notice, most people prefer you to swap some messages first and then you can show the interest of adding them.
Verification:
Verifications are very important and most people like to get themselves verified but remember that there is different types of verifications.
The most reliable verifications are meeting in person and photo verified, but remember that photo verification by the admin just proves if the owner of the account is in fact a male/female/couple.
You shouldn't insist with anyone to verify you, if they did enjoy meeting you they will likely verify you, but some members have a lot of meets and they don't have the time to verify everyone they meet. If you have no verifications at all you can politely ask to verify that you're real if they don't leave it there.
.
VERIFYING SOMEONE ELSE.
When you verify someone else, specially on webcam you should make sure that you're seeing a real person. when they ask you to verify them ask them to do a unusual unique action that isn't unlike to be present on videos ( example: Tell them to thumbs up then thumbs down) this is because there is software that allows you to play videos where your webcam should be (this is against website rules).
.
HOME PAGE:
After you've done your first searches this is the best place to keep up with things, you can check for new meets here, new members that joined, friends updates and new uploaded pictures in your area.
More to come soon.. "do you really think most blokes will read this?? where are the tit pics? | |||
"Hi, this is Woody, just though of writing this general guide which will answer many general questions and give some advice, specially to new members, although most seems to be common sense many people fall into little mistakes that tend to get them in a harder position to get meets. Remember this is a personal point of view and may differ from person to person. . . Fabswingers guide to everything: . . SETTING UP YOUR PROFILE . . Account details: Starting my marital status you should always make sure you give a correct answer, even if as a single man and being attached/married. You might get less chances of meeting as a single if you're attached or married but stating the correct information on your profile will surely give a impression that you're being very honest about your interests. Looking for: You should tick what you're looking for, although it seems very straight forward, ticking everything will NOT mean you're more likely to get a meet. Remember that some straight people wont want to meet you if you're looking for people of the same sex as you, or TV/TS, the same way a lesbian might not meet a woman that is also looking for man, etc. The fact that you're ticking every box makes you look "desperate and looking for anything that accepts you", just play it simple, ask yourself what you would like to meet only and you will get people that are ok with your tastes. Aged between:? Be honest and ask yourself what ages are you looking forward to meet, just as sexuality, setting it as 18-80 might give the impression that you're desperate or maybe a bit of a freak? This is one more case where setting a higher age range wont necessarily mean that you will get more compatibility I can travel: You should tick if you're able to travel for a meet, this usually doesn't apply to a 1-5 miles trip hence most people can actually do that. Opinions might differ but usually ticking as you're able to travel means that you have a car and you're able to drive for at least a 2 digit mile range to meet someone. I can accommodate: Tick this if you can accommodate, please note that the majority of people wont count the backseat of your car or the hotel around the corner as accommodation. This usually means that you have a house/place(not living with parents?) that you can get free for a meet. Beware that many people aren't ok with meeting people while they have children sleeping upstairs or if you live with room mates. . . PERSONAL DETAILS Location: This is where you should give the information about your location, depending on how much privacy you want to keep to yourself there is usually 3 ways people do it, although i would recommend only 2 of them. Some people are ok with writing the town name(specially if its a big town), some others live in a tiny village so they prefer to either write some nearby big town or write the county name. I personally would not recommend writing the wrong town as that can make u be seen as someone that doesn't have a problem about lying making things up about yourself. Names: Again this comes down to how private about your information you want to be. Some people have a swinging name ( example your name is Mary, but your swinging name Sophie) and some people take this further into meeting/visiting clubs using the "swinging name" while keeping the real identity secret. Also be aware that writing your real name(s) will make you easier to be recognised ( who knows by who.. family member? work? neighbour?..) Date of Birth: Here you should make sure you're not going to tell everyone that you're 10 years younger than you're actually are. Be honest and remember that some people prefer "toy boys/young woman" some others prefer an "experienced matured male/female" if you're a couple like us with a big difference in ages and you're afraid to be recognized by friends that know what you're 23 and your partner 45, you can change into adding or subtracting 1-2 years into your age, but don't abuse from it otherwise it might end up on a bad surprise to who you meet as they expect a 29 year old and you look 39. Sexuality: Once again its time to be 100% honest, setting yourself as bi when you're straight won't give you more meets. Some people want only Straight, some only bi, some only homosexuals. Many men fall into setting themselves as bi in order to get a meet with a couple that has a bi man, this can end up with you being invited to do something you don't like. When it comes to bisexual/bi-curious remember to set on your profile how bisexual you are, many people only enjoy the oral sex side of it, others prefer anal/sharing sex toys etc. Tattoo's Piercings Drinking Smoking: Again, some people love it, some dislike it, be honest and you will find people who enjoys the life the same way you do. . WRITTING YOUR PROFILE Title: This is what will be first seen when someone doest a search for, you can either be a bit descriptive of what you want or just be original
Profile Text:
First of all remember that what you say on your profile will affect the mood of who's reading, so if you're a fun person/couple have a fun spirit on the way you write it
What to have in your profile:
Avatar: This is many times what makes the difference between getting 10 or 100 views, so be sexy, mysterious and fabulous.
Remember to give a brief description of you and what you have to offer.
As important as you have to offer remember to also say what you seek.
This is also the perfect place to write any rule or limitations in your meets.
Be fun and inviting and forget the hate.
A typical mistake is writing hate in caps lock (example: READ THE F*** PROFILE BEFORE MESSAGING ME YOU TIME WASTERS!!!) instead of that be fun and creative adding some way to make sure that when someone message you if they did read or not. ( Example: "Remember to tell me your favorite condom taste if you message me" or like we do have "if you read our profile please write **** as subject")
Disclaimers:
Disclaimers on your profile are totally useless and aren't more than a chain copy/paste spam that is been going around fabswingers.
Sydney university is not stealing pictures from this site. Stealing or copying others pics is covered by the site terms, and No amount of "legal twaddle" will stop idiots from downloading your pictures and post them elsewhere. if someone stole and posted your picture elsewhere or on fabswingers you should report them to the admin. Also remember that once a picture spreads on Internet you will never stop it, so remember if you post a public picture you must be ready for the whole world to see it. Keep your pictures private/friends only if you're worried about privacy.
(admin post about it @ http://www.fabswingers.com/forum/support/32802 )
Interests:
Tick the sexual interests that you have, once again you should be as honest and you can and don't just click them all, this is another case that clicking all wont make you more compatible with others.
.
.
PHOTOS
Getting photo verified:
This is a important step specially for new members towards proving that the profile belongs to a female/male/couple.
Some people block who isn't verified so this is one of the few Win/Win things that you can do if you have the spare 5 minutes it takes.
What pictures to Upload:
Generally people should have 1 of each from the following: Clear head shot picture, full body picture, 18+ pic.
This is probably the most important factor on your profile attractiveness.
Remember to be sexy and creative and upload 1 bit of everything. here's some ideas: Face pic, body pic, your favorite tattoo pic, piercing pic, your last meet pic, socializing pic(make sure you blur out anyone that isn't on your profile), your sexy bits pic, maybe a artistic pic of your body shadow on a wall? be creative .
Private/friends/public?
I recommend to upload everything to private first, then you should set what do you want to use as intimate or public. most people like to show a body and a vagina/cock pic and maybe a full body with blurred face to give an idea of what they look like without revealing their identity, others prefer to show a clear face picture(remember that anyone you know might recognize you) and keep the sexy ones as private but basically most people don't show both face and body.
A common mistake on pictures is the lack of information present of most profiles public pictures, as for examples: Couples that have no male present on any public pictures, males that have 4 cock pictures as public pictures and nothing else.
Keep as private the ones you don't want neither public or friends so see ( some members that have high amount of friends prefer to keep the face pictures as private).
Message filters:
Remember to save yours and everyone else's time you should set filters to what you aren't looking forward to meet.
Single men: This will block any single male from contacting you , but remember you can still message them and if you do they will be able to message back to you. Anyone you message will be unlocked of any filters you set.
Newbies: You should set this filter if you're looking for the more experienced/verified members of the site, this might be also a good way to block spammers/fakes that make profiles to picture hunting etc. Remember that by setting this you might miss out that new real sexy member that could be trying to messaging you.
Public photos on profile: this will block anyone that doesn't have public photos. Remember that it will also block members that choose to have all their pictures as private/friends if they want to keep their privacy to a maximum.
Not verified: Probably the strongest (yet not ultimate) time wasters filter, setting this on will have the same downsides as the "newbies" one.
Site Supported: Another way to block possible time wasters although there is many serious and experienced swingers that aren't site supporters, also remember that paying 5£ will not mean that you're genuine.
Emails/Notifications:
Remember to set notifications to only what requires a quick response from you. Most people prefer to visit the site daily and check everything with time, others like to answer they're messages as soon as possible so remember to tune it to your needs.
Privacy:
Looked at me: This option can bring extra attention to your profile but also can bring the wrong one, for example most people you see and don't message/wink is because they aren't really what you're looking for, showing yourself in their "looked at me" list will get them to see your and possibly message you to just find out that you aren't interested.
Search engines:
Beware this is search engines such as google, not fabswingers browsing. Most search engines will cache sites for 1-2 months, so remember even if you delete/edit your profile it will show how it was 1 month ago on google for example.
Friends list on profile:
This is another privacy option that can be seen in different ways. basically you might not be proud of showing that you're friends with this or that person, or not wanting to be asked about them.
Note that unverified single bi-fems with hidden friends list are in the vast majority "friend invite spammers" to collect private pictures (there's always exceptions..).
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WINKS
The big question, what is a wink? when to use? what does it mean?
There is many views to it, but the 2 main ones i believe that are:
1) Was too lazy to send a message so just winked
2) Has some interest in getting to know more of me and liked my profile and want to know if he/she/them might be compatible with me before sending a message.
Typical way is , if you like and aren't sure if you're what they're looking for, give them a wink, if they are interested to know more from you, they will wink back giving you green light to send them a nice message. Same way applies if you get winked, take a look at them see if you might be compatible and wink back if you do, then wait for a message back
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SENDING A MESSAGE
As important, or even more, than your profile is the way you initiate contact with someone else.
Here is a simple list of what you have to do.
1) Do your homework, Read your "target's" profile with attention before messaging, this saves you from looking like an idiot/spammer while asking whats already stated on profile.
2) tell a bit about yourself and what are your interests towards the person/couple you're contacting
3) Make sure you point out things that you think you're compatible to (example: "i see that you like to meet for a drink before jumping bed just like i do")
4) Read their profile carefully even if they messaged you first, again, you don't to be asking something that it's already there
.
.
DON'T DO THE FOLLOWING:
1) Re-message asking for a answer:
This is seen as being pushy and can get you to lose potential meets, remember some of us like to read and answer later or also have to show it to our partner before doing it.
If you don't get a answer don't take things personally, most people find it easier to delete than waste 10 messages to explain why they don't like you.
2) NEVER "Copy Paste":
Copy paste messages are obvious, lazy and give the impression that you've just sent that to everyone without reading profiles.
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FRIEND INVITES/FRIENDS LIST
Who to invite:
Some people like to invite who they like to keep in touch, others invite only who they are actually meeting or interest to meet soon. Just be aware that inviting someone is exactly the same as sending all your "friends only" pictures as they can accept, take a look, and remove you. Never invite without notice, most people prefer you to swap some messages first and then you can show the interest of adding them.
Verification:
Verifications are very important and most people like to get themselves verified but remember that there is different types of verifications.
The most reliable verifications are meeting in person and photo verified, but remember that photo verification by the admin just proves if the owner of the account is in fact a male/female/couple.
You shouldn't insist with anyone to verify you, if they did enjoy meeting you they will likely verify you, but some members have a lot of meets and they don't have the time to verify everyone they meet. If you have no verifications at all you can politely ask to verify that you're real if they don't leave it there.
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VERIFYING SOMEONE ELSE.
When you verify someone else, specially on webcam you should make sure that you're seeing a real person. when they ask you to verify them ask them to do a unusual unique action that isn't unlike to be present on videos ( example: Tell them to thumbs up then thumbs down) this is because there is software that allows you to play videos where your webcam should be (this is against website rules).
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HOME PAGE:
After you've done your first searches this is the best place to keep up with things, you can check for new meets here, new members that joined, friends updates and new uploaded pictures in your area.
More to come soon..
do you really think most blokes will read this?? where are the tit pics?"My thoughts exactly  | |||
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S. | |||
"The fact that you're ticking every box makes you look "desperate gave up reading having seen that "its a personal point of view, as most males, you skipped what i wrote right from the start | |||
"You forgot a section for forum posts; When replying to a long forum post, don't quote the whole post just the relevant bit
S. "thats me told off then,haha | |||
"You forgot a section for forum posts; When replying to a long forum post, don't quote the whole post just the relevant bit
S.
thats me told off then,haha"Lol, not at all, just tongue in cheek | |||
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"Hi, this is Woody, just though of writing this general guide which will answer many general questions and give some advice, specially to new members, although most seems to be common sense many people fall into little mistakes that tend to get them in a harder position to get meets. Remember this is a personal point of view and may differ from person to person. . . Fabswingers guide to everything: . . SETTING UP YOUR PROFILE . . Account details: Starting my marital status you should always make sure you give a correct answer, even if as a single man and being attached/married. You might get less chances of meeting as a single if you're attached or married but stating the correct information on your profile will surely give a impression that you're being very honest about your interests. Looking for: You should tick what you're looking for, although it seems very straight forward, ticking everything will NOT mean you're more likely to get a meet. Remember that some straight people wont want to meet you if you're looking for people of the same sex as you, or TV/TS, the same way a lesbian might not meet a woman that is also looking for man, etc. The fact that you're ticking every box makes you look "desperate and looking for anything that accepts you", just play it simple, ask yourself what you would like to meet only and you will get people that are ok with your tastes. Aged between:? Be honest and ask yourself what ages are you looking forward to meet, just as sexuality, setting it as 18-80 might give the impression that you're desperate or maybe a bit of a freak? This is one more case where setting a higher age range wont necessarily mean that you will get more compatibility I can travel: You should tick if you're able to travel for a meet, this usually doesn't apply to a 1-5 miles trip hence most people can actually do that. Opinions might differ but usually ticking as you're able to travel means that you have a car and you're able to drive for at least a 2 digit mile range to meet someone. I can accommodate: Tick this if you can accommodate, please note that the majority of people wont count the backseat of your car or the hotel around the corner as accommodation. This usually means that you have a house/place(not living with parents?) that you can get free for a meet. Beware that many people aren't ok with meeting people while they have children sleeping upstairs or if you live with room mates. . . PERSONAL DETAILS Location: This is where you should give the information about your location, depending on how much privacy you want to keep to yourself there is usually 3 ways people do it, although i would recommend only 2 of them. Some people are ok with writing the town name(specially if its a big town), some others live in a tiny village so they prefer to either write some nearby big town or write the county name. I personally would not recommend writing the wrong town as that can make u be seen as someone that doesn't have a problem about lying making things up about yourself. Names: Again this comes down to how private about your information you want to be. Some people have a swinging name ( example your name is Mary, but your swinging name Sophie) and some people take this further into meeting/visiting clubs using the "swinging name" while keeping the real identity secret. Also be aware that writing your real name(s) will make you easier to be recognised ( who knows by who.. family member? work? neighbour?..) Date of Birth: Here you should make sure you're not going to tell everyone that you're 10 years younger than you're actually are. Be honest and remember that some people prefer "toy boys/young woman" some others prefer an "experienced matured male/female" if you're a couple like us with a big difference in ages and you're afraid to be recognized by friends that know what you're 23 and your partner 45, you can change into adding or subtracting 1-2 years into your age, but don't abuse from it otherwise it might end up on a bad surprise to who you meet as they expect a 29 year old and you look 39. Sexuality: Once again its time to be 100% honest, setting yourself as bi when you're straight won't give you more meets. Some people want only Straight, some only bi, some only homosexuals. Many men fall into setting themselves as bi in order to get a meet with a couple that has a bi man, this can end up with you being invited to do something you don't like. When it comes to bisexual/bi-curious remember to set on your profile how bisexual you are, many people only enjoy the oral sex side of it, others prefer anal/sharing sex toys etc. Tattoo's Piercings Drinking Smoking: Again, some people love it, some dislike it, be honest and you will find people who enjoys the life the same way you do. . WRITTING YOUR PROFILE Title: This is what will be first seen when someone doest a search for, you can either be a bit descriptive of what you want or just be original
Profile Text:
First of all remember that what you say on your profile will affect the mood of who's reading, so if you're a fun person/couple have a fun spirit on the way you write it
What to have in your profile:
Avatar: This is many times what makes the difference between getting 10 or 100 views, so be sexy, mysterious and fabulous.
Remember to give a brief description of you and what you have to offer.
As important as you have to offer remember to also say what you seek.
This is also the perfect place to write any rule or limitations in your meets.
Be fun and inviting and forget the hate.
A typical mistake is writing hate in caps lock (example: READ THE F*** PROFILE BEFORE MESSAGING ME YOU TIME WASTERS!!!) instead of that be fun and creative adding some way to make sure that when someone message you if they did read or not. ( Example: "Remember to tell me your favorite condom taste if you message me" or like we do have "if you read our profile please write **** as subject")
Disclaimers:
Disclaimers on your profile are totally useless and aren't more than a chain copy/paste spam that is been going around fabswingers.
Sydney university is not stealing pictures from this site. Stealing or copying others pics is covered by the site terms, and No amount of "legal twaddle" will stop idiots from downloading your pictures and post them elsewhere. if someone stole and posted your picture elsewhere or on fabswingers you should report them to the admin. Also remember that once a picture spreads on Internet you will never stop it, so remember if you post a public picture you must be ready for the whole world to see it. Keep your pictures private/friends only if you're worried about privacy.
(admin post about it @ http://www.fabswingers.com/forum/support/32802 )
Interests:
Tick the sexual interests that you have, once again you should be as honest and you can and don't just click them all, this is another case that clicking all wont make you more compatible with others.
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PHOTOS
Getting photo verified:
This is a important step specially for new members towards proving that the profile belongs to a female/male/couple.
Some people block who isn't verified so this is one of the few Win/Win things that you can do if you have the spare 5 minutes it takes.
What pictures to Upload:
Generally people should have 1 of each from the following: Clear head shot picture, full body picture, 18+ pic.
This is probably the most important factor on your profile attractiveness.
Remember to be sexy and creative and upload 1 bit of everything. here's some ideas: Face pic, body pic, your favorite tattoo pic, piercing pic, your last meet pic, socializing pic(make sure you blur out anyone that isn't on your profile), your sexy bits pic, maybe a artistic pic of your body shadow on a wall? be creative .
Private/friends/public?
I recommend to upload everything to private first, then you should set what do you want to use as intimate or public. most people like to show a body and a vagina/cock pic and maybe a full body with blurred face to give an idea of what they look like without revealing their identity, others prefer to show a clear face picture(remember that anyone you know might recognize you) and keep the sexy ones as private but basically most people don't show both face and body.
A common mistake on pictures is the lack of information present of most profiles public pictures, as for examples: Couples that have no male present on any public pictures, males that have 4 cock pictures as public pictures and nothing else.
Keep as private the ones you don't want neither public or friends so see ( some members that have high amount of friends prefer to keep the face pictures as private).
Message filters:
Remember to save yours and everyone else's time you should set filters to what you aren't looking forward to meet.
Single men: This will block any single male from contacting you , but remember you can still message them and if you do they will be able to message back to you. Anyone you message will be unlocked of any filters you set.
Newbies: You should set this filter if you're looking for the more experienced/verified members of the site, this might be also a good way to block spammers/fakes that make profiles to picture hunting etc. Remember that by setting this you might miss out that new real sexy member that could be trying to messaging you.
Public photos on profile: this will block anyone that doesn't have public photos. Remember that it will also block members that choose to have all their pictures as private/friends if they want to keep their privacy to a maximum.
Not verified: Probably the strongest (yet not ultimate) time wasters filter, setting this on will have the same downsides as the "newbies" one.
Site Supported: Another way to block possible time wasters although there is many serious and experienced swingers that aren't site supporters, also remember that paying 5£ will not mean that you're genuine.
Emails/Notifications:
Remember to set notifications to only what requires a quick response from you. Most people prefer to visit the site daily and check everything with time, others like to answer they're messages as soon as possible so remember to tune it to your needs.
Privacy:
Looked at me: This option can bring extra attention to your profile but also can bring the wrong one, for example most people you see and don't message/wink is because they aren't really what you're looking for, showing yourself in their "looked at me" list will get them to see your and possibly message you to just find out that you aren't interested.
Search engines:
Beware this is search engines such as google, not fabswingers browsing. Most search engines will cache sites for 1-2 months, so remember even if you delete/edit your profile it will show how it was 1 month ago on google for example.
Friends list on profile:
This is another privacy option that can be seen in different ways. basically you might not be proud of showing that you're friends with this or that person, or not wanting to be asked about them.
Note that unverified single bi-fems with hidden friends list are in the vast majority "friend invite spammers" to collect private pictures (there's always exceptions..).
.
.
WINKS
The big question, what is a wink? when to use? what does it mean?
There is many views to it, but the 2 main ones i believe that are:
1) Was too lazy to send a message so just winked
2) Has some interest in getting to know more of me and liked my profile and want to know if he/she/them might be compatible with me before sending a message.
Typical way is , if you like and aren't sure if you're what they're looking for, give them a wink, if they are interested to know more from you, they will wink back giving you green light to send them a nice message. Same way applies if you get winked, take a look at them see if you might be compatible and wink back if you do, then wait for a message back
.
.
SENDING A MESSAGE
As important, or even more, than your profile is the way you initiate contact with someone else.
Here is a simple list of what you have to do.
1) Do your homework, Read your "target's" profile with attention before messaging, this saves you from looking like an idiot/spammer while asking whats already stated on profile.
2) tell a bit about yourself and what are your interests towards the person/couple you're contacting
3) Make sure you point out things that you think you're compatible to (example: "i see that you like to meet for a drink before jumping bed just like i do")
4) Read their profile carefully even if they messaged you first, again, you don't to be asking something that it's already there
.
.
DON'T DO THE FOLLOWING:
1) Re-message asking for a answer:
This is seen as being pushy and can get you to lose potential meets, remember some of us like to read and answer later or also have to show it to our partner before doing it.
If you don't get a answer don't take things personally, most people find it easier to delete than waste 10 messages to explain why they don't like you.
2) NEVER "Copy Paste":
Copy paste messages are obvious, lazy and give the impression that you've just sent that to everyone without reading profiles.
.
.
FRIEND INVITES/FRIENDS LIST
Who to invite:
Some people like to invite who they like to keep in touch, others invite only who they are actually meeting or interest to meet soon. Just be aware that inviting someone is exactly the same as sending all your "friends only" pictures as they can accept, take a look, and remove you. Never invite without notice, most people prefer you to swap some messages first and then you can show the interest of adding them.
Verification:
Verifications are very important and most people like to get themselves verified but remember that there is different types of verifications.
The most reliable verifications are meeting in person and photo verified, but remember that photo verification by the admin just proves if the owner of the account is in fact a male/female/couple.
You shouldn't insist with anyone to verify you, if they did enjoy meeting you they will likely verify you, but some members have a lot of meets and they don't have the time to verify everyone they meet. If you have no verifications at all you can politely ask to verify that you're real if they don't leave it there.
.
VERIFYING SOMEONE ELSE.
When you verify someone else, specially on webcam you should make sure that you're seeing a real person. when they ask you to verify them ask them to do a unusual unique action that isn't unlike to be present on videos ( example: Tell them to thumbs up then thumbs down) this is because there is software that allows you to play videos where your webcam should be (this is against website rules).
.
HOME PAGE:
After you've done your first searches this is the best place to keep up with things, you can check for new meets here, new members that joined, friends updates and new uploaded pictures in your area.
More to come soon.. "book alert! | |||
"The fact that you're ticking every box makes you look "desperate gave up reading having seen that
its a personal point of view, as most males, you skipped what i wrote right from the start "lol...nope I only gave up reading from that point.....saw how long it was & decided that it wasn'r worth reading further, but then that was my poingt of view irrespective if I was male or female | |||
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...can't comment on fakes profiles as haven't come across one yet , but can appreciate that single females must be innundated with messages | |||
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"You forgot a section for forum posts; When replying to a long forum post, don't quote the whole post just the relevant bit
S. " what *he* said | |||
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"Sadly...for the men who are a bit clued up, they will probably think it is patronising. For the men who have no clue, they probably won't read it anyway.  "bingo..... i could have summed it up in three words.. "basic common sense" i hate these types of "guides" for a couple of reasons... although well meaning you may as well have called the thread this: "hey timewasters..... here is the guide for you to evade being caught out!!!" but actually what guides unintentionally do is a couple of thing.... 1) you make it harder for those people who do actually "get it" so to speak... 2) you make it harder for people to work out and distinguish between those actually "get it" and those who are just saying The right things" 3) you tend to find people with generic profiles... using all the buzz words and the right phrases.... oh well so much for some individuality and original thought!! welcome to blandsville............ so in the next thread where someone complains about timewasters..... i'll know which thread to point them in the direction of..... | |||
"zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz......................!!!!" | |||
"Sadly...for the men who are a bit clued up, they will probably think it is patronising. For the men who have no clue, they probably won't read it anyway. "its a shame..but you're right | |||
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"zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz......................!!!!"
"Crikey. Has the sermon ended yet?"
If u genuinely can't be bothered with the effort required to appear even a little bit interesting, then just do what these 2 did and leave the site immediately lol! | |||
" i could have summed it up in three words.. "basic common sense" i hate these types of "guides" for a couple of reasons... although well meaning you may as well have called the thread this: "hey timewasters..... here is the guide for you to evade being caught out!!!" but actually what guides unintentionally do is a couple of thing.... 1) you make it harder for those people who do actually "get it" so to speak... 2) you make it harder for people to work out and distinguish between those actually "get it" and those who are just saying The right things" 3) you tend to find people with generic profiles... using all the buzz words and the right phrases.... oh well so much for some individuality and original thought!! welcome to blandsville............ so in the next thread where someone complains about timewasters..... i'll know which thread to point them in the direction of....." What he said. Profiles should be an honest representation of who you are and what you want. Saying that, we don’t say exactly what we do and don’t want because men (who we will find ourselves if we want one) just like a job application, tailor their messages to fit. There are lots of things that appeal to some that are a complete turn off for us but we are not putting that out there as you don’t want a meet where you know they really want different things, but think, hey, a meet’s a meet. If you can’t write a profile without help then we wouldn’t want to meet you anyway. | |||
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