 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
We've recently started to meet couples and from out of nowhere I have found that I'm really uncomfortable when my husband wants to go into another room to play. Should we think about leaving fab? It's not been an issue before and I'm comfortable with him playing whilst I'm there. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
My personal view is its best to discuss this between yourselves as only you guys can set the boundaries you are both comfortable with. If either of you aren't feeling comfortable, it's best to discuss this between yourselves sooner rather than later xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Just have same room fun!! An awful lot of us stick together and don't play separate!! xx"
That's what I'd like to do but think I may have put him off now x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My personal view is its best to discuss this between yourselves as only you guys can set the boundaries you are both comfortable with. If either of you aren't feeling comfortable, it's best to discuss this between yourselves sooner rather than later xx"
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Hopefully, you agreed beforehand. Cool if you did but if now you feel a bit weird seeing him go then you both need to chat. If you both didn't agree, then it's a lesson learnt and you both need to agree what's best moving forward. There's no point risking your relationship : ) |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"We have discussed it all weekend and I think I may of upset him (and myself for that matter!) "
You aren't happy when he goes to another room with a woman but are happy to discuss this problem separately to him and have found that discussing it upsets you both. You're clearly not together enough emotionally as a couple at the moment and need to work on being able to talk about your boundaries with each other without feeling either is upsetting the other. So yes, I think you should leave or at least take a step back while you sort out a way to communicate effectively. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *GHertsCouple
over a year ago
North Herts |
"We have discussed it all weekend and I think I may of upset him (and myself for that matter!)
You aren't happy when he goes to another room with a woman but are happy to discuss this problem separately to him and have found that discussing it upsets you both. You're clearly not together enough emotionally as a couple at the moment and need to work on being able to talk about your boundaries with each other without feeling either is upsetting the other. So yes, I think you should leave or at least take a step back while you sort out a way to communicate effectively."
Mr G |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
If you aren't both happy doing something then you don't do it.
It is as simple as that.
You don't try and talk the other peeson round to your way of doing things. You don't nag, whine, coerce or put up with it.
One of you says I don't want to.... xx and the other one says OK we won't do it.
The end. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
We do talk and have boundaries but just don't know how you are going to feel unless actually in the situation.
Thanks for everyone's advice. I have learnt is that we must communicate and the rules must always evolve to keep everything fun x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"We do talk and have boundaries but just don't know how you are going to feel unless actually in the situation.
Thanks for everyone's advice. I have learnt is that we must communicate and the rules must always evolve to keep everything fun x"
If it is something you both want to try, then give it a go. If it doesn't work for one of you then it doesn't happen again until you both feel ready. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
If playing in separate rooms upsets either of you then don't do it. Respecting each other's boundaries is vital. It's supposed to be fun, talk it through and resolve the issue xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It's an evolving process. It's not always possible to know what you are unhappy with until you've experienced, so rules have to be adjusted as you go. As long as you don't blame him for something that made you feel uncomfortable. My husband and I had a number of wobbles in the early days as we found out what we were and weren't comfortable with. However rules that were made historically are not necessarily rules that we abide my now, because our comfort levels have increased with time. So you may find separate from swapping is just something you are not ready for now. Stick with what you are both comfortable with at this moment in time. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"It's an evolving process. It's not always possible to know what you are unhappy with until you've experienced, so rules have to be adjusted as you go. As long as you don't blame him for something that made you feel uncomfortable. My husband and I had a number of wobbles in the early days as we found out what we were and weren't comfortable with. However rules that were made historically are not necessarily rules that we abide my now, because our comfort levels have increased with time. So you may find separate from swapping is just something you are not ready for now. Stick with what you are both comfortable with at this moment in time."
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *old200Man
over a year ago
Congleton |
"If you aren't both happy doing something then you don't do it.
It is as simple as that.
You don't try and talk the other peeson round to your way of doing things. You don't nag, whine, coerce or put up with it.
One of you says I don't want to.... xx and the other one says OK we won't do it.
The end."
that simple in afraid |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *yldstyleWoman
over a year ago
A world of my own |
You have to be respectful of each others boundaries and feelings and that starts with communication . And perhaps revaluation of what you both want. Also things evolve over time so the communication needs to be constant. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"If you aren't both happy doing something then you don't do it.
It is as simple as that.
You don't try and talk the other peeson round to your way of doing things. You don't nag, whine, coerce or put up with it.
One of you says I don't want to.... xx and the other one says OK we won't do it.
The end."
This |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
You're relationship comes first; you're swinging relationship comes second. You have to protect your relationship at all times when you are swinging. Keep talking things through and if either party feels uncomfortable, then re-evaluate.
A swinging relationship evolves just like any relationship and what is a no go now, may be great in a few years time, but getting to that point can be bumpy at times.
I would go back to what you are comfortable with (same room) and enjoy all the fun and frolics that can come with that and just see where you go. You may never be comfortable with separate room fun; many aren't
xxx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Hun we did separate room sex and the jealousy overwhelmed us both! But same room sex doesnt, we find same room sex such a turn on watching each other and playing with girl on girl but after finding out the hard way, separate room sex is not for us! So just give it a miss x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We've recently started to meet couples and from out of nowhere I have found that I'm really uncomfortable when my husband wants to go into another room to play. Should we think about leaving fab? It's not been an issue before and I'm comfortable with him playing whilst I'm there."
I was on here with my ex last year and met a brilliant couple and we all had fun together, we met a different couple a few weeks later and the women led my partner into the kitchen to have fun and i admit i freaked out, we had only said we would have same room fun and i was not comfy with this situation especially as i wasnt attracted to the husband and he kept trying to kiss me, we left and my partner was very apologetic .. we split a few weeks later lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I cannot believe this was never discussed before a meet  anything that happens and either of you are not ok with....just say I'm not ok with that. ...doesn't have to be said twice....respect each others wishes and move on. Mrs A x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I cannot believe this was never discussed before a meet anything that happens and either of you are not ok with....just say I'm not ok with that. ...doesn't have to be said twice....respect each others wishes and move on. Mrs A x"
It was discussed just didn't know that's how I would feel x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I cannot believe this was never discussed before a meet anything that happens and either of you are not ok with....just say I'm not ok with that. ...doesn't have to be said twice....respect each others wishes and move on. Mrs A x
It was discussed just didn't know that's how I would feel x"
You should only have to say to him once your not happy and that should have been the end of it...if he's still making an issue out of it he ought to take a long hard look at himself. It's only something that happened in a 3some it's not life ffs. Drop it and move on x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
