FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Cheating issue
Cheating issue
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"So...we established that cheaters are not 'real swingers' yet there is lot of them out there. That will never change. My point is.....there is a lot of people who disapprove this kind of behaviour (I'm one of them) and wouldn't blink twice before telling them off....BUT what about people they are cheating with? People who do realise the other person is in realationship, that their partner doesn't know about their other sex activities? Surely they are guilty too.... Are they more guilty though? Afterall if they haven't said Yes in first place the cheater wouldn't have a chance to do so... But then you don't hear about it that much... It's usually the cheater who gets most of the blame if not all of it "I don't need telling off by anyone. What I do and with whom is my business - nobody else's, same as their business is theirs unless it somehow intersects with mine. I publish clearly on my profile that I am married to give people a choice however - so nobody can say they aren't aware. We all have our reasons for what we do, but they are just that OUR reasons, nobody else's x | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"So...we established that cheaters are not 'real swingers' yet there is lot of them out there. That will never change. My point is.....there is a lot of people who disapprove this kind of behaviour (I'm one of them) and wouldn't blink twice before telling them off....BUT what about people they are cheating with? People who do realise the other person is in realationship, that their partner doesn't know about their other sex activities? Surely they are guilty too.... Are they more guilty though? Afterall if they haven't said Yes in first place the cheater wouldn't have a chance to do so... But then you don't hear about it that much... It's usually the cheater who gets most of the blame if not all of it "Why would you 'tell off' a cheater? Just let people do whatever they do and face their own consequences. And no, I don't believe the third party is more guilty for enabling the cheater. | |||
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"So...we established that cheaters are not 'real swingers' yet there is lot of them out there. That will never change. My point is.....there is a lot of people who disapprove this kind of behaviour (I'm one of them) and wouldn't blink twice before telling them off....BUT what about people they are cheating with? People who do realise the other person is in realationship, that their partner doesn't know about their other sex activities? Surely they are guilty too.... Are they more guilty though? Afterall if they haven't said Yes in first place the cheater wouldn't have a chance to do so... But then you don't hear about it that much... It's usually the cheater who gets most of the blame if not all of it "If you are asking a bunch of swingers a moral based question all i can add is good luck!!   | |||
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"So...we established that cheaters are not 'real swingers' yet there is lot of them out there. That will never change. My point is.....there is a lot of people who disapprove this kind of behaviour (I'm one of them) and wouldn't blink twice before telling them off....BUT what about people they are cheating with? People who do realise the other person is in realationship, that their partner doesn't know about their other sex activities? Surely they are guilty too.... Are they more guilty though? Afterall if they haven't said Yes in first place the cheater wouldn't have a chance to do so... But then you don't hear about it that much... It's usually the cheater who gets most of the blame if not all of it "My FWB was married when we first met, I have been seeing him for 2and a half years. He was in a sexless unhappy marriage. I don't think it's your business OP to judge people in any way. I am not guilty of anything. I don't know why people can't just mind their own business and get on with their own lives. X | |||
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Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"So...we established that cheaters are not 'real swingers' yet there is lot of them out there. That will never change. My point is.....there is a lot of people who disapprove this kind of behaviour (I'm one of them) and wouldn't blink twice before telling them off....BUT what about people they are cheating with? People who do realise the other person is in realationship, that their partner doesn't know about their other sex activities? Surely they are guilty too.... Are they more guilty though? Afterall if they haven't said Yes in first place the cheater wouldn't have a chance to do so... But then you don't hear about it that much... It's usually the cheater who gets most of the blame if not all of it
My FWB was married when we first met, I have been seeing him for 2and a half years. He was in a sexless unhappy marriage. I don't think it's your business OP to judge people in any way. I am not guilty of anything. I don't know why people can't just mind their own business and get on with their own lives. X"If you are in a sexless failing marriage have the bolox to leave gracefully there are no excuses, cheating does ruin lives and families, and for what? A fuck!! Have to agree with the OP adultery is not justifiable in any circumstance, and loyalty cant be governed purely by sex. | |||
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"I'll happily meet a cheater. I don't judge. Someone judges me for that? Their problem. Sit enjoying your judgement, I'm having fun." Have fun, until you become the victim | |||
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Some people will avoid attached people on here.
Some people will be taken in by secretly attached people on here.
Some people prefer attached playmates on here.
Some people really couldn't give a shite, and take life as it comes.
This is a swingers site - not Relate.
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"People only cheat if they are unhappy in a relashionship or there is no sex ,every body has needs " I agree
And to say to leave a marriage which could involve children is in my opinion, a very naive thing to say. | |||
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"People only cheat if they are unhappy in a relashionship or there is no sex ,every body has needs I agree
And to say to leave a marriage which could involve children is in my opinion, a very naive thing to say." agree with the above views | |||
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"People only cheat if they are unhappy in a relashionship or there is no sex ,every body has needs I agree
And to say to leave a marriage which could involve children is in my opinion, a very naive thing to say."not really... if it comes out at any point it could turn it into a much worse situation for any kids involved | |||
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"they are both as bad as eachother if they both know whats going on but its a personal choice and how you see the world and the way it works for me i say if you feel like you need to cheat ditch the person you are with before you do it. shows you give a slight fuck about people and their feelings and if you dont give a fuck why you even with someone you feel nothing for" You make massive judgements with your statements that are very wrong. Why should someone not give a fuck about another because they want to be sexually fulfilled? Why should they break up a family home that could indeed be very loving for something as futile as sex? Sex is so enjoyment. It's like going to the pub. I do it cause I enjoy it. I wouldn't break up a family cause I like watching a film at the cinema - same kinda difference | |||
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"I don't get involved. Carrying on the christian theme from pamela, judge not, lest ye be judged." But surely good Christians should be against swinging too!?  | |||
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"Only one can judge us and they cruisified him ." | |||
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"Its their choice. This site is becoming so negative everyone moaning about somthing. If you dont like playing with attached people then dont. Some people will disapprove of you being on a swingers site does that give them the right to 'tell you off"" Yup | |||
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"People only cheat if they are unhappy in a relashionship or there is no sex ,every body has needs I agree
And to say to leave a marriage which could involve children is in my opinion, a very naive thing to say."To remain in a failing marriage for the sake of children is a cruel act, and if you are basing your justification on the children as ammo not to break uo a home, then why not think about your children before fucking someone outside of your relationship, as for needs, you need oxygen, food, water.. you dont need sex, what an immature attitude  | |||
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"People only cheat if they are unhappy in a relashionship or there is no sex ,every body has needs I agree
And to say to leave a marriage which could involve children is in my opinion, a very naive thing to say.
not really...
if it comes out at any point it could turn it into a much worse situation for any kids involved " | |||
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"I don't get involved. Carrying on the christian theme from pamela, judge not, lest ye be judged. But surely good Christians should be against swinging too!? "Seeing as its usually people taking christian wedding vows who are, by definition, cheating, they're the ones at it the most!
The remark I made was to point out that we have all cheated to some extent. Maybe not in the marriage sense, but very few people are perfect. | |||
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"they are both as bad as eachother if they both know whats going on but its a personal choice and how you see the world and the way it works for me i say if you feel like you need to cheat ditch the person you are with before you do it. shows you give a slight fuck about people and their feelings and if you dont give a fuck why you even with someone you feel nothing for You make massive judgements with your statements that are very wrong. Why should someone not give a fuck about another because they want to be sexually fulfilled? Why should they break up a family home that could indeed be very loving for something as futile as sex? Sex is so enjoyment. It's like going to the pub. I do it cause I enjoy it. I wouldn't break up a family cause I like watching a film at the cinema - same kinda difference " im talking going behind someones back and the person thats being cheated on. im not looking at it from the cheaters perspective because im not a cheater 
whats gonna be more damaging to kids? mum and dad divorcing because they dont love eachother anymore or mum or dad divorcing because they slept with the sloot 2 doors down? | |||
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"But when you look at bigger picture...'heat of the moment' action could actually ruin someone's life. Pernamently. Would person, who agreed to 'help' a cheater, would feel guilty? Even a little bit? Or that wouldn't be their business? " Wouldn't give a monkeys......their decision, their consequences. Simple! | |||
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"Fact is. A LOT of people here are cheating without their partners knowledge. Some admit it, some don't. Some pretend to be single. Just fuck who you're attracted to without being detective or judge. What their circumstances are is their business. " I can't do that it's incredibly important for my own wellbeing to not fuck a married man who's cheating. Should I be in here?! Probably not... | |||
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"I don't meet married men, my choice. I don't feel the need to tell them off but if that's the reason I won't meet them I tell them. I was told yesterday I was "sexist" for that decision, I can't wait to hear the reasoning behind that. My problem is the men who lie about their relationship status and don't give me the right to decide. " Agreed, we have had girls contact for meets, we chat and arrange a social only to be told they have a partner but they are not happy so want to explore, regardless of how hot they are or how fun it could be i always send them packing, and this is Mr the red blooded highly sexed man who has needs!!  | |||
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"Fact is. A LOT of people here are cheating without their partners knowledge. Some admit it, some don't. Some pretend to be single. Just fuck who you're attracted to without being detective or judge. What their circumstances are is their business. I can't do that it's incredibly important for my own wellbeing to not fuck a married man who's cheating. Should I be in here?! Probably not..." Course you should be in here. Like I say, fuck who you want. If that means not fucking cheats then that's your own decision and nobody has the right to judge you either  | |||
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"People only cheat if they are unhappy in a relashionship or there is no sex ,every body has needs I agree
And to say to leave a marriage which could involve children is in my opinion, a very naive thing to say.
To remain in a failing marriage for the sake of children is a cruel act, and if you are basing your justification on the children as ammo not to break uo a home, then why not think about your children before fucking someone outside of your relationship, as for needs, you need oxygen, food, water.. you dont need sex, what an immature attitude "What a very black & white attitude. There are numerous reasons why someone looks to outside their marriage / relationship for sex, it's been happening since the word began. If you cheat or meet someone who is then in a mature adult way you will accept there could be consequences for both of you. | |||
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"I used to meet married men without batting an eye, with the attitude many here have expressed, that it's their problem when it goes tits up, unfortunately it was mine also as his wife and her family made life a living hell! Because it's always the dastardly other woman's fault you know So I now won't knowingly meet married men and I'm very disappointed in myself for ever doing so. All actions have consequences " See that's the thing I don't understand,if a wife and her children turned up on my doorstep after I'd slept with her husband I would be mortified and ashamed. I don't understand how people can switch of to that. | |||
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"So...we established that cheaters are not 'real swingers' yet there is lot of them out there. That will never change. My point is.....there is a lot of people who disapprove this kind of behaviour (I'm one of them) and wouldn't blink twice before telling them off....BUT what about people they are cheating with? People who do realise the other person is in realationship, that their partner doesn't know about their other sex activities? Surely they are guilty too.... Are they more guilty though? Afterall if they haven't said Yes in first place the cheater wouldn't have a chance to do so... But then you don't hear about it that much... It's usually the cheater who gets most of the blame if not all of it
Why would you 'tell off' a cheater? Just let people do whatever they do and face their own consequences.
And no, I don't believe the third party is more guilty for enabling the cheater. "
Sense. | |||
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"I don't get involved. Carrying on the christian theme from pamela, judge not, lest ye be judged. But surely good Christians should be against swinging too!?
Seeing as its usually people taking christian wedding vows who are, by definition, cheating, they're the ones at it the most!
The remark I made was to point out that we have all cheated to some extent. Maybe not in the marriage sense, but very few people are perfect."I'm not arguing with you - I agree!! | |||
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"People only cheat if they are unhappy in a relashionship or there is no sex ,every body has needs I agree
And to say to leave a marriage which could involve children is in my opinion, a very naive thing to say.
To remain in a failing marriage for the sake of children is a cruel act, and if you are basing your justification on the children as ammo not to break uo a home, then why not think about your children before fucking someone outside of your relationship, as for needs, you need oxygen, food, water.. you dont need sex, what an immature attitude
What a very black & white attitude.
There are numerous reasons why someone looks to outside their marriage / relationship for sex, it's been happening since the word began.
If you cheat or meet someone who is then in a mature adult way you will accept there could be consequences for both of you.
"hear hear! | |||
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"And what bout people who are married or have a partner at home and for whateva reason doesnt want sex anymore or rarely then what? Does the rejected person have to put up with it? I think not !" . | |||
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"they are both as bad as eachother if they both know whats going on but its a personal choice and how you see the world and the way it works for me i say if you feel like you need to cheat ditch the person you are with before you do it. shows you give a slight fuck about people and their feelings and if you dont give a fuck why you even with someone you feel nothing for You make massive judgements with your statements that are very wrong. Why should someone not give a fuck about another because they want to be sexually fulfilled? Why should they break up a family home that could indeed be very loving for something as futile as sex? Sex is so enjoyment. It's like going to the pub. I do it cause I enjoy it. I wouldn't break up a family cause I like watching a film at the cinema - same kinda difference im talking going behind someones back and the person thats being cheated on. im not looking at it from the cheaters perspective because im not a cheater
whats gonna be more damaging to kids? mum and dad divorcing because they dont love eachother anymore or mum or dad divorcing because they slept with the sloot 2 doors down? "Sloot? You are on the wrong site mate as logically anyone 'putting it out' is just that? | |||
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You should run your sex life how you want and let others do the same rather than judging and pointing fingers after all everything we do would be frowned on by someone else taking the moral high ground  | |||
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"I used to meet married men without batting an eye, with the attitude many here have expressed, that it's their problem when it goes tits up, unfortunately it was mine also as his wife and her family made life a living hell! Because it's always the dastardly other woman's fault you know So I now won't knowingly meet married men and I'm very disappointed in myself for ever doing so. All actions have consequences See that's the thing I don't understand,if a wife and her children turned up on my doorstep after I'd slept with her husband I would be mortified and ashamed. I don't understand how people can switch of to that." Many can, because they choose not to consider the what if scenarios I mea. Just look at how many have chose to acknowledge my comment, so far it's just you | |||
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"So...we established that cheaters are not 'real swingers' yet there is lot of them out there. That will never change. My point is.....there is a lot of people who disapprove this kind of behaviour (I'm one of them) and wouldn't blink twice before telling them off....BUT what about people they are cheating with? People who do realise the other person is in realationship, that their partner doesn't know about their other sex activities? Surely they are guilty too.... Are they more guilty though? Afterall if they haven't said Yes in first place the cheater wouldn't have a chance to do so... But then you don't hear about it that much... It's usually the cheater who gets most of the blame if not all of it
I don't need telling off by anyone. What I do and with whom is my business - nobody else's, same as their business is theirs unless it somehow intersects with mine.
I publish clearly on my profile that I am married to give people a choice however - so nobody can say they aren't aware.
We all have our reasons for what we do, but they are just that OUR reasons, nobody else's x"I totally get what you are saying here. Many, many reasons why married men AND women join this site for sexual pleasure. We are all here for our own individual journeys and what others choose to do is their business. We are not the moral police here just people who have realised that swinging is a pleasurable way of life for us | |||
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"I had two horrible marriages. My first husband was an alcoholic and drank all through the 7 years i tolerated it and i had a young daughter at the time. I cheated at the very end of the marriage and yet i got told off by a so called friend that it was wrong to do that and yet quite acceptable to tolerate a d*unk who cheated on me. My second husband cheated on me with men . I didnt cheat on him but now i wish i had." I was in a physically abusive marriage for 15 years finally grew a pair of balls and left. But never cheated I'm making up for it now though  | |||
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"If you asked the general public I bet most would say swinging is morally wrong.....if you ask a load of swingers a lot would say cheating is morally wrong
You should run your sex life how you want and let others do the same rather than judging and pointing fingers after all everything we do would be frowned on by someone else taking the moral high ground "Well said | |||
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"I don't meet married men, my choice. I don't feel the need to tell them off but if that's the reason I won't meet them I tell them. I was told yesterday I was "sexist" for that decision, I can't wait to hear the reasoning behind that. My problem is the men who lie about their relationship status and don't give me the right to decide. " | |||
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"So...we established that cheaters are not 'real swingers' yet there is lot of them out there. That will never change. My point is.....there is a lot of people who disapprove this kind of behaviour (I'm one of them) and wouldn't blink twice before telling them off....BUT what about people they are cheating with? People who do realise the other person is in realationship, that their partner doesn't know about their other sex activities? Surely they are guilty too.... Are they more guilty though? Afterall if they haven't said Yes in first place the cheater wouldn't have a chance to do so... But then you don't hear about it that much... It's usually the cheater who gets most of the blame if not all of it
I don't need telling off by anyone. What I do and with whom is my business - nobody else's, same as their business is theirs unless it somehow intersects with mine.
I publish clearly on my profile that I am married to give people a choice however - so nobody can say they aren't aware.
We all have our reasons for what we do, but they are just that OUR reasons, nobody else's x"Absolutely. Nobody should judge.. especially on a site like this. And also the fact that there is one hell of an imbalance in that married men on here without the spouses knowledge get vilified, whilst married women doing the same - for the most part, slip conveniently right under the radar. | |||
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"I used to meet married men without batting an eye, with the attitude many here have expressed, that it's their problem when it goes tits up, unfortunately it was mine also as his wife and her family made life a living hell! Because it's always the dastardly other woman's fault you know So I now won't knowingly meet married men and I'm very disappointed in myself for ever doing so. All actions have consequences See that's the thing I don't understand,if a wife and her children turned up on my doorstep after I'd slept with her husband I would be mortified and ashamed. I don't understand how people can switch of to that. Many can, because they choose not to consider the what if scenarios I mea. Just look at how many have chose to acknowledge my comment, so far it's just you " Yeah I suppose,it's just seems crazy when people say it's their business nothing to do with me it's not my marriage. Next minute they're being cited in divorce proceedings if their lucky they don't have the guy's wife wanting to rip their head off on their doorstep. Anyway it's their choice. | |||
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"I used to meet married men without batting an eye, with the attitude many here have expressed, that it's their problem when it goes tits up, unfortunately it was mine also as his wife and her family made life a living hell! Because it's always the dastardly other woman's fault you know So I now won't knowingly meet married men and I'm very disappointed in myself for ever doing so. All actions have consequences See that's the thing I don't understand,if a wife and her children turned up on my doorstep after I'd slept with her husband I would be mortified and ashamed. I don't understand how people can switch of to that. Many can, because they choose not to consider the what if scenarios I mea. Just look at how many have chose to acknowledge my comment, so far it's just you Yeah I suppose,it's just seems crazy when people say it's their business nothing to do with me it's not my marriage. Next minute they're being cited in divorce proceedings if their lucky they don't have the guy's wife wanting to rip their head off on their doorstep. Anyway it's their choice. " I would think most women/men who turn up would be thanking you and telling you your welcome to them lol. | |||
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"I used to meet married men without batting an eye, with the attitude many here have expressed, that it's their problem when it goes tits up, unfortunately it was mine also as his wife and her family made life a living hell! Because it's always the dastardly other woman's fault you know So I now won't knowingly meet married men and I'm very disappointed in myself for ever doing so. All actions have consequences See that's the thing I don't understand,if a wife and her children turned up on my doorstep after I'd slept with her husband I would be mortified and ashamed. I don't understand how people can switch of to that. Many can, because they choose not to consider the what if scenarios I mea. Just look at how many have chose to acknowledge my comment, so far it's just you Yeah I suppose,it's just seems crazy when people say it's their business nothing to do with me it's not my marriage. Next minute they're being cited in divorce proceedings if their lucky they don't have the guy's wife wanting to rip their head off on their doorstep. Anyway it's their choice. " I certainly learnt my lesson the hard way. The fact she made my life hell for it wasn't the issue for me, it was knowing that is caused her so much pain, she was just acting out on it the only way she knew how to. That was all 5 years ago on an old profile (one I deleted because what happened put me off meeting for a while) and I still feel awful about it to this day. Married people cheating on here can do what they want, I won't judge them, I just won't meet them anymore. Is it wrong of me to take a what many would deem a moral stance as an immoral swinger? Perhaps, but as married people have their reasons to try and meet, I have my reason not to meet Them. I do find it funny how the reasons of the ones choosing not to meet married people, are seemingly just labelled the moral police that never have the right to have their opinion respected, just because they swing | |||
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"I used to meet married men without batting an eye, with the attitude many here have expressed, that it's their problem when it goes tits up, unfortunately it was mine also as his wife and her family made life a living hell! Because it's always the dastardly other woman's fault you know So I now won't knowingly meet married men and I'm very disappointed in myself for ever doing so. All actions have consequences See that's the thing I don't understand,if a wife and her children turned up on my doorstep after I'd slept with her husband I would be mortified and ashamed. I don't understand how people can switch of to that. Many can, because they choose not to consider the what if scenarios I mea. Just look at how many have chose to acknowledge my comment, so far it's just you Yeah I suppose,it's just seems crazy when people say it's their business nothing to do with me it's not my marriage. Next minute they're being cited in divorce proceedings if their lucky they don't have the guy's wife wanting to rip their head off on their doorstep. Anyway it's their choice. " It's very rare for a Co-respondent to be named in divorce proceedings. | |||
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"I used to meet married men without batting an eye, with the attitude many here have expressed, that it's their problem when it goes tits up, unfortunately it was mine also as his wife and her family made life a living hell! Because it's always the dastardly other woman's fault you know So I now won't knowingly meet married men and I'm very disappointed in myself for ever doing so. All actions have consequences See that's the thing I don't understand,if a wife and her children turned up on my doorstep after I'd slept with her husband I would be mortified and ashamed. I don't understand how people can switch of to that. Many can, because they choose not to consider the what if scenarios I mea. Just look at how many have chose to acknowledge my comment, so far it's just you Yeah I suppose,it's just seems crazy when people say it's their business nothing to do with me it's not my marriage. Next minute they're being cited in divorce proceedings if their lucky they don't have the guy's wife wanting to rip their head off on their doorstep. Anyway it's their choice. I certainly learnt my lesson the hard way. The fact she made my life hell for it wasn't the issue for me, it was knowing that is caused her so much pain, she was just acting out on it the only way she knew how to. That was all 5 years ago on an old profile (one I deleted because what happened put me off meeting for a while) and I still feel awful about it to this day. Married people cheating on here can do what they want, I won't judge them, I just won't meet them anymore. Is it wrong of me to take a what many would deem a moral stance as an immoral swinger? Perhaps, but as married people have their reasons to try and meet, I have my reason not to meet Them. I do find it funny how the reasons of the ones choosing not to meet married people, are seemingly just labelled the moral police that never have the right to have their opinion respected, just because they swing" Your opinion is respected, as are others too. My comment was although maybe unclear, directed at married people, attached people and single people. We are all here for our own reasons whatever our relationship status and it is our business what we choose to do or not to do and should not be questioned for our actions by others | |||
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"I used to meet married men without batting an eye, with the attitude many here have expressed, that it's their problem when it goes tits up, unfortunately it was mine also as his wife and her family made life a living hell! Because it's always the dastardly other woman's fault you know So I now won't knowingly meet married men and I'm very disappointed in myself for ever doing so. All actions have consequences See that's the thing I don't understand,if a wife and her children turned up on my doorstep after I'd slept with her husband I would be mortified and ashamed. I don't understand how people can switch of to that. Many can, because they choose not to consider the what if scenarios I mea. Just look at how many have chose to acknowledge my comment, so far it's just you Yeah I suppose,it's just seems crazy when people say it's their business nothing to do with me it's not my marriage. Next minute they're being cited in divorce proceedings if their lucky they don't have the guy's wife wanting to rip their head off on their doorstep. Anyway it's their choice. I certainly learnt my lesson the hard way. The fact she made my life hell for it wasn't the issue for me, it was knowing that is caused her so much pain, she was just acting out on it the only way she knew how to. That was all 5 years ago on an old profile (one I deleted because what happened put me off meeting for a while) and I still feel awful about it to this day. Married people cheating on here can do what they want, I won't judge them, I just won't meet them anymore. Is it wrong of me to take a what many would deem a moral stance as an immoral swinger? Perhaps, but as married people have their reasons to try and meet, I have my reason not to meet Them. I do find it funny how the reasons of the ones choosing not to meet married people, are seemingly just labelled the moral police that never have the right to have their opinion respected, just because they swing Your opinion is respected, as are others too. My comment was although maybe unclear, directed at married people, attached people and single people. We are all here for our own reasons whatever our relationship status and it is our business what we choose to do or not to do and should not be questioned for our actions by others "That's true but it's human nature to judge, we all do it on some level, it happens everyday on fab itself as let's face it everytime someone messages you or you read a profile and you choose not to meet them you've made a judgement of them based on the information available to you | |||
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"So...we established that cheaters are not 'real swingers' yet there is lot of them out there. That will never change. My point is.....there is a lot of people who disapprove this kind of behaviour (I'm one of them) and wouldn't blink twice before telling them off....BUT what about people they are cheating with? People who do realise the other person is in realationship, that their partner doesn't know about their other sex activities? Surely they are guilty too.... Are they more guilty though? Afterall if they haven't said Yes in first place the cheater wouldn't have a chance to do so... But then you don't hear about it that much... It's usually the cheater who gets most of the blame if not all of it
Why would you 'tell off' a cheater? Just let people do whatever they do and face their own consequences.
And no, I don't believe the third party is more guilty for enabling the cheater. "If a man isn't fed at home then he'll eat out.....that goes for women too btw. Before giving out about cheaters and their enablers perhaps you should wonder why they feel the need to cheat in the first place? | |||
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"I used to meet married men without batting an eye, with the attitude many here have expressed, that it's their problem when it goes tits up, unfortunately it was mine also as his wife and her family made life a living hell! Because it's always the dastardly other woman's fault you know So I now won't knowingly meet married men and I'm very disappointed in myself for ever doing so. All actions have consequences See that's the thing I don't understand,if a wife and her children turned up on my doorstep after I'd slept with her husband I would be mortified and ashamed. I don't understand how people can switch of to that. Many can, because they choose not to consider the what if scenarios I mea. Just look at how many have chose to acknowledge my comment, so far it's just you Yeah I suppose,it's just seems crazy when people say it's their business nothing to do with me it's not my marriage. Next minute they're being cited in divorce proceedings if their lucky they don't have the guy's wife wanting to rip their head off on their doorstep. Anyway it's their choice. It's very rare for a Co-respondent to be named in divorce proceedings. " I don't know,I chose not too for various reasons. | |||
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"A lot of couples on here...not all prefer attached ppl. Less chance of them fucking off with there other half then "That's not always the case neither you meet someone regular enough there's always a chance of feelings developing, these things do sometimes catch you off guard, I know of one former fab couple that aren't a couple anymore for that reason, I still met the female half Occassionally | |||
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"I used to meet married men without batting an eye, with the attitude many here have expressed, that it's their problem when it goes tits up, unfortunately it was mine also as his wife and her family made life a living hell! Because it's always the dastardly other woman's fault you know So I now won't knowingly meet married men and I'm very disappointed in myself for ever doing so. All actions have consequences See that's the thing I don't understand,if a wife and her children turned up on my doorstep after I'd slept with her husband I would be mortified and ashamed. I don't understand how people can switch of to that. Many can, because they choose not to consider the what if scenarios I mea. Just look at how many have chose to acknowledge my comment, so far it's just you Yeah I suppose,it's just seems crazy when people say it's their business nothing to do with me it's not my marriage. Next minute they're being cited in divorce proceedings if their lucky they don't have the guy's wife wanting to rip their head off on their doorstep. Anyway it's their choice. I certainly learnt my lesson the hard way. The fact she made my life hell for it wasn't the issue for me, it was knowing that is caused her so much pain, she was just acting out on it the only way she knew how to. That was all 5 years ago on an old profile (one I deleted because what happened put me off meeting for a while) and I still feel awful about it to this day. Married people cheating on here can do what they want, I won't judge them, I just won't meet them anymore. Is it wrong of me to take a what many would deem a moral stance as an immoral swinger? Perhaps, but as married people have their reasons to try and meet, I have my reason not to meet Them. I do find it funny how the reasons of the ones choosing not to meet married people, are seemingly just labelled the moral police that never have the right to have their opinion respected, just because they swing" Yes that used to piss me off somewhat,suppose it makes someone feel better putting down those that choose not to meet a cheater by calling them the moral police | |||
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"I had two horrible marriages. My first husband was an alcoholic and drank all through the 7 years i tolerated it and i had a young daughter at the time. I cheated at the very end of the marriage and yet i got told off by a so called friend that it was wrong to do that and yet quite acceptable to tolerate a d*unk who cheated on me. My second husband cheated on me with men . I didnt cheat on him but now i wish i had. I was in a physically abusive marriage for 15 years finally grew a pair of balls and left. But never cheated I'm making up for it now though "great me too x | |||
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"A lot of couples on here...not all prefer attached ppl. Less chance of them fucking off with there other half then
That's not always the case neither you meet someone regular enough there's always a chance of feelings developing, these things do sometimes catch you off guard, I know of one former fab couple that aren't a couple anymore for that reason, I still met the female half Occassionally "If there staying at home for the kids etc and getting sex else where do you really think they would leave for a fuck | |||
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"A lot of couples on here...not all prefer attached ppl. Less chance of them fucking off with there other half then
That's not always the case neither you meet someone regular enough there's always a chance of feelings developing, these things do sometimes catch you off guard, I know of one former fab couple that aren't a couple anymore for that reason, I still met the female half Occassionally
If there staying at home for the kids etc and getting sex else where do you really think they would leave for a fuck "You didn't raise that issue till now I responded to your first statement and I don't doubt some would leave a sexless marriage for a relationship with a plentiful sexlife, if it would make them happy, regardless of children involved or not. Some couples are better parents separated staying together for the kids sake isn't always the best option, it can cause underlying bitterness and the kids do pick up on that, I did with my parents that did just that | |||
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"'Wrong-doing' is a bit like a plate glass window - you can shoot a hole in it with a rifle or drive a truck through it, it amounts to the same - it's either perfect or broken - if it's broke, it's broke, it's irrelevant how much. So no, the person who meets the cheater is not doing more wrong, but they are clearly also at fault. I can say cheating is morally wrong without having suffered it myself or having to judge the person who cheats - that is not my job. It's very easy to vilify someone else while conveniently forgetting our own broken glass and then we just shoot another hole in the window by being a hypocrite. I see a lot of that on here. To continue the biblical theme - take the plank out of your own eye before worrying about the speck in your brothers'! "
Lots of planks about...We could build a bridge and makeup | |||
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"A lot of couples on here...not all prefer attached ppl. Less chance of them fucking off with there other half then
That's not always the case neither you meet someone regular enough there's always a chance of feelings developing, these things do sometimes catch you off guard, I know of one former fab couple that aren't a couple anymore for that reason, I still met the female half Occassionally
If there staying at home for the kids etc and getting sex else where do you really think they would leave for a fuck
You didn't raise that issue till now I responded to your first statement and I don't doubt some would leave a sexless marriage for a relationship with a plentiful sexlife, if it would make them happy, regardless of children involved or not. Some couples are better parents separated staying together for the kids sake isn't always the best option, it can cause underlying bitterness and the kids do pick up on that, I did with my parents that did just that"A fuck is a fuck at the end of the day! Fab and ppls private life are to seperate lifes. Unless your life is just about swinging. Some ppl can switch off feelings like a light switch. And if it works for them then good luck to them | |||
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"'Wrong-doing' is a bit like a plate glass window - you can shoot a hole in it with a rifle or drive a truck through it, it amounts to the same - it's either perfect or broken - if it's broke, it's broke, it's irrelevant how much. So no, the person who meets the cheater is not doing more wrong, but they are clearly also at fault. I can say cheating is morally wrong without having suffered it myself or having to judge the person who cheats - that is not my job. It's very easy to vilify someone else while conveniently forgetting our own broken glass and then we just shoot another hole in the window by being a hypocrite. I see a lot of that on here. To continue the biblical theme - take the plank out of your own eye before worrying about the speck in your brothers'!
Lots of planks about...We could build a bridge and makeup "Or build one and make out! | |||
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"A lot of couples on here...not all prefer attached ppl. Less chance of them fucking off with there other half then
That's not always the case neither you meet someone regular enough there's always a chance of feelings developing, these things do sometimes catch you off guard, I know of one former fab couple that aren't a couple anymore for that reason, I still met the female half Occassionally
If there staying at home for the kids etc and getting sex else where do you really think they would leave for a fuck
You didn't raise that issue till now I responded to your first statement and I don't doubt some would leave a sexless marriage for a relationship with a plentiful sexlife, if it would make them happy, regardless of children involved or not. Some couples are better parents separated staying together for the kids sake isn't always the best option, it can cause underlying bitterness and the kids do pick up on that, I did with my parents that did just that
A fuck is a fuck at the end of the day! Fab and ppls private life are to seperate lifes. Unless your life is just about swinging. Some ppl can switch off feelings like a light switch. And if it works for them then good luck to them "Yes they can and my side of the argument was that some people can't and some think they can then their feelings catch them off guard. To quote a popular saying sometimes shit happens | |||
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"A lot of couples on here...not all prefer attached ppl. Less chance of them fucking off with there other half then
That's not always the case neither you meet someone regular enough there's always a chance of feelings developing, these things do sometimes catch you off guard, I know of one former fab couple that aren't a couple anymore for that reason, I still met the female half Occassionally
If there staying at home for the kids etc and getting sex else where do you really think they would leave for a fuck
You didn't raise that issue till now I responded to your first statement and I don't doubt some would leave a sexless marriage for a relationship with a plentiful sexlife, if it would make them happy, regardless of children involved or not. Some couples are better parents separated staying together for the kids sake isn't always the best option, it can cause underlying bitterness and the kids do pick up on that, I did with my parents that did just that
A fuck is a fuck at the end of the day! Fab and ppls private life are to seperate lifes. Unless your life is just about swinging. Some ppl can switch off feelings like a light switch. And if it works for them then good luck to them
Yes they can and my side of the argument was that some people can't and some think they can then their feelings catch them off guard. To quote a popular saying sometimes shit happens "Its not a argument. Its a 1st for me to have someone being adult about my comments and not turning it around or trying to put me down | |||
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"'Wrong-doing' is a bit like a plate glass window - you can shoot a hole in it with a rifle or drive a truck through it, it amounts to the same - it's either perfect or broken - if it's broke, it's broke, it's irrelevant how much. So no, the person who meets the cheater is not doing more wrong, but they are clearly also at fault. I can say cheating is morally wrong without having suffered it myself or having to judge the person who cheats - that is not my job. It's very easy to vilify someone else while conveniently forgetting our own broken glass and then we just shoot another hole in the window by being a hypocrite. I see a lot of that on here. To continue the biblical theme - take the plank out of your own eye before worrying about the speck in your brothers'!
Lots of planks about...We could build a bridge and makeup
Or build one and make out! "Same thing on here  | |||
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"A lot of couples on here...not all prefer attached ppl. Less chance of them fucking off with there other half then
That's not always the case neither you meet someone regular enough there's always a chance of feelings developing, these things do sometimes catch you off guard, I know of one former fab couple that aren't a couple anymore for that reason, I still met the female half Occassionally
If there staying at home for the kids etc and getting sex else where do you really think they would leave for a fuck
You didn't raise that issue till now I responded to your first statement and I don't doubt some would leave a sexless marriage for a relationship with a plentiful sexlife, if it would make them happy, regardless of children involved or not. Some couples are better parents separated staying together for the kids sake isn't always the best option, it can cause underlying bitterness and the kids do pick up on that, I did with my parents that did just that
A fuck is a fuck at the end of the day! Fab and ppls private life are to seperate lifes. Unless your life is just about swinging. Some ppl can switch off feelings like a light switch. And if it works for them then good luck to them
Yes they can and my side of the argument was that some people can't and some think they can then their feelings catch them off guard. To quote a popular saying sometimes shit happens
Its not a argument. Its a 1st for me to have someone being adult about my comments and not turning it around or trying to put me down "In hindsight I perhaps should have used the word debate instead of argument. | |||
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"I don't like to see anyone get hurt. So in the interests of health and safety please go careful and take extra care when disembarking that high horse .. " You see that's the thing Dan,why is it seen as someone being on their 'high horse' or being the 'moral police' when they don't meet those that cheat? I am hopefully neither,yes I have my opinion's most of which I keep to myself as I don't know peoples circumstances,but we alway's hear the same thing's don't we! | |||
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"Most of the married men i meet are not there because they simply want sex, they actually mainly want to be wanted by a woman. They also equally want to give pleasure and feel the emotional reward for giving it. Where, for various reasons, a partner refuses or does not enjoy sex, NSA "cheating" can provide a much needed relief valve. It is not for me to judge them and i do not call them cheaters. I am saddened when hard liners judge others before they have "walked a mile in their shoes." " Clearly you do indeed judge. You assume the ones that don't meet cheaters don't understand the plight of a sexless marriage some do | |||
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"People only cheat if they are unhappy in a relashionship or there is no sex ,every body has needs I agree
And to say to leave a marriage which could involve children is in my opinion, a very naive thing to say."Totally agree X | |||
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"I don't like to see anyone get hurt. So in the interests of health and safety please go careful and take extra care when disembarking that high horse .. You see that's the thing Dan,why is it seen as someone being on their 'high horse' or being the 'moral police' when they don't meet those that cheat? I am hopefully neither,yes I have my opinion's most of which I keep to myself as I don't know peoples circumstances,but we alway's hear the same thing's don't we!" I have no problem with those that choose not to meet married people. At all. In fact I fully understand it and respect it. However when people come on here criticising the life choices of others when they don't know their backstory or the journey they've been through that ultimately led them to make that decision to sign up on here, then they're making a (in many cases ill-informed) judgement on those people. And, in most cases, it's a derogatory judgement looking down on them, so to those people I stand by my comment. However I do accept this isn't always the case and also accept people are allowed to hold their own views on who they meet and why | |||
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"I am surprised that noone challenged OPs original statement that cheaters are not 'real swingers'. If you want to get technical nor are singles. Originally swingers were married couples meeting other married couples. Therefore singles meeting is not swinging. Although if the single person swings with a married couple that would be real swinging and resolve OPs issue. "The real swingers debate has been done to death and I couldn't give a flying foof whether people think me a real swinger or not | |||
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"I don't like to see anyone get hurt. So in the interests of health and safety please go careful and take extra care when disembarking that high horse .. You see that's the thing Dan,why is it seen as someone being on their 'high horse' or being the 'moral police' when they don't meet those that cheat? I am hopefully neither,yes I have my opinion's most of which I keep to myself as I don't know peoples circumstances,but we alway's hear the same thing's don't we! I have no problem with those that choose not to meet married people. At all. In fact I fully understand it and respect it. However when people come on here criticising the life choices of others when they don't know their backstory or the journey they've been through that ultimately led them to make that decision to sign up on here, then they're making a (in many cases ill-informed) judgement on those people. And, in most cases, it's a derogatory judgement looking down on them, so to those people I stand by my comment. However I do accept this isn't always the case and also accept people are allowed to hold their own views on who they meet and why " | |||
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was once told to fuck off onto match which made me chuckle!!! playing in clubs makes it virtually impossible to make those informed choices, but I go there with a different mindset to those I meet more intimately in my/their houses....I go to a club to be "fucked", I meet intimately with people I'd like to be friends with too. Hence only looking for those who can accommodate. It's all personal choice, doesn't mean we all have to agree with each other.xx | |||
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"I've also been in abusive relationships, and was in a virtually sex less marriage for 15yrs, but I didn't stray. My choice not to, (I got damn good at masturbating!!!) I've had it done to me and wouldn't wish that pain on anyone. I can't choose for other people how they live their lives, all I can choose is how I live mine. So I choose not to (knowingly) meet attached people, but on politely turning guys down on here for that reason have received pissy responses was once told to fuck off onto match which made me chuckle!!! playing in clubs makes it virtually impossible to make those informed choices, but I go there with a different mindset to those I meet more intimately in my/their houses....I go to a club to be "fucked", I meet intimately with people I'd like to be friends with too. Hence only looking for those who can accommodate. It's all personal choice, doesn't mean we all have to agree with each other.xx". | |||
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"Only one can judge us and they cruisified him ." well said , | |||
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"Only one can judge us and they cruisified him . well said , ". Unless you're an atheist | |||
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"Only one can judge us and they cruisified him . well said , "I truly don't see how you can be Catholic / Christian and be on this site?! | |||
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"Only one can judge us and they cruisified him . well said ,
I truly don't see how you can be Catholic / Christian and be on this site?! "True he even frowns upon on you looking at someone and think phwoar! Let alone promiscuously fucking them | |||
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"I had two horrible marriages. My first husband was an alcoholic and drank all through the 7 years i tolerated it and i had a young daughter at the time. I cheated at the very end of the marriage and yet i got told off by a so called friend that it was wrong to do that and yet quite acceptable to tolerate a d*unk who cheated on me. My second husband cheated on me with men . I didnt cheat on him but now i wish i had. I was in a physically abusive marriage for 15 years finally grew a pair of balls and left. But never cheated I'm making up for it now though "Strong character, a lot of respect and may your adventures continue x | |||
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"Only one can judge us and they cruisified him . well said ,
I truly don't see how you can be Catholic / Christian and be on this site?! "Because most if not all religious folk are outright hypocrites | |||
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"People only cheat if they are unhappy in a relashionship or there is no sex ,every body has needs I agree
And to say to leave a marriage which could involve children is in my opinion, a very naive thing to say."But it's ok for those children to have a mum or dad who is knowingly risking the family unit for 20 minutes of extramarital fun?. What kind of example is that setting? If you stay, that you're a doormat, you're showing that it's acceptable to be cheated on, that it's ok to be treated poorly. Or you can stay, put up with the lies, put up with being treated badly "for the sake of children" and just live in misery with low self esteem. But yeah, the kids are happy because mum and dad are together and of course kids don't pick up on anything do they
Children are far more resilient and would adjust to seperated parents, rather than the stress of living in a home with a bad atmosphere and arguments.
If someone wants to cheat then fine, that's their choice. But if the cheated on party wants to leave them, whether or not children are involved, then that is understandable. | |||
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"People only cheat if they are unhappy in a relashionship or there is no sex ,every body has needs I agree
And to say to leave a marriage which could involve children is in my opinion, a very naive thing to say.
But it's ok for those children to have a mum or dad who is knowingly risking the family unit for 20 minutes of extramarital fun?. What kind of example is that setting?
If you stay, that you're a doormat, you're showing that it's acceptable to be cheated on, that it's ok to be treated poorly.
Or you can stay, put up with the lies, put up with being treated badly "for the sake of children" and just live in misery with low self esteem. But yeah, the kids are happy because mum and dad are together and of course kids don't pick up on anything do they
Children are far more resilient and would adjust to seperated parents, rather than the stress of living in a home with a bad atmosphere and arguments.
If someone wants to cheat then fine, that's their choice. But if the cheated on party wants to leave them, whether or not children are involved, then that is understandable. "Suppose it's a couple that have been together for years and love each other very much and want to stay married but they just don't have sex anymore. Should they divorce and rip apart a happy family just so one can have sex? I know it's a very simplistic example but it shows that we don't know why some married folk are swingers. Everyone has their own reasons and unless they want to tell us we would be guessing and possibly doing them a disservice | |||
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"Never heard such a crock of sh#t in my life! Those who think that cheaters should have the balls to end their relationship are pretty poor amateur psychologists! Branding people as "cheaters" and assuming they are all doing the same thing, to the same extent and for the same reason makes me glad you're not a judge or responsible for UK immigration policy. It's not a long way to go from "cheaters!" to "foreigners!" Branding anyone with a label that you decide they should wear because they don't conform to your view of acceptable is the Mistake Hitler made! Some of you who mention castration etc should have a long hard look at yourselves while we count ourselves lucky that B&Q don't sell gas chambers!! FYI i bet if you asked the man in the street what was more disgusting a man cheating on his wife or a woman taking one cock up her pussy, another down her throat then both guys jizzing in her face, i reckon he'd say the cheater was socially more "the norm!" That's just my view and i would not want to shove that down your throat...my cock however is still on offer! "Notice how you didn't mention the ones labelled the moral police or on their high horses, oh wait you did you just don't agree with their right to an opinion and make judgment on the matter. As I've previously mentioned it's a common hypocritical stance on these threads. As a promiscuous woman I know what I do is wrong to many and I continue to do it, in the same way a cheat does I just choose not to do it with a cheat, that's equally allowed to be respected on the ground of "I have my reasons". I also find its a bit of a bitch slap that a promiscuous woman (and a single one especially) is still classed as more morally Incorrupt than a cheater, so if that's your opinion you can keep your cock to yourself as you're really in the wrong place | |||
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"Did i forget to mention that i'm not actually married. Been in the same relationship for a couple of decades and have a family but am not married. I call her my wife because SOME PEOPLE don't get how you can spend decades with the same person and not be married. So...am i a cheater to the same degree if i am cheating on my girlfriend as opposed to my wife? Who's doing what with who is bugger all to do with anyone else except the people doing it. If my other half cheated on me i would love it, as long as love didn't enter into it. FFS i have been asking her to have fun with another bloke since i met her, it's the one big "failing" that stops me being perfect so she puts up with it." Your attached and not married there is still another person involved. She may put up with it and may be utterly miserable doing so, of course can't speak for your partner i don't know (or I might I've found 7 degrees of separation does work on fab more than once), but I know a lot of women in the same situation and that kind of resentment (if it's there) builds only until the person reached breaking point, then if that's the case she could stray, love may very well be involved (since she apparently won't swing) and then where would you be? | |||
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"So...we established that cheaters are not 'real swingers' yet there is lot of them out there. That will never change. My point is.....there is a lot of people who disapprove this kind of behaviour (I'm one of them) and wouldn't blink twice before telling them off....BUT what about people they are cheating with? People who do realise the other person is in realationship, that their partner doesn't know about their other sex activities? Surely they are guilty too.... Are they more guilty though? Afterall if they haven't said Yes in first place the cheater wouldn't have a chance to do so... But then you don't hear about it that much... It's usually the cheater who gets most of the blame if not all of it
If you are asking a bunch of swingers a moral based question all i can add is good luck!! "That would imply swinging is immoral and I'm sorry we definitely still have morals . Someone who is married and having sex behind their partners is back is a cheat and as no morals there is no grey area . A couple swinging together is generally a happy trusting couple with probably more morals than a couple who doesn't swing | |||
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"People only cheat if they are unhappy in a relashionship or there is no sex ,every body has needs " But if only one half of the couple is cheating then what about half of the couple? Are they just meant to remain sexless? | |||
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"Another person involved? Have you told your mum, your dad, your children, sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles that you swing? We all have our secrets, I have told my partner that i would love to see her fucking another bloke and everything that i'd like to see them doing. I go into a lot of detail and have numerous fantasies that i'd love to see enacted including me not being there. BUT! When all said and done she knows that i love her 100%. I support her in everything she does. We have great sex and she knows that i think it would be better sex if we could involve others. She is my rock and i am hers AND we both appreciate that even though sexually we aren't 100% on the same page, sex is a very small fraction of a truly great relationship. We don't need a bit of paper to say we are committed, we just are and neither of us would have it any other way. Oh...Have you told your mum yet, surely you don't want to lie to her for your whole life?" Do monogamous couples or singles discuss either sex life, their fetishes, their porn preferences, their sex toys with their mums, dads, children, siblings etc? No? Then why do you think swingers should? | |||
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"Only one can judge us and they cruisified him . well said ,
I truly don't see how you can be Catholic / Christian and be on this site?!
Because most if not all religious folk are outright hypocrites "true , its a case of do what i say not what i do , if you dont want to meet married people playing away dont , theres plenty that will , just keep your judgemental comments to yourself, | |||
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"So...we established that cheaters are not 'real swingers' yet there is lot of them out there. That will never change. My point is.....there is a lot of people who disapprove this kind of behaviour (I'm one of them) and wouldn't blink twice before telling them off....BUT what about people they are cheating with? People who do realise the other person is in realationship, that their partner doesn't know about their other sex activities? Surely they are guilty too.... Are they more guilty though? Afterall if they haven't said Yes in first place the cheater wouldn't have a chance to do so... But then you don't hear about it that much... It's usually the cheater who gets most of the blame if not all of it
My FWB was married when we first met, I have been seeing him for 2and a half years. He was in a sexless unhappy marriage. I don't think it's your business OP to judge people in any way. I am not guilty of anything. I don't know why people can't just mind their own business and get on with their own lives. X
If you are in a sexless failing marriage have the bolox to leave gracefully there are no excuses, cheating does ruin lives and families, and for what? A fuck!! Have to agree with the OP adultery is not justifiable in any circumstance, and loyalty cant be governed purely by sex. "You do know the definition of adultery is having sexual relations with someone who isn't your spouse ? You're a couple, so therefore if either of you have sexual relations with any other person, regardless of whether your partner knows or not, it's adultery. | |||
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"I'll happily meet a cheater. I don't judge. Someone judges me for that? Their problem. Sit enjoying your judgement, I'm having fun." Biting my tongue | |||
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"So...we established that cheaters are not 'real swingers' yet there is lot of them out there. That will never change. My point is.....there is a lot of people who disapprove this kind of behaviour (I'm one of them) and wouldn't blink twice before telling them off....BUT what about people they are cheating with? People who do realise the other person is in realationship, that their partner doesn't know about their other sex activities? Surely they are guilty too.... Are they more guilty though? Afterall if they haven't said Yes in first place the cheater wouldn't have a chance to do so... But then you don't hear about it that much... It's usually the cheater who gets most of the blame if not all of it
If you are asking a bunch of swingers a moral based question all i can add is good luck!!
That would imply swinging is immoral and I'm sorry we definitely still have morals . Someone who is married and having sex behind their partners is back is a cheat and as no morals there is no grey area . A couple swinging together is generally a happy trusting couple with probably more morals than a couple who doesn't swing "To clarify : you have YOUR morals, which are subjective. Other people might think swinging is immoral based on THEIR morals. There's only "no grey area" as you are applying YOUR ethical code on all others. Who says yours are right? By the way, I respect your view and your right to your ethical and moralistic viewpoint. Your view that any cheater has "no morals" is your subjective view only - as someone else has said that cheater might have much more virtuous morals in other aspects of life than a 'faithful' swinger. | |||
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"Now before the shit hits the fan, I have to say I have every respect for all people's religious beliefs and am not fir one second condemning their beliefs. As Dave Allen ( comedian) used to say ...may your God go with you." I watched the teaching to tell the time sketch a few weeks ago Legendary | |||
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"So...we established that cheaters are not 'real swingers' yet there is lot of them out there. That will never change. My point is.....there is a lot of people who disapprove this kind of behaviour (I'm one of them) and wouldn't blink twice before telling them off....BUT what about people they are cheating with? People who do realise the other person is in realationship, that their partner doesn't know about their other sex activities? Surely they are guilty too.... Are they more guilty though? Afterall if they haven't said Yes in first place the cheater wouldn't have a chance to do so... But then you don't hear about it that much... It's usually the cheater who gets most of the blame if not all of it
My FWB was married when we first met, I have been seeing him for 2and a half years. He was in a sexless unhappy marriage. I don't think it's your business OP to judge people in any way. I am not guilty of anything. I don't know why people can't just mind their own business and get on with their own lives. X
If you are in a sexless failing marriage have the bolox to leave gracefully there are no excuses, cheating does ruin lives and families, and for what? A fuck!!
Have to agree with the OP adultery is not justifiable in any circumstance, and loyalty cant be governed purely by sex. "I just kind of looked up a dictionary definition of adultery. Adultery: voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and a person who is not their spouse. and another definition from Wikipedia: A non-monogamous behavior in which both singles and partners in a committed relationship engage in sexual activities with others (i.e.not their spouse). By the way that last definition was for swinging! Just saying! Not judging. (Pan, Pot, Kettle etc.) | |||
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"So...we established that cheaters are not 'real swingers' yet there is lot of them out there. That will never change. My point is.....there is a lot of people who disapprove this kind of behaviour (I'm one of them) and wouldn't blink twice before telling them off....BUT what about people they are cheating with? People who do realise the other person is in realationship, that their partner doesn't know about their other sex activities? Surely they are guilty too.... Are they more guilty though? Afterall if they haven't said Yes in first place the cheater wouldn't have a chance to do so... But then you don't hear about it that much... It's usually the cheater who gets most of the blame if not all of it
My FWB was married when we first met, I have been seeing him for 2and a half years. He was in a sexless unhappy marriage. I don't think it's your business OP to judge people in any way. I am not guilty of anything. I don't know why people can't just mind their own business and get on with their own lives. X
If you are in a sexless failing marriage have the bolox to leave gracefully there are no excuses, cheating does ruin lives and families, and for what? A fuck!! Have to agree with the OP adultery is not justifiable in any circumstance, and loyalty cant be governed purely by sex.
You do know the definition of adultery is having sexual relations with someone who isn't your spouse ? You're a couple, so therefore if either of you have sexual relations with any other person, regardless of whether your partner knows or not, it's adultery. "
But they don't see it that way so it must be ok ...
The hypocrisy of it all....and religious people aren't worse as some here are trying to point out. It's just you also have a higher expectation of them....but fundamentally they are no different than yourself. | |||
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"Another person involved? Have you told your mum, your dad, your children, sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles that you swing? We all have our secrets, I have told my partner that i would love to see her fucking another bloke and everything that i'd like to see them doing. I go into a lot of detail and have numerous fantasies that i'd love to see enacted including me not being there. BUT! When all said and done she knows that i love her 100%. I support her in everything she does. We have great sex and she knows that i think it would be better sex if we could involve others. She is my rock and i am hers AND we both appreciate that even though sexually we aren't 100% on the same page, sex is a very small fraction of a truly great relationship. We don't need a bit of paper to say we are committed, we just are and neither of us would have it any other way. Oh...Have you told your mum yet, surely you don't want to lie to her for your whole life?" Yes my some of family know it's why my face is on show I have nothing to hide and own the consequences of my decisions. But thanks for the judgement from someone claiming to not be judgemental | |||
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"Its the cheaters choice, not ours to quiz them on there personal life or ours to judge their choice. Blaming the people who shag a cheater, for making it possible. Is like blaming a fork for making you fat..." blame the mouth for eating what's on the fork , | |||
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"So...we established that cheaters are not 'real swingers' yet there is lot of them out there. That will never change. My point is.....there is a lot of people who disapprove this kind of behaviour (I'm one of them) and wouldn't blink twice before telling them off....BUT what about people they are cheating with? People who do realise the other person is in realationship, that their partner doesn't know about their other sex activities? Surely they are guilty too.... Are they more guilty though? Afterall if they haven't said Yes in first place the cheater wouldn't have a chance to do so... But then you don't hear about it that much... It's usually the cheater who gets most of the blame if not all of it
My FWB was married when we first met, I have been seeing him for 2and a half years. He was in a sexless unhappy marriage. I don't think it's your business OP to judge people in any way. I am not guilty of anything. I don't know why people can't just mind their own business and get on with their own lives. X
If you are in a sexless failing marriage have the bolox to leave gracefully there are no excuses, cheating does ruin lives and families, and for what? A fuck!! Have to agree with the OP adultery is not justifiable in any circumstance, and loyalty cant be governed purely by sex.
You do know the definition of adultery is having sexual relations with someone who isn't your spouse ? You're a couple, so therefore if either of you have sexual relations with any other person, regardless of whether your partner knows or not, it's adultery. " | |||
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"Its the cheaters choice, not ours to quiz them on there personal life or ours to judge their choice. Blaming the people who shag a cheater, for making it possible. Is like blaming a fork for making you fat... blame the mouth for eating what's on the fork , "Wonder if there will be a spate of...'goodbye fab' threads after this...or is it just block fodder | |||
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"I would suggest you are speaking personally and not philosophically. Inherent on your homily is a lecture and your definition of swinging is entirely personal. " Oddly enough, I know my own mind. And I cannot imagine that anyone could seriously disagree that one of the essential features of swinging is honesty; obviously not the only feature. The Humpty Dumpty relativism that words mean what one personally wants them to mean - and that one is entitled to do whatever one wants and to evade all responsibility, regardless of context - is, in philosophical circles at least, radically out of fashion. | |||
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"So...we established that cheaters are not 'real swingers' yet there is lot of them out there. That will never change. My point is.....there is a lot of people who disapprove this kind of behaviour (I'm one of them) and wouldn't blink twice before telling them off....BUT what about people they are cheating with? People who do realise the other person is in realationship, that their partner doesn't know about their other sex activities? Surely they are guilty too.... Are they more guilty though? Afterall if they haven't said Yes in first place the cheater wouldn't have a chance to do so... But then you don't hear about it that much... It's usually the cheater who gets most of the blame if not all of it "strange site to be moralistic each to their own | |||
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"So...we established that cheaters are not 'real swingers' yet there is lot of them out there. That will never change. My point is.....there is a lot of people who disapprove this kind of behaviour (I'm one of them) and wouldn't blink twice before telling them off....BUT what about people they are cheating with? People who do realise the other person is in realationship, that their partner doesn't know about their other sex activities? Surely they are guilty too.... Are they more guilty though? Afterall if they haven't said Yes in first place the cheater wouldn't have a chance to do so... But then you don't hear about it that much... It's usually the cheater who gets most of the blame if not all of it
My FWB was married when we first met, I have been seeing him for 2and a half years. He was in a sexless unhappy marriage. I don't think it's your business OP to judge people in any way. I am not guilty of anything. I don't know why people can't just mind their own business and get on with their own lives. X
If you are in a sexless failing marriage have the bolox to leave gracefully there are no excuses, cheating does ruin lives and families, and for what? A fuck!! Have to agree with the OP adultery is not justifiable in any circumstance, and loyalty cant be governed purely by sex. "In your opinion.......I am not married, I do not need to have bollocks to leave anybody. There are a lot of sanctimonious people on Fab. XXX | |||
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"So...we established that cheaters are not 'real swingers' yet there is lot of them out there. That will never change. My point is.....there is a lot of people who disapprove this kind of behaviour (I'm one of them) and wouldn't blink twice before telling them off....BUT what about people they are cheating with? People who do realise the other person is in realationship, that their partner doesn't know about their other sex activities? Surely they are guilty too.... Are they more guilty though? Afterall if they haven't said Yes in first place the cheater wouldn't have a chance to do so... But then you don't hear about it that much... It's usually the cheater who gets most of the blame if not all of it
My FWB was married when we first met, I have been seeing him for 2and a half years. He was in a sexless unhappy marriage. I don't think it's your business OP to judge people in any way. I am not guilty of anything. I don't know why people can't just mind their own business and get on with their own lives. X
If you are in a sexless failing marriage have the bolox to leave gracefully there are no excuses, cheating does ruin lives and families, and for what? A fuck!! Have to agree with the OP adultery is not justifiable in any circumstance, and loyalty cant be governed purely by sex.
You do know the definition of adultery is having sexual relations with someone who isn't your spouse ? You're a couple, so therefore if either of you have sexual relations with any other person, regardless of whether your partner knows or not, it's adultery.
"Sanctimonious bullshit XXX | |||
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"I don't meet cheaters but Its not for me to judge people. I kinda just don't like the whole persona that goes with it. Id rather meet people that can show respect for others and be fully up front rather than secretive and deceitful. Just the kind of people I prefer to have around me to be honest. Id rather just stay away from them. " | |||
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"So...we established that cheaters are not 'real swingers' yet there is lot of them out there. That will never change. My point is.....there is a lot of people who disapprove this kind of behaviour (I'm one of them) and wouldn't blink twice before telling them off....BUT what about people they are cheating with? People who do realise the other person is in realationship, that their partner doesn't know about their other sex activities? Surely they are guilty too.... Are they more guilty though? Afterall if they haven't said Yes in first place the cheater wouldn't have a chance to do so... But then you don't hear about it that much... It's usually the cheater who gets most of the blame if not all of it "But it's none of your business, I agree no one likes a cheater but it's not for anyone to judge them. Chances are you not anyone else has any idea of their personal circumstances or the reasons they are cheating. If you don't like it say no thanks and move on. And no I am not cheating and yes I have been cheated on. | |||
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"So...we established that cheaters are not 'real swingers' yet there is lot of them out there. That will never change. My point is.....there is a lot of people who disapprove this kind of behaviour (I'm one of them) and wouldn't blink twice before telling them off....BUT what about people they are cheating with? People who do realise the other person is in realationship, that their partner doesn't know about their other sex activities? Surely they are guilty too.... Are they more guilty though? Afterall if they haven't said Yes in first place the cheater wouldn't have a chance to do so... But then you don't hear about it that much... It's usually the cheater who gets most of the blame if not all of it "Have you got nothing better to do with your time than stick your moralistic nose into other people's affairs, judge people and take the moral high ground. Bit rich coming from someone on a sex site. Jog on and go poke your nose into something else. X | |||
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"This post is a load of bullshit. Why are some people so bothered about what other people do....Just jog on and mind your own business. Fab moral police x" If you don't want judging for your actions and personal choices don't judge the "moral police" for theirs, take your own advice and jog on. It does work both ways you know | |||
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"You could just leave them to get on with it." let him without sin cast the first stone... thats most of us fucked , | |||
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"So...we established that cheaters are not 'real swingers' yet there is lot of them out there. That will never change. My point is.....there is a lot of people who disapprove this kind of behaviour (I'm one of them) and wouldn't blink twice before telling them off....BUT what about people they are cheating with? People who do realise the other person is in realationship, that their partner doesn't know about their other sex activities? Surely they are guilty too.... Are they more guilty though? Afterall if they haven't said Yes in first place the cheater wouldn't have a chance to do so... But then you don't hear about it that much... It's usually the cheater who gets most of the blame if not all of it
Have you got nothing better to do with your time than stick your moralistic nose into other people's affairs, judge people and take the moral high ground. Bit rich coming from someone on a sex site. Jog on and go poke your nose into something else. X"you come across way worse in your posts tiger | |||
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"But when you look at bigger picture...'heat of the moment' action could actually ruin someone's life. Pernamently. Would person, who agreed to 'help' a cheater, would feel guilty? Even a little bit? Or that wouldn't be their business? " there life there choice .why let it worry u if it doesn't concern you ...if u arnt paying the persons bills ect then it's nothing to do with you x | |||
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"I don't meet married men, my choice. I don't feel the need to tell them off but if that's the reason I won't meet them I tell them. I was told yesterday I was "sexist" for that decision, I can't wait to hear the reasoning behind that. My problem is the men who lie about their relationship status and don't give me the right to decide. " ...did u feel bad after us fucked them or did u enjoy it tho | |||
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"So...we established that cheaters are not 'real swingers' yet there is lot of them out there. That will never change. My point is.....there is a lot of people who disapprove this kind of behaviour (I'm one of them) and wouldn't blink twice before telling them off....BUT what about people they are cheating with? People who do realise the other person is in realationship, that their partner doesn't know about their other sex activities? Surely they are guilty too.... Are they more guilty though? Afterall if they haven't said Yes in first place the cheater wouldn't have a chance to do so... But then you don't hear about it that much... It's usually the cheater who gets most of the blame if not all of it
Have you got nothing better to do with your time than stick your moralistic nose into other people's affairs, judge people and take the moral high ground. Bit rich coming from someone on a sex site. Jog on and go poke your nose into something else. X"You're doing the same and sticking your nose into his business, fair is fair. The problem is where the person draws their moral line it's obvious where both lines are drawn in this instance. Ive said it before and I'll say it again if you can't accept all the consequences of your actions (and in this case if that being frowned upon by the people you name the moral police) then you shouldn't be doing what your doing. I'm a promiscuous woman, what am doing is immoral to many, I accept that and I'm happy to be called a slag, a slut or any other name by someone that draws their moral line at calling me wrong for doing it. Do I believe they are right no because I have a different moral code, do I try to belittle them by calling them names, no they are entitled to their opinion, I just disagree with it | |||
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"I would suggest you are speaking personally and not philosophically. Inherent on your homily is a lecture and your definition of swinging is entirely personal. Oddly enough, I know my own mind. And I cannot imagine that anyone could seriously disagree that one of the essential features of swinging is honesty; obviously not the only feature. The Humpty Dumpty relativism that words mean what one personally wants them to mean - and that one is entitled to do whatever one wants and to evade all responsibility, regardless of context - is, in philosophical circles at least, radically out of fashion." Erm please point to an official definition of swinging. I would bet £50 that no dictionary definition includes honesty. Therefore l suspect you were being relativist by including your own definition of swinging. This debate and others on fab clearly show that people see the essentials of swinging differently and define it differently. Therefore you are deliberately ignoring and discount all the views honestly held that differ from yours. Because most sanctimonious swingers live in a bubble they do not see how morally doubtful their own actions and all swingers are seen by society. Hence last year's Swingfields media outbreak of indignation. | |||
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"You could just leave them to get on with it. let him without sin cast the first stone... thats most of us fucked , "Hopefully, quite soon! | |||
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"You could just leave them to get on with it. let him without sin cast the first stone... thats most of us fucked ,
Hopefully, quite soon! "Tomorrow | |||
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"I'll happily meet a cheater. I don't judge. Someone judges me for that? Their problem. Sit enjoying your judgement, I'm having fun." | |||
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"... You do know the definition of adultery is having sexual relations with someone who isn't your spouse ? You're a couple, so therefore if either of you have sexual relations with any other person, regardless of whether your partner knows or not, it's adultery. " | |||
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"So...we established that cheaters are not 'real swingers' yet there is lot of them out there. That will never change. " who has the rights to define what a ''real'' swinger is ?? what morals doe's one have when we are all on a sex /swingers site ?? my moto is judge no one apart from yourself | |||
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"So...we established that cheaters are not 'real swingers' yet there is lot of them out there. That will never change. who has the rights to define what a ''real'' swinger is ?? what morals doe's one have when we are all on a sex /swingers site ?? my moto is judge no one apart from yourself "Your not above making judgement of others, on this site you do it every day you contemplate wether to meet someone or not purely given on the information provided to you and im guessing rarely look beyond that so don't act above it with bull shit like that | |||
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"You do know the definition of adultery is having sexual relations with someone who isn't your spouse ? You're a couple, so therefore if either of you have sexual relations with any other person, regardless of whether your partner knows or not, it's adultery. " Is it agreed that adultery is the same as cheating though? As far as I can see, most of the couples on here know exactly when their spouses are having sex with someone else, but when a guy or woman on here is playing away, and states on their profile their spouse doesn't know they are doing that, can we class them the same as the couple playing together? | |||
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"You do know the definition of adultery is having sexual relations with someone who isn't your spouse ? You're a couple, so therefore if either of you have sexual relations with any other person, regardless of whether your partner knows or not, it's adultery. Is it agreed that adultery is the same as cheating though? As far as I can see, most of the couples on here know exactly when their spouses are having sex with someone else, but when a guy or woman on here is playing away, and states on their profile their spouse doesn't know they are doing that, can we class them the same as the couple playing together?" Funnily enough if you look up the dictionary definitions, cheating has a moral definition, adultery merely a legal one - so the latter is simply 'having sex with someone who is not your spouse', but the former is always 'unfair or dishonest'. So swingers are mostly having adultery by mutual consent, cheaters are doing something without consent. | |||
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"You do know the definition of adultery is having sexual relations with someone who isn't your spouse ? You're a couple, so therefore if either of you have sexual relations with any other person, regardless of whether your partner knows or not, it's adultery. Is it agreed that adultery is the same as cheating though? As far as I can see, most of the couples on here know exactly when their spouses are having sex with someone else, but when a guy or woman on here is playing away, and states on their profile their spouse doesn't know they are doing that, can we class them the same as the couple playing together?" If you look back at the quote I applied this to, it was directed back at the poster who was criticising people who commit adultery, and yet, ironically, has been committing adultery her very self by having sexual relations with people who weren't her spouse. He who lives in glass houses, and all that... | |||
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"I wonder if people check martial status , when playing at a club ?
"They all do..its common knowledge.....they get out their phones and make sure each time | |||
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" The bit that makes me laugh is the couples on here who say that they have open and honest relationships with each other and then the men message single females looking for meets behind their partners back. Several times a week this happens to me on here. This has been couples I have met and couples I haven't met. I try not to meet attached men as I have had the irate other women turn up on my doorstep or at my work. Too much drama for me. " I've had a few married ladies independently tell me that vocal anti-cheaters on the forums have messaged them seeking to meet them in private - it seems that people's morals slip when it's a bisexual married lady prepared to fulfil their FFM fantasy | |||
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