I was in a changing rooms and heard people whispering, then they started talking more openly and brought me into it by asking if I thought someone there was male or female. I said female, another woman agreed with me but two guys didn't.
The guys carried on chatting about how they looked facially, genitally and it made me feel uncomfortable. I told whatever that person is you need to respect that she is presenting here as a woman. One bloke continued so I repeated it. This is a swinging club with supposedly open minded people!
If someone presents as a gender please respect it. Don't bitch and whisper behind their back, life is likely hard enough outside those premises let alone inside.
Could I have done anything more? What would you do? |
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In our experience a large proportion of swingers are very conservative in their views on others sexuality even if they publicly claim otherwise.
We have suffered the effects of ill informed or malacious gossiping being described as "that weird couple" so try not to do what we don't want done to us. |
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"Swingers" as a group are the one of the most closed minded groups I've encountered in my life, individually of course there is a range from completely blinkered to completely accepting.
In the situation described here I hope I would have told these people to mind their own flaming business and gone and chatted to the person they were talking about. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was in a changing rooms and heard people whispering, then they started talking more openly and brought me into it by asking if I thought someone there was male or female. I said female, another woman agreed with me but two guys didn't.
The guys carried on chatting about how they looked facially, genitally and it made me feel uncomfortable. I told whatever that person is you need to respect that she is presenting here as a woman. One bloke continued so I repeated it. This is a swinging club with supposedly open minded people!
If someone presents as a gender please respect it. Don't bitch and whisper behind their back, life is likely hard enough outside those premises let alone inside.
Could I have done anything more? What would you do?"
I think it's really good of you to speak up but there's little more you can do.
Personally I love it when people aren't sure. There's little point completely fooling them in a club though as they may not appreciate the huge surprise I have for them 
It's pretty rude if they're whispering and pointing if I'm nearby but I'm not going to lose sleep if they discuss me away from me. I hope they're making compliments rather than saying I look awful.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We would ( and have ) done exactly the same as you in similar situations .
And as said by another couple - some swingers are the most narrow minded and judgemental people we have ever come across .
Open minded is certainly not the first thing that comes to mind when we think of the scene at all  |
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"I was in a changing rooms and heard people whispering, then they started talking more openly and brought me into it by asking if I thought someone there was male or female. I said female, another woman agreed with me but two guys didn't.
The guys carried on chatting about how they looked facially, genitally and it made me feel uncomfortable. I told whatever that person is you need to respect that she is presenting here as a woman. One bloke continued so I repeated it. This is a swinging club with supposedly open minded people!
If someone presents as a gender please respect it. Don't bitch and whisper behind their back, life is likely hard enough outside those premises let alone inside.
Could I have done anything more? What would you do?"
Where they bitching and being disrespectful or just being curious?
Could the she or he hear them? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If they were discretely talking well away from the person is it any different to any other conversation in a swing club?
I'm sure we've all discussed a particularly attractive person or someone who's wearing something terrible.
It only becomes rude when you point, whisper and stare. |
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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago
West Wales |
I don't think you could have done more, I tend to be more forthright if something raises my hackles and I probably would have said "Why do you fancy them?" If the answer was no I would add "So why the fuck does it matter?"..
S |
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Difficult to see how you could have done much more. It's then up to you to decide if you want to chat with her later. I doubt it's the first time she's experienced such a thing and she may have her own views on the best way to manage things, which you could take account of if the situation re-occurs. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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some people can't think outside of black and white terms, it's been scientifically studied and proven. all you can do is have your say and if they don't understand what you meant then they just don't understand and probably never will. |
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It doesn't sound like they where being rude just curious.
Its a hard one to approach if they are that convincing for sure.
I think you did the right thing atqnding up for them but it doesn't sound like they intended any harm- just curious. |
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