i am in a relationship that is going well, been odd club together, she loves sex etc and keen to try some new things, she had odd 3 some lot years ago tried bi and knows that is not for her. only thing holding us back a little is her lack of confidence in her own sex appeal , she size 18 had children etc but i think sexy and tell her shes sexy . problem is her ex put her down all the time with things like your fat ugly as well as hitting her to point of breaking bones , hes well out of the picture now she had counselling etc,but still shy as far as been nude as say after years of been put down find it hard to be told your sexy good looking etc, and cannot see how anyone can find her sexy, just wondered what had built other ladies confidence up. i just thinking time and showing her love |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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she needs to stop listening to her ex, this will be really hard but it can be done.
other people can tell her what she needs to hear and that will help but until she figures out her ex said those things to purposely harm her and destroy her confidence then there's not a lot more can be done.
focusing on her good points is good.
changing what she can change is good, getting the effort together to do that could be hard if she feels she isn't worth the effort.
accepting what she can't change is good too.
so, her ex said everything he said to purposely harm her as he is not a nice person. he must have liked everything he hated when they met else they wouldn't have been a couple? but the damage has been done. if she could focus on how what he said does not correlate with his actions then this may help. also a normal person wouldn't say those things about someone they used to care about, so he probably never cared. bet she didn't have the same thoughts about him when they split/were at the end of the relationship?
try to make logical sense of him, if you can. that's the first step to understanding he is a liar and abuser. |
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not tried bbw night yet
as for ex she knows in her head hes liar etc but guess after years of been put down take years of building her up for her to believe it. i think it be after xmas before we have time to try a club again. then it either be bbw or bdsm night |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i am in a relationship that is going well, been odd club together, she loves sex etc and keen to try some new things, she had odd 3 some lot years ago tried bi and knows that is not for her. only thing holding us back a little is her lack of confidence in her own sex appeal , she size 18 had children etc but i think sexy and tell her shes sexy . problem is her ex put her down all the time with things like your fat ugly as well as hitting her to point of breaking bones , hes well out of the picture now she had counselling etc,but still shy as far as been nude as say after years of been put down find it hard to be told your sexy good looking etc, and cannot see how anyone can find her sexy, just wondered what had built other ladies confidence up. i just thinking time and showing her love"
Not to sound weird but find someone on here who fancies her and would love to meet her. Id say meet him first. If you two can become friends and he can genuinely respect your wife as a beautiful lady and obviously wants a threesome with you lot. All the horned up shit aside. I wouldve loved to help. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would suggest anyone with a lack of confidence avoids swinging and swinging sites. Work with a therapist to get confidence up first, otherwise the rejections will just kill you. |
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