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Just can't win
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Why is it when I write a generic massage we get reply like not interested in copy n past messages, write a filthy opening message we have no respect or write a simple Hi how are you message we're not putting in any effort.
What are we meant to do you've only got two fucking lines on your profile give us something to fucking go on and we'll give you an interesting fucking message. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I feel your pain brother...some (not all) get all these million messages within 5mins so their ego's get a little uplift and they think a close up picture of their nipple is all they need to do with a couple sentances about what they won't tollerate...their actually easily spotted & avoided  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm sorry but 99% guys don't read profiles so you must be in the minority. When I question guys who have little on their profile they say well get to know me and find out what I like. if the women you message don't think you're for them get over it and move on is my suggestion  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I feel your pain brother...some (not all) get all these million messages within 5mins so their ego's get a little uplift and they think a close up picture of their nipple is all they need to do with a couple sentances about what they won't tollerate...their actually easily spotted & avoided "
That IS all they need to do on here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why is it when I write a generic massage we get reply like not interested in copy n past messages, write a filthy opening message we have no respect or write a simple Hi how are you message we're not putting in any effort.
What are we meant to do you've only got two fucking lines on your profile give us something to fucking go on and we'll give you an interesting fucking message. "
You've had 14 meets in around a year. Why are you whining? |
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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago
West Wales |
OP are you not reading posts on here from the women saying they want interesting messages & then transposing that to all your messages to everyone?
Surely a waste of effort? Attack like with like, two line profile = no message, as in our experience conversation is akin to talking to a Chinaman in Arabic, one short question/sentence at a time & usually misunderstood or not answered by the monosylable response 
An OK paragraph gets a nice short message. A good profile gets a nice sizable message.
S |
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By no mean do I use a scatter gun approach I will only message people I have a physical attraction to and I match there preferences too (think that's the right to).
The reason I message people with simple profile is I remember how hard it was to put a profile together it took me years and multiple rewrites to get it to what it is today and I still don't feel it's 100%. I hope to get an intellectual conversation rolling. |
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"You've had 14 meets in around a year. Why are you whining?"
I've had meet 14 people in over 3 years years and yes I'm happy with that as I'm not interest in random shags my last meet was April 2016 as I took a break.
Not whining just making a point. |
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"OP are you not reading posts on here from the women saying they want interesting messages & then transposing that to all your messages to everyone?
Surely a waste of effort? Attack like with like, two line profile = no message, as in our experience conversation is akin to talking to a Chinaman in Arabic, one short question/sentence at a time & usually misunderstood or not answered by the monosylable response
An OK paragraph gets a nice short message. A good profile gets a nice sizable message.
S"
I always try to give a decent message just try to stick up for my fellow MAN but how do you respond intellectually to a profile that says not new to the scene, not looking for one of meets will fill in more later. |
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"OP are you not reading posts on here from the women saying they want interesting messages & then transposing that to all your messages to everyone?
Surely a waste of effort? Attack like with like, two line profile = no message, as in our experience conversation is akin to talking to a Chinaman in Arabic, one short question/sentence at a time & usually misunderstood or not answered by the monosylable response
An OK paragraph gets a nice short message. A good profile gets a nice sizable message.
S I always try to give a decent message just try to stick up for my fellow MAN but how do you respond intellectually to a profile that says not new to the scene, not looking for one of meets will fill in more later. "
Don't. Simple. The profile is there so you can decide to message or not. |
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"Maybe it's time for a break then, or change something if your approach isn't working."
That's what I'm saying I've just took a break and came back about two weeks ago. I'm happy as larry just making a point as guys really seem to be getting a hammering when it's not always them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"OP are you not reading posts on here from the women saying they want interesting messages & then transposing that to all your messages to everyone?
Surely a waste of effort? Attack like with like, two line profile = no message, as in our experience conversation is akin to talking to a Chinaman in Arabic, one short question/sentence at a time & usually misunderstood or not answered by the monosylable response
An OK paragraph gets a nice short message. A good profile gets a nice sizable message.
S I always try to give a decent message just try to stick up for my fellow MAN but how do you respond intellectually to a profile that says not new to the scene, not looking for one of meets will fill in more later. "
Just because you think you write 'decent' messages doesn't mean they are.
You can write the best message known to man but ultimately if they don't like your face, it's a pointless exercise.
Maybe they just don't like the look of you. |
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"OP are you not reading posts on here from the women saying they want interesting messages & then transposing that to all your messages to everyone?
Surely a waste of effort? Attack like with like, two line profile = no message, as in our experience conversation is akin to talking to a Chinaman in Arabic, one short question/sentence at a time & usually misunderstood or not answered by the monosylable response
An OK paragraph gets a nice short message. A good profile gets a nice sizable message.
S I always try to give a decent message just try to stick up for my fellow MAN but how do you respond intellectually to a profile that says not new to the scene, not looking for one of meets will fill in more later.
Just because you think you write 'decent' messages doesn't mean they are.
You can write the best message known to man but ultimately if they don't like your face, it's a pointless exercise.
Maybe they just don't like the look of you."
Sorry I think you may have misinterpreted what I'm saying. |
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On other dating sites, if I see "will fill in later", I think 'may message later
Here, I think wayhey she is obviously not fussy, and is not ruling out unfit middle aged bisexual white men with an average package, I'll send a message.
I do read profiles and don't try to meet people who lay down what they are looking for, if I don't qualify. |
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By *andACouple
over a year ago
glasgow |
I actually have a fair bit of sympathy for single guys in this position. A generic message never looks good but if they're going down the route of writing fairly detailed replies to specific profiles they could spend half their life on fab composing messages for very little or no return.
|
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"On other dating sites, if I see "will fill in later", I think 'may message later
Here, I think wayhey she is obviously not fussy, and is not ruling out unfit middle aged bisexual white men with an average package, I'll send a message.
I do read profiles and don't try to meet people who lay down what they are looking for, if I don't qualify."
As everyone should I know yes there are guys out there that a prick but with all them simple profiles out there I'd estimate it to be 50/50 |
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"I actually have a fair bit of sympathy for single guys in this position. A generic message never looks good but if they're going down the route of writing fairly detailed replies to specific profiles they could spend half their life on fab composing messages for very little or no return.
"
Thank you for the sympathy, we should be supporting those that are trying but struggling and reporting those that aren't putting in the effort rather then just ignoring them making it a much friendlier community for everyone. |
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By *exatooCouple
over a year ago
Bournemouth/ Fuerteventura |
"I actually have a fair bit of sympathy for single guys in this position. A generic message never looks good but if they're going down the route of writing fairly detailed replies to specific profiles they could spend half their life on fab composing messages for very little or no return.
"
(Mrs)
Me too.
Op your profile shows you've taken time and effort writing it. It's well written and meaningful
Good luck |
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"I actually have a fair bit of sympathy for single guys in this position. A generic message never looks good but if they're going down the route of writing fairly detailed replies to specific profiles they could spend half their life on fab composing messages for very little or no return.
(Mrs)
Me too.
Op your profile shows you've taken time and effort writing it. It's well written and meaningful
Good luck "
Thank you much appreciated, happy swinging. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Dude (OP)
You are one of a hundred thousand single guys, or those who purport to be, single guys on this site. Single ladies and couples will bet inundated with replies from the massed legions of single chaps in search of sexual gratification.
I recently met a lady from FAB and she showed me her FAB mail for the day. To respond to all the messages would have needed a PA if indeed she was inclined to do so. Some of the one hundred plus messages were obnoxious and some were genuine but to answer all would be an impossible task for her.
The guy who wrote to her asking if he could make her pregnant she did in fact respond with a very well constructed narrative pointing out the blatant disrespect of the message. What followed could only be penned by someone who is in need of help.
Non replies is just a facet of the unequal mix of FAB participants. |
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"Dude (OP)
You are one of a hundred thousand single guys, or those who purport to be, single guys on this site. Single ladies and couples will bet inundated with replies from the massed legions of single chaps in search of sexual gratification.
I recently met a lady from FAB and she showed me her FAB mail for the day. To respond to all the messages would have needed a PA if indeed she was inclined to do so. Some of the one hundred plus messages were obnoxious and some were genuine but to answer all would be an impossible task for her.
The guy who wrote to her asking if he could make her pregnant she did in fact respond with a very well constructed narrative pointing out the blatant disrespect of the message. What followed could only be penned by someone who is in need of help.
Non replies is just a facet of the unequal mix of FAB participants. "
I understand that and that's fine. What I'm getting at is these people with simple basic profiles bitching about guys sending simple basic messages and the fact guys are the only one's that seem to do it (i think not). I'm start to think I didn't quite explain it as well as i should have in my original post |
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Have you maybe considered that maybe not all these profiles with very little on them that you are mailing aren't actually females ? 
As said before if mailing these types of profile is causing you angst. .then use that as a filter of those not to contact.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Dude (OP)
You are one of a hundred thousand single guys, or those who purport to be, single guys on this site. Single ladies and couples will bet inundated with replies from the massed legions of single chaps in search of sexual gratification.
I recently met a lady from FAB and she showed me her FAB mail for the day. To respond to all the messages would have needed a PA if indeed she was inclined to do so. Some of the one hundred plus messages were obnoxious and some were genuine but to answer all would be an impossible task for her.
The guy who wrote to her asking if he could make her pregnant she did in fact respond with a very well constructed narrative pointing out the blatant disrespect of the message. What followed could only be penned by someone who is in need of help.
Non replies is just a facet of the unequal mix of FAB participants. I understand that and that's fine. What I'm getting at is these people with simple basic profiles bitching about guys sending simple basic messages and the fact guys are the only one's that seem to do it (i think not). I'm start to think I didn't quite explain it as well as i should have in my original post"
.
I think we've all grasped that you're unhappy about the hypocrisy.
But people can present their profile as they see fit? No one is forcing you to message them and I'm failing to see the point in this thread. If it bothers you this much, block them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Maybe try something original in each message? Read their profile, go from that and see what response you get?
I'm not exactly flooded with responses but then again I'm a rambler and also can take when I'm not someone's taste.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Dude (OP)
You are one of a hundred thousand single guys, or those who purport to be, single guys on this site. Single ladies and couples will bet inundated with replies from the massed legions of single chaps in search of sexual gratification.
I recently met a lady from FAB and she showed me her FAB mail for the day. To respond to all the messages would have needed a PA if indeed she was inclined to do so. Some of the one hundred plus messages were obnoxious and some were genuine but to answer all would be an impossible task for her.
The guy who wrote to her asking if he could make her pregnant she did in fact respond with a very well constructed narrative pointing out the blatant disrespect of the message. What followed could only be penned by someone who is in need of help.
Non replies is just a facet of the unequal mix of FAB participants. I understand that and that's fine. What I'm getting at is these people with simple basic profiles bitching about guys sending simple basic messages and the fact guys are the only one's that seem to do it (i think not). I'm start to think I didn't quite explain it as well as i should have in my original post.
I think we've all grasped that you're unhappy about the hypocrisy.
But people can present their profile as they see fit? No one is forcing you to message them and I'm failing to see the point in this thread. If it bothers you this much, block them."
I truly think that most genuine FABSTERS are not hypocritical. It just the volume! How many messages do you get hundreds I expect? You cannot possibly rply to all as you have a life out side recreational sex? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Dude (OP)
You are one of a hundred thousand single guys, or those who purport to be, single guys on this site. Single ladies and couples will bet inundated with replies from the massed legions of single chaps in search of sexual gratification.
I recently met a lady from FAB and she showed me her FAB mail for the day. To respond to all the messages would have needed a PA if indeed she was inclined to do so. Some of the one hundred plus messages were obnoxious and some were genuine but to answer all would be an impossible task for her.
The guy who wrote to her asking if he could make her pregnant she did in fact respond with a very well constructed narrative pointing out the blatant disrespect of the message. What followed could only be penned by someone who is in need of help.
Non replies is just a facet of the unequal mix of FAB participants. I understand that and that's fine. What I'm getting at is these people with simple basic profiles bitching about guys sending simple basic messages and the fact guys are the only one's that seem to do it (i think not). I'm start to think I didn't quite explain it as well as i should have in my original post.
I think we've all grasped that you're unhappy about the hypocrisy.
But people can present their profile as they see fit? No one is forcing you to message them and I'm failing to see the point in this thread. If it bothers you this much, block them. I truly think that most genuine FABSTERS are not hypocritical. It just the volume! How many messages do you get hundreds I expect? You cannot possibly rply to all as you have a life out side recreational sex?"
I think what he's saying is the lack of effort gone into the profiles of the women he's contacting.
Saying that, I'm past caring...
I don't get hundreds of messages as I block everyone locally who I know I'll never meet, plus my filters are pretty tight. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why is it when I write a generic massage we get reply like not interested in copy n past messages, write a filthy opening message we have no respect or write a simple Hi how are you message we're not putting in any effort.
What are we meant to do you've only got two fucking lines on your profile give us something to fucking go on and we'll give you an interesting fucking message. "
I hate all this whinging from single blokes? I personally think this site is brilliant and I have no problem with getting ignored, I've met some interesting people, had some amazing new experiences. So thankyou all you wonderful fabsters I love you all
Oh and while I'm here does anyone fancy a shag |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why not only message the interesting ones, instead of deploying a scattergun approach and hoping someone will bite?"
Unfortunately for those primarily looking to contact women, if you skip all the half-filled, zero-effort profiles ("a close up picture of their nipple"  ) you are left with impossibly few options - unless you can travel the breadth of the UK. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Dude (OP)
You are one of a hundred thousand single guys, or those who purport to be, single guys on this site. Single ladies and couples will bet inundated with replies from the massed legions of single chaps in search of sexual gratification.
I recently met a lady from FAB and she showed me her FAB mail for the day. To respond to all the messages would have needed a PA if indeed she was inclined to do so. Some of the one hundred plus messages were obnoxious and some were genuine but to answer all would be an impossible task for her.
The guy who wrote to her asking if he could make her pregnant she did in fact respond with a very well constructed narrative pointing out the blatant disrespect of the message. What followed could only be penned by someone who is in need of help.
Non replies is just a facet of the unequal mix of FAB participants. I understand that and that's fine. What I'm getting at is these people with simple basic profiles bitching about guys sending simple basic messages and the fact guys are the only one's that seem to do it (i think not). I'm start to think I didn't quite explain it as well as i should have in my original post.
I think we've all grasped that you're unhappy about the hypocrisy.
But people can present their profile as they see fit? No one is forcing you to message them and I'm failing to see the point in this thread. If it bothers you this much, block them. I truly think that most genuine FABSTERS are not hypocritical. It just the volume! How many messages do you get hundreds I expect? You cannot possibly rply to all as you have a life out side recreational sex?
I think what he's saying is the lack of effort gone into the profiles of the women he's contacting.
Saying that, I'm past caring...
I don't get hundreds of messages as I block everyone locally who I know I'll never meet, plus my filters are pretty tight."
You cannot beat tight filters Ms R.................... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So angry 
Why's that?"
because your swear 3 times in as many sentences
If you message and someone else replies...great
If not...move on
There are 1000s of men on fab as to 1000s of chicks
Some are nice some are not
Just like the many guys that don't read profiles but send wanna fuck? messages
If you don't like delete |
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A few tips...are you checking what the people are looking for? My profile is detailed I still get messages from people my profile says I'm kit looking for.
Correct the punctuation in your profile, I might be pedantic but misusing apostrophes aka 'greengrocers disease' is irritating.
If people aren't replying consider they might not be attracted. Do you want messages telling you that?
Consider why women don't reply..hundreds of messages a week, men not reading before they contact, abuse they get when they say no thanks.
How would you feel if you got an inbox full of crap? Men sending silly fantasy type messages what they want to do..it's a massive turn off tbh. The 'I've read your profile...' Messages when they've clearly not read it are quite tiresome.
The fact is most men don't read before they contact. You can't accommodate either, that's a negative and often means men your age are playing away. |
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"Why not only message the interesting ones, instead of deploying a scattergun approach and hoping someone will bite?
Unfortunately for those primarily looking to contact women, if you skip all the half-filled, zero-effort profiles ("a close up picture of their nipple" ) you are left with impossibly few options - unless you can travel the breadth of the UK."
Thank you, you seem to grasp what I'm getting at have I explained really poorly? |
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Hey OP I think your profile piccie looks like you have one of those tiny pony tails ... that would put me off (but once I looked at the rest of the photos... I was pleasantly surprised) xx
PS I thought the swearing rant was pretty amusing
Happy fabbing! |
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"A few tips...are you checking what the people are looking for? My profile is detailed I still get messages from people my profile says I'm kit looking for.
Correct the punctuation in your profile, I might be pedantic but misusing apostrophes aka 'greengrocers disease' is irritating.
If people aren't replying consider they might not be attracted. Do you want messages telling you that?
Consider why women don't reply..hundreds of messages a week, men not reading before they contact, abuse they get when they say no thanks.
How would you feel if you got an inbox full of crap? Men sending silly fantasy type messages what they want to do..it's a massive turn off tbh. The 'I've read your profile...' Messages when they've clearly not read it are quite tiresome.
The fact is most men don't read before they contact. You can't accommodate either, that's a negative and often means men your age are playing away."
I'm not on about not getting not getting responses or being ignored not once have I mentioned that (I'm chappy with my profile I'm happy with the replies I get and happy with the meets I get). I'm on about the criticisms guy's get when women and couples are just as bad. |
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It doesn't apply to you as you have a full profile with images but most don't so we just press delete.
It's obvious most don't read profiles and for us it's important people meet our preferences.
What some fail to realise is their has to be attraction and are wanting the same things.
Many single guys send messages forgetting the fact we are a couple.. saying things like.. hi beautiful.. and even include kisses.
It's a swing site not a dating site ffs |
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"Hey OP I think your profile piccie looks like you have one of those tiny pony tails ... that would put me off (but once I looked at the rest of the photos... I was pleasantly surprised) xx
PS I thought the swearing rant was pretty amusing
Happy fabbing! "
Please which one I don't want to look like I have a pony tail? Thank you and thank you again as I wrote it like that trying to make it more intriguing, |
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"It doesn't apply to you as you have a full profile with images but most don't so we just press delete.
It's obvious most don't read profiles and for us it's important people meet our preferences.
What some fail to realise is their has to be attraction and are wanting the same things.
Many single guys send messages forgetting the fact we are a couple.. saying things like.. hi beautiful.. and even include kisses.
It's a swing site not a dating site ffs"
I understand that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Because all women are different and you can never win
Right I think I've got it, Yon mean in the same way women are always right. My apologies I never meant to make a scene.  "
No not like that...
Each woman will be happy with one kind of those messages but u don't know which. It's Russian roulette |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"Because all women are different and you can never win
Right I think I've got it, Yon mean in the same way women are always right. My apologies I never meant to make a scene. "
Women, like men, are all different. If you think of us as a homogenous group then you'll fail. |
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"Hey OP I think your profile piccie looks like you have one of those tiny pony tails ... that would put me off (but once I looked at the rest of the photos... I was pleasantly surprised) xx
PS I thought the swearing rant was pretty amusing
Happy fabbing!
Please which one I don't want to look like I have a pony tail? Thank you and thank you again as I wrote it like that trying to make it more intriguing,"
It's your main photo... (to me) it looks like a tiny ponytail on top of your head (like the young guys are wearing)
Xx
|
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"Hey OP I think your profile piccie looks like you have one of those tiny pony tails ... that would put me off (but once I looked at the rest of the photos... I was pleasantly surprised) xx
PS I thought the swearing rant was pretty amusing
Happy fabbing!
Please which one I don't want to look like I have a pony tail? Thank you and thank you again as I wrote it like that trying to make it more intriguing,
It's your main photo... (to me) it looks like a tiny ponytail on top of your head (like the young guys are wearing)
Xx
"
Many thanks I'm hopefully going to get some new ones done on Saturday I'll make sure that one gets replaced, Since were on the subject any requests of what you'd like to see. |
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This site is very hard work i get instant deletes about 98 per cent of the mails i send out very little profile views i read profiles carefully and only message those who are in similar situations to me trying to actually get a conversation going is difficult.... and this is just chatting not even being flirty oh well |
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"A few tips...are you checking what the people are looking for? My profile is detailed I still get messages from people my profile says I'm kit looking for.
Correct the punctuation in your profile, I might be pedantic but misusing apostrophes aka 'greengrocers disease' is irritating.
If people aren't replying consider they might not be attracted. Do you want messages telling you that?
Consider why women don't reply..hundreds of messages a week, men not reading before they contact, abuse they get when they say no thanks.
How would you feel if you got an inbox full of crap? Men sending silly fantasy type messages what they want to do..it's a massive turn off tbh. The 'I've read your profile...' Messages when they've clearly not read it are quite tiresome.
The fact is most men don't read before they contact. You can't accommodate either, that's a negative and often means men your age are playing away.
I'm not on about not getting not getting responses or being ignored not once have I mentioned that (I'm chappy with my profile I'm happy with the replies I get and happy with the meets I get). I'm on about the criticisms guy's get when women and couples are just as bad. "
True, there are probably some women and couples who are just as rude and ignorant, and some or most guys out there on fab are decent. But what makes these couples and women behave like this? I think some previous posts have summed it up, which is why we now block all single men and only do the searching ourselves. |
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